Love, Lost, Found
by Diamondchild
Summary: They say it's better to have love and lost than never loved before. Well though it may be true it doesn't stop them from wanting what they have back again. though what broke them up in the first place may be some of the very same things standing in their way.
1. Chapter 1

**Look a new story:) I've written almost half this story and the other half I'm struggling with :/. Between trying to get ready for publishing and edits.. I'm going to update when I can, please bare with me... :) But I will do everything in my power to finish this story.**

 **So enjoy let me know what you think**

* * *

Being a billionaire isn't what it's always cracked up to be. Sure, I have money, cars, houses, but I'm alone. I have women around to fill my needs, but the void I have has never been able to be replaced. There's only one person that can fill it and she's out of reach.

I recently had to hire a new COO for my company. I started GEH three years ago, dropping out of college, and starting my dream. The company took off overnight and I was practically a millionaire overnight. My last COO Ros Bailey left when her girlfriend was offered a job in Tokyo. It was a huge opportunity for Gwen, and Ros wanted to be there with her. Ros still works with GEH but now handles the overseas operation. GEH has a small office in Tokyo and hopefully, in the next five years we can expand bigger and hire more people.

When it came to picking who I would want next to me there was no other choice then Miss Anastasia Steele. We went to college together and unlike me, she graduated with her MBA from Harvard. For the last year, she was working as a Finance Manager at a Transportation company in New York. I showed her how much more she would be appreciated here in Seattle, along with the much larger salary, and she took the bait. She's been working with me for two weeks now and it's been going great.

Tonight, she came over to talk about a new acquisition, but really we have been spending hours going down memory lane. We haven't had a chance to actually talk since she came on board. She was thrown into the deep end and didn't need a life jacket once to save her. She came through swimming on top. I knew she would be an amazing addition to my team.

She's laughing her head off remembering the first time we met. "I still can't believe you walked into my room buck naked, and drunk." She's giggling so hard and lays her head on my chest, clutching my shirt.

"What better way than to get into a girls heart then crawling to bed with her, then getting mad because I thought you were in my bed. You were a feisty little thing." I chuckle back. "You pushed me to the ground, then in the morning belted me with a bucket full of cold water."

"I've never seen a dick shrivel up so fast." She snorts with her laugh. And it's still the cutest thing in the world.

"It's was fucking cold. No person can withstand the ice that you poured on me. I still get flashbacks when I take cold showers." I shake my head, remembering the moment like it was yesterday and not five years ago.

It's one of those memories that will never leave my mind. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clocks and go back to those days. Everything changed that day, the first time she touched me, the first time in my life I wanted something more.

"I thought you were some psycho. You be glad Tom came in and saved your drunk ass, so I knew you weren't some predator. AND be glad that at least I let you sleep." She reminds me as I push a strand of her hair behind her ear, which causes her to stop laughing.

"Best day of my life though," I tell her softly and lean into her, wanting to kiss her. Ana's about to say something when her head turns at the sound of someone in the hallway.

"Master?"

Fuck! Haley's voice echoes into the room and I cringe when she uses _that_ term for me. She knows better than to call me that. But I have a feeling she was thinking her territory was getting stomped all over. But honestly, I forgot she was here.

I look at Ana and she's rolling her eyes, and untucking her body from the couch.

"Go back to your room…" I demand and she quickly obeys and scurries away.

"I should go, let you get back to your _plaything."_ She says standing up. I grab her hand and stop her.

"No, please. I'll get rid of her."

"It doesn't matter Christian. It's fine."

"It's not fine. It's… that's nothing…a mistake...please" I beg. I don't want her to leave. If I had known she was coming over I would've kicked Haley out. Hell, I should've ended her contract the second Ana came back fully into my life.

Ana sighs and steps closer to me. She runs her hand up my chest and leans into my ear. The fragrance of lavender and honey hit my nose. "You know, there's a time I remember when you only liked to be called Christian in bed…" she whispers in my ear before stepping back. Our eyes meet for only a second and it's not long enough for me to get a reading on her before she turns away. "I'll see you at the office tomorrow, _Sir_." She snips before walking towards the elevator.

"Ana?" I try to stop her, but she waves her hand back at me, telling me no. Seconds later the elevator is taking her away. It was like our final moments together years ago when we went our separate ways. When the fire went out on my heart and I became lost. She was the only person that could ever touch me and she will only ever be the only person.

* * *

I'm furious. I couldn't even remember the last time I've been this pissed. I had to pace the foyer for what seemed like hours to calm myself before I did anything crazy. Because all I want to do in the moment is tie Haley up by her ankles and whip her with a cane, and there would be nothing sexual about it, but to take out my aggression on her. The bitch should've stayed in her room.

 _Okay, I really should've ended our contract._

I tried calling Ana and it went straight to voicemail. I knew she wasn't going to answer, but I need to explain.

Then I remember there's nothing to explain. Ana knows exactly what Haley is and that I'm a fuck up. She'll never trust me now.

She was in my arms and I blew it.

Still fuming I march to the Sub room. I find Haley sitting on the edge of the bed twiddling her fingers. When she hears me, her head pops and she moves to me.

"Sir," she says breathlessly and bows her head.

Fuck, this bitch probably thinks I'm here to give her a punishment for disobeying me.

The rage builds up again, the vein in my neck pulsating with my anger.

"What the fuck gives you the right to disobey me and call me Master? You have not earned that right to do so. Nor have you earned it in front of my guests". I yell loud enough the pictures on the walls shake.

"I'm so sorry, Sir." She snaps her head up, looking me in the eyes, my anger doing nothing to shake her. "I heard you laughing with her and I've been waiting for you for hours. I wanted to be noticed." She says blunting, and with a hint of sass.

I've only been with Haley for two and half months. She irritated me from the second I met her, but I didn't have any interest in trying to find someone else. I just wanted someone to fill the hole in my life, anything to ease the ache and the loss I felt all the time.

It only took me till the third submissive to realize that it was never going to happen, that the void would never be filled. That I was to live with my past mistake. Sex with _them_ was a means to an end, meaningless, the dominance was the control I needed to handle the fact that Ana was still gone from my life.

I take a steady breath, trying to cool down.

"Haley our contract is now null and void. I need you to pack your things and whatever is left behind I will have sent to you." I say, as calmly as I can, like talking to an employee.

"Sir, I promise you I am sorry, and will accept my punishment." She bows her head again but remains to look up at me through her lashes.

"There will be no punishment. I no longer need you." I say firmly. If I have any chance of getting Ana back, I can't be living my past lifestyle. The lifestyle that I lied to her about which was one of the downfalls to our relationship.

"Is it because of _her?"_ she snarls, falling completely out of sub-mode. I give it to her, she's brave, especially in the mood I'm in, or she's hoping I'll crumble and give her what she wants.

"Who and what is none of your concern Haley. Our time is over." I seethe.

Haley marches over to me and reaches for my chest with a pointed finger. I grab her hand and toss it back. "You know better than to try and touch me."

"She can touch you. She was all over you all night. I saw her. Why can't I? Haven't I pleased you, Sir?" She whines.

 _The nosey bitch was watching us the whole time._

"You pleased me fine, but it's not working anymore. Please gather your things and I will have Taylor take you home." I dismiss her and start to turn around.

Haley starts to laugh, "I've pleased you, but yet you have a huge picture of her hanging up in your room. How many times did you wish I was her? I thought we were supposed to be monogamous, but it seems like you're holding on to a person who doesn't want you." She says angrily and I clench my fist together.

The little bitch has been in my room. It's the one place none of my subs are allowed to enter. My blood boils. But she is right, I always wished for them to be Ana, then who they are.

I turn around and glare at her, she cowers under my look. Finally. "You need to get out of my house before I have you forcibly removed. And it would be wise to remember your NDA the second you cross my threshold, Miss Garrett." I turn on my heel and leave the room.

I inform Taylor that if Haley isn't out of the penthouse in five minutes to have her thrown out.

* * *

The elevator dings announcing me to the twenty-first of Grey House. It's Monday morning and my floor is buzzing with activity. The first thing I do is get my messages and schedule from Andrea.

I notice in the corner of my eye, Ana leaning over her assistant's desk, talking on the phone. The tight grey pencil skirt really shows off the curve of her ass. I want to sink my teeth into that juicy peach of hers.

I remember what her ass used to look like naked when she would be bent over my bed and I would take my sweet time plowing into her tight…

"Good morning, Mr. Grey," Ana says pulling me from my pleasant memories.

"Miss Steele." I greet. She gives me a tiny smile as she starts to pass me to her office. I touch her arm, gaining her attention back to me. "Actually, can I see you in my office for a moment?"

She looks at me curiously before nodding her head and going towards my office. I stay behind her while she sways her hips as she walks. My eyes then travel down her smooth legs to her heels, legs that I used to wrap around me on a daily basis. I can't help but wonder if her legs were always that long.

I've been trying to call her all weekend, but all I ever got was her voicemail. The only response I would get from her was from email correspondence about work. It's probably better that way because as I'm face to face with her in my office, I'm not sure of everything I want to say.

"Ana, about the other night…" I start and she raises her hand for me to stop.

"Christian, it's no big deal. It's not like I didn't expect you to move on. It's been three years. I did, so…"

I grind my teeth remembering the moment I learned about her and her fucking boyfriend, Owen. They've been dating for a few months and says she's happy with him. He actually moved cross country for her. I saw them together one night, kissing outside a restaurant after I offered her the job. My heart shattered and the main reason I kept Haley around.

I would have thought since we remained "friends" she would have told me. Then again I never told her about the Submissives I had, but my relationships were to fill a void, not find love again.

"Right." I snap. I watch as she presses her lips together and sighs.

"You told me that if I took this job that the past would be just that, the past. That we're friends. I expected you to move on Christian, maybe not with the kind of girl I saw yesterday, but it doesn't matter." She waves off flustered. "You have your life now and I have mine."

"Why did you agree to come back here?" I ask randomly, trying to end the conversation. I know she's disappointed I'm still in the life that I kept from her, but I don't know what she expects from me. When I sent her the e-mail asking if she wanted the job as my COO, never in a million years did I think she would say yes. I was desperate to find a way to get her back to Seattle and in my life again. Then when she told me about the boyfriend, it crushed my dreams of us running off into the sunset together.

She stands quietly, looking around my office, but not at me. "You asked for help, you were in a bind. No matter what happened between us Christian, I still care about you. Plus, you need the best, that would be me. The one that actually has a degree." She smiles brightly, finally looking at me.

I want to say something, if she just let me stay with her I would've had mine too, but I refrain. The mess of our break up still plays harshly in my mind. If I was just honest with her, trusted her, we could still be together. I might have stayed with her at Harvard, or maybe she would have gone with me to Seattle. But I lied and I hurt her. I shake my head, not wanting to remember that look on her face when I finally turned and left her, knowing I was the one that held the power to keep us together.

I lost her and I'm still paying the price for it.

"Should we get to work?" I say ending the conversation.

"Um, yeah. But are we okay? I could see your head about to explode." She walks up to me and fixes my tie. I close my eyes and relish in the feeling of her touch on my no-go area.

"We're fine, Ana." I give her my best smile, even though it's slightly forced.

"I hope so, the last thing I want to do is lose you as my friend, Christian. We have always been able to get along. I know it's harder now that we're around each other all the time when our friendship was only emails and a few phone calls. But know even with our history, I'll always support you." She sighs and reaches up to kiss my cheek. "I'm glad you're back in my life again. That's another reason I took this job."

I'm left speechless as she turns to leave my office. I can't help the smile that crosses my face, maybe over time I can win her back and make her forget all about that Owen asshole. I'm just going to remind her of how good we were together.

* * *

 **Next chapter is going to start with a flashback. I plan to do those here and there... it's pretty fluffy ;)**


	2. 5 years ago

**I'm back a day earlier than planned. I'm please to announce that Playing With Fire (under my author name Erica Marselas) is now on Amazon for Pre order. I hope that if you liked that story, you will give it a chance- It comes live (and will be available on KU if you have that) December 8th. I'm excited about it.. lol...**

 **Also, with Thanksgiving coming I will not be updating till after the holiday. I have lots of travel ahead of me, but I hope to get a lot of this story written in the car. That's my hope *crosses fingers.***

 **And second I know some of the reviews questioned what happened between A & C ...I will say... No Christian didn't cheat on her. All of the reason why will slowly to unravel to why... And like I said this chapter is Fluffy. some insight to these two early relationship. **

**Enjoy let me know what you think...**

* * *

 **Five years ago.**

A gorgeous wave of brown hair passes by me as I sit on a bench outside of the economics building. She's pretending not to see me, but I know she knows I'm here. I know she feels my presence like I do her. Ever since the other night, I stumbled into her room wet, naked, and drunk, I haven't been able to get her off my mind.

I grab my backpack and go after her.

"Ana," I call out to her, but she keeps going. I catch up to her and put my hand on her shoulder. "Will you stop pretending you don't see me." I laugh.

"What would be the fun in that?" She quips and stops walking, turning to me.

"I think it would be a lot more fun if you gave me a chance and let me take you on a date." I give her my biggest, brightest smile.

"Christian, listen, I'm up to my ears in assessments…"

I push my fingers to her lips to hush her. I'm not taking any more of her excuses. That kissed we shared days go was earth-shattering and I need more. I need her. She touched me and I felt no pain. I need to figure out what it means.

Plus, she's fucking hot and the next time I'm naked around her, I want her quivering below me as well. I never thought in a hundred years I would say this, but I want to have vanilla with a girl, her hands on my body, no restraints...just normal plain sex, enjoying every inch of her body, slowly.

"You don't think I am either? All I'm asking is one date. Dinner. You have to eat, might as well do it with me. I know you like me, Anastasia. I can see it in your eyes and the way your body reacts to me." I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Is that so?" She raises her eyebrow at me. She's so stubborn and I actually dig that about her.

"I know so. Don't deny it." I brush her hair back and her body flushes, "I know our kiss affected you the way it did me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. All I ask is for one date and if you hate it, I'll leave you alone. But if you like it, well then I'm all yours baby…" I give her a sly smile.

I can't believe I'm practically begging for a date.

"Fine." she huffs. "Anything to get you off my back." She tries to say with a straight face, but I see the little smirk dancing in the corner of her lips.

"Good. Tonight. I'll pick you up at 7." I rush a kiss to her lips before she can protest and scurry off.

At six forty-five, I arrive at Ana's sorority Tri-Delta. I would knock, but it's unneeded since the door is wide open.

I walk in and there's a party going on. It's mainly all girls, but I see a couple of specs of guys trickled about. I look around for Ana but I don't see her.

"Frat Boy! Stage Left!" One of the girls yell and all attention is drawn to me.

I wave to the room of girls. Some seem to be checking me out while the others giggle or are sneering. I'm thinking some still mad at me trying to steal their banner. I don't know why they act like no one has ever tried to make them do something stupid under the influence.

"You're not welcome. Go!" Leslie, the president yells, pointing to the door.

"I actually came for Ana…" I start and Leslie laughs, walking over to me.

The others go back to what they were doing. I'm no longer more interesting than their drinks.

"Grey, Grey, Grey, you've come to court my sister after what you did the other night? I thought she told you no." Leslie sasses with a glint of humor in her voice.

"Well, I was able to change her mind and she never actually said the word no." I grin, "where is she?"

"Probably hiding wondering why she would say yes to an Alpha Pi." She rolls her eyes

I shake my head, "Rich always did say you were a funny one." Rich our president and Leslie used to date, they broke up a month ago, _supposedly_ , but they still mess around.

"I bet he would. She's still getting ready. You know where her room is. Just keep your clothes on this time." She laughs and walks away.

I don't think I'm ever going to live that night down. Not that I want to because it led me to Ana.

I run up the stairs and straight to Ana's door. I rap three times quickly and I hear her yell to wait a second.

There's some commotion before she swings open the door, "Christian…" she breathes. She looks amazing in a pair of jeans and a tight, gray, low-cut shirt. "Hey, I was just on my way down."

"I know I was early and Leslie said I could come up. You look amazing." My eyes rake over her body many times, my brain clicking permanent pictures in my memory.

She blushes and looks down at herself, "Thanks, you said casual… right?"

"Yes. You're perfect." I give her my pearly white smile and she looks back towards her room, embarrassed.

"Just...um...let me get my purse." She walks towards her dresser and grabs her bag.

When she comes back to me I offer her my arm. "My lady," I tease.

She looks at me, to my elbow, and back at me before shaking her head with a smile.

"Chivalry? I don't think that suits you." She teases back.

"I might not be so much of a white knight, but believe it or not I was raised with manners."

She giggles. Instead of linking her arm with mine, she grabs my hand.

"I believe that, but no need to go overboard. I happen to like a bad boy that sneaks into my room at night, that forgets his manners." She places a quick kiss on my cheek.

We walk out to my car, hoots, and hollers from the party along the way. I open the door for her and help her in, then slide to the driver seat, turning over the car.

"Let's go eat. I'm starved, then I got to get back and study for another hour before I crash." She sighs and rest her head back on the headrest

"Already in a hurry to get rid of me huh?" I joke with her. "We are going to have fun and you're going to let your hair down and relax."

She rolls her eyes, "easy for you to say. I need good grades, I don't have the fall back like you do."

"What are you talking about?" I ask her curiously.

"Everyone knows about how the great Christian Grey has a huge business plan when he busts out of here. You'll get your mommy and daddy's money to back you. You have your future made. While us mere mortals have to only hope for something when we graduate." She rambles on and stops, clamping her mouth down.

She turns her head to me looking contrite. "Sorry. I didn't mean for that to come out so bitchy and jealous. I guess I kind of am." She says sincerely and shrugs.

"What. Why? I'm sure you're going to do great things too."

"Maybe. It's just everyone I know has this fall back, they have money, no worries about their grades can get a C on an exam and it won't really affect them. I'm the poor girl on scholarships. I have to keep a 3.5 GPA to stay at Harvard or I'm booted. Everyone tries to make me go out, party, go _nuts_ , but all I can think about is how much studying I need to do if I go out. I only joined this sorority because of their benefactors have ties to the business world. I haven't even had time for a boyfriend…" She trails off and looks back out the windshield.

"I understand. I admire how hard you have to work and believe it or not, I need to work hard as well to prove myself. I just happen to let myself enjoy some of my time. I didn't get to do that in high school." I pause and realize that my life in high school isn't something I want to talk about on a first date. Actually, I hope to avoid all my past if I can, there are some things I never want her to know because I want to forget they ever happened.

"I like you, Ana. I know we haven't really got to know each other, but we talked for hours, we kissed, you can't say you didn't feel something. Something you want to try."

She nods, "I do." She whispers. "I haven't stopped thinking about the other day either. You're the first guy that hasn't tried to automatically get into my pants, granted you cuddled in my bed naked in the middle of the night." She laughs. "You're right though, that kiss the other day was something…" her cheeks blush. "I do want to give you a shot, so don't blow it."

"I don't think I will. I think you're going to like this date and you'll want a second and third and so on."

We drive a short distance and arrive at the county fairgrounds. She looks out the window and back at me. A large smile graces her beautiful face.

"You're taking me to a fair?" She chuckles, not keeping the excitement out of her voice.

"I thought maybe instead of a restaurant we could do something fun… and I'm feeling like funnel cake and turkey legs."

"The fair…I haven't been to one since I was a kid."

"Me either, I heard about this on the radio figured it would be fun." We both hop out of the car and I take her hand in mine as we walk towards the gates to get our tickets.

"This is great, Christian. I love it."

"Thought you would." I kiss her forehead and then her cheek. Any excuse to kiss her soft skin.

"You know, sir, you're high handed." She says with a playful smirk and I can't help but cringe when she calls me sir. Something I don't want her to ever call me. I do my best to shake it off, but my past is stewing around, telling me I don't deserve her, that I don't deserve this because it's not who I am.

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to ease my sudden panic.

"Well, you've been kissing me an awful lot lately and I thought that was something that was saved for after the first date." She raises her eyebrow at me and I laugh.

I instantly relax, remembering that this was my draw to her, her little humor, and the way she smiles. It makes me forget everything.

"I can't help it. I've already had a taste and I want more." I lean into her, hovering my lips over hers.

"As anyone ever told you that your pick-up lines are corny." She whispers, moving closer to my lips.

"Can't say that I have. It's not something I ever practiced before. Usually, girls are begging me…" I joke, but sadly it's somewhat honest.

She puts her hands on my chest and pushes me back, laughing. I grab ahold of her hands and keep them on my chest. I stare down at their placement in wonder. She's touching me again, and just like I hoped, there's no pain, no griminess. Now I honestly know it has nothing to do with me being drunk.

"Can I have my hands back?" She giggles.

My eyes jump to her and I release them quickly. "Sorry, I- You see…" I mumble, but I'm cut off when Ana's arms fly around my neck and her lips hit mine. Her tongue brushes over my lips, and I part them to let them in. I circle my arms around her body and pull her closer to me, revel in the feeling of her soft breasts on my chest. Her tiny hand tangles in my hair, as our tongues dance I can't help but wonder why I've never kissed a girl before. Ana moans deep in her throat and urges me on to kiss her harder. I grab a handful of her ass and my erection pokes into her.

"Do you guys mind?" An annoyed feminine voice squeaks behind us.

Ana and I break apart from each other and look at the older lady with her arms crossed and a small boy attached to her leg.

"There are kids around and nobody needs to see all that. That's for closed doors." She scolds and I bite down on the inside of my cheek trying not to laugh.

"Sorry," Ana mutters and takes my hand, pulling us forward to the ticket booth.

I pay for our tickets and I can still feel the woman's heated glare on my neck. Once we make it into the gates Ana and I both start cracking up. "That lady sounded just like my mother," Ana says through her laughter.

"Same. I thought I moved to Boston to get away from that."

Once the both of us finish laughing and the lady walking past us again with her nasty snarl we make our way through the crowds to the rides.

"What ride do you want to go on first?" I ask standing in front of the zipper.

I remember when I was eight and Elliot got sick on that ride after eating his weight in corn dogs and throwing up all over the chair and on me.

Her snaps to me and looks at me like I'm crazy. "You didn't say anything about rides. I thought we were getting food?"

"What? You don't come to a fair and not ride the rides."

"Um… I'm too young to die. We can go look at the animals and games, but you aren't getting me on one of those. I'm sure they can't pass half the safety measures they're supposed to. I don't want to be a statistic. Don't you watch the news?"

"I do?" I say questionable, knowing if I watch the news it's more like MSNBC or ESPN.

As I look around at the rides and I would have to say she's probably right. They do look pretty rickety and they do put them together pretty fast. The grinding metal as the zipper stops sends a worried shiver through my veins. Crap, now she's got me all paranoid.

"Alright, how about a game instead?" I put my hand around her shoulders.

"Sure, why not." She humors me. "It's your dollar, well dollars."

"I'm gonna win you something good. I'm great at this game." I pull her to a game where you have to throw a ball into a basket. It's all about the angle that you throw it at, otherwise, it bounces back out.

"Okay, hotshot have at it."

"Do I get something in return if I win you that stuffed dragon?" I wink. "Only seems fair…"

"I'm sure I can think of something you'd like." She kisses my cheek and hands me a ball.

I throw the first two balls and I miss. On the third one, Ana grabs a handful of my ass causing me to go completely off skelter.

"I thought you said you were good at this game." She giggles, snorting between them. She covers her mouth and nose with her hands, her face reddens in embarrassment.

"Well, that had to be the cutest thing ever." I tease her, but it's the truth.

In a way, it's so her.

"Shut up," she shoves me in the arm.

"It is." I kiss her nose, "I wouldn't lie to you."

"Just make the basket…. I really want that stuffed dragon now…"

I throw down another two dollars and given another three balls. "Keep your hands to yourself this time."

She holds her hands up and takes a step back.

I pick up the first ball and she inches closer to me and I turn around playfully glaring. "not another step."

She sticks her tongue out at me in response. I shake my head and really see now, the life I missed out on. I was angry at the world as a teen and among other things. It wasn't until college that I really started seeing what enjoying life was, but nothing like this.

I throw the first ball and make it this time.

"Winner!" The attendant announces.

He pulls down the stuffed pink and purple dragon and hands it to me.

"I told you I'd win…" I hand her the stuffed dragon and she pulls it to her chest.

"You did. You proved me wrong, hotshot. I'm impressed. Thank you. Nobody has ever won me anything before."

I move closer to her, forgoing my next two throws, and push my hand through her hair. "Now what do I get in return."

Ana puts her arm around my waist and puts her hand in my pocket. "What do you want?" She eyes me.

I have a feeling she's thinking I want sex as my prize, I mean I do, but I need…more.

More. A word that I was taught a while back would destroy me if I ever gave that to a girl. Girlfriends were not something I ever thought was in the picture for me. I didn't think it was something I would want to have. I know it was mostly because I didn't think anyone would ever be able to touch me.

 _Control, dominance, love is for fools, words I was told to be truth about me now seem more like… lies._

Because it would destroy me if I can't have her.

"Go on a second date, a third date and so on with me. Be mine." I grin, running my hand down her face. Her body flushes and I'm glad that I can affect her like she does me.

She bites down on her lower lip, and I'm a goner. "That's what you want? A girlfriend huh?"

I shrug, "Yes. Why not? I think we would be good together."

"Because I think your trouble…"

"You have no idea...but I promise to keep it interesting…."

 **Present time. Tuesday Afternoon.**

I stare at the picture on my computer screen of Ana and me in front of the Ferris wheel, with that stuffed dragon in her hands. Wishing I could go back there. Start again.

That night was the start of everything for us. We were always together because we could never be apart. After four months of dating, we moved in together. Everything was blissfully going well for us.

Till it wasn't.

I had planned to propose to her when we graduated. I had the ring and everything. Actually, I still have it. If only I had asked her at Christmas, would things maybe be different?

My cell rings on my desk and I see Elena's number come across my screen. I ignore it. She's been bugging me ever since I kicked Haley out. She's another person I need to completely disconnect myself with and I've already started by not allowing her in Grey house. I also no longer answer her phone calls or emails. I know she knows Ana is back. Those two can't cross paths. It would be a bloodbath… for me. Elena was one of the people that helped put the nail in Ana and mine's relationship. I can't have that again. Contacting Elena again after our breakup was a mistake, I always knew that the second it happened.

I was just…

Lonely.

There's a knock on my door and I close out the screen before I tell who is on the other side to come in. My skin tingles and I know instantly it's Ana. It's the like the electric energy amplifies when she enters a room.

"Mr. Grey, I have all the contracts ready to go for tomorrow. I just need you to sign them." She saunters over to me and lays the pile of papers on my desk.

"Thank you, Anastasia." I let the name roll off my tongue and I'm glad to see the chill run down her. She used to love it when I called her that because, in her words, it was a threat for me to fuck her and an instant turn on.

I reach up for her hand and rub my thumb over her knuckles. "I'll be picking you up tomorrow to take you to Portland," I tell her instead of asking.

I have a surprise for her and it involves impressing her like crazy. And what better way than a ride in my helicopter.

I could just have her meet me at Escala for it, but I want her to think we're driving, and not see it coming. When we arrive to Portland early, I'll be taking her out to breakfast to a place we used to go to when we would come home in the summer, and visited her father.

"Oh, you will huh?" She raises her eyebrow at me. She glances down at our joint hands and I'm grateful when she doesn't let go.

"Yes, I will. Give us time to go over the presentation. Plus, no sense of us both driving." I shrug.

"Alright, I suppose." She removes her hand from mine. "I need to get a few things done so I can get home at a normal time tonight. You know I don't do well getting up early." She gives me a small smile.

"Oh, I know. I'll call you with a wakeup call. I mean unless the boyfriend would get mad at me calling so early." I do my best not to sound annoyed by the thought of her sleeping with another guy when it should be my arms around her.

"Christian…" she sighs and rubs her hands on her skirt. She's irritated. She might not be trying to show it, but I can feel it. The air shifted just like it always did when we were about to fight.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. It was unprofessional of me. I'll call you when I'm on my way tomorrow." I say going into full CEO mode. I know if I want to try and win her over, I can't keep getting angry over the boyfriend.

She looks like about to say something but refrains.

"Very well, Mr. Grey. Just give the contracts to Lisa and I'll send them in." She turns and starts walking to the door.

"Ana…," I call out and she spins on her heel back to me.

"Christian?"

"Please don't be mad." I plead. I don't need her mad at me. I need to find a way to get my jealousy under check.

 _Ha! Like that's' ever going to happen with Ana._

"Then stop pissing me off." She gives me a coy smile and I know she's not really _that_ mad at me. "Just stop getting your boxers in a twist and we will be fine. I'll see you in the morning. You better have coffee and…"

"A cherry danish…" I finish for her.

She nods and walks out the door. My only hope is that tomorrow goes a lot better.

* * *

 **Next Up Ana's POV of their trip to Portland... really get to see how she feels about Mr. Grey ;)**

 **Also the flashback of CG walking in Naked and drunk and wet will come later when I feel its better needed:)**

 **ta-ta for now... Happy thanksgiving to the ones that celebrate.**


	3. Ana pov

**A/N: I really hoped over this long weekend I could finish most of this story... Guess what? It didn't happen... :( Between holidays and sickness the days have been a blur... but here's the next chapter I hope you had a happy holiday or week :)**

 **Now for Ana's POV:) and all mistakes are mine:)**

* * *

 **Anastasia…**

My alarm clock buzzes and I slap down on the snooze hard. It's too fucking early. No one should be up before five a.m. I groan and stretch my limbs before rolling out of bed. It's Wednesday morning and I have to be in Portland by nine.

Christian is picking me up and we're making the drive together. Three hours in the car with Christian. Alone. I have no idea what we will talk about because I have a feeling the three hours won't be filled with shop talk like he said it would be.

Things since last Friday, have been odd. I've done my best to move forward, but seeing him with that Sub, still makes me uncomfortable. I know I have moved on with Owen and he's allowed to do whatever he wants. I expected it. But falling into the lifestyle that tore us apart, the one he lied about, stings. I can only help but wonder what would have happened if we did stay together? Would I have been enough?

I shake it off and try to not let it consume me. It was three years ago. It wasn't all this fault. I have to take some of the blame. I know he was ashamed, it's too bad the truth and his apology came too late.

We've been able to remain friends and I don't want to do anything to lose that again. He's back in my life, maybe not the way I always envisioned he would be, but he's here. That's all that matters. I could tell my relationship with Owen drives him nuts. Any mention of my relationship he looks about to blow which I don't get because he goes home and fucks some submissive. The man has always been a walking hypocrite.

I still love him though. I probably always will, I would love nothing more than to be in his arms again. I just don't know if we can have what we had back again.

My phone buzzes on my nightstand, as I slip on my skirt. I smile when I see the caller ID.

"Hello."

"Good morning, Miss Steele." My body shivers at the tone of his voice and the way my name rolls off his tongue. It's even harder when he calls me that all the time now. In college, it was the way we flirted with each other, our foreplay. When I became Anastasia, I knew I was done for, and we would be naked seconds later. Him calling me that yesterday afternoon, had me recalling every hot sticky moment that we shared.

"Good morning, Mr. Grey." I purr back. I shouldn't tease the man, but it's so damn hard not to.

I'm playing a dangerous game.

I hear him audibly gulp, "I'll be at your apartment in twenty minutes, make sure you don't forget the Dalson files."

"Got them in my bag ready to go, sir." I cringe when I say that. I swore that I wouldn't call him that. It's bad enough I did it last Friday. Even though it was to make a point to him.

"I'll see you soon, Ana." He says gruffly and hangs up.

I throw my phone down and finish getting reading. I have a feeling it's going to be a long day.

I grab everything I will need for the day and head outside. It doesn't come to any surprise when I see Christian leaning against his black Audi. I'm guessing he was already here when he called me. I take a second to admire the man in front of me. He's wearing a navy-blue suit, with a matching tie, and a sly smile. Christian had always been good looking, but the last two years I can see how much he has matured. He's in better shape, bulkier than he was senior year, and his five o'clock shadow actually grows right, instead of in patches. I grin, thinking how much he hated that, but I found it cute.

"Good morning, Mr. Grey." I greet as I move to stand in front of him. I reach out and mess with his tie. I couldn't tell you what draws my hands to always mess with his shirt or tie, but I think it has something to do with knowing I'm the only person that can do this. Well, I think I still am. I really shouldn't just go around touching him. I have an Owen, but when I'm around Christian I seem to forget.

I hate that. It's not right.

But I can't stop myself. I mean we're just friends.

 _Friends touch and play with each other ties…. Don't they?_

"Miss Steele," his honey voice pulls me out of my thoughts and makes my insides melt, especially the way his eyes are raking over my body. "You look lovely this morning." He kisses my cheek and I'm now a pile of mush.

"Thank you. But you know what would make me happier this morning? My coffee you promised me." I cross my arms over my chest, wanting to get the thoughts away from the tingle on my cheek from his kiss.

Christian laughs and opens the door for me. "It awaits you inside,"

I grin and slide into the back seat. I can't contain my glee when I see a cup of coffee from my favorite coffee shop and a cherry Danish. I pick up the coffee and take a small sip. It's made just how I like it too. I shouldn't be this happy with how well he knows me, but I'm glad he's remembered after all these years.

Christian slides in next to me and closes the door, "did I get it right?" He asks.

"Yes, it's perfect. Thank you." I squeeze his leg and the car starts to take off. I look to the front seat at a blonde man, who I know is Luke Sawyer, another one of Christian's many CPO's.

"Where's Taylor? I didn't think that man ever left your side."

"I sent him ahead to Portland."

"Why?" I ask questionably. "Is there a problem? A threat?"

"No nothing like that. You'll see." He smiles as Sawyer pulls out into the road.

"Okay." I bite into my cherry Danish and moan, as the doughy substances hits my tongue. I don't miss out of the corner of my eye, Christian adjusting himself.

To be evil or not to be evil… that is the question.

The answer.

Evil.

I dip my finger in the cherry center and put it to my lips and suck it off. Christian audibly groans.

I'm about to do it again when he grabs my hand and stops me. "Don't you dare. I know what you look like naked and I'm not a goddamn saint. So, if you don't want me to do something you might regret, I would cut it out." His eyes bore into mine. I gulp and my panties dampen.

I almost wouldn't mind if he threw me down and took me.

Okay, Ana, less evil. But I get a thrill that I can still excite him.

He's still holding onto my hand and I almost come on the spot when he puts my finger into his mouth and sucks it off the excess cherry.

My heart is hammering out of my chest with how wrong this is. It shouldn't be happening, but there's no denying the chemistry between us still burns red hot. The air crackles when we're in a room together. Our love and passion for one another was never our problem – but now working this close together it's hard not to want to start a fire again.

Maybe I do need to break up with Owen. This isn't fair to him. Then I close my eyes tightly and I remember his submissive and push the thought away. Christian doesn't want me… he wants _them_. The women he can tie up, whip and fuck.

I take my hand back from his grip, "sorry." I say softly bowing my head. He turns away from me in an exaggerated huff. I don't know if he's upset or just trying to calm down his twitchy dick.

I look up and grin. It's the latter.

We don't say anything else until the car comes to stop a stop outside of Christian's apartment building.

"We're here." he smiles, now back to his somewhat normal self.

"Here? What are we doing here?" I question as Christian opens the door and steps out. I grab my coffee but leave the now sexualized Danish. Christian reaches for me, helping me out.

"You'll see." He flashes a toothy grin at me.

He puts his arm around me and we walk into the lobby. The security guard nods at us and we head for the elevators.

"Christian, we don't have time for games. We need to be in Portland in three hours."

"I know. I got a faster way for us to get there." The elevator arrives, and he punches in a code. He hits the roof button and the elevator lifts up.

"Christian?" I question. Why the hell are we going to the roof?

"Just wait…" he whispers in my ear and my heart skips a beat when the smell of his cologne hits my nose and his breath tickles my neck.

"You know I hate waiting…" I pout.

He chuckles and tightens his arm around me.

"I know very well how impatient you are Miss Steele." He chuckles, "one of the many things we have in common, but this will be worth it."

The large metal doors open, the cool wind hits my face as we step out onto the roof. I can't believe my eyes and my jaw drops when I see the helicopter in front of me. It's white and has the GEH logo on it.

 _How come I didn't know he had a helicopter?_

"I figured it would be quicker to fly."

"Holy crap." I breathe, still amazed by all this.

"Come on you, this is going to be so much better than sitting in traffic." Christian grabs my hand and leads me over. He opens the door for me to the passenger seat.

"Get in Ace, I promise to take you on a ride you'll never forget." He winks and everything around me seems to stop.

He called me Ace.

He hasn't called me that in years and hearing it again reminds me of how much I missed his nickname for me.

I somehow manage to climb in and sit down. Christian leans in and grabs the harness and buckles me in, tightly. His nose brushes against mine and his grey orbs stare into my blues. My cheeks heat up under his intense gaze. The universe is at a standstill and it's like nothing has ever changed between us.

"It's really tight," I whisper and he grins.

"That's how it's supposed to be. I need my number one girl to be secure." He smiles and ever so softly brushes a kiss on my cheek.

The memories of our past flash through my mind. The day he gave me that nickname. It was only after a couple weeks of us dating and I had aced all my midterms, while he got mainly all B's on his exams. He joked with me a called me an overachiever. I was actually surprised by my grades, because as soon as I started dating Christian studying seemed to become secondary, considering the amount of sex we were having on a daily basis. After that, he called me Ace, not only because of my grades but because I was his one and only girl. He didn't call me that all the time, but when he did, it was always extra special moments. He figured also I needed a nickname since I was always going around calling him hotshot. Something I did since the beginning, I think mainly because he was hot and had the biggest egotistical attitude around, well except when it came to me.

Christian breaks the space between us and closes the door. I watch as he walks around the find and hops into the pilot seat.

"You're flying this, Hot-shot?" I chuckle and throw my nickname for him back at him.

He doesn't say anything about the name, but I see the blush creep on his face.

"I got my license about two years ago. I told you, I'm sure."

I nod recalling a very excited phone call in the middle of the night. I remember feeling very proud of him and it reminded me of how well he was succeeding, without me around. No matter how hard the thought was, I was glad to hear him happy because one of us should've been.

"Though Charlie is new. I only got her about two months ago and haven't had many reasons to fly her yet." He continues through my silent memories.

"Charlie?" I question.

"Charlie Tango… it's the helicopters call name."

"Oh…" I look around this impressive machine at all the dials, buttons, and I'm blown away that he can actually fly this thing. Seeing is truly believing.

The rotor blades start to whirl and after he calls into whoever to get his clearness for takeoff, we're up in the air flying over Seattle.

"I'll have to take you up at night to see all the lights." His voice vibrates through the cans on my ears.

"I would love that."

I look over at him and he looks so young, carefree, and _hot_. He must notice me staring and looks over at me giving me his winning smile. My heart flutters and I realize I'm still complete mush from earlier.

It really is going to be a long day.

* * *

We arrive on top of a landing pad on top of a large building in Portland, that I'm a 100% sure Christian owns.

Christian helps me out of the contraption he's buckled me into. When I'm free, he picks me up in his arms and pulls me out. My arms instinctively wrap around his neck to keep from falling. I have to close my eyes and resist slamming my lips to his. Him piloting is the sexiest thing ever, and only made me what to jump his bones, but now being in his arms isn't helping a lick.

He places me back on solid ground, but his arm stays around my waist.

"We're an hour and a half early, I thought we could grab some breakfast at that Pancake place you really like."

I know my eyes must be twinkling with delight and my mouth watering. Bill's Pancake Hut is my favorite place for breakfast and I haven't had it in years.

He chuckles, "I can already tell you're excited. Let's go."

We arrive at the Pancake Hut and seated by the window. A blonde waitress wearing too much eyeshadow bats her eyes at Christian. He's not paying any attention as he scans the menu with over a hundred different styles of pancakes.

"What can I get for you, sir?" The waitress purrs and I flinch. I'll never get used to that and I hear a hundred times a day when he's addressed. Maybe I need to enforce a rule that Christian is not addressed as sir to save my own sanity.

"I'm not ready yet," his eyes pop to mine, never addressing the waitress. "Do you know, Ana?"

"Yes, I'll have your Boston cream pancakes, please. Oh, and extra whip, extra chocolate, and a chocolate milk." I smile brightly at the waitress. She writes down the order but still waiting for Christian.

He reaches over and grabs my hand, smirking at me.

"I should've known that's what you would get. I'll have the same."

I raise my eyebrow at him and shake my head.

"No, he won't. He'll have the strawberry cheesecake pancakes. No whip, because it gives him a belly ache. And a cup of coffee, actually make it the pot. Lots of little creamers." I tease, smirking back at him.

He did that on purpose, he hates my favorite pancakes. Always has and he always gets the same thing when we come here. Was this a test to see if I remembered the little stuff like he does?

"You're right." He finally looks at the waitress, that now looks forlorn, finally seeing she isn't going to have a chance with this dish of a man. "I'll have that."

"I'll be right back with your drinks." She tells us before walking away.

"There still hitting on you like crazy in here." I giggle and Christian frees my hand.

"What can I say. I was blessed with a handsome face."

"I'm glad to see your cockiness hasn't left you over the years."

He shrugs, "you like it."

"Whatever…" I try to keep the smile off my face, but it's impossible because it's true. I loved everything about him, even his cockiness, jealousy, and arrogance - because it was what made him, him. I knew what I would be getting into with Christian the second he came crawling into my bed drunk. I tried to resist him, but I knew it was impossible to try.

I try to shake off my thoughts about this man I used to be gaga over and look out the window next to us. I frown when an old beat up pickup truck passes by.

"I haven't been here since before dad died." I muse, thinking about how much I miss my dad.

When I was a kid all the times I sat in this place with him across from me. I would get so sick from all the chocolate, but I didn't care because it was our bonding time and the only time I was allowed to eat such high quality of sugar at once. Then when I started dating Christian he became a part of that when I would come home. He died a year and a half ago. I didn't even get to say goodbye and wish even more that I came home to Seattle, so I could've had more time with him.

Christian moves next to me and puts his arm around my shoulder. I look up at him and rest my head on his shoulder.

When my dad died that was the second time I had seen Christian since we broke up. He helped me handle all the arrangements and clear his house. I thought that week we were together there was a chance with us. What I didn't count on was when I told him about a new job in New York, that he would completely close off. We still held each other that night, but by the next morning, he left, telling me he had to get back to work and wishing me the best on my new job.

I was praying he would try and I know the timing of everything was bad considering my dad died, but I just felt he gave up again. I know I wouldn't have taken the job if he wanted me again as much as I wanted him. When he left it pushed him right back in that safe friend zone. I know now I should've spoken up too, I just wanted him to make that effort.

"How are you doing with all that?" He asks me, rubbing his hand down my arm.

"I'm okay. It's just hard when I think about him. Which is all the time some days. It just stinks that both my mom and dad are gone. Sometimes I feel so alone."

"I get that. But you have me and you have your _boyfriend_." I elbow him in the stomach for his tone.

"Oofh… you do know you have pointy elbows woman. All I was saying is you're not alone. You have me at least. I'll always be here."

"Thank you and the same thing goes for you."

The waitress comes back a little while later with our food. Christian hasn't moved back to the other side of the booth yet, and I'm slurping the rest of my chocolate milk.

When my pancakes are in front of me I quickly dig in. I'm starving. I forgot to eat dinner last night, but I won't tell the food police next to me that.

I put a large piece into my mouth and hum in delight. I can feel Christian's eyes burning into me as I chew. I turn to him and give him a questioning look.

"What?" I ask after I swallow down the pancakes made by sugar covered angels.

"I'll never understand how you can eat that…" He shakes his head at me, chuckling.

"It's good." I pick up a piece and aim for his mouth. "You don't know what you're missing."

"The only thing I'm missing is an upset stomach." He laughs and pushes my hand away. "I hope you can still work after you go into some sugar-induced coma."

"I think you need some sugar in your diet to help lighten you up, Mr. Grey. It'll help make you more chipper."

"That's what my COO is for. You know I don't do _chipper_."

"Yeah, I guess you only know grumpy these days. I remember a younger Christian being quite chipper. He was cuter too." I sass. "Are those suits some kind of grumpy old man cloak, hiding what you're really like?"

He tugs gently on my hair and I laugh.

"Cut it out and eat your sickening pancakes. We need to go over Dalson's offer and cut that shit in half. He's not getting more than five million out of me and expects to stay onboard with the company and still make a cut of the profits. Fuck that." He stabs his pancake aggressively.

I roll my eyes and mutter grumpy pants under my breath.

"I heard that Miss Steele." He grumbles, and I laugh.

"Fine, I have an idea about Mr. Dalson's position and get what we want."

"I'm all ears…"

* * *

Eight hours later we walk out of the meeting, a deal settled, a new company under our umbrella. I now understand why Christian was always into mergers and acquisitions. It's oddly fun to take over these failing companies and turn them into something potentially better. The wheeling and dealing, the bargaining, putting people in their place. I mean sometimes it isn't pretty, but there's still the thrill from it all. It took Samuel Dalson two hours to decide if he wanted to either retire or keep working with us with the position we gave him as an assistant to his old assistant. In the end, he took the money and retired.

Taylor approaches us as we walk through the lobby of Dalson and Dalson. "Mr. Grey," he addresses.

"What is it, Taylor?"

"We will have to drive back to Seattle tonight. Though, I don't recommend driving now. The highway is shut down due to a major accident."

Christian sighs and glances at his watch.

"Alright, why don't we go to dinner and see what it's like in an hour, go from there?" Christian asks me.

"Sure, I mean this storm can't last forever can it?"

I was wrong. The storm can last forever. There are about twenty accidents on the I-1. You would think there was an ice storm and not just heavy ass rain.

After a relaxing dinner at the Heathman hotel, celebrating our new acquisition and laughing our heads off about the past, it was safe to say we are stuck in Portland for the night.

"We can stay here tonight. In the morning, we can fly back." Christian tells me.

"Okay." I agree, knowing there isn't much of a choice.

"Great. I'll be right back." I watch him walk away when my phone buzzes in my purse. I pull it out and it's Owen. That's when I realize I haven't thought about him all day. I didn't even to think about calling him after the meeting and tell him of the delay. We had no plans, but fuck, I'm a terrible girlfriend.

I glance up at Christian who is at the desk and admire him. Watching the way his dress shirt wrinkles as his back flexes and the way his ass looks in those pants. I'm pretty sure I could bounce a quarter off those cheeks.

He always did have the perfect ass.

I shake away my dirty thoughts, staring back down at the incoming call and Owens face on the screen.

"Hello?" I answer meekly.

"Ana? I've been worried about you? I heard about the major accident on the interstate."

"I'm sorry, I should've called. The meeting ran long." I lie.

"Well, thank god you're okay. Are you on your way back?"

"Umm. No. I think we're actually going to stay in Portland tonight. This storm is insane and I think the highway is still bad. It wouldn't be fair to have Taylor drive back in this mess."

"Oh," he sounds disappointed. "I was just hoping to see you tonight. I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks."

"I'm sorry Owen. Work..." I sigh, "I told you this would be hard if you moved. That we wouldn't get that time as much as we used to..."

It was many of the reasons I gave him hoping he would stay in New York, find someone else, but he still wanted to come with me, also wanting a chance at something new.

"I know, Ana. I'm not upset. We have Saturday, the benefit dinner. Get dressed up like we used to in New York and have some fun."

"Yeah, of course." I bite my lip. He's been looking forward to it. I haven't. My old job used to have these fancy dinners once a week to impress clients. It was fun then, but knowing Christian is going to be at this benefit, him and Owen finally meeting, makes my stomach twist.

I'm really being unfair to Owen. I'm going to go hell because I'm leading him on when it's clear I have feelings for someone else. I feel terribly guilty because Owen has been nothing but sweet, supportive and helpful. At one point he was someone I could've had a life with when I didn't think there was ever a chance again with Christian.

God, I'm a fucking mess.

"Alright, I'll let you go. I'm glad you're safe. Call me in the morning let me know you're on your way."

"I will Owen. Night."

I end the call and it occurs to me I don't have any clothes.

"Fuck."

* * *

 **? POV**

Little Anastasia Steele, you're going to wish you never came back to Seattle.

* * *

 **Uh-oh who is ?**

 **This story is mostly a fluff bucket, but drama is coming slowly..**

 **Next up- CPOV... and their night at the heathman...**

 **Love to hear your thoughts :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**So what's going happen at the Heathmen?**

 **Christian**

"Fuck…" Ana mutters and puts her phone back in her purse as I approach her with our room key for the night.

"What's wrong?" I ask her considered. She looks back up at me and sighs.

"I didn't bring anything with me to wear to bed." Ana says, "or for tomorrow. I didn't picture us to be stuck here. I guess I should be like you and always be prepared." She giggles.

"It helps that I always keep a change of clothes in the car. Never know when an intern might spill coffee all over you…again. I'll have Taylor pick you up a few things. I'm sure you can wear my shirt in the meantime." I tell her, resting my hand on her lower back and pushing her towards the elevators. "If I remember correctly, you don't usually wear much to bed."

I look down at her as I hit the button for the top floor and watch as her cheeks heat up.

"Well, I still would need clean… undergarments."

"Undergarments?" I laugh.

"Shut up," She smacks me in the stomach. "You know what I mean. I don't need you going crazy thinking about me and my panties." She giggles.

I shake my head, little does she know that's all I think about most of the time.

 _Wait I lie. She's naked when I think of her._

The elevator dings announcing us to the floor.

I pull out the key, opening the door, and guide her into the room.

"Wow, this suite is crazy." She says standing in the middle of the room. "I don't think I ever stayed in something this fancy before." Ana walks through room the and admires all the knick-knacks surrounding the room. Her hand traces over the piano and I gulp. All I can think about is her laid out on it, with my head between her legs, like the time I took her at my parents' house our first Thanksgiving together. Everyone else was out shopping sales while Ana and I defiled the music room.

 _I bet she tastes as sweet as she did before._

"Get used to it Miss Steele you're making good money now. I think you should get used to living in the lap of luxury." I wiggle my eyebrows at her and sit my bags in the corner.

"It'll take some time." She smiles and wonders to the large windows.

The rain is still coming down like crazy and the large drops belt the window loudly.

"It's really coming down…" she muses softly before turning back to look at me.

"You're really going to make Taylor go out in this storm and buy my bra and panties?"

"It's what I pay him for."

And I pay him well to conquer a storm to bring back my favorite person some _undergarments._

"How does he know my size?" She raises an eyebrow at me.

"I told him." I shrug and move towards the bar, pulling out a bottle of La Jota Cabernet Franc, from the wine cooler.

"You told him? And how pre-take would you know?"

I turn and look at her up and down. Not hiding the fact that I'm checking her out. "I dated you for over two years. I've mesmerized every inch of you. Your body hasn't changed much at all if anything you're leaner and stronger. Are you not still a five?"

She crosses her arms over her chest. Even though she's trying to glare at me I can see a smile peeking through, and her cheeks heat up.

"You got lucky."

Oh, I'm not lucky yet, Miss Steele.

"Do you want some wine?" I ask holding up the bottle. I have two glasses laid out for us.

She looks at the bottle and crunches up her nose. "I don't know. Maybe I should get some sleep." She points towards one of the suite rooms.

"It's six o'clock," I question. "Come on, we can talk, watch some television. Relax?" I offer.

She bites down on that lushes bottom lip of hers and I'm a goner. I clear my throat trying to stop my racing thoughts of all the things I want to do to her body, over every inch of this hotel room.

"Sure… Why not? What's a little bit of wine." She shrugs and I can tell she's' unsure about it.

Ana moves towards the couch and plops down. I'm hoping that it will loosen her up a bit and we can really talk. Try to make her remember the good times like we were doing last Friday before Haley fucked it all up.

I fill the glasses and walk over to the couch, flopping down next to her. I hand her the glass and she looks at it for a minute before taking a sip.

"It's sweet..." she comments. "I didn't think you liked the sweet wines."

"I usually don't, but this is one of my favorites. They always have it stocked here."

"Well, it's good. It's been a _long_ time since I had any kind of alcohol." She says looking into her glass like it has all the answers.

"What?" I ask confused. A long time? This is coming from the girl that I used to share a handle of Capitan with on the weekends?

"Nothing…" she waves it off, but I store it for later. There's something behind that comment and I will find out.

* * *

We fall into an easy conversation about the Logistics of the company we just acquired and everything we need to do to go forward to keep as many jobs as we can. She's the only person that can talk about numbers and statistics and causes me to get a chubby. I love that she's about as passionate as I am when it comes to GEH.

This is the way it should've always been, her by side, only maybe I would be calling her Mrs. Grey instead if I didn't walk away.

Ana has been sipping down the wine like water and in her usual drunk self, falls into fits of giggles and hiccups.

"God the last time I think I was this drunk was..s.." she slams her mouth closed and looks away from me as she remembers something. "I mean, nevermind. Not the last time, but the last time with you. It was Boey's party Junior year, and you had to carry me home, but we didn't make it home…" She giggles at the memory.

I remember that night clearly. That night was insane. Boey was one of my friends from class and he threw one of the many end of the year parties. We got beyond trashed that night, well Ana more so than I. We only lived a block down from the party and I carried Ana home because she couldn't walk on her two legs. She was hyper and singing the whole time. But before we turned the corner to our house, she jumped out of my arms, pulled me into someone's backyard, and sucked me off. After I had come down her throat, the back-porch light turned on. We both panicked and made a run for it, while I tried to stuff my dick in my pants, laughing like crazy. When we got into the house, I bent her over the couch and fucked her till the sun came up.

"I remember it well, Anastasia." I reach out and brush my hand down her heated cheeks, "very well."

She gasps, I think louder than she was planning to, and starts her giggle hiccups again. "You can't do that. Call me that."

"But it's your name."

"NOT when you say it like that and you know it. I could consider it sex. _*hiccup*._ sex u… _*hiccup_ * damnit.." she gets frustrated by her interrupting hiccups, "sexual harassment." she finally gets out with a giggle-snort after.

"I love that noise."

"Liar. I sound like a pig." She pouts and folds her arms over her chest.

"I've always loved it...because it meant you were happy and enjoying yourself. You know I'm not lying about that, I've said that since day one."

"Anyways." she rolls her eyes at me. "That was a lot of fun. Like one of my top ten moments in life I would want to live again." She wiggles her eyebrows at me and licks her lips, "and I'm not talking about the party." She whispers lustfully.

Fucking hell.

I let a throaty moan thinking about her pink lips around my dick again.

"I'm guessing you agree." She smirks and eyes my rising cock in my pants.

Okay, I need to slow this down a bit and try to get some answers out of her. Drunk Ana always spills the beans when she's hiding stuff. It's how one year, and four tequila shots later, I found out she and Mia planned a surprise birthday party for me a week before my actual birthday, so I wouldn't see it coming. She was lucky I loved her and went along with it because I really hate birthday parties.

"Maybe you should take it easy on the wine," I tell and take the glass away. "You said it's been awhile since you drank a lot."

"Yeah," she frowns.

"Can you tell me why you stopped?"

She looks at me and I see the pain shift through her eyes. I know instantly it had to do with us.

"It was after we broke up." She pauses and grabs her wine glass throwing it back. She shakes her head as if she's trying to shake off the memory. "I don't think you'll want to know. It might upset you."

"I do. I need to know." I urge her. I really do.

"You have to promise not to blame yourself." She swallows down her hiccup and we now entered a different stage of drunk, where it's no longer fun Ana, but melancholy Ana. I've only seen it twice, and if I don't change the mood quickly, the night can end up going to shit.

But I have to know why she cut out drinking. The both of us used to drink like fishes, so I'm guessing she went to the extreme much like I did when we parted.

"I won't." I will.

She closes her eyes and takes a steady breath. When she opens them up, tears are pooled in the corner of her eyes.

"I was a mess when you left. I stopped eating, barely dealt with classes and found myself partying all the time. I hated being in that apartment. You were everywhere I looked, but I had to stay because we already paid until the end of the year and I had nowhere else to go. I hated you, loved you, I couldn't decide, but I was miserable for months. I kept wondering if I made a mistake, believing something I shouldn't have because of hearsay. Then I was sent a bunch of pictures of you and some brunette out with Elena. I figured you moved on. It made it everything worse. I wondered if I ever really mattered if you could move on so fast, while I was wallowing in a pit of despair. Every picture from before crept into my mind on replay, including the new ones. Everything hurt and I had no one to turn to. That night I drank so much to get rid of all the images in my head. I wanted peace for one day." Her body shakes with her deep breaths trying to calm herself down. "I ended up with severe alcohol poisoning. If our neighbor didn't come over I would've died. I know it was stupid and I didn't mean to go that far, but for those hours I didn't hurt."

I bow my head. Hearing all this is like a knife twisting in my heart. The last thing I wanted her to do was suffer. Thinking that I could've lost her. It's bad enough that I lied, but for Elena to twist the knife more sickens me. She thought I was fine when I was anything but. I can't even think of what pictures she could be talking about. I didn't contact Elena again till after Ana said we could only be friends, but it was still almost another six months after that.

"Those pictures, I didn't… not till..."

"It doesn't matter." She shakes her head.

"Yes, it does. You need to believe me. I know it's hard, but I didn't see Elena until long after you told me we could only be friends."

She snorts angrily, "Oh yes, your famous apology. You're timing sucked if anything, but it was already too late for me Christian. I just got home from the hospital. I was so sick, still depressed. I'm surprised they didn't lock me up in a psych ward. I needed to get better for me. I was so mad at you because the whole time I was beating myself up thinking I was wrong, that because I didn't trust you, I'd lost you and it was all fault. Only to find out, you did lie about everything." She shakes her head and I can see the tears welling up in her eyes.

"Ana…." I rub my thumb on her cheek.

She shakes her head violently, causing my hand to fall from her face. "Let me finish. You need to know this."

"I don't want you upset anymore, Ana," I tell her and pull her onto my lap. "I don't think I could tell you enough of how sorry I am…" I close my eyes tight and rest my head on her chest, holding her tight.

"I was pissed that you waited so long to confess. But I didn't want to let you go but I knew we couldn't be together. I didn't trust you. That's why I wanted to only be friends. Honestly, I didn't expect us to stay in touch. But when we did, I was just happy to have you any way I could."

"I wish I could take it all back."

"I know but It's fine, It's over now. I've forgiven you. Yeah, it still hurts once in a while when I think about it, but it's in the past now. Where I would like to keep it." She chokes back her tears. I know she's forgiven me, but I know she won't forget and that it still hurts her.

I run my hand down her face and brush away the fallen tears.

I need to change the subject, I don't want her crying anymore, and she needs to know how much she means to me.

"You're so beautiful. I never get tired of looking at your face."

Every night before I fall to sleep I have to look at her picture before I find peace in my sleep.

I cup her face in my hands and my lips find hers. I'm thankful when she doesn't hesitate and our tongues swirl together, tasting the wine off each other. Ana moans in my mouth and moves to straddle me. Our hands tug on each other's hair, pulling each other in closer, her core rocking on mine. My erection hurts, but I know right now I can't do anything about it.

"Christian," My name leaves her lips like a prayer when she breaks away.

I smile, and since I don't want this moment to end I kiss her again. The kiss is desperate, hungry. All the years of being apart, all the love I have for her, are all expressed and tangled together in this tongue twisting kiss.

Ana pulls away again. We're both panting, our foreheads pressed together.

"I never stopped loving you, and I never will."

She smiles lazily. "I feel the same…" she whispers and lays a light kiss on my lips.

"Be mine again…" I urge her. Beg her.

"I've always been yours…" Her eyes close and open and close again. She's barely holding on and I know that the wine is taking its full effect on her body. She's seconds away from passing out. I'm sure our whole conversation lost. She might be drunk, but I know her words have much truth to them.

"You tired, Ace?" I whisper against her lips and she nods.

"You want to go to bed?"

She shakes her head and curls herself around me more. "Here. Sleep here." She mutters.

"As you wish my love."

Ana instantly passes out and I fall back, lying down on the couch, her body over mine like a blanket.

I close my eyes and savor this.

* * *

The next morning, I'm awoken by my cell on the table. It's ringing annoyingly. I groan and Ana's body stirs on my lap. She moans slightly and her eyes begin to flutter open.

"Good morning," I say softly.

It's a hell of a good morning after last nights make out session.

She squints her eyes at me and then looks around the room. "Why are we on the couch?"

"Don't you remember falling asleep here last night? I asked if you want to go to bed and you said you were fine here." I smirk.

Like my body is on fire she rolls off me, standing to her feet. "On you? I slept on you?" She croaks. "What? Why?"

I tense my jaw, realizing that she doesn't remember anything from last night. The kiss that I thought was going to change us forever has been wiped from her memory. My fear that this would happen coming true.

 _Unless she's lying to me because she was ashamed._

"You don't remember spending the whole night talking. You cuddled on my lap and then you fall asleep. You didn't want to move."

"I remember talking, but not much else." She closes her eyes pained. "How much wine did I have?"

My mouth straightens, remembering what she told me about not drinking anymore. I glance to the empty two wine bottles on the table, knowing she drank most of them. She was wasted, and I might have taken advantage of that, Of her.

Fuck.

 _But she was into it._

"A lot. You kept saying it tasted like cherries and knocked them back. I guess I should've stopped you."

She groans loudly and holds her head. "I'm never doing that again." Ana looks down at herself and fixes her outfit. "Did Taylor bring the clothes?"

"Yes, they should be on your bed," I mumble.

"What's wrong?" She steps in front of me and brushes her hand on my face.

The memories of last night flash through my mind, her lips on mine, her body pressed into me, and now it's all vanished in a blink of an eye.

"Nothing. I guess I'm a little tired. We actually should get moving so we can get back to Seattle. You know try and get some work done."

Ana purses her lips together and searches my eyes. "I know you're not telling me something, Christian Grey. But I'm going to let it go because I have someone jackhammering on my head. You going to be okay to fly?"

"Oh yeah. I slept more last night than I usually do."

She closes her eyes and wraps her arms around my shoulder, pressing her lips to my cheek.

Ana knows all about my nightmares. Nightmares that she scared off when we were together. The nightmares that came back to life the second she was gone. "I guess I haven't been a good dreamcatcher over the years, huh?"

She steps away from me, looking me over. I give her a half smile and don't say anything. There's nothing to say. It's my fault she left. I did it to myself and god damn I never tried hard enough to get her back. I couldn't deal with her rejecting me again, so I kept her as my friend. A friend I only saw twice over three years, well technically three times, but she doesn't know about it. Much like the kiss we just shared, something I won't admit to her unless she remembers. I can't make things any more awkward than they are already.

She sighs, "alright. I'm going to get ready. Thank you for keeping me warm last night. I'm sorry I don't remember it." She gives me a small smile before walking to her room.

* * *

"Are you still coming to the benefit dinner on Saturday?" I ask her as we dig into the breakfast I had ordered up. She needs to eat and so do I before we head back to Seattle.

"Yeah." She says softly and pushes her eggs around, "Owen seems to be looking forward to it."

"Right, I'll finally get to meet the elucidated Owen," I grumble. I stab my egg harshly and forcefully take a bite out of it. I hate how angry it makes me. Thinking about his hands on her. Will she go home to him today? Let him kiss her, make love to her?

Maybe I should tell her about last night, but quickly shake the thought off. It might only piss her off, then I never will get the chance with her. Also, it's not like she didn't catch me with Haley and the way she looked at me I knew it hurt her as much as it does for me.

"Yep." Is all she says before she pushes her plate away. "I think we should head out. I'm sure work is piling up on our desks as we speak." She wipes her mouth off with a napkin and moves to stand up.

"Yes, we should. Let me call Taylor for the car."

She nods and makes her way to the bathroom.

I curse myself. I'm going to ruin any chances with her if I can't keep my jealousy in check. But it's so damn hard knowing she's with someone else while I lay awake wishing she was with me. Last night, in her drunken state she wanted me. I curse myself again, never fighting for her sooner.

She comes out of the bathroom and gives me a small smile. "Shall we?"

I nod my head and reach for her hand. I'm grateful when she puts it in mine. We leave the suite and head for the elevators.

"I only hope when we go to New York in a couple weeks, you put me up in a room just as swanky as this one. No expense spared." She giggles, "I've already come accustomed to this lap of luxury. Too bad I never got to find out how soft the bed was." She smirks.

And just let that, we are fine again.

It was Ana that could change on a dime and make the awkward conversations or our fights, well most of the time, light again. Since our first meeting, which involved me being drowned like a rat with freezing ice water, that I knew she was the breath of fresh air I needed.

"Maybe next time. I'll make sure to get the same room."

I kiss the top of her head and the elevator doors open. "Now let's try to get some work done. We have a lot to do before we leave for New York."

"But I don't wanna…" She playfully whines.

"Well, you have too." I push her into the elevator to the walls and tickle her side.

She starts cracking up, her laughter filling the metal box and I feel at ease again since the first time this morning.

* * *

 **? Pov**

I watch as they walk out of the hotel, his arm around her waist, and laughing with one another. They sure are cozy considering they're "only friends."

I take a couple pictures of them, knowing that the paps would pay a cool mint for this and boy how I could spin what is going on in front of me.

Wonder how Miss Steele's boyfriend will feel about seeing this?

I laugh, knowing that the dweeb wouldn't know what to do with it. He'd probably kiss her ass as hard begging her to stay. He's gonna to be a hard one to sway.

I grind my teeth when I see him kiss her cheek and the way he's looking at her. Three years and I'm sure countless woman, you would think he would move on from the mousy rat. They'll both pay. Especially the stupid bitch that should have stayed away for good.

* * *

 **A/N: Next up the benefit dinner... hmmm And yes, I do know these two are super stubborn when it comes to telling each other:) Each afraid of being hurt and the rejection mainly because of their past. But I think you'll REALLY like how it all goes down :) I threw in some hints in the chapter about why they broke up and you will find everything out soon even that ? ... well, maybe... lol ..**

 **Let me know what you think...**

 **Also, Playing with Fire comes out on Amazon December 8th I have a pre-sale going on if you want to check it out... just take out the spaces and change the dot to a . Like I said... I'm excitied.. www dot amazon dot com /dp/B077LXX4N7**

 **Also Watching You will be coming down on the 1st:( so save it and if you still need a copy PM me with your email just your name and server (ex diamondchild gmail)**

 **Thanks everyone for all the support since I started writing... :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Christian-**

"Why the hell are you so antsy?" Mia chastises me as I stand by the front doors of the main ballroom to the "Feeding World Hunger" benefit. It's something that I donate heavily too and I'm in the midst of having shipments sent overseas. Tonight's main focus is our own country's problem on hunger.

"I'm not antsy." I blow her off.

"Yeah, okay, then stop bouncing on your feet. Maybe you should get a drink. Calm whatever the heck has you acting so...odd." She chuckles and I roll my eyes.

The air leaves my lungs when Ana finally arrives and comes walking my way. She's wearing a long pink dress; the front is cut very low and the fabric is barely covering her breast. She turns just enough where I can see her whole back exposed. Holy hell she looks amazing. All I can think is running my tongue every inch of her body.

" _Oh,_ that's why you have ants in your pants." Mia laughs. "I should've known. I hate that you guys broke up."

"Same," I mutter.

Although the moment comes crashing down when the curly hair blond, dickless boy, Owen comes up to her, taking her arm. My jaw tightens because she looks so happy with him.

I'm about to turn when I hear my angel call my name. I put on my best smile when she comes up to me, giving me a side hug. My hand brushes over her bare back, and my fingers tingle in response.

She breaks from me and moves to Mia.

"Mia…" she hesitates. "It's so good to see you. I've missed you." She says sincerely.

"I've missed you to." Mia gleams and pulls Ana into a hug.

"I'm sorry I haven't called...I wasn't sure…" she pauses. I wonder if she was worried what Mia thought of her after we broke up. Mia and Ana got along famously, they always talked, and were more like sisters. Mia was pissed at me forever for breaking up with Ana because god knows it wasn't Ana's fault. Mia is actually the only one I confessed the real reason to our break up. She knows everything that went on with Elena and thinks I should tell my mom and dad. I should, but I haven't been able to deal with the fact they might hate me for keeping it away from them or what I did. Just like Ana did. Thankfully it seems mom and dad have come to their own conclusions about Elena and only deal with her when it comes to appearances.

"Also, your brother has been working me to the bone." She laughs and glances at me, biting her lip.

I have to resist biting that lip for her. She _knows_ what that does to me.

"Well it is I pay you for Miss Steele." My voice husky as I point to my lip.

Ana's pupils dilate and I swear I see a small shiver run down her back in response. Thankfully she heads my warning and release her lip.

A throat clears and our attention is turned to Owen. I roll my eyes inwardly.

 _Doesn't he know he just ruined a moment._

"Christian, Mia, this is Owen, Owen this is my boss Mr. Grey, and his sister Mia."

Owen reaches out his hand to me, "Mr. Grey it's finally nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you." He smiles sincerely.

Crap the bastard is nice. I'm getting zero asshole vibes off him. It's going to do nothing to help my case.

Wonder if he still would be so kind if he knows all the things I've done with his girlfriend when we were together. Does he know if you swirl your tongue just right in her pussy, with a pinkie up her tight ass, it sends her off like a rocket?

I put my best CEO smile and shake his hand, "Likewise." I lie.

Ana really hasn't told me anything about him. Granted I turn into a hot head when his name is mentioned, so I guess it's my fault I know nothing about beside a clean background check.

He steps back to greet Mia as well.

"This is a wonderful event, Mr. Grey. This is a serious issue in our world. Ana tells me GEH is a major benefactor."

"Yes, it's one of the many charities I give back to. Speaking of which could I borrow Anastasia for a moment. I need her to meet with Dr. Franklin who runs the program and go over my speech."

Owen looks at Ana and they share a nonverbal response with a nod.

"Of course, I'll find our table, _Ana_ **."** he stresses her name before turning back to me questioningly. "She always told me she hated being called Anastasia."

I look at Ana who is suddenly distracted by Mia's necklace.

"Right, how could I forget that." I give a half smile, "It's because it makes her feel like she's always in trouble." I smirk, knowing it was me she was in trouble with and there was always a pair of ripped panties in her future.

He nods before saying something to Ana and walking away. I feel slightly better she doesn't allow that fucker call her full name.

"Anastasia…" I restate and put out my hand for her.

Mia gives her a hug telling her they'll talk later before she reaches out and grabs my hand. I move Ana across the dance floor to meet with Dr. Franklin.

I met Roy Franklin two years ago when he started this organization. He started "Feeding the World" with two other doctors, who donated their time to doctors without borders. They saw so much when helping the sick and the hurt in other countries this was their way to hopefully give back. He approached me at my parents' gala and told me about the organization. I was intrigued especially with my early years, I quickly jumped on board to help.

"Roy, I would like you to meet my new COO, Anastasia Steele."

"Oh yes, the allusive Miss Steele. I've heard so much about you." Roy smirks side eyeing me. I resist the urge to kick him in the shin. I forgot I spilled my guts to him on drunken night after accepted the job.

"Really?" She asks curiously, glancing up at me.

"Oh yes." he nods, "He was very excited about you joining his team. Impressive resume, top of your class, honors. It's about time he got someone on his team that can outshine his ass." Roy chuckles.

"Yes, well he needed an _Ace_ on the GEH team, so he knew just who to pick. I outshined him through college too." Ana laughs back.

"Alright that's enough you two. Why don't you tell her a bit about tonight?"

The two fall into a conversation about Roy's next year outlook, while at the same time they both continually making jabs at me.

God, how much do I want to put her over my knee right now and spank her ass pink. She used to love that. If we got back together would she let me do it again, now that she knows where that kinky side of me steams from.

"Hey, I need to get the podium ready for the speeches. I'll talk to you guys soon." Roy slaps my shoulder and walks away.

Ana turns to me with her large bright smile. "This whole thing is impressive Christian. I'm glad I'll be able to help." She reaches up and plays with my bow tie.

"You could always pull off a tux, Mr. Grey."

When she's done fiddling with my tie she runs her hands down my chest. "You would think you were the next James Bound the way your rocking this."

I laugh, "is that so? Well only if you'd be one of my bond girls. You look…" I shake my head not being able to find the words as my eyes rake over her body. There's so many words I could use- alluring, sexy, hot, amazing, irrespirable, beautiful. They all fit, but she's so much more than all those words combined.

"Hey, aren't I supposed to be helping you with a speech?" she interrupts before I can finish my compliment.

"Actually, I think I'm okay. I really just wanted a chance to talk to you."

"Oh? About what?" Ana asks grabbing the lapels of my jacket. "is this about Morgan house again because if it is, it needs to wait till Monday. I don't need the headache tonight."

"No. I have accounting dealing with them now...I just wanted to see how you were?"

 _What the fuck. How are you Grey?_

She giggles, "I'm fine. How are you?" She teases me quirking her eyebrow at me.

"Ana?"

Both of our heads turn to Owen's voice who is coming towards us with two champagne glasses in his hand. Ana's hands quickly fall from my jacket and she takes a step back.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." He smiles brightly and hands her the flute before slipping his arm around her waist.

"I've been here." She muses back grinning at the fuckboy.

"Mr. Grey do you mind if I take my girlfriend back now?" He asks me, his eyes not leaving Ana's.

They both look happy and I feel nauseous. He gives her a kiss on the nose, her bunny like nose wrinkling in response.

"My boss is here. You have to meet her, you'll love her."

He doesn't even wait for my reply before leading her away. Which only serves to make my blood boil. Nobody walks away from me without being dismissed.

Fucker.

Ana looks over her shoulder and mouths an apology. I don't acknowledge and head for the bar.

I need a drink!

* * *

This night...sucks.

I throw back my whiskey, letting it burn my throat. It's been three hours since I've spoken to Ana. I've given my speech, mingled, and all I want to do it get the hell out of here. The air in here is choking me because I can't be around _**my**_ girl. Expect for the beginning of the night Owen has been all over her. It doesn't help that I to have been having people kiss my ass all night, not giving me the opening I need to go talk to her, but still, he could take her paws off my _Anastasia._

I can't stop thinking about the moment that we shared the other night in the hotel. How she slept on me and then how she forgot everything.

Part of me thinks she's lying about it, but Ana did tend to be a person that would get blackout drunk and you wouldn't know how bad she was till the next morning and she could barely tell you what happened after dinner. She was always such a lightweight.

I watch as Owen pulls Ana to the dance floor. She glances over at me and my jaw tightens. It's killing me and she doesn't seem to understand how much it likes a million daggers into my heart to see her with him.

I need to get away so I head towards the bathroom. I glance back at Ana again and she frowns. I see the question in her eyes. She can read me better than anyone, but I ignore her look and keep walking.

I enter the bathroom and stare in the mirror at the guy staring back at me. I don't like him very much. I don't even know anymore how I'm supposed to make this right. I try to get my thoughts together and wash my face in hopes it will calm my anxiety.

x

x

When I step out of the bathroom, Ana corners me, grabbing a hold of my tie, and pushing me into the wall.

"I hate seeing you so upset." She pouts and rubs her hands down my chest.

"I'm fine, Ana." I tell her but make no effort to push her away. She moves even closer to me and presses her body flush to mine. She places a kiss on the side of my neck.

"You look so fucking hot tonight Christian…." she rubs her face in my chest, "and you smell good too. I want you…" She pops her head back up and plays with the buttons my dress shirt.

"What about Owen?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "don't you want me Christian?" She moves her hand down my crotch and looks up me with a wicked smile. "I've really missed _him_ between my legs…"

"Fuck…" I push one of my hands through her hair, lifting her head to my lips and slam mine to hers. With my other hand I grab a handful of her peachy firm ass, pulling her to my achy cock.

I've missed kissing her like this. I never kissed my subs, there's too much emotions involved when you kiss. I didn't want that with them. Ana is the only one that will ever get my heart. She owns me.

My tongue swirls with hers, and every ounce of passion and electricity we share, passes through us.

I break away from her, she's panting heavily and flushed. I drag us back into the bathroom, and lock the door. Thankfully the bathroom is a single stall and clean.

I don't have a second to waste. I need to be inside her, claim her as mine again. I push the thin straps of her dress down her shoulders and chest, exposing her perky breast to me. The dress then pools at her feet and almost die when I see she's not wearing any panties. Her arousal fills my nose and it's like we're twenty again. When everything was perfect between us.

"I wanted to be ready for you, Mr. Grey."

"Oh Anastasia, I've missed you so much." I growl. "I'm going to fuck you hard, but I'll make it up to you later baby. In my bed."

I take an extra second to admire her naked form before I attack her. My mouth can't resist to wrap around her nipples. I suck wildly, and my fingers rub between her wet folds.

Ana is gripping on my hair and panting like crazy, thrusting her hips on my fingers.

"Christian, I need your cock. Please." She begs.

"Anything you want Ace." _Anything for my number one girl._

I undo my pants and let my dick free. She licks her lips looking at it lustfully only making me harder.

I waste no time and lift her in my arms and push her against the wall. My dick slams into her and it's home. Her slick velvety center wraps tightly around me and my lips find her neck, my thrusts are hard and violent. Being inside of her again is making me lose all control. Fuck, this woman always made me lose control.

"Yes, Christian, yes." She screams loudly I'm sure everyone in the ballroom can hear us. Even that Owen fucker. But I don't care there's no better sound than her calling my name in ecstasy.

"I love you baby. I'm never letting you go again."

"I love you, too…"

I bite the side of her neck, marking her as mine. The world needs to see my claim on her.

"Mine…" I growl.

"Yours…"

Her core tightens around she's seconds away from coming around me.

x

x

"Christian?" Mia's voice brings me out of my daydream as I walk back into the ballroom.

My head snaps to my sister, who now walks beside me. She sips on her flute of champagne, looking around the crowded dancefloor.

"You know Ana is still in love with you." She muses.

I look ahead of me and see Owen gliding Ana across the dancefloor. Now all I want to do is go back to the fantasy world.

"What?" I question her observation.

Ana might have told me she did in a drunk confession, but she hasn't told me sober. Friends is the only thing I get from her. Add that to her dancing with Owen and rubbing it in my face, says a lot, and makes me boil over in jealousy.

Maybe I should have brought a date, say fuck it all and maybe make her jealous in return, but I knew that wouldn't help anything.

"Open your eyes. She can't stop looking at you and I saw you two earlier, she finds any excuse to try and touch you. She. Loves. You. But I'm sure everything still hurts. You lied to her. Left her instead of confessing the truth to her. And I know that you're still talking to Elena. After what she did to you. You don't really deserve Ana yet."

"I've stopped talking to Elena. I just didn't…. I shouldn't have, but when I didn't think Ana was coming back - I fucked up, but I want to fix it. But she's with him and there in love I guess. He moved to be with her."

"She's not in love with Owen, Christian. God, you're fucking blind. She likes him, cares for him sure, but she doesn't look at Owen like a girl in love… she does that with you." Mia tells me pointedly and walks away in a huff.

I glance back to the dance floor and my eyes meet Ana's. She smiles at me before looking away.

The song changes to our song, Ed Sheeran's "Perfect." I know every word to this song. This is our song. There's no way I'll let the dickless boy dance with her during this song and tarnish the memories. My feet move quickly to the dance floor.

"May I cut in?" I ask roughly to the dancing couple, dying to hold Ana in my arms.

Owen looks to me then at Ana. "Sure," he answers reluctantly, twisting his lips. He kisses Ana's cheek before handing her over to me. I inwardly cringe when his lips touch her.

I can't help but think what they have been doing together, alone, since Thursday.

"I'll be at the bar." He tells her before walking away.

I pull Ana in my arms and she wraps her arms around my shoulders. Her fingers brush my shoulders and she moves a lot closer to me than she did with him.

"I love this song…" She smiles up at me. "I seem to recall lots of good times when this would play."

"I remember when it became ours."

Her cheeks flush in response, and she rests her head on my chest. "I remember too." She whispers and somehow moves in even closer to me, her breast squished into my chest, sending my body into a frenzy as our song coons on.

" _Darling you look perfect tonight…_." I whisper the lyrics in her ear, the words I needed to tell her earlier, and recall the memory of what this song means to us.

It was the first time we made love. We were dating for a week and I had wanted to surprise her with takeout knowing she was writing an essay, that she dubbed the impossible to conquer and refused to break for food. She was only starting to learn how crazy I got about not eating. I ordered her favorite Chinese and was going to make sure she ate, and planned to give her a speech on how food was brain power. But when I got there she was fast asleep, her head flat on the desk, with the pencil still in her hand.

I gently woke her and I don't think I've ever seen her so happy to see me and food. Once we finished eating, I turned on the radio, she curled into my body, where we made out for what seemed like hours. She told me then my simple gesture was the sweetest thing anyone has done for her. Clothes started flying everywhere and the song cooed in the background as our relationship went to a totally new level.

"This event also reminds me of all the parties we used to go to." She smiles up at me, pulling me from my memories. The song changes, and her fingers still dancing along my back.

"I think this is a hell of lot tamer than what we used to do." I glance around the uptight room. It's mainly bald businessman in stuffy suits with their arm candy. The ones that bring in the money.

"I meant us dancing together." She blushes and her hand now plays with the hair on the nape of my neck.

"Yes, I could never keep my hands off you when you were shaking your ass. Too bad the music isn't more up-tempo."

She giggles and chomps down on her bottom lip. "We did have some really good times, together didn't we?" She says wistfully.

"Yeah we did." There's that look in her eyes. A look I've seen a million times. The same one from my fantasy moments ago. She wants me. There's that look in her eyes. A look I've seen a million times. The one from my fantasy moments ago. She wants me

Suddenly her fingers stop dancing on my neck, her body moving from mine slightly, her head snapping towards the bar where Owen is. I look over as well, I know whatever she's feeling she's trying to control since her boyfriend is standing at the bar talking with an overweight gentleman and a blonde woman stands nearby, watching them, while sipping on his bourbon.

It's hard to believe that he doesn't seem to care that his girlfriend is in my arms, especially a guy that's fucked her in every imaginable position and wants nothing more than to throw her on a table a fuck her senseless.

I pull Ana back to me, which doesn't help calm the raging hard on that I have. She has to feel it, she has to know how much she still affects me.

My fingers dance along her naked back to the top of her ass. I have missed the way her naked skin feels on my fingertips.

"Does Owen know about our past?"

Her head pops back over to me and shrugs nervously, "somewhat. I didn't go into much detail just that we used to date but ended up better as friends. Why?" Her fingers are back to caressing my neck and shoulders.

I wonder if she needs to touch me as much as I need to touch her?

What am I talking about, Mia is right, she does always find an excuse to touch me, especially my chest.

"If it were me, I wouldn't have handed you over so quickly to an ex. To be honest I don't know how I'm going to give you back to him."

She giggles and rest her head on my shoulder. Her hand plays with the lapel of my jacket.

"Owen isn't as crazy and possessive as you are. It's not like we don't work together everyday…" Her head pops off my shoulder, "plus, he trusts me."

Her eyebrows knit together and a flash of uncertainty flashes through her eyes.

And I wonder if that means she doesn't trust me or herself.

"I trusted you…"

"I know, but you're still a caveman about others coming near me…"

I frown and she grabs a hold of my cheeks and puckers my lips.

"It's not a bad thing, Mr. Grey. It's one of the things I adore about you."

"Adore? Only adore?" I ask curiously between my squeezed cheeks.

"You know what I mean…" She releases my face.

"Ana...I…" I fumble with my words, wanting to tell her how I feel, but I'm cut off by a tap on my shoulder.

"Can I have my girl back?" Owen smiles at Ana and she drops her arms from my shoulders, putting distance between us. All I want to do now is throw her over my shoulder and carry her out of her. Show her just how much of a caveman I can be, but the moment we were having has faded away.

I put on a fake smile and step away, "of course."

Owen nods at me and takes Ana back in his arms. He whispers something in her ear and I see her force a smile at him. She looks over at me worried. But my stomach turns when Owen grabs her face and kisses her long and hard on the mouth. The place where my lips should be. I can't watch this any longer. All night she's been with him. There's only so much more my heart can take. I turn on my heel and head out of the ball room.

It hurts too much to see her wrapped in someone else and after all the moments we've shared lately, I'm still not good enough for her. If she wanted me, wouldn't she have dumped him?

My only wish was I fought harder for her years ago, because I'm starting to believe it's to late.

I think I hear someone calling my name as I exit the room. Figuring it's Mia I keep walking. My blood runs cold and now I need to either think of something bigger to wow her or let her go…

Again.

 **? POV**

I've been hiding in the shadows all night waiting for the right time to approach him. Finally, he breaks away from the skank and heads to the bar. I make my approach.

"Owen, isn't it?"

His head spins to me and looks at me curiously.

"Yeah?"

I look over at Ana and Christian dancing and roll my eyes.

"You do know your girlfriend used to date Mr. Grey, right?"

He looks at me blankly, and turns to the "happy" couple, who are smiling and laughing on the dance floor, and back to me.

"Somewhat…. She told me they're friends now. That they were better off that way." He throws back the drink the bartender just gave him.

"And you believe that?" I chuckle, "look at them. Those two are still in love with each other."

I see him peek back at the dance floor. Out of my bag I grab the pictures I took the other day and slide them in front of him.

"They sure look pretty cozy for just friends, don't they?"

He glances over the pictures and I can see his jaw tighten. "Doesn't mean anything. If she wanted him, why stay with me?" He shrugs and asks for another drink.

"Because Ana Steele is a cheating skank. Did you know that's why they broke up? She cheated on him. She likes ripping men apart."

"Then why would Grey want her back?"

"First loves will do that to you." I say nonchalantly. "He's blinded by her. He's always been."

"That just doesn't sound like Ana…" I groan. I knew he would be would a hard one to turn.

"It may not sound like her, but it is. Look how close she is to him. I would go get your girl back before he takes her on the middle of the dance floor."

Owen gulps down another shot and moves off the stool when Anastasia pinches Christian's lips together.

God they make me sick.

I laugh when Owen takes Anastasia back in his arms and whispers in her ear, then possessively kisses her. Christian is stewing, and Ana looks none too pleased with Owen's sudden kiss. I can't help the pure joy in me when he walks away and leaves the ballroom. Knowing Christian he's going to become cold and closed off to her. I laugh even harder by Ana's disappointment of Christian's vanishing act and Owen holding onto her from running off.

Perfect.

I make my exit.

* * *

 **Oh I know so many of you want to know who ? is... hehe... there was a hint- or was there? ;p**

 **And I know how their both acting- but it's the way I made them... so much in love but always unsure of how to express it in fear of getting hurt... I wanted it human like in sense of the pain they went through - and we will soon learn what went down... (chapter 7)**

 **I'll be back Friday - warning now it's a shorty... but I think a good one... :)** **Let me know what you think:) Love hearing your thoughts... your reviews make me happy -lol**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Today is a big day for me. As you probably already know, my first book Playing With Fire comes out today on Amazon… WOOOO! Check it out if you please… if you liked it as FF I really think you'll like it now…. (I'll put the address at the end of this chapter) Also I know I know this is a short chapter. BUT there's lot of things going on in here! And plus, It really does stand alone and it's my favorite chapter for my big day…**

 **ANA**

This week has been stressful and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight for it.

Every day when I walked into GEH, I would get this chill down my back, because the air had turned frosty. Christian has completely shut off since the benefit and anytime I try to talk to him, he ends the conversation unless it pertains to work. He's not angry, snapping or yelling, at _me_ , but he's checked out, he's like a robot. I know this Christian like the back of my hand, but it doesn't mean I like it, I just understand it..

Now it's Sunday afternoon and I've been trying to get a hold of him all day. He won't answer which is unlike him, not even a text in return. I can't help but wonder if he's with one of his sex slaves. The thought leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. With the way he's acting, it wouldn't surprise me. What was it that he told me years ago, it was a stress reliever? And boy is he wound up tight. I only wish he would talk to me. I know he was upset at the ball. Me being with Owen was killing him. I tried calling after him to stop him from leaving that night, I wanted to talk to him, but he kept going. It also didn't help Owen kept a hold of me, needing to talk to me himself.

On Monday I was hoping to tell him of certain changes that I thought he would be happy about, but he looked through me, instead of at me, so I decided to keep it to myself. However, even under his blank stare, I could see he was hurting.

We leave for New York Tuesday morning and I hope by then he's talking to me. I miss my Christian. I hate this closed off tyrant that he's become.

Along with all that, I've started seeing this girl pop up everywhere I am. I don't feel like it's a coincidence either. I have no idea who she is. She's blonde, lanky, and always wearing sunglasses, even at night. She's always far enough away and never approaches me, but it's starting to creep me out. I've told Taylor about it and he told me he'd look into it. Maybe having a stalker is an added bonus to working with Christian Grey. God knows everyone wants a piece of him.

"Christian?" I call out his name as I walk through his penthouse. I'm actually surprised not to see Taylor greeting me, but then I remember I'm on the always welcomed list.

At least that hasn't changed.

I check his study first, and he's not there. I walk further down the hall and that's when I hear music coming from his bedroom. I approach the room and the music coming from behind the door sounds eerily familiar. I knock on the door and call his name again. There's no answer. Maybe he's in the shower.

I hope he's in the shower, my stomach twists at the thought of him with another girl. I should turn away, but I need to talk to him about New York. Also, it's like the music is calling me to enter. I know this damn song.

I knock again and the door pushes open. I take it as an invite and walk in. I stop dead in my tracks at the image before me.

It's something I've seen him do countless of times, but maybe not quite like this. He's lying in the middle of his bed, fisting his cock, watching whatever is going on the TV. I know just what it is, by the moaning and groaning, that peaks between the loud music. I know I shouldn't, but I can't stop my legs from moving. I've never been in here before and I quickly look around the room. My heart almost goes into cardiac arrest when I see a large portrait of me hanging on his wall. I remember that picture. It was from spring break and we went to Cancun for a week. I'm wearing a green bikini, sunglasses on my head, smiling at the camera with the beach behind me. But that's not the only thing that makes my heart stop. It's the video he's watching. It's of us. From back in college. The music in the background is from this local band we used to love, and they had some crazy hot songs. The lyrics crooning alone is enough to spike my blood pressure.

I don't know how Christian hasn't noticed me in his room yet, but I guess he's really into it. I should tell him I'm here, but I can't stop watching him masturbate to the old us.

" _I love you, so much baby…"_ Christian's voice moans from the television _. "You're so fucking beautiful when you ride my cock. I don't know if I'll ever get enough of you…"_ I can see the love he has for me shining from here. If I think about it, he's never stopped looking at me like that.

" _I love you too, Christian." My voice comes out panting._ I watch myself bounce on his dick, my head thrown back in ecstasy. I cross my legs together, the night of us making this video coming back to me. It was about a month before we broke up, we had just finished one of our exams, and we didn't feel like studying. So, instead, like we have done many times before, we recorded ourselves having sex. There was something hot and kinky that thrilled us both when we made videos and then watch them later together. Hell, there were days that I would catch him doing exactly what he's doing now.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change what happened, but would he be where he is now if we didn't part?

He had a whole other life he never admitted to having till I found out from the sea witch. When I asked him about it, he denied it. I told him I knew for a fact he was lying. That if he didn't have the guts to tell me the truth, then maybe breaking up was for the best. I think there's a part of me that thought if he just confessed the truth, I might have moved with him and finished my degree at a different school.

I mean before the destruction, everything between us was perfect. I really thought he was the man I was going to marry. Then that Christmas it all blew up in my face. I tried so hard to ignore it, hoping he would tell me everything so I could understand, but he refused. It shattered me he didn't trust me enough.

It wasn't until months after he had already left to go back to Seattle, that he got drunk and confessed he lied to me. I had already been through so much after I almost drank myself to death, that his confession only made everything hurt more. I had pictures, that I know now were fake, but I was sure he was back in Elena's web, and there was no way I would be around him if she was. I ended up telling him I understood, but it would be better if we only remained friends. There was a part of me that thought if he wanted me back so much, he would have tried harder. It never came. Then again, as much as I loved him still, I didn't put out the effort either, but I think it was because I always felt it had to come from him. Though I guess he's been sated enough with willing submissives to not think of me.

 _I wonder if the she-witch is still around? Though I have an inkling she's somewhere waiting in the wings ready to ruin lives._

But in the end, I knew it was better because he would have thrown everything away if he didn't go start GEH right away and he would have ended up resenting me.

Christian moans, grabbing my attention back from my thoughts, and my eyes can't stop looking at him tugging on his dick. It's so fucking hot.

My subconscious is telling me to leave. This is his private moment and I shouldn't be here. But why can't I leave? I look at the video again and smile. He's flipped me to the mattress, where I'm wrapped around him, our foreheads touching as we stare at each other, and Christian's moving slowly in and out of me.

All our memories come flashing back to me in an instant, how happy and in love we were. Things I locked away, so I could stop missing him. God, I miss him.

" _I feel you, Ana. I'm right there…"_

" _Fuck, Christian…" video me yells, as I turn into a shaky mess._

"Ana…" Christian grunts out from the bed and my attention turns to him as he shoots out a long hot stream of cum onto his stomach.

I don't think I've ever been this turned on in my life.

He reaches over and clicks off the television. Instead of running away embarrassed I open my mouth. "Christian?" I say breathlessly.

His head snaps to me and I see him clamor for the blanket to cover himself. "Ana, what the fuck? What are you doing in my room?" He yells.

"I needed to come talk to you about New York and Morgan house. I left you a message that I was on my way. I knocked and…" I say nervously and he looks pissed, but I also can tell he's embarrassed. Not that I blame him. I'm sure the last person he wanted to see as he jacked off to me, was- well - me. "I'm sorry…"

"Get out…please." He stresses his urgency and points to the door.

"Christian…" I walk closer towards him. I have no idea what to do or what to say. My body seems to be doing all the thinking. I kneel on his bed and reach out to touch his face. My lips landing on his. What was meant to maybe be a peck, turns into a real tongue twister. He grabs the back of my head, pulling me closer, and I moan against him.

His lips feel and taste good as I remember. When he touches me it always makes my skin ignite, I instantly melt in his arms. The arms that were always meant for me. I can feel his love for me conveyed through this one earth-shattering kiss and I'm doing my best to give him that in return.

Then my brain kicks in and I push him away. He has a Sub _-missive_ or whatever. We're not ready to for this. This is… I don't even know what this is, but I can't do this if he's fucking someone else. I mean is he? He hasn't told me any differently, but would he tell me?

"I'm sorry…" I jump up and run out of the room. I'm sure leaving him maybe as confused as I am.

I make it to his living room and start to pace. I can't just leave after what happened, we have to talk, but I have no idea what I'm going to say. Owen and I broke up after the ball. We had a fight about him not trusting me around Christian. I couldn't lie and told him the truth, that I still had feelings for Christian. He yelled. I apologized, he kicked me out, and that was the end of that. We didn't live together and I didn't keep much of anything at his place, so it was an easy break. I do feel bad for not being more forceful about it before I moved, but I had no idea what to expect.

The moment Christian was physically back in my life the tides changed. I haven't been able to think straight since.

I took on the role of COO because I wanted to help him, but I know it's because I missed him, and honestly never stopped loving him. I've only seen him a handful of times over three years. Every time we talked it became harder it harder and soon the distance between us started to grow. I didn't think that this would ever happen where I would be working for him, but when he emailed me offering the job, I instantly took it. Plus, who turns down a six-figure salary.

Then when Owen said he would come with me was the biggest shock. We were only dating for a month. It made me feel ten times guiltier for not going with Christian. The only difference was Owen wasn't working yet. Though with his qualifications it was easy for him to find a job with an Accounting firm. To be honest, I think he might have been using my connections as much as I was holding on to him as a just in case.

I think back to the time when it ended for Christian and I. How much it could've ended up differently if maybe other people didn't interfere with our lives.

 **OK I know I know You all want them together… BUT the next chapter is a flashback to what happened to them…very very important stuff…. and then... mwahahaha .. we will see what the fall out is from that kiss was… ;) Let me know what you think... :)**

 **Playing with fire can be searched under Erica Marselas on Amazon (I'm lucky and the only one with that name…anywhere) This is the addy changing dots to. And taking out the spaces. www dot amazon dot com / Erica -Marselas /e/ B077M8DCFR/  
**

 **Also you can follow me on wordpress... ericamarselas dot wordpress and find my author page on FB under Erica Marselas or join Diamond's are a girl's best friend...**

 **Thank you to everyone for the amazing support along the way to publish and just with writing FF - I've written over 30 stories in a year and a half.. andit's because of you guys that keeps me going :)**


	7. Flashback- broken hearted

**I told you this one would be a long one... Now we get to find out what happen to the pair. Lot's of new information here. I promise to have 8 up within a week, but know with the holidays (4 kids excited kids about Santa) and being in the middle of editing Watching You, I might not be back till the New Year. Don't kill me...**

 **All mistakes are mine. (my grammarly was acting a fool and no one has time for that)**

 **Flashback—3 years ago**!

Christian and I are home for Winter break. We spent four days with my dad in Portland, having an early Christmas with him, before he went with a couple friends on a holiday ice fishing trip. I miss him and wish he would've have joined us for Christmas day, but he's been looking forward to this trip all year. If he's happy, then I'm happy. Today we are having dinner with the Grey's and will be spending the rest of our break here. The only problem with that is that as soon as I walked into the house I felt the temperature change. Something isn't sitting well with me right now. The house that usually makes me feel warm and loved now feels cold, making me feel strangely out of place.

It's not only the house giving off the cold – negative vibes, Christian has been acting off lately. One day he was working overtime trying to start his company, it was all he could talk about, and now - that motivation seems none existent.

We had a talk a little while back and I told him I didn't think there could be any possible way to move back to Seattle before I finished my MBA. The colleges in Washington don't really serve my needs to what I want to accomplish, and I have done so much at Harvard already that I feel as though I'm throwing away my hard work. I mean Harvard to State college? I know we could survive the time apart if we needed to. I want nothing more then for him to be great and start this business he's been working on since the second I met him. There are days I think about just going with him to wherever, but my dad would also kill me after all the money he has spent on my Harvard education.

I keep trying to talk to him more about it, to get a better understanding, or try to figure out what his next move is and all he does is shut me down. I have no idea what he's thinking, and I hate it.

It's the Christian Grey way, when he doesn't get his way.

Though now as we sit around the table for Christmas Eve dinner, the air is tense. I feel as though I'm on trial. Elliot and Elena are giving me death glares. To them I'm vermin and I haven't figured out why. Elliot was nice to me once, the first time I met him, after that he suddenly hated me. I 've only met Elena twice, briefly, and she always snubbed me like I was gum under her shoe. I have yet to understand her place with this family.

"What do you mean you're not starting GEH right now, Christian?" Elena sounds appalled. This is all she's been hammering about for ten minutes. Grace and Carrick have left the table for a moment to handle something with their housekeeper or I'm sure this conversation would have been saved for later. Mia is sitting, picking at her mashed potatoes watching the back and forth.

"It's not that big of deal, right now. I can do a hundred of other things." Christian says, not looking up from his food.

"Bro, you always dreamed of starting your own business you have that chance to do it now. You got four companies lined up talking about wanting to work with you. Two months ago, this was what you wanted. You got the loan now. Why wouldn't you go for it?"

A loan? He never told me he got a loan.

"Because I can't leave Harvard right now. I can start it anytime. And maybe my dreams have changed." He looks over at me and smiles, but I can tell it's slightly forced.

"Christian?" I'm baffled. Changed? And when was he going to tell me of this change? Hell, when was he going to tell me about this loan?

"It's fine." He blows it off. I know it's anything, but fine. This is his dream. How is he turning this all down? And I know my answer is because of me. I know this man loves me, but there's no way I would stop him from living his dreams.

"You're making a mistake bro," Elliot glares at me. I roll my eyes at him, it's not like I made him do this.

"Just drop it, Elliot. I don't see why it matters to you. It's my life."

"But he does have a point, Christian." Elena chimes in and I roll my eyes once more. What the hell gives her the right to butt in and why are we talking about this at the dinner table?

"Why don't you guys talk about this later?" Mia says being the voice of reason. Everyone goes quiet and returns to eating their food. Although, I've lost my appetite.

I excuse myself to the bathroom to go clear my head. I don't make it far before Elena stops me. This woman gives me the strangest vibes and she's always calling him. Christian doesn't explain anything about her, except she's a close family friend that helped him out of trouble once. She's thirty-eight and not a bad looking woman, but there's something evil about her.

"He will end up hating you if you hold him back from his company." She starts off, her beady eyes staring me down.

"Well, I'm not holding him back. You don't need to worry about it."

"I do worry about it. Unlike you I care for Christian. You have him so wrapped around your finger that be can't seem to think he can function without you. Though I can't help but find it odd, since I personally know that you can't be satisfying his needs. I don't know what spell you put on him, but it will wear off as soon as he sees you're holding him back from his potential. If you want what's best for him, let him go." She crosses her arms across her chest and causes her breast to lift practicality to her chin.

"How could you possibly know what's good for him? I love Christian and I'm not holding him back, but I can't stop him if he's made up his mind on what he wants."

She evilly chuckles at me, "I'm guessing he hasn't told you about us. What a shame. Shows how much control I have over him still. He'll start seeing very soon what a mistake you are. He trusts me fully."

"What the hell are you going on about?" I spit out.

"Christian and I used to be an item." I blench at the thought.

Christian and _her?_ I think I'm going to be fucking sick. She's so... Old. I've been with Christian for over two years, surly he would've told me about this. No, it can't true… I knew he wasn't a virgin, neither was I, but this…he should've told me that he was fucking Mrs. Robinson at one point.

"You're lying."

"Hardly. You see when he was seventeen he came over to my house to work for me. He was such a good-looking boy, and a boy like that shouldn't be a virgin. I knew all about his touch issues. Gave him a way to _release_ himself. It didn't last long between us, because I knew he was a natural Dom, but I sure had fun and I know he did. You see I taught him this special lifestyle, where he can be in control, and not have to worry about feelings, or tramps holding him back from his dreams. He fucked many of woman before you darling, ones that I introduced to him, he trusts my taste, expect when it comes to you." She spits. "When I finally convince him to move back home and trust me I will, I'll have plenty of girls lined up for him. I'm very disappointed in him for not seeing that you're keep him from his ability to not only be a wonderful dominant, but a success in business."

"It doesn't matter what he did in the past. It's what we have now. And I don't understand why you are so proud of fucking an underage boy. I bet Grace would love to hear it."

"He was seventeen darling. Old enough to make his own decisions. I know my Christian will lie and say he was eighteen. Plus it's been over three years, sooo… can't report me." she waves her hand around unashamed. "I'm sure Carrick will understand his boy fucking the hot older lady." She winks. My stomach rolls and I swear I'm about to hurl all over her designer heels.

"That's gross, Elena. I'm glad you're so proud of it. But no matter what he did, doesn't change how I feel for him, he doesn't do it now… but I feel like I should clean my cooch out since his dick touched yours. Good thing I had him checked first."

I turn around wanting to get the hell out of here. I feel as if everything around me is about to crumble.

"He didn't tell you that I gave him the loan, did he?" She cackles.

I spin back around, "excuse me?"

"Oh yes, someone had to support that boy. His parents weren't going to do it. You weren't going to do it. I gave him the loan hoping he will do something, but here you are holding him back. He'll see that soon, don't you worry."

"You fucking bitch…" I growl.

"Such a mouth on you little one. Maybe I should teach you manners like I did Christian. Whip you till you obey. I'm sure Christian would thank me later, make you a perfect Sub. I know he's missing the hard core stuff. I hear it in his voice when I talk to him every week."

I turn green-er. I knew they talked once in awhile but not every week. I don't even care at this point if she wasn't an ex, you don't talk to a woman once a week and hide that information from your girlfriend.

"I know what you're thinking. I had to keep tabs on my pet. He seems to be doing good in college, besides this stupid girl in his way." She glares at me. "The boy needs me, not you. I'm the one that makes him better, and can provided everything he needs. You wait and see."

I clench my fist to my sides. I'm boiling mad and want to cry all at the same time. Why didn't he tell me about her? Why did he hide his past from me and also think it would be okay to flaunt this woman that he's had sex with in front of me?

 _And he motherfucking still talks to her._

I shake my head and I won't let this vile woman win. I can't. I'm just going to have to find a way for Christian to tell me. He'll tell me if I ask.

 _Wouldn't he?_

"He's doing better because of me. And I do support him. I want everything for him." I say firmly, forcing out the determination in my voice, even though it's fake, before turning and walking away.

As I walk back to the dining area and everyone seems to have cleared out. I notice outside Christian talking to his dad and only wonder if he's telling Christian too about his mistake to stay with me as well.

I can hear Grace and Mia in the kitchen and Gretchen is picking up the dishes from our meal. I stand in the middle of the floor at a loss. I know Elena is on her way back from the devil chambers and I need to get some air to calm down. I move towards the kitchen when someone grabs me roughly by my elbow.

"You're going to fucking ruin him." Elliot hisses in my ear.

"What are you talking about? And why do you care?" I hiss back and try to get out of his hold. Why have I become this sacrificial lamb? I know Elliot's always disliked me, but not to this extent.

"I care because he's my brother. I want what's best for him and you're taking that away. We've always had plans to be great together and you're destroy that. I don't get what's so magical about your damn pussy but trust me it's replaceable."

"Whatever." I try to wiggle my elbow out of his hold. "I don't understand why you hate me? I've never done anything to you Elliot. But I love your brother."

"Love? Bitch you don't know what love is, you're nothing but a two-bit whore. I know your fucking around on him."

 _What the fuck is he talking about?_

"If you don't dump him by the end of the year you'll regret it. Understand?" He threatens. The evilness of his words runs cold through my veins. I don't know if I should be fearful or laugh.

"And don't think about telling Christian about our little chat. You know he will never believe you and he will pick and believe me over you. Just like last spring when you thought I was being an asshole?"

I grind my teeth. I told Christian last April I didn't think Elliot liked me. Well, Christian talked to him and came back to me to tell me it was just a misunderstanding. I let it go because it's not like I had to deal with him on a daily basis and I get that he's going to trust his brother's words if he said there was nothing wrong.

"Just leave me alone, Elliot."

"I will, once you fuck off…" He releases my arm violently make me fall forward and storms away.

* * *

I tried my best to ignore what Elena and Elliot told me, but it keeps ringing in my ears. Is the man that's wrapped around me like a vain, really someone dark dominant that enjoys beating woman for pleasure? I somewhat understand the lifestyle Elena told me Christian was involved in. I know he's not doing anything that these girls wouldn't want, but it's still hard to picture the man that I've loved for over two years has this other side to him. The most he has done to me is spank me.

Maybe he's ashamed. Maybe he does still do it? No, I quickly get rid of that idea, but I know soon I'm going to have to bring this up to him.

It's Christmas morning and I'm going to do my best to get through the day without thinking about it. I want to enjoy the day. It's his past and it can't be something that breaks us. I just need him to tell me. Help me understand all this information and explain his affair with Elena.

Christian hums as he wakes up and nuzzles his head into my neck. His hand grabs my ass and he pushes himself into me. When I stiffen his head pops up to stare at me. "What's wrong?" He asks, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Nothing." I lie. "Merry Christmas." I kiss him lightly on the lips.

"Merry Christmas." His hands move from my ass and in between my legs. "Mmmm… Merry Christmas indeed." He inserts a finger in me, then another. I do my best to shut out the thoughts that are echoing around in my head. No matter what, I still love this man. I do want him and maybe it's the only way to ease this ache in my heart.

His lips crash to mine and I'm lost, trying to enjoy the love that only we can share with one another.

An hour later I hear my phone buzz and Christian and I are still curled around each other. "I love you, Ace. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I love you too." I whisper, not looking up at him.

"Then what's wrong? You're off today, actually since yesterday."

"It's nothing. I swear." I lie again. I don't want to ruin today. It's Christmas and the last thing I want is a fight. Even if it eats me up inside.

"Don't lie to me Ana. If something is wrong, you need to tell me."

 _Right back at you, Christian._

"I'm just thinking about the conversation last night about you staying at Harvard." I offer an excuse of something wrong, even though it's an issue. Just not the issue that's making my stomach twist.

"Don't worry about that." He dismisses.

"Kind of hard not to. I don't want you to throw anything away for me. You know that right? Why wouldn't you tell me you got the loan?"

"Ana… I can start at any time. I have the money and when I'm ready, I can start. I don't even have a business to take over yet. I can finish school. Then while you get your MBA I can work on it. No big deal." He brushes my hair out of my face and kisses my forehead.

I brace myself for that fact that he's still not forth coming on who gave him the loan. But I shake it off.

 _No fighting on Christmas._

 _No fighting on Christmas._

"Okay," I mumble.

We don't say anything more and I let Christian to hold me in his arms for just a little while longer trying to enjoy our time like there's nothing wrong. But it's impossible and I'm giving myself a headache due to my cluttered mind.

Eventually Christian goes down stairs to help his mom set up for the day and I go to the bathroom to take a shower. I grab my phone for some holiday music to try and put myself in the Christmas mood.

I notice a new e-mail and I open it up.

I wish I hadn't.

Picture after Picture of Christian naked with other women. Some are him having sex and some are him holding things I've never seen before.

I know it's him. The left mole on his center back is there, the way his muscles contract. I know his body well.

The tears pour down my face.

I know these were before me. I know he hasn't cheated on me. I trust him that much, but why didn't he ever tell me about this life? His past? Does he really think I would judge him if he would have just opened up? We could have maybe avoided this and me having to look at this because I could've told Elena to fuck off. Thing is now I know she's really not lying.

I swipe through the final picture and send my phone flying.

The final image now scarred in my brain of Christian's face looking positivity satisfied as some girl suck him off.

I turn on the shower. I need to drown out my sobs. My body racks of them. No one should ever have to see the person they love with another woman. Even if it's in the past it hurts so bad. My heart feels as though it's been ripped out of my chest.

I somehow clean myself up and make my way downstairs. Everyone is gathered around the tree already. They all turn to me – some faces smiling at me – the others glaring. I can't run away now and I move to sit next to Christian who takes my hand, giving it a kiss.

I put on my best smile as Grace starts to hand out presents.

I can't even enjoy the diamond pendent necklace Christian gave me when Elena hands Christian a gift, that makes him forget all about the brown leather briefcase I got him.

"You're giving me a company?" He looks at the pile of papers in awe.

"Of course, I am. You need that little boost to get started on top of the loan. You should be able to dismantle and sell it as you please. I bought it and put it in your name. It's yours darling, all that hard work you've been putting in to jump start. Do whatever you want with it."

"Wow. Thank you, Elena." Christian turns to me with a giant smile on his face. I do my best to smile back at him, but it falls short. It's another stab to my already broken heart. His face falls and now I know I wasn't ecstatic enough for him.

"This will be great I can play around with this till I really start. A practice." He tells me, only me, but still everyone heard it.

"Christian…" I whisper and I feel everyone's eyes on me. Especially Elena and Elliot's.

"You need to move fast Christian. Once you start breaking the company down you have to keep going. Get your name out there, so people know who you are. This will also get you enough to pursue those other companies after you. You can't hold to this Christian." Elena pipes in and my stomach is all in knots.

"She does have a point son." Carrick throws in, "but if you think you can finish college and this, I say go for it. I think you could do both." He encourages.

"Yeah, I mean you should go for it. This is great." I try to reassure him, but it's so hard when my stomach has now made up residence in my throat.

It would be great if it didn't come from the she-witch and with some dark sick past behind it. The pictures flood my mind and I rush to stand up and scurry out of the room to the bathroom, losing the contents from my stomach.

I wash my mouth out and try to swallow down the rest of my impending nausea. When I walk out of the bathroom, Mia is standing there and I only wonder if she's come to give me a hard time much like her older brother yesterday.

"Are you okay?" She asks concerned and opens her arms for me.

I shake my head and walk into her open arms. I need someone that's not involved in this whole mess. I miss my mom and I wish my dad could be here.

"What's going on?"

"It's just… I don't want everyone to think I'm stopping him. I'm not. I want everything for him. I'm not asking him to stay in Boston with me. Yes, sure I don't really want him to go. He's been my rock, I love him, but I want him to have everything.. It's just…" I sigh, not sure if I should continue. I love Mia, she's been like a sister to me, but I know this family is close with Elena.

"Elena is being a bitch." She snaps and it surprises me. "Let's just say I never liked her. I have this odd feeling about her. Mom and Dad know that you're not holding him back. They want him to finish Harvard. Screw what everyone else says."

"I know." I agree, "it's just been a rough week. It'll be okay." I tell her, trying to calm my shaking body down.

"You know I'm here for you."

"Thank you, Mia." She pulls me into a tighter hug.

As much as this is helping, there's only one person's arms I want to be in and I'm surprised and disappointed he's not here.

"Let's get back, okay?" I nod. "I'll get you some tea."

I walk back to the living room, and Mia head towards the kitchen. When I enter the room, I'm sick all over again by what I see. Elena and Christian are talking in the corner. She's touching his arm and I hate that this vile bitch is touching him. Christian must know I'm back in the room because his eyes meet mine. I instantly turn away from him and go sit on the couch, playing with the torn wrapping paper.

Elliot slides next to me, putting an arm around my shoulder. "You don't listen well. I heard your morning activities. Didn't sound like you were pushing away from him. When will you learn?"

"Maybe never." I mutter. I scoot over away from him.

Just leave me alone.

"Don't worry, Elena is making sure my dear brother is on the right track." He claps his legs and stands up, moving to go to talk to his mother and grandfather.

It's Christmas.

It's Christmas.

No fighting on Christmas.

I recite the mantra in my head over and over again. I just want to get back to Boston. Everything was happy and rainbows in Boston.

Mia brings me the tea and sits next to me, trying to liven up the atmosphere by telling me funny stories about her botched date with some football player. The whole twenty minutes she's talking I can't take my eyes off Christian and Elena. What the fuck are they saying to each other and with every passing second, I stew, letting it eat me up inside.

Finally, Christian walks away from Elena, but not before she gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Great now he's going to have to burn his skin off before I touch that cheek again.

"I'll let you guys, talk." Mia says and pats my shoulder.

No don't go…. I want to beg her to stay, be a peacekeeper, but she's already getting up and moving away.

He comes and sits down next to me and takes my hand. I freeze and move out of his grip. I don't want him touching me.

"I saw you and my brother getting along." He mumbles

"Sure." I snap and he sighs.

"What's wrong? Elliot said he was trying, but you keep blowing him off."

I roll my eyes and I don't even try to address that. I don't give a fuck about Elliot, I want to know what kind of shit Elena was feeding him. Were they talking about his past? Was she trying to remind him of how good it was? Because according to the pictures I would say it was for him. Maybe he does really miss it. I mean that just doesn't go away.

"What were you and Elena talking about for so long?" I ask trying to keep the anger from my question, but it's impossible. I'm fuming.

"The company she bought for me. Filling me in on everything, my next steps." He says bluntly. "What's wrong?"

"She couldn't send you an email?" I ask sarcastically.

"I guess, but she's here and you disappeared. Thought why not, a good enough time to talk, get the ideas following. I have a lot to do being in Boston. I need to be on my toes. Do you not want me to know what I'm getting into or something?" He asks annoyed.

"I didn't say that. Maybe you should just move back here if it's going to be easier. I know it's what you want." I say softly, playing with the fake lint on my dress.

"I want to be with you, Ana. I don't get why you don't understand that." He argues. The same thing he always tells me when I say he should go and be with him later.

"I didn't say that. I want to be with you too, but I want you to have GEH as well. I'll always be here, but you have to let me in and tell me what you truly want. We can work around anything."

"Ana. I don't want to do this right now." He blows me off, staring out at the Christmas tree.

"Fine. Forget it." I snap.

I watch him tense and bite the corner of his mouth.

"Fine." He stands up and moves towards his mother, brother and grandfather.

 _Two days later and we arrive back in Boston. I had hoped to be celebrating a new year with Christian. That we would be able to get past it all, but as soon as we entered our home, it exploded to the end._

"Why can't you just drop it Ana? I told you what I want to do. I have plenty of options in the future." He tells me. We've been going back and forth for hours about him starting his company and he keeps pushing away from it. Telling me it doesn't matter. I don't understand why he doesn't feel like he can be honest with me. I know this is everything he wants and all he has to do is tell me and we can work on us and make a plan for us to keep our relationship going.

All he's doing now is pissing me off by denying it. I can see it in his body language. Especially ever since Elena gave him that damn company. The air shifted around us. Anytime anybody said anything about Boston or the business he would close off. He started to drift from me, but it didn't help that I was already blown away.

"Tell me, honestly, that your own business is not what you want?"

"It is." He yells and starts to pace. "Maybe more than anything in my life. But I want you, too. I want to share it with you. And you told me you wouldn't leave Massachusetts till you were done."

"So what? That means you can't go and live your own dreams too? You can have both if you really wanted Christian. I'll be there when I can. But if you don't try, you'll end up hating me." I tell him, trying to be as calm as possible, but everything in my body hurts. I've been trampled by pictures and words for days and I'm holding on to a tattered string.

"There's no way we could survive being apart for a year till you finished your masters. I couldn't survive."

"I'm sure you would survive just fine with a sub or two between your legs." I say bitterly, but instantly regret it. I've been holding onto that for days. I wasn't going to say anything. Hoping maybe one day he would tell me. But every time I close my eyes I see it. I think about it and the fact that he still lets Elena in his life, after the things she did to him, makes my skin crawl. All those phone calls over the last two years, where he never told me he was talking to an ex, _of sorts_. Then there's the fact that she gave him the loan, which he still hasn't told me how that came about. Then her handing him a company in his name for Christmas. On top of everything else, Elliot's threats and hate for me. I guess it was only about time before I snapped.

Christian tenses and pales, "what are you talking about?"

"I know what you used to do or used to be. I want to know why you didn't tell me that Elena basically raped you and that you fucked countless of women while you whipped them?"

His eyes go wide and looks like a deer about to be hit by a semi.

"I have no idea what you're talking about?" He whispers and tugs on his hair. He can't get around this unless he tells me, pictures and videos say a thousand words.

"This isn't the time to lie to me, Christian. Tell me about your time before me." I'm trying to urge him to be honest with me. He just needs to talk to me...help me understand. Heal this pain I have in my heart.

"Are you kidding me, right now? There's nothing to tell and I don't like that you don't believe me."

"I have proof. What I don't get is why you won't just tell me. Be honest with me." I beg him.

 _Why is he hiding this from me, why isn't he trusting me enough?_

He shakes his head, "I don't believe this. And what proof do you have?"

"What proof don't I have?" I sass him. I move to my computer and open up the e-mail Elena sent me. All the pictures of Christian as a Dominant. His contracts that he had with two of the girls. I turn my computer to him, and he doesn't even look at it.

"Why are you changing the subject?" He walks away and goes to grab a bottle of whiskey.

"I'm changing the subject? You're the one who is deflecting. Why can't you just admit it to me. Why are you hiding. _Why_ are you afraid to admit that you fucked Elena...what is it?"

"Why can't you admit that we can't survive without each other?"

I feel as though I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and he's still not hearing me. Why is he denying this so hard?

"I think I might, if you keep hiding and lying to me. But fine, putting that aside for the moment, if you want to go to Seattle and get started I support that, because I do support you. You have a huge opportunity to do something and if you stay here you'll regret it. I want you to be great Christian, but you can't do that in Boston. I love you enough to let you go be great. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the one you love."

"Sounds like your ending it all, Ana." He says bluntly. "If I go to Seattle that's the end of us. I won't have time to visit. I don't see you coming to me…"

Wow, Christian, give up so easily.

Tears well up in my eyes. How could he say that? He's not even willing to try all because I want him to go succeed. Why am I being the bad guy in this? We could survive if he would try and stop fucking lying to me.

I wipe the tears from my face. I'm about to be a puzzle broken up into a thousand pieces, stored away for years, with one single piece missing forever, never to be found again.

"You know that's not true and if you wanted to, we could work something out. But right now, I don't want to because I know you're lying to me."

"Oh, for fuck sakes, Ana. Drop it, you know everything about me." He tosses back and a shot and refills his glass.

"I know NOTHING!" I yell and he freezes. "Were you ever going to tell me about how Elena gave you the loan, or why she calls you all the time? I'm sure she calls to see if your satisfied right? I need you to be honest now, Christian. If you want us bad enough, you will tell me."

He doesn't say anything and he throws back another shot. If he can't admit it to me, be open with me, then we have nothing. I don't need the dirty details, but he could confess what I know is right.

"Your silence says everything. You know maybe I shouldn't let you to go back to Seattle, throwing you back in the arms of the sea witch. I mean she's dangling carrots in front of you, that way you never leave her side. I really shouldn't let you take her bait."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Ana, she's just a family friend, someone who actually believes I can do something great." He spits at me. The anger pouring out of his grey orbs.

His words are like a knife twisting in my chest. I will myself not to cry even harder at the pain he just inflicted on me.

He doesn't think I have that belief in him? After everything I've done for him? All the times I've pushed him to try and make deals, talk to his parents about a loan, telling him everyday how great an idea GEH is? Seconds ago, he was willing to stay with me and now… Now I know it's because the pictures are one hundred percent real. He's angry and closing down. A sign for when he's 'done something wrong. A true sign that he doesn't trust me.

Now I have my answer on what to do. If he really thinks this way, even in his anger, I have to set him free. I won't be the one responsible for him not being great.

"Wow, and you don't think I feel that way about you. That's cheap, Christian. You know for a smart boy, you're delusional."

I'm no longer able to keep my deep sobs at bay. "I want you to go to Seattle. Go be great, Christian, because obviously you don't think I support you."

He storms out of the room without a word and slams our bedroom door. Putting the official nail in our coffin.

We didn't talk for the for the rest of the day. He was packing and I let him. I hated it so much and started to wonder if it wasn't true. I wanted him to tell me it wasn't true, he couldn't even do that. The next day he was leaving. I tried to beg him to stay so we can talk asking him to tell me because I really didn't want him to go.

We shared one final kiss and then he was gone.

 **END FLASHBACK**

* * *

A hand on my shoulder brings me back from the painful memories. I look up into a pair of worried grey eyes. "You're still here." He says, pushing my hair back behind my hair.

"I'm sorry for walking in on you, I shouldn't have…" I mumble.

"It's fine," a small smile crosses his face, "especially after you kissed me. You don't know how long I've been dying to kiss you again. I just wish you didn't run out."

"Christian you have someone else…" he stops me by putting his fingers to my lips.

"I don't have anyone. I should've told you, but I made Haley leave that day after you saw her. I wanted to get rid of her the second I knew you were coming back, but you showed up with a boyfriend and I felt… defeated. If you couldn't tell by what happened earlier, you know how much I want you Ana." He pleads. "I know you feel the same way. I see it in your eyes and how you act with me. We never lost our love with each other."

He doesn't even give me a chance to reply before he's crashing his lips to mine. I encircle my arms around his neck and absorb the tenderness he's giving me. He back away slightly and his eyes dance with mine, "Let's start over again. You know everything we had was perfect, till those last moments. We can have all that again. Dump the dickless boy, come back to me Ana."

My heart is hammering in my chest. I want to scream yes. There's nothing more than I want.

"I-" I'm cut off by Taylor clearing his throat.

We both look over at him. He's stoic as he looks between us. "Ms. Lincoln is on her way up, sir." He announces and I quickly move out of his arms.

"Fuck," he mutters. "How?" He questions angrily at Taylor.

I scoff. I don't care what show he's trying to pull off right now. I smack him in the arm, I'm fuming. His attention turns away from Taylor who is trying to say something.

"Elena?" I yell. "You still talk and see Elena?"

* * *

 **Uh-oh**

 **A/N: This chapter was really hard to write… ugh…and it's still not perfect. Sorry if I repeated a lot…this is one of the first chapters I wrote and been back and forth on it... anyways… Recap a little- Christian did confess to her months later what really happened. So she does know everything that happened in his past.. etc. (that's when she decided they could only be friends, because she was suffering from her own break down. So they have built a friendship past this point) Also CG knows what happened with Elena and Elliot... it was mentioned a few times in small hints in the chpaters before But they will talk more next chapter...:) Also there's another person against their relationship that nobody guessed.. hehehehe... But honesty for ? - I'm going to keep you guessing a while longer… :)**


	8. Theres so much to say

**Chapter 8**

 **A/N:(update 12/13-) To my guest reviewer! To whom I've seen to upset into a heart attack situation... It's okay.. I'm gonna keep writing no matter how many messages you send me...:) You were the only one confused by the A/N it seems... It's my story... Everyone else ... enjoy... but if you don't like it like miss guest reviewer it's okay just don't read:)**

 **As said before in my previous A/N CG has confessed everything about his past to Ana 2 months after they broke up... He knows about Elena and Elliot.. yes he went back to Elena(for subs not a relationship) but hey what the hell did he have to lose when he thought he was only going to be friends with Ana. Also, people do crazy shit when there depressed and you learn a little more of his why a long the way... YEs, I know he didn't try hard, but you find out more to why along the way to why he gave up... There flawed just the way I wanted them when it came to their feelings but guess what they're learning.**

 **8k and not a single scene break in sight...**

* * *

"She's a family _friend?_ " he shrugs, questioning the word, and scratches the back of his neck. I'm glad to hear some doubt in his voice over his choice of words.

"A friend that raped and beat you… some friend." I snort.

"I've told you all this Ana, I was old enough to know what I wanted at the time. I was a teenage boy that didn't like to be touched, and uncontrollably angry. She showed me a way that I could and master my need of always having to be in control. I know that the relationship wasn't right, I was ashamed by it, but it helped for the time being and I can't change it now. When I met you, I changed. You could touch me and I fell in love with you. I gave it up and wanted to believe it never happened because I quickly realized it was you I needed to make me better."

"But you lied to me about it when you should've come forward about it." I choke and I hate that even after all these years it still bothers me. I should be over it, he confessed everything, but it was the wound that killed us, for good. "And you didn't give it up because you crawled right back into doing it again. How long was it before you went to find someone? A week? A month, maybe? I would have ended up never being good enough for you. You would've needed that power exchange." I shake my head.

"That's bullshit. I needed you and I dived back into because I didn't have you. I didn't want to love again. Because the last time I fell in love I ended up shattered. Unlike you who seemed to being having a ball with some douchenozzle."

I laugh, "but I didn't go looking for every dick in town, unlike you who got all the wet pussy he wanted. Let me guess, Elena, hooked you up, just like she did before me. Maybe if it wasn't for her and your brother meddling we would still be together. You know for a fact it was Elena that showed me the pictures, she wanted us to break up, by throwing you under the bus, but you figure since I was gone, it was okay to still be friends with her? After everything, you finally confessed to me?"

"I know what she did, Ana. I told you that I knew. I told her off and didn't talk to her for a long while, many months after you told me we could only be friends. When we were together I was in denial because all I wanted to do was forget about it and pretend it didn't happen. After we broke up, I was miserable, I lost you forever, even after confessing. I went back cause saw it as a way to gain some control. I needed the control because I was slipping. You weren't the only one that felt lost and alone. The only place I knew to get that was through the lifestyle. I ran into Elena at a club, and yeah, figured I at least had someone that could understand me, and not bring your name up every time I saw them. I hated myself, so what else did I have to lose at that point. Actually, I can't really call her a friend but as I said I was desperate for some kind of peace. I tried everything to start my life again, but I never could, because you broke me." he snaps the last part.

I take a step back. "I broke you? If you didn't lie to me and if you had just told me the truth instead of denying it, it would have helped save us. I would have trusted you and trusted the relationship to make it through the storm. We could have tried harder to work at the distance if you let me. But you lied, , and ended back in the arms of your _"prestigious Elena_ " just like she wanted. I mean I guess you owe it her right, because she gave you the money to start GEH? Or maybe you just happen to like fucking her wrinkled pussy."

"Stop it, Ana." He yells as he tugs hard on his hair.

"No, because you're blaming me for breaking you. Because if anyone caused you to break it was her." I yell.

Years of pent-up aggression, hurt, anger is now being blasted all out at once. We never faced any of this in person after the breakup. Once he told me everything I did my best to lay it to rest and not care, tried to build a friendship without the past getting in the way. It was easy to get along without the hurt getting in the way, now it's being all laid out for us to finally bare.

Heels on the marble floor stop our fight. Christian turns green and when I turn around I know why. In walks Elena, looking like a million bucks, but following behind her is some brunette with her head down.

Just as I thought, she hand delivers girls to him.

I turn back to Christian, "what do you know, Master is about to be personally delivered his own slut from the devil in the making. Have fun… and oh…" I walk closer to him so I'm in his face. "Maybe it's a good thing you did break first because I have a feeling you would have eventually destroyed me if I stayed."

I start to turn away and Christian grabs my arm, pulling me back. "Elena, you know you're not welcomed here. I need you to leave. Now." He growls out and pulls me to his study. I can hear Elena calling after him, but he ignores it as he practically throws me into the room and closes the door.

"There's no way I would have destroyed your life. I would have married you, loved you, and took care of you forever if you had let me." He tells me firmly.

I start to laugh, "you mean to have a marriage built on lies? Would you have ever told me the truth if I just rolled over and was like, okay honey, I believe those pictures aren't you thrusting into some bimbo or holding a whip? If I believed nothing was wrong with your buddy relationship with Elena, that everything is sunshine and rainbows till the minute you cheat on me with some sub, because I sat around believing you were never lying to me. Never knew about this other part of you. And if I remember correctly you didn't even have hope we could make it if we were apart. We were always doomed then, Christian. Sorry to tell you."

He takes a deep shaky breath and closes his eyes tightly. "If we had gotten married I would NEVER cheat on you. I'll make that fucking clear now. And I know I would've told you everything if we did. But you're right, I ruined everything by not being honest, and it wouldn't have been fair to you if you stayed naive till I did." He opens back up his eyes, his grey orbs glassy, as he stares into me.

"I just didn't know what else to do then and I made the biggest mistake of my life by not telling you. You already hated me by that point anyways. You didn't touch me for two days after you saw those pictures. You looked at me like I was a disgusting monster and once I figured out why, I knew there was no way you could forget. Yes, I wanted to pretend they weren't real, I wanted you to tell me you could still love me, but at the same time, I knew it was over because how could you unsee that, how could you love me still? I didn't deserve you."

"That wasn't just your choice to make…you didn't even try."

"I know that." He croaks. "I was ashamed, embarrassed, and I couldn't see past anything else but you hating me at that point. I hated me more than you ever could though. I've told you this. It took me time to see what a mistake I made, what an idiot I was for walking out. Took me even longer to work up the courage to call you. Then when I called you, crying, begging because I wanted you back, how sorry I was for not just admitting it all to you. That I knew I made a mistake not being honest with you. I laid everything out to you, and you could only come back as _we can be friends_. It killed me, because I thought I lost you forever." He shakes his head making his curls bounce, I'm sure wiling himself not to cry. "I'm sorry, so fucking sorry I didn't tell you right away." He finally gasps out." There's not a day that goes by I wish I could go back and change it. I became depressed and figured nothing mattered anymore when I started talking to Elena again, why the fuck did anything matter."

"I'm sorry to tell you, you were already in that bitches arms when she bought you that company and gave you a loan. How many times did you tell me _"She's my friend_." I mimic him. "She had you right where she wanted you with the money and the companies she was giving you. You might have told her off, but she knew it would be a matter of time before she could lure you back in. And even after you confessed, it was too late for me. Days I could forgive, but months, Christian. And if you think for one second my heart didn't hurt when you packed your stuff and left, you're lying to yourself. If you remember I did try to stop you, but you kept going. You didn't care enough to tell me to try and save us then by telling me the truth and that to me said everything." I cry. Huge tears run down my face. Every memory being drugged back up and my heart hurts all over again.

"Ana… I'm sorry...I'm so fucking sorry." He puts his arms around me, but I quickly pull away from him.

"No...I can't. There's no chance for us if she's hanging around. I wish I could go back in time and really just be naive and never know what you did. Because at first it didn't matter, but then the pictures, the gift, I knew that it was always going to be in my face. That you think that monster helped you when you're the only one that helped yourself." I sniff and wipe off my face. I can't do this right now. A moment ago, there was a chance for us, and now. "I need to go…"

"No, please. Don't go." He begs through his cracked voice, filled with unshed tears, grabbing my hand. "We can work this out. I'll do anything. I've already cut Elena off. She's been trying to call me for weeks and I knew I couldn't be involved with her anymore. It wasn't much, honestly. All she did was help me find girls because I couldn't go to clubs. I was going to tell you, I swear, and honestly, I thought maybe you already guessed when you saw Haley and knew what she was. I just wanted you to like me again like you used to, so maybe you wouldn't step back to hating me. I wanted to tell you how I felt, I wanted you to tell me in return you felt maybe the same. Then I would have bared everything out to you. But it was like every moment would get ruined, or I'd over think and think you would tell me no again. I didn't know how to handle it if you did." He shakes his head, tears slipping from his eyes, his entire body sagging. He's defeated. "Please I'll tell you everything you want to about the last three years, and before that. I need you, Ana."

"But I thought I broke you…"

"I didn't mean in that way. You had my heart and I didn't think I could ever get that back. I was broken because you were gone. I was broken because I ruined things, I was broken because all I thought I could only have you as a friend and never get you back. I'm broken because I keep fucking it all up." he sighs and pulls at his hair.

"You didn't try really hard either after you called me. You knew it would take more than just telling me everything. You didn't reach out for weeks after that and you kind of folded. Gave up." I shrug, "I was a mess too. But look at where you are...look at what you have succeeded at, you wouldn't have this if you stayed in Boston."

He shakes his head vigorously, "All this means nothing because I don't have you to share it with. Remember that old san, 'money doesn't buy happiness' it's very true. Those weeks that I didn't call you, was because I was in a drunken blur. I ended up crashing my car the day after our conversation, ending up with a concussion and a broken arm. I wasn't drunk then, nobody else was involved, but I hadn't slept maybe in days, I was an emotional wreck and maybe a part of me had hoped…" he pauses stopping his thoughts. I frown knowing what he was going to say. "Afterwards I locked myself in the penthouse and left Ros to run GEH for a while. It was Mia that finally convinced me to call you and maybe one-day being friends could lead us back together. Like I said I was always too fucking scared you'd say no again, and I still hated myself for being this person that broke your heart because I was a selfish idiot. I only started trying to be happy again, because you're here. Can't we put the past behind us, start over? I love you, I never stopped loving you."

"Christian the past was in your living room five minutes ago. If she's lurking around, I can't…"

"She's gone. I promise. I already paid her back the loan and then some. I don't need her, I need you. Talking to her again was a dumb mistake." He steps closer to me. His hand raises to touch my cheek. I close my eyes and absorb the feeling of his body touching mine. "Please, baby, believe me. I know you have every right not to trust me. I don't blame you, but I swear…I'll do whatever to gain that back" he begs again.

His nose touches mine and I feel his hot breath on my lips. I lean in and our lips gently touch. My body is on fire and I'm ready for him to throw me on the desk and fix this hurt to what used to be right.

Our past doesn't make our future and he's right I do want him. We were perfect before. I know of almost everything that happened when we broke up, the why, the who, the what. Looking into his eyes I can see his honestly. He's not trying to hide his mistakes through a dark mask, this is a man that would confess every step of the past three years if I asked him too. I do wish this man was around years ago, but he's here now.

I'm about to tell him I want to try with him when our moment is ruined once again. The door swings and bangs open. The overpowering of perfume fills the room, that it makes me choke. It's Elena.

I hear Christian's deep throaty growl as our heads swing to the unwelcome visitor.

"I don't like being stood up, Christian." Her annoying cocky voice echoes through the room.

Where's God with the lightning bolt when you need it.

"I told you to leave my house, Elena." he barks, "what gives you the right just to walk into my house uninvited?'"

I blush, when I recount how I just walked into his bedroom a while ago. No regrets there.

"I brought you a nice girl to meet and would it be my surprise you're running off with the girl that trampled all over your heart." she sneers at me. I move to launch myself at her, but Christian grabs me.

"You bitch." I hiss at her instead.

"And we all know that's your fault," Christian says firmly. "I need you to leave Elena. Did you not get the fucking clue when I stopped taking your calls and an email basically telling you I no longer wanted you around because talking to you was a mistake? I want you out and never come back."

"Oh, come on now, Christian, surely you can see you're making a mistake. You're crazy enough you let this… thing… as your COO, but now back in your bed. You know there's no way she could satisfy you, it was only a couple months ago you were telling me about Victoria and how she was the best hard fuck you had, met your every need, and you were sad to lose her." She coyly smirks at me. She's trying for me to take her damn bait. I won't take it, but it's still not an image or thought I want in my head.

I look over at Christian and he's stewing, steam about to come out of his ears. "What the fuck, Elena?" Christian roars. "I've never said a thing like that, nor fucking would I." He turns to look at me, "Ana, I never…"

I turn to look at Elena and she's still smirking, thinking she's going to win. I can't let her this time. She's a manipulative bitch and might be the best at making people believe her lies, but I've grown, learned a lot, and I can see right through her this time.

"I know, Christian. I know she's pushing me." I place my hand on his face and I can see some of the tension crumble from his face, but even with his anger, I can see his pain.

"What? You don't believe me." Elena puts her hand to her chest. "I have more pictures if you need the proof. Honey don't believe his lies, yesterday he begged me to bring over this young girl for him."

"You fucking cunt." Christian roars and storms over to Elena, grabbing her arm hard enough I think he's going to pull it out of the socket.

I've never seen Christian this mad or use that word before.

I don't think Elena has either because her eyes are bulging out her eyes by his anger. The heat coming from his body is volcanic. He's about to erupt like Mt. Saint Helens.

"You will leave my house and never fucking return here or to Grey House or my family's house. I don't want you anywhere near me. I let you ruin things before and stupidly let you back in, thinking what's the worse I could lose. Now here you are, when I'm trying to fix things up with the girl I love and never stopped loving, you're trying to fuck it up again. Why don't you want me fucking happy? You told me you were sorry for helping push her away and … **motherfucker.** " He screams, pushing Elena away like the plague she is, sending her flying across the room and landing on her ass.

She winces when she falls and she's trying hard to mask her fear and pain.

Christian pulls on his hair so hard I swear he's going to yank it all out in one pull. The weight of the world coming down on his shoulders. All his mistakes exploding at once in his face.

"I'm so stupid...again. I hate you, Elena." He bellows and charges towards her. He stops in front of her, his fist clenched at the side as he tries to control himself from really hurting her. "I let myself be blinded in my pain and you willingly took advantage of it. Making me believe you were sorry enough for what you did. Death would be to good for you, but I hope it lands on your fucking doorstep though. If I never see you again, I'll be more then happy and when you finally die, I'll be dancing on your fucking grave." He seethes, lifting her off the ground and pushes her out the door and yells for Taylor. I follow behind and watch the show.

Taylor comes charging over and takes Elena from Christian's hold. The girl Elena brought with her appears to be in shock. Bet she didn't know this what was going to happen when she arrived.

"Christian you can't do this," Elena screams out as Taylor drags her to the elevator. "What about Owen, Ana? Does he know of your little affair?"

I freeze. How the hell does she know his name?

I don't get a chance to ask before the elevator doors close on Elena and the plaything.

Bye Bitch.

If only...

"What if you just did that years ago?" I sigh and we walk back to his office. I'm ready to collapse.

"I don't know, but I did it now. I told you I went off on her before. She said she was wrong and maybe I should've seen she wasn't sincere. I think I believed that because it was easier. I'm sorry."

"I just don't get how a smart man like you could be so blind?" I take a deep breath and try to push it away. He's an idiot, but he's my idiot. I can understand being in that bad place and trying to find that one thing that might make the hurt go away. I had my vise and well, Christian had his, no matter how much it sucked…in my point of view.

He shakes his head. "I thought we weren't going to live in the past anymore."

"I never agreed to that," I say seriously, half joking.

"I think you were about to when we almost kissed." He moves to me and puts his hands on my shoulders. "We can start over."

"It just seemed too easy, Christian. You know she's not going to just go away. Then there's your family, especially Elliot." Bile rises in my stomach at his brother's name. He might not be as high up on my hate as Elena, but I hate him, and I really never wanted to see him again either. I doubt he's changed.

"My parents love you. You already know Mia misses you. They were heartbroken when we broke up and might be the only people that understood I didn't want to move on. Would you believe that it was my dad that put the idea in my head to ask you to be my COO?"

I shake my head at him. "Well, it was. And I'm glad I listened to him because I wanted you back so much. He knew that and figured it was the best way to get you in the same town as me again. As for Elliot, I still haven't figured out what his issue was, there's something so off about it and I can't figure out his purpose for it for wanting to threaten you back then. I wish I took it more serious back then. It took me a year before I really talked to him again. One day he asked me for help with his company and I told him when hell froze over. I knew that the reason he wanted me to start my company, so I would support him and he wouldn't have to earn it. Our relationship still isn't good. Nor do I think it ever will be. I couldn't even tell you the last time we talked or even seen him. But it doesn't matter now. If he wants to start shit again, I'll kick him out of my life just as easy as I did Elena. You're right I shouldn't have let her in my life, but I was tired of feeling all alone too. I can't change it now, if I could I would... Please, I'm begging you, Ace. I need you and I can't lose you again."

I can't help the smile that crosses my face when he calls me Ace. There's nothing more heart-stopping then when he calls me that. I want nothing more than to be his number one girl again, to have his heart.

"I missed you calling me that." I blush. He walks towards me and scoops me into his arms, planting a light kiss on my lips.

"Are you saying yes?"

I sigh, "yes." Before I can say more, he's kissing me so hard and aggressively it's making my head spin. His erection pokes into my belly and he pushes me up against the wall.

His lips travel down my cheek, down my neck, to the top of my cleavage. "God, I've missed the way you taste, it's even better than before." He grabs a handful of my ass, pulling me closer to him.

"Christian…" I pant.

"What baby?" He asks, his lips coming back to mine.

"We can't...we can't do this yet…" I grip his shoulders and push him away.

"Yes, we can baby…It's been so long. You just saw how good we were together." His eyes twinkle. "Don't you remember how good my cock felt in you."

"I do." I pant.

God do I.

"But we need some guidelines. Rules. I know you know all about rules."

He sighs and pushes back from me, "We don't need any fucking guidelines, Ana. We worked for two years without them." He snaps and crosses his arms.

"Watch the attitude, hotshot." I raise my eyebrow at him, throwing my nickname for him back at him. I see a small smile cross his face. "Yes, we were good for two years. But you kept things from me. We didn't talk or fight our way through things. We both gave up. I don't want that again. We need to try and be open with each other. We need… safe words..." I purse my lips together at the term, but it is the best way to say it.

"Alright. I'll bite, what would we need safe words for?"

"When things get out of control. When we bring up the past. Things that upset us. Just something that we know that the other one needs to listen. And even if we just need a minute to think so we don't bury it under angry sex."

He nods, "okay. I understand that. What would this safe word be?"

"Watermelon…" I blurt out randomly and giggle. "I don't know I haven't put much thought into it." I shrug.  
"We can do Watermelon… now what else?"

"Elena really needs to be out of your life. I know she's going to keep trying to meddle, but if you're honest with me about all the interactions she'll try to have. I know she won't go away without a fight, but I refuse her to have any claim in our relationship again."

"I know. I think the only reason she came today was because I've been ignoring her for weeks. She's not allowed in Grey House. She shouldn't have been allowed in here either and I will be talking to Taylor about how she got in the elevator. Trust me, I don't want her or need her."

"You really didn't know she was coming today?"

"No." He answers quickly. "I swear. I should've never brought her back into my life - knowing she caused so much shit. It was a mistake and I see it more now. If I thought there was any chance of you coming back I would have done something different. I guess you could say I was in a fuck it all mood. She led me to believe she was truly sorry. I didn't believe that, but it was just easier to keep trying to forget how much I hurt for losing you."

"I believe and understand that. Listen I just want us to talk more. We need to sit down and discuss things of our past. We're both still hurt over it. So I think it would be good for us to clear the air first. It's the only way we can have a chance of us working out." I move to grab his hand. He looks at our intertwined hands and back at me.

"I want more than anything to be open and forward with you, Ana. I'll do anything you need to trust me again, for me to prove myself to you that I won't lie to you again or just walk away. I love you, Ana. I need you and I promise to never hurt you again…"

"I want that too, Christian. Just one step at a time. It's all we can do right now." I move to kiss his cheek. His light stubble tickles my lips and I enjoy the feeling so much I do it again.

"When you came back did you think there might be a chance for us?" He blurts and I shake my head at his random question. I guess this falls into clearing the air.

"I don't know, Christian. I missed you, but I had no idea what to expect. You never made any attempt over the years to win me back, I didn't either…" I add, knowing I could've done something too, but didn't. "So, I didn't know, Christian. Maybe part of me hoped, but it sure didn't seem like you wanted to when I came over and you had that Sub here, it kind of told me everything. That we were just friends. But the last two weeks with you…"

The little touches, the looks, our conversations, it was almost like nothing changed.

"They've been amazing…" he adds for me.

"Yeah. I knew I was in trouble the first time I sat in your office again for that so-called interview. I hated in that moment that Owen had moved with me. Like cheesy as it is, it was like fireworks went off and I knew I was where I needed to be. Then I remembered all the hurt, that I had a boyfriend and I backed away. I know that day when I came over, that if you didn't have that Sub, we would have kissed and…" I sigh, "but I guess that all doesn't matter now."

He moves closer to me again and engulfs me in his arms, his hand sliding down my face. "You're right it doesn't matter. We've made mistakes. I don't want to do them anymore. Though I do have to ask what about Owen?"

I bite down on my lip and stare at him. I forgot that I didn't tell him about Owen. Not that he told me about him throwing his sub out.

We really do have to work on this communication thing.

He runs his thumb over my lip, unhooking my teeth, "don't do that. You know what it does to me."

I giggle, forgetting how such simple things I did could turn him on. He's not wearing any boxers under his sweatpants and I wiggle myself against his very erect dick, imagining every inch of him filling me.

"We broke up. After the ball. He knew I was having feelings for you and I couldn't lie. I didn't love him. I planned to break up with before I moved but then he wanted to come with me… and he wasn't a bad guy, so… I was going to tell you so maybe we could talk, maybe see if there was a chance for us, but you shut me out."

He bows his head, "fuck I'm sorry. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I saw you and all I could see was you with him. It made me really realize some of what you went through when Elena sent you those pictures. Him kissing and touching you was like a knife twisting in my heart and I deserved it. I just hated myself more and thought maybe you deserved better than me, that Owen wouldn't hurt you the way I did in the past. A past that has been made very clear that it doesn't want to go away. I love you so much, I just didn't know how to tell you everything or ask you."

"But this what I'm talking about, Christian. You have to talk to me instead of shutting me out. I knew you had feelings for me but you always ran hot and cold that I was never sure what was going on."

His lips twist together and he looks rather pensive. He backs away from me and for a second, horrible thoughts are running through my head, wondering what could make him look this way. "There's something I need to tell you. But I didn't know how because…" He stops and looks away from me.

"Tell me Christian…"

"When we went to Portland and we spent the night. I didn't realize how drunk you got. I confessed to you how I felt and you told me you felt the same way. We kissed. I mean really kissed. Then you passed out on me and when you woke the next morning, you seemed upset to be on top of me and didn't remember anything, so I kept it to myself. I thought I taken advantage of you, or you just were pretending you didn't remember. I didn't want to ruin anything between us, so I kept it to myself."

"Oh, well…." I rub my head trying to remember that night, but I'm coming up blank. "I see. I wish you told me, but I guess I can understand why." I mean I sorta do. Worried that I was going to push away from him. I might have done the same if it was in reverse.

I woke up that morning and thought I cheated on Owen. I was already pissed at myself for how I was treating him, but when Christian said nothing happened I took his word. If my head wasn't pounding I might have pushed him more because I could tell when he shut down something did happen, but I started to wonder if he was ashamed.

God, the both of us are a pair.

"What would have happened if I did?" He questions and I wonder why he would even have to ask that. I probably would have ripped his clothes off and fucked him right there. Hangover and all.

"I- I'm not sure. I think I would have realized I needed to dump Owen sooner because I would have totally believed you if you told me I said all that. Don't you remember me licking the cherry filling off my finger that morning? I was pretty much begging you to tell me you wanted me and rip my clothes off." I raise my eyebrow at him.

"I'm an idiot…."

"Just a little bit," I giggle and put my arms around his waist. "From now that changes. We share everything, Christian. Understand? I mean everything…."

"Everything. I promise."

"Good. Now kiss me."

"My pleasure…" He growls. He slams his lips to mine. His tongue stabs my mouth open and I moan against him like a whore in heat. The both of us are clawing at each other, needing more, needing to practically climb into each other.

I've missed the way he kisses me.

Our kiss becomes intense, feverish dizzy. He pushes me to the desk and starts playing with the buttons on my shirt.

His lips suck on the side of my neck and my eyes spy a bunch of papers all over his desk. I suddenly remember why I came over here in the first place.

Work.

"Christian," I pant. Hell, that's not going to help anything.

"What baby?"

"Work…" I rasp out as his mouth sucks on breast through my shirt, lightly nipping at it.

"Fuck work." I hear him growl with his mouth full.

"No, it's actually really important. The whole deal is going south. Morgan house is pissed, accounting screwed up some numbers and they think we're low balling them." I somehow manage to get to words out while Christians hand runs between my legs, teasing me like a mad woman.

"Christian, we could lose this whole deal…" I pant and wiggle against his fingers for added friction.

His fingers stop their assault, finally, he gets the picture of the situation and steps back from me, running his hands through his hair.

"Shit! Now? Ana...it's been three years….whoever fucked this up is going to fucking pay." He grows, "I should be between your legs right now."

"Maybe you should thank them, considering their screw up led to me being here today. Because who knows when you would have started talking to me again." I smirk and I see some of the tension fall from his shoulders.

"Still… can't it wait? I only need twenty minutes?" he's pleading with me and it's so damn cute.

"Only twenty? I'm hurt." I laugh. This is the man that could go for hours and hours considering how fast he could reload.

"Just for the first time. I really only need five because I'm sure the first time I get inside of you again I might just explode."

I tap my finger to my chin, pretending to ponder the idea. "I mean...I guess I could give you twenty minutes. I have Dan in accounting fixing the mess Stan fucked up. So...we have some time." I shrug.

"Good, because I wouldn't care anyways at this point." Our mouths crash together and Christian undoes the buttons of my blouse and pushing it off my shoulders. He aggressively grabs the cups of my bra and yanks them down hard that it unsnaps my hooks. He sends it flying across the room.

"Fuck…" he mutters his tongue flicking over my hardened nipples. He falls to his knees, his tongue never leaving my body as it runs down my stomach. When he reaches the top of my skirt he yanks it down forcefully, that I swear I hear the zipper rip and fabric tear. Leaving me only in my white thong.

He presses his lips to my core, kissing and inhaling me, a finger running along my drenched folds. There's this spark when he touches me, a spark I only get with him.

"You won't be needing these again." he looks up at me scandalously.

Once he grabs the hook of my thong, I know they're a goner. Another pair to add to the panty graveyard.

Once the threads of my thong have been tossed to the floor he stands back up and looks me over.

"God, you're even fucking hotter now. I didn't think that could be possible. You were already perfect" He growls.

"Why thank you." I reach for the hem of his shirt and pull it over his head. Once it's off I run my hands down his chiseled chest. He grabs my hands and leaves them over his heart.

"I don't think you understand how much I've missed this. This is why you make me whole. It will _only_ be you that can do this. I might be able to hug my parents but you can only touch me on my bare chest like this."

My throat clogs and I try not to cry. His eyes tell me everything to his love, his passion, to his pain of missing me. I don't get a chance to say anything when he forcefully kisses me and grabs a hold of my ass and lifts me into his arms. I instinctively wrap my arms and legs tightly around his body.

"I can feel how wet you are for me baby," he whispers against my lips

"Christian, I need you…"

"Not here. In my bed…hold on."

He carries me out of office and when we reach the hallway his lips are back on mine. We make it to his bedroom and he tosses me to the bed and my body jumps as I hit the mattress.

"I lied. I'm going to need more than twenty minutes with you." He smirks and pulls down his pants, tossing them across the room. He crawls in the bed and hovers my body. His lips gently brush the side of my face, down my neck to my cleavage before coming back to my lips. His right-hand massages my right breast while his left wraps around the side of my neck, bringing my mouth closer to his. "I love you so much, baby." He breathes against my lips. "I'm never letting you go again."

"I don't want you too." He smirks and goes back to kissing me.

My hands dance along his body and his hair as he kisses every inch of me. His feather kisses ignite my skin and I feel like I'm on fire.

He's the only one that could make me feel this way with just the use of his lips. He gets to my center and his fingers brush over my folds.

"You're so fucking wet baby. Do you still taste as sweet as you used to?"

"I don't know? Why don't you tell me?" I sass and pushing his head further down, his nose brushing over my swollen clit.

He does one slow long lick, as he inserts two fingers inside of me. "Mmm, what do you know it's even sweeter."

His tongue slowly devours my core. My hands brush through his hair as I watch him enjoy eating me. I used to love how he could spend hours going down on me like I was his last meal. His eyes look into mine lustfully, his tongue never relenting. Holy hell.

"Let's see if this still works."

His hands reach under my ass, lifting me off the mattress. I feel his pinkie finger run along my rosebud, teasing the outside, and sending shivers through down my spine.

"Yess." I hiss, my hips wiggling in response for more friction. He sticks a finger in my ass and slowly moves it in and out. I grip the sheets and my body explodes like fireworks on the fourth of July. I can hear him humming as he cleans me up with his mouth, but I think I'm too busy seeing those fireworks my body just released.

I haven't had an orgasm like that since, well since Christian. And that move never fails to work on me. It's an instant orgasm trigger button.

"What do you know, it still works." I hear him say, his lips kissing the inside of my thighs.

I move to sit up, wanting a taste of him for myself. "What are you doing?"

"I want you in my mouth…" I pout as he pushes me back down to the bed and hovers over me.

"Later. Because if you put those pink lips around me I might come instantly and I want to be inside you when I do."

I pout with a humph and he chuckles at me. "We have plenty of time for that later. Don't pout."

"But, Christian…" I playfully whine. He shuts me up by kissing me.

His dick rubs between my folds and I stop him. "Condom?" I pant. His grey eyes stare into mine and his eyebrows twist together. I can tell he's debating on saying something because he hates wearing them, but till I know for sure he's clean, he's not going in me bare. Now thinking about it, I'm glad he opted out of the blowjob.

He nods his head and rolls off me and off the bed. He walks to the bathroom and I wolf whistle at his departing ass. "You have a fine booty, Mr. Grey."

 _I'm gonna take a bite out of that later._

When he returns from the bathroom, he has the condom rolled on, ready to go. He crawls back to me, taking me in his arms, and rolling me on top of him.

"Are we re-enacting that video now?" I wiggle my eyebrows.

"Maybe. You did always like playing the cowgirl."

"I can't help it. You felt amazing that way." I smirk, grabbing a hold of his dick and sliding myself down on his shaft. I love watching as his eyes roll back in his head as he bottoms out in me. I roll my hips, enjoy the feeling of every inch of me inside of him.

"Fuck, Ana..." He hisses through his teeth. "You feel so fucking good."

"Back at you, cowboy." My hands fall to his chest and I begin to bounce. I throw my head back and my lips part as I ride him. Christian has a hard grip on my hips, I swear he's trying to mark me with his fingerprints. It's not till he starts lifting me higher off his dick that I comprehend his tight hold. He lifts me enough that I barely hover over his tip before he slams me down, make me shout and my toes curl. He does this several times, before he circles his arms around my back, pulling me down, and his mouth wraps around my breast. His thrust becomes more violent, as I remain trapped in his arms. My stomach and core clench together, my orgasm ripping through my body.

"Oh fuck," Christian groans grabbing the back of my head now and slamming his lips back to mine. My body still convulsing. "God, I've missed feeling you come around me."

He rolls me to the mattress just like the video I watched with him hours ago. His head rests on my forehead, the love in his grey orbs shining into me. His thrusts slow, sending little shimmers coursing through me.

"Ana, shit…" He closes his eyes and tries to move away from me, but I'm not having it. I grip my vaginal walls around him, holding him in place. He's about to blow and there's no way I'm going to let him hold back. "Babe, I want this to last. Stop…." he grits out, his eyes still closed as I'm sure he's trying to picture some grandma in a mumu.

"Uh-uh. I never promised you the twenty, Grey. I need you to come, deep inside of me now, hotshot." I purr in his ear and take a bite of his lobe.

He yells out my name followed by a couple of curses before his body collapsing on top of mine. Once he finally comes back from his high, he looks at me, a wicked glint in his eye.

"You might have won that round Miss Steele, but we're not done yet. I have something in mind for you, now."

Seconds later, I'm on all fours on his bed, getting lost with him all over again.

* * *

 **A/N: As for Taylor not following Elena in the office I just didn't think he would leave a random person standing alone… More on that next chapter. But hey there together again...There's lots more talk going on in the next 3 chapters… but I think they vented here well (some stuff was already talked about between them.. some not-)**

reppinda5o3- Thanks for the chat and thoughts…

 **Let me know what you think.**


	9. starting over

**A/N: I'm back—sorta… I had so much hope to finish this story over break and it didn't happen. Between the kids, Santa's gifts littered around my floor, and unexpected health issues that I'm trying to deal with, on top of getting Watching You on Amazon (by the way preorder is up… link after chapter or in profile) I didn't get it done but it's still my mission to keep trying and get this baby done.**

 **As for troll(s) please save your energy I think as you can tell I don't listen or care.. you really just make me laugh and if your trying to start something with me or with other writers just stop. It's kind of old… and like I said I plan to keep writing- and just write more now because.**

 **I hope everyone had a Good Holiday and Happy 2018 you all.**

* * *

"I guess we need to get some work done." Christian muses his hand dancing along my naked back.

"Yeah, we better handle it before the problem explodes even more." I sigh, not wanting to uncurl myself from Christian's warmth and security.

I can't deny how much I have missed being melded to his body and how our souls are connected in this moment. The air has shifted and there's this positive aura around us. It's hope. Hope that we can work this time together.

The broken pieces of my heart now are being glued back together. I'm complete again because we're us again. I'm in the place I was always supposed to be.

But there's no denying the nagging feeling that the ghost of our past might come and try to tear us apart again.

Both ghost starting with the letter E.

Hopefully, now we will both be stronger to fight together for whatever comes our way.

Christian lifts my chin and plants a light kiss on my lips.

"I love you and I'm never letting you go this time." He murmurs against my lips, his eyes staring into mine. "I'm going to work so much harder at making us right again."

I push myself into him more, wanting to be as close as possible to him. To crawl into him.

"We finally got our second chance and I'm going to hold on tightly this time too. I love you, Christian Grey."

Our lips mold back together and I'm kissing him with everything I have. Telling him that this isn't a one-off - that this is forever.

God damn, I hope it's forever.

His erection pokes hard into me and I realize we need to stop or we will never get out of this bed. We really do have to work, we've put it on hold long enough now. I slowly end our kiss and break away from him. He groans his displeasure. He tries to suck me back in, but I push off him and move out of bed.

"Where are you going? I don't remember telling you that you could leave." He smirks.

"Get out of bed, Grey. We have work to do. I gave you that extra time you needed, but we're behind now. So, chop chop." I clap my hands.

He laughs and moves off the bed and towards me like a lion about to eat the gazelle. My eyes fall on his dick, standing at attention and saluting me. I hate how badly I want to wrap my mouth around it.

"Staring at it doesn't help me want to get back to work. If you don't cut it out, I'm going to throw you back on that bed…" He wraps his arms around me, capturing me, and making my eyes pop back up to his face.

"We wouldn't want that, would me?" I grin, and he pushes away from me, but not before slapping my ass for my comment.

"Smart mouth." He mummers, moving towards his dresser and slipping a pair of boxers on.

"Do you have any clothes I can wear? I believe you tore _everything_ I had on…"

A sly grin plays on his lips -stating that he's damn pleased with himself.

Bastard.

I roll my eyes, "I'm going to need a bigger paycheck or a clothing allowance if you're going to keep doing that."

"I think I can arrange something because I am going to keep doing that." He digs through his dresser and pulls out another pair of boxers, tossing them to me.

I slip them on as a shirt comes flying, landing on my head.

"I'll also make sure there are spares in the office as well." He chuckles. "I plan to have you naked there a lot as well."

I put on the shirt and Christian slips on a pair of PJ bottoms. I hate sometimes how perfect this man is with the way his bottoms hang off his hips, showing off that sculpted 'v'. He's a gift from above, and he's all mine. Again.

"You better put a damn shirt on, or we really won't get any work done because I'll be too busy staring…" I tell him politely and walk out of the room with Christian laughing behind me.

He was right about something, it really is going to be hard to resist him when there's three years to make up for.

* * *

Christian's laptop is opened on his desk as he types away. I sit next to him, reading off numbers of the original spreadsheet given to accounting. My feet are propped up on his lap and every once in a while, between his cursing, his hand brushes up and down my legs, sending pleasant tingles down my spine.

There's a knock on the door and Christian tells whoever is behind it to come in.

I drop my legs from Christian's lap and move closer to him, so I'm hidden behind the desk. I don't need to give anyone a show of me in Christian's clothes.

Taylor walks in and stands in front of the desk. He looks pensive. "Mr. Grey, I wanted to discuss with you with what happened earlier." He clears his throat, "I was going to come to you earlier, but you were _busy_."  
My cheeks heat up and out of the corner of my eye, I see Christian's shit-eating grin. The grin only lasts a second and scowls at Taylor.

"Yes, what the hell happened today Taylor? Elena was on the list not to come here. You knew of this. I thought you had changed the codes."

I take Christian's hand. I've known him long enough to know that he's stewing, but is doing his best to stay calm.

"I did, Mr. Grey." he nods, "I'm not sure how she got them. Elena and that um...girl entered the lobby and checked in. I went to talk with Michael's downstairs and he told me a Mr. Grey approved the action of her being on the list. It seems they had your code words to authorize the change. As I watch the cameras I figured it as a mistake and she wouldn't get past the elevator. Though when she entered the code I thought maybe you had changed your mind and forgot to inform me of her visit. It wouldn't be the first time." Taylor clears his throat and Christian glares at him. Taylor in return gives the glare back. I almost want to laugh...almost.

But the bigger situation is who gave Elena the codes and who put her on the list.

"Well, I didn't give her anything." Christian grits out. "And why didn't you stop Elena from entering my office?"

"When you two left to go the office the girl Elena brought was acting twitchy and I didn't trust her. When you two had started yelling Elena went to go check on you while the girl started moving back towards the kitchen. I picked the unfamiliar girl scouting the place over Elena since she used to be welcomed and entered your office. If anything, I was sure you would be able to handle her."

And he did. Christian runs his hands down his face and lets out a loud frustrated sigh.

"I want to find out how Elena got the fuck in here. The only people with the codes to the elevator are the three of us. I want eyes on her, asap." He grits out. "Also make sure she's not on the damn list again at Grey House. And get someone to watch her."

"On it, Mr. Grey…" Taylor nods.

"Also, anything on this girl that's been following Ana? Have you've been able to find out anything?" Christian asks and I shake my head. So, he did know about it. I should be upset he didn't ask me about it, but I won't be, it's just how Christian is. Though he is going to have to be more open with me from now on.

"No, nothing was found on any of the cameras where Miss Steele said she saw her. Either the girl knows where the cameras are, or it was luck she wasn't caught on them."

"Could it be Elena?" Christian questions.

"No, she was younger and thinner. Maybe an old… _flame_ of yours?" I bite a little harder than I planned. I wonder how many more subs there could be. Three years is a long time.

Then I wonder why do I do this to myself? It doesn't count and doesn't matter anymore. I've been with other men too. I need to get past it, it's just a matter of sitting down and talking through everything. Maybe tomorrow. Because right now I just want to enjoy this moment of our rekindled romance.

I'm going into this again trusting him and hope that he will no longer keep anything from me.

"I don't like blondes, all those- were brunette and Haley was the only one that didn't end on good terms." He tells me.

"I don't blame you for not liking blondes after Elena" I shudder, "but you know there is a thing called dye. It could easily be that crazy bitch you had last. Didn't Elena set you up with her?"

Christian's lips twist together, his face mirrored anguished. I know he's going to beat himself up for a while. She's one of the main subjects that kept us apart. He doesn't say anything and Taylor continues.

"That's' what I was thinking too. I put eyes on her after Ana told me about the blonde, but according to Hank, she hasn't been anywhere near Miss Steele. I will have to check out the um, others."

Christian tightens his grip around me and I pat his chest telling him it's okay.

"Thank you, Taylor," I answer. "Let's not worry about this too much because we really do need to crack down on handling Morgan house now."

Christian looks down at me and I can see he's relieved that this didn't turn into any kind of fight.

"Yes, thank you, Taylor. And make sure you put someone on Elena also. Just keep us informed of anything you find out."

 _He said us._

 _Good start Grey, very good start._

Taylor nods and makes his exit.

Once the door closes behind Taylor, Christian pulls me into his arms. "Are you okay? I should've reached out to you when Taylor told me about it, but…'  
"You were being stubborn?" I finish for him. He smiles down at me.

"Yeah. I'm sorry. I made sure Barney and Welsh try to look into anything they could when I was told. Taylor said you didn't seem too worried…. I'm a jerk."

"I know." I kiss the bottom of his chin, then push him away. "We have work to do and we're already behind because of our shenanigans."

"Shenanigans." He tests the word. "Well, when we finish with work, you can trust we will be doing those shenanigans again." He pulls me back into his arms and into his kiss.

Yes, we will definitely be doing that again.

* * *

"Stay with me tonight. It's late." He tells me and nuzzles his head into my neck. After we finished sorting out the mess that accounting made, and saved ourselves from losing the deal, Christian pulled me on his lap, where we started making out, touching, rubbing like canoodling teenagers.

It's after midnight now and I really don't want to have to drive home, but I need clean clothes,

"Christian I didn't bring clothes with me and I doubt I could show up to GEH in your underwear."

"I wouldn't mind." He smirks. "We can stop by your place in the morning. Shower here… with me, then get your clothes. Your first meeting isn't till nine. Don't make me beg, Anastasia."

His honey voice coos in my ear, his mouth latching to my earlobe.

"I happen to like when you beg. It reminds when you used to try to get me to go on a date with you in college." I grin. "I really should make you beg harder. Some people would say you got me back pretty easy."

"You wanted me." He smirks.

 **Christian**

"I did. No denying it." She pulls on the back of my hair and kisses me. Our tongues dance and this reminds me of the night at the Heathman, only this time when we wake up, she'll still be mine.

Then like a kick in the gut I remember what led us to kissing in the first place.

I break away from her lips and look at her. Her mouth is still parted and pulling me closer to her, begging me not to stop.

"Ana…" Her eyes pop open at the worry in my voice.

Her blue eyes shine into mine and I don't know how I didn't see since she's been back that; her eyes tell me how much she really does love me. It's how she looked at me back then, a pull that brings her to me- that tells me how much she's the only one I need. God, I'm fucking blind.

"What's wrong?"

"Remember how I told you about Portland. The kiss and stuff?"

"Yeah?" She questions. "What about it?"

"That's not all that happened…"

"I thought we didn't have sex?" she asks her hand still running through my hair.

"Unfortunately, no."

She chuckles, "unfortunately…." She kisses behind my ear. "yes probably...I did want you, desperately." she purrs, and nips at my lobe.

"Fuck," I moan pushing my dick into her when she wiggles around on my lap. "Ana, baby." I still her hips. I need to tell her because I still have so many questions.

"What? It's been three years Christian...don't deny me..." she giggles impersonality me from earlier.

"Well, I need to ask this because it's been on my mind and I know you don't remember telling me."

"What?"

"I mean besides the fact that you were madly in love with me and I had the biggest dick…" I grin trying to lighten the mood. She smacks me in the chest in return. "But seriously, that night you told me the reason why you stopped drinking and it's been eating me up that I caused you to go down that path because I lied to you and didn't fight harder for you. The last thing I ever wanted for you was to suffer. But I was selfish more worried about me and my embarrassment. You really do deserve better than me, but like I said I'm selfish and I'm not going to let you go again. I love you and I'm so sorry. If I lost you…" I bury my head in her chest and pull her closer, wanting to climb inside of her. I was an idiot over and over again.

"Christian, you can't beat yourself up over this...what I did was stupid. I knew what I was doing… well sorta. I got carried away. I should've reached out to someone. You can't blame yourself for any of it." She lifts my head my glassy greys meeting her shinning blues.

"Yes, I can. It wouldn't have happened if I didn't lie or leave you."

"It's over now though. I learned a valuable lesson. Granted I got a little carried away last week but I knew in the back of my head you wouldn't have let anything happen to me. Yes, I was hurt by all that happened, but you know what I could've fought harder too. I think of all the things I could've done I wish I kicked Elena's ass and ripped her hair out. Though sometimes I think this was meant to happen. That all these things needed to happen, so we can be here now. If you stayed or I left Harvard I think we would still been living in a state of what-ifs or resentment. We could be hating each other now, instead of loving each other. We'll never know. I'm here, you're here, we can only go from here. Maybe soon we'll have to really talk and lay everything out, but for now - can you take me to bed? Love the fuck out of me?"

"I'll do anything to keep my number one girl happy."

* * *

The alarm rings and I'm met with a warm, soft naked body cuddled into mine. There was a part of me believed that my life would become _Groundhog's Day_ and she would disappear, causing me to do it all over again.

Now seeing her here, knowing this is real, there's no way I'm not waking up this way for the rest of my life.

Ana moans and snuggles into me more as I reach over and turn the alarm clock off.

"It's too early…" she groans.

I laugh and kiss the top of her head. Her eyes pop open, looking up at me, with a large lazy grin on her face.

"If my alarm went off it's after six thirty. I usually don't sleep in this late. Actually, I would be running late."

"You're crazy… wake me in an hour, you promised. You kept me up till almost two."

"I didn't hear one ounce of complaining Miss Steele. If I remember correctly there was a lot of 'more, don't stop.'" My fingers run down her bareback. She shivers in response and rubs her wet core on my leg.

"You know what, I vote for a sick day, instead. I'm sure our boss won't mind." Her hand moves down my chest, to my already hardened dick. She grips it in her hand and flicks her thumb along the tip.

"Just think me and you in bed all day." she lays little kisses in the center of my chest and starts to pump her hand. I have missed the feeling on her lips on my skin. Especially on my chest. It's like each little wet kiss heals me more.

"I think we can at least be a little late," I smirk and pull her on top of me. Her wet core teasing my achy morning wood. "Maybe a repeat of last night again. You riding me…"

"Hmmm…" She leans over and grabs a condom off my nightstand. I'll guess I'll have to grab more of those sometime today.

Fuck it, I'll have someone come in and give me a blood test by this afternoon and rush with the results. Ana is the only girl I've been bare with, but if she wants her mind at ease I'll do it. Because god damn, these fuckers don't belong between me and her velvety center.

"I'd do anything to keep on the good side of my boss." she winks, rolling the condom on, before slides herself onto my dick.

"Are you sure you don't want to go to work in my clothes? I promise I won't mind. I can have you locked in my office all day." I ask running my hand up her arm.

We're in the back of the car as Taylor drives us to her apartment for a change of clothes. Ana is still in my shirt and sweatpants. She didn't have much choice since I broke the zipper of her skirt and her underwear are no more.

I really have missed the way she looks in my clothes.

"I'm sure because if I was going to do that we might have just stayed at your place."

"I guess you make a good point Miss Steele."

We pull up to Ana's apartment and I help her out of the car. My phone rings in my pocket and I go to pull it out as we walk towards the doors. I roll my eyes. It's Elena.

And like I should've done long ago, I block the number. Though I admit there was something satisfying to not answering her call knowing she's on the other end getting pissed off because I refused to talk to her. She's left me many of voicemails, not a single one I have listened to.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ana stops in her tracks.

"What's wrong?"

"Taylor, that's her…" she hisses and points across the street.

My head turns to where Ana is pointing and a flash of blonde with red pants goes running down the street. Taylor is pulling out his phone to call the details watching the ones we expect.

Taylor can't run after her and leave us vulnerable.

Well that going to be changing right away and Ana is getting someone for her asap. There's no way we're going to be in this situation again.

"I don't understand who could be following me if it's not your ex or Elena." Ana huffs frustrated. "Are you sure the people covering that girl are accurate?"

"I'm sure, but trust me I'll have it looked into more. Taylor?" I address when I see him hang up. "Can you clear Ana's apartment. That way she can get ready and discuss our next step at GEH."

Taylor nods and moves ahead of us. I put my arm around Ana's shoulder to comfort her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's not like they have done anything, but I don't understand why they're following me. Like how do they know where I am?"

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out." I kiss her forehead.

Taylor lets us know the place is safe and we go in. Ana's place reminds me a lot of our place back in college. Maybe It's because I let her do all the decorating because, in her words, my tastes were boring.

I walk in here and I feel as though as if I'm at home. The walls are warm, the pictures of her family and friends hang on the wall. I spot one of us from our first Halloween dressed as Batman and her as Catwoman.

I wonder if she still has that customer. The tight leather get up that showed off every curve and her perfect ass. That was an amazing night. She wasn't wearing any panties under that get-up. My dick remembers that night as well and I adjust myself. Ana throws her bag on the couch.

My smile drops as I stare at the black leather couch- It's our old couch from our apartment. I cringe inwardly wondering if she shared any moments with her boyfriends on it. Though I quickly shake it off knowing I can't think of it and it doesn't matter.

The past.

She's mine again.

We'll just have to make new memories on it.

 _I think I've earned myself a gold star._

"Nice place," I tell her as I trace my hand over the couch. "Nice couch too." I raise an eyebrow at her. "looks familiar."

"Yeah, some dude I used to live with bought it for me."

"That was nice of him. He must have been extra special…" I walk to her and slip my arms around her waist.

"He was alright." She kisses my cheek. "I'm going to get dressed. Stay here or we'll never get to work."

I chuckle and nuzzle my head into her neck. "If I remember correctly you're the one that wanted the sick day."

"And you were the one that didn't agree." She shoves me away playfully, "now behave."

"Yes, ma'am."

She narrows her eyes at me and walks into her room. I'm tempted to follow when Taylor clears his throat.

Shit, I forgot he was here.

I spin on my heel, "what is it Taylor?"

"I just spoke to Hank and he followed Miss Garrett into work a half hour ago. I got Barney checking if there are any surrounding cameras and arranging converts on the others."

"Hank, is he trustworthy?"

To be honest, I have no idea who this Hank is, but I trust Taylor enough to pick who he wants on his team.

"Yes, his background was clean. Served eight years in the army and two years in private security. I had an old staff Sergeant also vouch for him."

I nod, "Any threats to Miss Steele or me lately?"

I'm not usually made aware of many threats unless they seem credible. You find most people that would do anything wouldn't tell the person about it. With a top team, some ex FBI, most threats are dissolved in less than an hour.

"Not that I've been made aware of, Mr. Grey."

I nod. "We can discuss more when we get to the office. Meet with Barney and Welsh and see if they can get video from the surrounding streets and figure out who this girl is." I tell him. "If you could arrange someone to watch Ana in the meantime. I don't want her alone and it would be good to have two on us from now on."

"I'll get Sawyer right on it."

"Okay, I'm ready," Ana calls out from behind me. I spin back to look at her and rake my eyes over her body. She's wearing a tight navy wrap dress with a plunging neckline makes me really wish we took that sick day. If it wasn't for the trip to New York tomorrow I might have.

"You're really trying to torture me aren't you…" I say as she walks by me to the door. I follow after her grabbing a handful of her ass.

"I have no idea what you mean." She smirks back at me, "come now, I have a meeting in thirty." She takes my hand off her ass and puts it in hers.

"After your meeting meet me in my office. We'll need to go over a couple of things with this situation." I inform her as we walk back to the car.

"You mean the situation with this girl or _this situation."_ She stops at the car and grabs a hold of my semi-hard crotch. She licks her lips and her blue eyes bore into mine.

Standing in this moment it's like nothing has ever changed between us. There was no breakup, no moments apart. This is us, the way we always have been.

"Both, if I'm lucky." I lean down and bite her lower lip.

* * *

Two hours later, Ana is in my office with Taylor, Sawyer, and Barney. The three of them don't know which way it up. I'm frustrated and annoyed that nobody can figure out who this girl is. Although it wouldn't surprise me if it is Haley.

"The only camera was outside of Miss Steele's apartment. The footage is beyond par, you can see the girl across the street, but it's not clear enough to do a face recognizing program and with the large sunglasses it's even harder." Barney says as he loads up the screenshot.

Ana and I both squint trying to get a good look at it, but it just looks like a bunch of pixels.

I make a mental note to pay for better security cameras outside and inside Ana's building.

"Who the fuck is doing this? I've only been here for a month I haven't had time to piss anyone off _but_ the usual suspects." Ana clenches her fist together, her cheeks turning red, as she's about to blow.

"There's more." Barney starts. "We had something come in this morning after I hung up with Taylor. We're taking this as a threat only because of the situation with the blonde."

"What the hell is it?" I snap.

Barney hits a few buttons on his keyboard opening to his mailbox. "You'll have to read and see it for yourself…"

 **You're playing the fool. My eyes are open unlike yours. You have no idea what you have started. I'm just waiting. Waiting for my time to strike to get even with the things that I have lost- because of you.**

"Have you been able to trace this?"

"No. It's bouncing off many servers and the last one it stopped at was a library in Maine. Welsh is working on it, but whoever did this knows his stuff. Also, open the attachment."

I touch the screen and it comes alive with pictures of Ana and me from this morning, outside of her apartment. It's not from the girl because it's on the same street and has our reactions to her being spotted.

"How? Taylor?" I glare at him. "What the fuck has been going on with you lately? How could you not see someone taking pictures…Isn't this what I'm paying you for."

Ana's hand grabs my shoulder and she squeezes it, "Don't take it out on him. We have no idea where this person was and as you can tell Taylor was distracted as the both of us trying to handle to blonde. Barney, can you figure where this person was when they took the pictures?"

"It could be at a good distance since the sidewalk is a straight shot. It has a grainy touch to it, so the person was far away from you- maybe up to 100ft depending how good a zoom they have."

I curse and yank on my hair. "Have you tried to track this to maybe Elena or Elliot?"

"We crossed it will Elena's IP's that we know of… and as for Elliot… he hasn't been on any radar in a little over a month. No credit charges and his IP is quiet and his phone number is also been disconnected."

"Eliot is missing?" Ana asks, "what?"

"I haven't talked to Elliot in months. Mom and dad have no idea where he is. Said he ran off to supposedly get his life together. Me I could care less, honestly."

"Could this be him? It's not out of the realm for him to make threats." Ana rolls her eyes and looks like she swallowed something bitter. I know she hates him. Hell, I hate him. When we were kids we got along- we were always in each other's pockets then as we got into our teen years we drifted. Once Ana came into my life it all went to shit, but I wanted to try because he's still my brother, but I fear it's all gone to pot.

I shrug, "Maybe? He's definitely a possibility. Can you and Welsh do whatever you can to find my brother? Figure out his last whereabouts, cross them with Elena. I know they're connected somehow... I don't know how, but they are especially when it comes to me and Ana. Even though neither would admit to it."

"On it Mr. Grey," Barney says and picks his computer back up.

"Ana, I want Sawyer with you at all times. I don't want you alone." I take her hand and tell her firmly. There's no way I'm going to let her argue about this. I should've had someone on her right away, but she's only now starting to get public recognize with GEH and I hate to say I was thinking this, but I had hoped Elena or even Elliot would be over the damn shit they did in the past.

"Okay…" She gives me a half smile and squeezes my hand. "I would feel better right now having someone with me." I breathe out a sigh of relief.

"You really thought I was gonna argue about that?" She giggles and I shrug.

She always used to have a tendency to fight everything, even if it was just for fun and to rile me up.

"What's the plan for New York?" I ask Taylor, changing the subject back to the matter at hand.

"Besides Sawyer and I have three other guys coming with us. There should never be a moment where there is less than two of us. I've already sent someone ahead to check on all the- agreements." He says.

And I know just what agreements he's talking about. Something I've been working on all week. It's another reason I shut off, on top of confessing what happened to Elena to my parents, which only caused me more self-hate, I've been trying to make the moment in New York perfect. My head has been in the clouds trying to arrange it and wrap my mind around every fucked-up thing that has happened in my life. I knew I was being an ass, and I couldn't control what was going on in my head. I knew I had to try harder and New York was my ticket.

I just got very lucky she stumbled into my bedroom yesterday.

"Alright, excellent. I need a moment with Miss Steele. Please keep us posted if anything changes. And do whatever you can to figure out who the fuck this girl is. Check Haley again…"

"Yes, Mr. Grey." They all say in almost unison and leave my office.

"If it's not Elena or Haley or Elliot who the fuck would mess with me, with us? Any chance the email and the blonde are different threats?" Ana asks me and wraps her arms around my waist.

"I couldn't tell you. Hopefully, they'll do what I pay them for and figure this out. Soon." I kiss the top of her head. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Her eyes gaze up at me and she gives me a lazy smile. "I feel almost used to it."

"I'm sorry. Did Elena ever send you anything else after those pictures in the beginning?" I ask and brush her hair back and inhale her. Only back together for half a day and already shit is hitting the fans.

"No. Actually, yes, once. After my father died. I never opened it though. I recognized the handwriting and threw it away. Even if it wasn't her I wasn't taking the chance. I knew it might have had something to do with you coming to see me in Portland for my dad." She frowns and backs away from me.

"What's wrong?" I question reaching out for her.

"Why did you just leave the last time we saw each other? I thought after we held each other and enjoyed each other's' company we would have started something. Why didn't you try? Especially I know now how much you wanted me all this time."

I shake my head at the memory. "I wanted too and much like after the benefit all I could think was I was going to hold you back from something that made you happy. You told me about the job in New York, you sounded so excited about it. It was your first major job out of college. You were doing something with your life. If I asked you back I risked us either doing the long distance or you stepping away. You knew I couldn't just quit GEH, I mean I could have, but we were growing like crazy, I just hired three thousand people. I cared more was making sure you were happy, and I was still messed up with how much I hurt you. I wouldn't or couldn't do it again. If I took you away from that job or did something stupid. And at that time, I might have "

"Did you have a sub at the time? Was that part of it too?"

"Ana," I stand in front of her and grab her face in my hands, "no. I didn't. There's no denying all the times I could've made a stronger effort, but I couldn't read you then either. Why didn't you try or say something?"

"Because I wanted you to do the work." She says plainly and leans into my hand.

"I guess I can't blame you…" I lean down and kiss her. Her hands find their way into my hair, pulling me closer to her.

I lift her into my arms and prop her on my desk. I push her dress around her hips, and spread her legs apart, maneuvering myself between them. Our kiss never disconnecting.

I don't know how I'm ever going to get any work done now that Ana and I are back together. We have three years to make up for. Three years of my dick not being in her warm wet center. There's not enough hours in the day now, so I have to use each minute wisely, therefore making office sex a must.

"Do you need me as bad as I need you right now, Anastasia?" I whisper, our lips still touching. Her chest is heaving, her eyes closed still absorbing the intensity of our kiss.

My hand moves between her legs and push her panties aside and let my thumb rub over her swollen clit. I'm itching to rip her underwear off again.

"Yes…" She hisses as I dip two fingers inside of her and start to pump. "Mmm...Mr. Grey…." she moans. "You really know to treat your COO right."

"Let me show you how good…" I nip at the side of her neck, "but I think you should take off my belt so I don't move my hand."

Ana reaches for my belt and gets the hooks undone, when a loud beep comes from my intercom, making us both jump, and ruining the moment.

"Mr. Grey?" Andrea's voice echoes around. I manage to reach over and hit the intercom, Ana giggling next to me.

"Yes, Andrea?" I tried my hardest not to snap, but I couldn't control it. I was so close to being buried in Ana's warmth.

"Be nice, Christian." Ana whispers. I roll my eyes in response.

"Mr. Martin is here. Also, Silvia from accounting was looking for Miss Steele."

"We will be right out," I tell her and disconnect. "Rain check I guess," I ask hooking my belt back together.

"Rain check. We have tonight and the flight to New York in the morning." She says, jumping off my desk and fixing her dress.

"You're right, plenty of time to have my way with you." I take her hand and place it to my lips. "Come to my place tonight. We can have dinner… then I can have you for dessert….in my bed…wrapped in my sheets… _naked_ …"

She shakes her head and I narrow my eyes at her, "Why don't you come to my place, I'll make us dinner, and I'll think about having you for dessert… in my bed. Plus, you haven't seen my bedroom yet."

"Alright, deal." I'm not going to argue with that.

"Great. I'll see you later, Mr. Grey." She reaches up to kiss me and then scurries out my office door.

I pull out my phone to text Taylor for him to get my bags and that I will be staying with Ana tonight.

We have to leave for New York tomorrow morning at six. I'm grateful for a private jet because even though Ana and I are already members of the mile-high club, we will get to renew our membership in my jets bedroom.

* * *

 **? POV**

I've never been more pissed when I found out this morning that Ana and Christian had spent the night together, then come to find out she arrived at her apartment in his clothes. It's easy to say they both _re-connected._

I'll never understand what he sees in that damn slut.

My plan with Owen backfired. I would have sworn he would have worked harder to keep Ana out of Christian's arms, but instead, he just throws her to him.

However, this works well too.

Christian might think he's the only one that has ears and eyes everywhere, but the second I heard about Ana's return I took a step and bugged the apartment. Really simple interference that Taylor will never notice unless they really look into it.

Now it's time to start driving a wedge between the two once again. It was easy to do the first time and it will be easy to do again.

 **A/N: Let me know what you think. Next Chapter there going to Talk Then after that A trip to New York I think you'll like and some more information about ? comes to light.**

 **As I mentioned eailer Watching You is out for pre-order now for those who don't follow me on FB I hope that you'll check it out if you read it or just want something new to read this year :) I know it's hard to move from Christian and Ana but I hope you like Kyle and Jess(link also in profile). www . amazon Watching-You-Erica-Marselas-ebook / dp / B078NHJP5T /**


	10. You've been with how many?

**A day early because RL with be real trouble tomorrow :/ ... Enjoy**

* * *

Ana and I are both sitting on the floor, eating the stir-fry she made. This reminds of when we were in college. Our dining table was always covered in books and papers, so we never ate there. We always ate on the floor and used the coffee table instead. The television plays in the background, but I couldn't tell you what crap was on. I've been watching her- talking about her day, the way her cheeks redden when she laughs, how every time her eyes look into mine with a smile on her face I remind myself how lucky she's mine again.

"This is nice. I missed this." I kiss the top of her head as her head falls on my shoulder.

"I missed it too." She sighs heavily. I know she's thinking about something. She places a kiss on my shoulder and pops her head back up, looking at me thoughtfully.

"I think we should talk," Ana says chomping down on her lower lip and I drop my fork to the plate.

"Talk?" My voice cracks.

Isn't that all we've been doing is talking. But the way she's looking at me makes my heart start beating out of my chest. I couldn't tell you why I'm shaking like a whore in a church, but with everything going on with the blonde and the threats just today alone, has me worried.

She shakes her head and grabs my hand, placing it to her lips. "Yes, talk. I told you last night I think we need to clear the air. Settle every past demon. That way we can move on. Remember no more secrets?"

I breathe out a sigh of relief. I nod the conversation of the night before coming back to me.

"Yeah, of course. Usually, when you would say we have to talk, I was in trouble." I chuckle.

"Not this time." She smirks, "but just another ground rule… we can't get mad at what we tell each other about what we share and after today it stays in the past. I know last night you were still beating yourself up about what happened to me after you left. I don't want that. No blaming ourselves or each other anymore... we clear the air now. Unless one of us remembers something later that's important and we need to share that's different... Agree?"

"Agreed. Ask me anything. I'm an open book this time." I brush my hand through her hair, pushing it off her shoulders, exposing her neck. I hide my smile when I notice a little purple bruise from last night, I didn't mean to, but it was just so hard stopping enjoying the taste of her skin.

"I'm just going to come out of the gate running…. How many Subs did you have after me, and where did you do that in your apartment? So I make sure I never go in there and did you ever give them… More?"

"The big guns huh?" I sigh. In college I told Ana that I had been with other women before, just not how or how many exactly. Only that they weren't anything to me than one or two-night stands. That I never gave a girl more before, gave them a part of me. If I think back, I had that working for me if I had just been honest in the first place.

"Four, well five, but one I never did anything with. She was the first one and I couldn't get up. She's was a masochist and used her to get my pain out, to try and gain a part of me again."

"Only four?"

Four too many if you ask me. Though I'm wondering if she was expecting a larger number.

"Only four. It was almost a year after, I did _that._ It was a means to an end. They never meant more to me. You were my more. I wasn't willing to give that away. I didn't even kiss them. As terrible as it sounds I used them, and maybe it was in part that I wasn't alone sometimes. Have a meal with someone even if there was never a conversation. I tried to fill the void, but I always knew it was a mistake. I never really belonged in that lifestyle. I knew it. I wasn't a proper Dom, I never did anything to hurt these girls, but my lack of caring for them isn't how a Dom should be and I regret it. I didn't really enjoy it, it was a void filler and there was no way I wanted a relationship with anybody" I sigh and remember just feeling I had nothing to lose and wanted to have some kind of companionship without the love and feelings. "At first I went to this club. It was a huge risk, but they had a good anonymously clause. That's where I ran into Elena. She convinced me after a while that a club was no place for me and would be happy to bring me girls and for a fee."

I see her nose wrinkle at Elena's name, but she doesn't say anything.

 _I know Ace, she was a pimp and I fell for it all because I stopped giving a shit about everything and myself._

"You had to like something…" she mutters.

"You want me to be brutally honest?" She nods, but I can see her jaw click. "Remember you can't get mad."

"Depends on the words you use…" she grits softly. I grab her chin and have her look at me.

"They were good looking and willing. That's how far it goes. They liked the pain I infected, I could take my pain out on them. I know it makes me this dark monster that uses women, I knew that. But for most men, it doesn't take too much to get going, and honestly, I hate to say it – because they weren't even close, but I would think of you. I think the huge picture on my wall shows that." I release her chin and she nods. "Nobody could compare to you. I tried damn it. But until last month I never saw us here again. Do you believe me?"

"I do."

"Really?"

"Yes…" She says softly. I kiss her gently and her eyes search mine. "What about the rest? The… where?"

"I had this room made up, I called it a playroom. It was pretty basic, I had enough stuff, but not overdone, considering the amount of money I could've put into it. Do you want to know what was there or can I spare you that for now?"

"Spare me, but maybe another day we can talk…" She pushes her hands through my hair and bites down on her lip. "Talk about adding stuff that you like. That we like. I know we tried toys and we both got a thrill with you spanking me in college. I enjoyed all those things and I would want to do them again with you." Her cheeks blush and I don't know if it's from embarrassment or excitement. "I did a lot of searching on the lifestyle when you explained some of it to me. Like I wouldn't mind some things. Maybe you can show me the room, then explain it to me."

"I got rid of the room Ana. After I kicked Haley out, that weekend I had it dismantled. I want you, I don't need anything associated with that room. And the place they slept I also had that completely re-done. They never slept in my bed. Not only because that's way too fucking personal, but they couldn't touch me. And they weren't you."

"I guess they couldn't either with that large picture of me hanging on your wall." She quirks her eyebrow at me a sly smile appearing on her face.

I chuckle, "I couldn't sleep with you...but at least you felt close to me. It helped with nightmares." I tell her honestly. "It's gonna have to come down isn't it?"

She nods, "you might need my face to fall asleep, but I don't."

"I happen to love it." I say and kiss behind her ear "I guess I can put it in my office now."

"It will certainly give the clients something to talk about." She laughs.

"Okay, now, it's mine turn…" I brace myself wondering do I really want to know this.

I don't.

I just know it will haunt me forever if I don't ask. I have this possessive need to know and no clue how I'll handle the information. Owen is already one too many.

"How many guys have you been with?"

Ana scrunches her face at the question, which does not help my worry.

"Twenty…" She answers quickly then looks away from me, picking up her glass of water.

"What?!" I shout, my voice ringing through the apartment. I can't even look at her.

"Twenty? Twenty?" I question a lot softer. My heart stops and my face twists. That many men have touched my woman?

Mine.

I think I'm going to be sick.

I try to steady my breathing, but it's not working and I think I'm hyperventilating. I know I shouldn't be mad….I can't get mad…

But I'm pissed.

Her arm touches my shoulder and I finally look at her again. A growl leaves me when I notice her smirking trying not to laugh

"Oh, Christian. ...I'm kidding…"

"Are you trying to kill me, woman!" I feel as though my heart just exploded in my chest from the sudden stress and relief.

"Maybe." she falls into a fit of giggles.

I tackle her to the ground and start tickling her sides. She's in hysterics, giggle snorts and all.

"That wasn't very nice Anastasia." I nuzzle her neck, "why would you be so evil?"

"Because I love watching you about to explode in jealousy." She says between laughs. "It turns me on…"

I stop my attack and start kissing the sides of her face. "You will pay for that. I don't know how yet, but you will."

"I'm sure I will." She smirks and lifts her head up to kiss me, but I back away and sit back up against the couch, crossing my arms, pretending to still be put off. Though she still answered my question.

"You're denying me kisses?" she playfully huffs and manages to sit back up. She makes loud kissing noises coming at my face, the glint of humor dancing in her eyes. I lift my hand to stop her attacking lips. Her eyebrows snarl in response but her eyes are still dancing.

"No kisses till you tell me the real number."

 _Anything at this point would be better than twenty._

She curls her arm around mine and lays her head on my shoulder. "You're sexy when you stew too, you know that?"

"Stop stalling…" I give her a pointed look and kiss her forehead, to let her know I'm not mad.

"Two," she answers simply.

I sigh in relief. I can deal with two.

Who am I kidding?

No, I can't.

But I will.

"Well, two in that way. I went on a couple dates, but they never led anywhere. Before Owen I dated this guy, he was alright, but like Owen, I couldn't give my heart to him." She shrugs. "Bit like you I didn't want to be alone and become this old maid with twenty cats."

"Now you don't have to worry about that…I hate cats."

She snorts and elbows me in the ribs.

"Anything else you want to know. This is the time to ask…" She pushes, her arms still wrapped around mine.

"I really don't think I have anything. We already talked about the time after your dad died and how I was an idiot again for not telling you how bad I wanted you." I pause, "I know you lusted after me from afar like I did you… that we were hopeless souls…" She shoves my arm again, almost knocking me down and laughs.

"The both of us have always been complete messes when it comes to our feelings. So, nothing? You sure?"

"I'm sure…do you want to take this to the bedroom now?" I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

"Not yet, I do have a couple follow up questions. That way I can put every nagging thought to rest."

"Shoot…"

"In college when you talked to Elena how much were you sharing with her? And what the heck could you possibly be talking about once a week?"

"I ignored most of her calls, the most I had with her were in front of you. I told you before. As for what we talked about is she would check up on me. Once in a while...okay often - she would ask if I was satisfied. I shut her up and never gave away details of our life besides I was happy with you. Near the end it became about the business, you know she knows many prominent business owners, spread my name around. She wanted to help because I said saw this great potential in me. Kissed my ass whenever she could about it. When she said she would give me the money I took it and I shouldn't have. I should've waited for my trust or my parents. It was what I wanted, and I thought I could have you and GEH. I guess I should've known."

"You know she's going to try something. I feel it. She hates me and especially now that I've taken her away from your clutches again."

"I have someone watching her as well, but you're right I wouldn't put it past her. I hate myself for contacting her again. I was just going down a dark path again, losing all control, Ros was threatening to quit because I became more and more impossible to work with, and much like you, liquor was a drink of choice. I figured in some weird way of thinking it helped once, it could help me again. So, I went to a club, just to watch, and that's how Elena found me. I was extremely drunk, belligerent, and she listened as I blamed her, blamed myself. She didn't bad mouth you once. It was just nice to have someone to talk to again. Then she started reminding me how much the lifestyle helped and I fell for it."

Ana's hand caress my cheek and I rest into it.

"I know. I'm not going to hold it against you. It doesn't make you bad. Just please if I ask will you just promise to be honest with me about it? That way there can't be any surprises and no one can use it against us again."

"Yes, I swear. Back then I was so ashamed, disgusted. Seeing that you saw what kind of monster I was…." She puts her thumb to my lips and cuts me off.

"I don't think you being in that lifestyle makes you a monster Christian. I wanted to understand. The hardest thing was seeing you with these other women, loving it, I didn't think I could be enough for you. I wanted it to all go away as much as you did. But learning Elena was still trying to pull you back, with the money and the company. I knew maybe if you went back, it would be simple for her to play mind games with you. Then you automatically saying it wouldn't work if we were apart kind of fed into those thoughts. Also, I had Elliot telling me how I was going to destroy your dreams, hold you back, threatened me on top of it, and I didn't think you would ever believe that. It was too much. I needed to know everything, so I could understand."

Fucking Elliot. I still can't figure out what his problem was with Ana. I asked him a hundred times why he would want Ana out of my life, and I got nothing more than an _'I just fucking did'_ , or ' _she was going to fucking ruin you'_ and _'We had plans to be great together and she held you back because you couldn't think about anything else than her pussy'_." - After that comment, I punched him in the face and cut him out of my life. But something tells me his warped thinking had to do with Elena. I just really have no idea how they got connected, I never saw them together till me and Ana started dating. I don't think about it anymore when Ana starts talking again.

"Okay, my last question. I know you explained some of this before when you told me everything. But I have a clearer mind now, and I guess need to hear it again." She takes a shaky breath "What was it about me that made you stop with the bdsm? Because you were in it, then you weren't. I guess I don't get how I did anything to make you want to stop?"

"It really was because of you. You loved me for me. You touched me and I didn't freak out. It was a sign that I needed you. Sure, sometimes it was hard, or I would tense up, but you made me feel at ease. My mind instantly trusted that you wouldn't hurt me. You're the only one besides my family that can touch me even now and with my family, I still have a hard time. The whole lifestyle at the time I met you was losing my interest. I barely thought of it. I was at college having fun, being in control wasn't a worry. I was getting drunk and doing dares. I went to Harvard and by sophomore year there wasn't a draw for it. Elena was annoying the shit of me and then you came into my life and only you mattered. You were my world. You showed me a different way, showed me I could be loved. I felt human for once. I wanted to forget that I ever did it. I was ashamed. I didn't want you to know because I didn't want you to know that person. I hated him, but at the same time I thought Elena at least cared about me and I could trust her enough." I roll my eyes. "When you found out, my world ended and- I just hated that you knew because then you would always think about it. I knew in that moment I would never be good enough for you…and I already hurt you so much with taking the loan and those pictures Elena gave you. You might have said if I told you it wouldn't matter, but there was no way I thought you could look at me and not hate me."

She nods and moves it my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.

"You made me not care about control, I felt powerful in a different way. Then when you left it all fell apart and maybe it was a nothing to lose feeling. But I was out of control and I needed to get a hold of something…."

"I wouldn't have hated you if you told me. I would have asked a lot of questions and made you give up Elena and the loan. I think that was the hardest part too because I would have asked you to stall your dreams more, even if it was dirty money. That's why I think everything happens for a reason and who knows what would have happened if you told me, but…"

My hand moves to her cheek and brushes the tears falling from her face.

"There's not a day that goes by I wish I stayed naive, maybe stayed with you and broke you down. Followed you to Seattle. I don't know…" she sighs and leans into my hand. "but what I do know is we have our second chance and know what mistakes not to make."

"Never again." I close my eyes tightly, pained by the memories of that December. "I only wish I could go back in time and kick myself in the head, tried harder. I really didn't think you could ever forgive me and when you came back, I proved to you again what a fuck up I was."

Ana grabs the sides of my face, squishing my lips to keep me from talking. "Okay. That's enough. No more going backwards on the what ifs. It's the past and the past is over. I want to go forward with you and I understand a lot better now." I nod.

There's nothing more then I want to do is go forward. I only wish the people trying to keep the past alive would go the fuck away.

She grins and kissing my fish lips.

"I love you…" I tell her through my squished cheeks, so it comes out more like 'I luw ooo'

She laughs letting go of my cheeks, "I love you too."

* * *

The both of us lay comatose, wrapped in each other's arms. The only sounds are our heavy breathing. I take this time to look around her room. She has a picture of her parents that's surrounded by some paintings of flowers. I instantly remember those hanging in our old place, her mother had painted them when Ana was a kid for her room. In the corner of her room on a chair, I spy the stuffed dragon I gave her on our first date. Along with what looks like the photo booth pictures, tucked in its hands. I can't believe she kept it after all these years, after everything that happened.

"You kept it…" I'm murmur

"Hmm…." She hums as she snuggles more into me…

"Exhausted, Miss Steele?" I chuckle…

"Yes, you wore me out…" She places a kiss on my chest.

"Good… you need the sleep…" I brush my hands on her shoulder and stare back at the stuffed animal. "Ana?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"The Dragon… you kept it…Why?"

I know I shouldn't have to ask why, but I do. She has it on display, not tucked away and my curiosity wanting to hear her reasons.

Her head pops up and she looks to the corner and a smile graces her lips. "Why wouldn't I keep it? You gave it to me."

"I don't know, I guess I had visions of you burning my stuff because you hated me."

"I never hated you, Christian. I've told you this. I was hurt, but there was never a single moment that I hated you." She brushes her hand in my hair and down my face. "The time away from you sucked, but I think it might have ended up making us better."

"You might be right,"

"We're going forward… not backwards, remember? Now go to sleep. I have this tyrant that I work for, and I need to be well rested to handle him…" She slyly smiles before sinking back into the bed.

"Tyrant huh?" I roll myself on top of her. "That's not what you were calling him earlier…" I wiggle my eyebrows and kiss the side of her neck. She falls into a fit of giggles.

* * *

 **A/N: Let me know what you think...**

 **And l I know most of you are waiting for Elliot's reason to hate Ana. I think most of you have already guessed a reason and yes it does come down to Elena. We might never have allll his reasons- there was some reasons here but more in chapter 12 as well. This is a talk these two need to have I feel. Next chapter takes our couple to New York and something will happen in relation to who ? is... and more fluff- Chapter 12 will bring us Dinner with the Grey's... Thank you to everyone who is following and reviewing. :) it means everything and really helps push me to keep going.**

 **Also as you might know you can find Watching you on Amazon for pre-sale- Link in profile... :)**


	11. New York is now for lovers

**All mistakes are mine- Enjoy**

* * *

 **Ana:**

I'm lying in the back bedroom of Christian's jet. My legs are wrapped around his waist, my ass on the edge of the bed, and Christian is thrusting into me like a mad man. His lips and teeth trace over my neck and chest, nipping and sucking along their journey of my skin.

"Every trip better be like this from now on, Christian…" I moan.

"Oh, I can promise that..." His lips crash to mine, "always."

He lifts me off the bed into his arms, our connection maintained as he sits on the bed and I now straddle him. My hips slowly bounce as we hold each other, our moans silenced by our kiss, and our hands running over every inch of our bodies.

There's nothing better than making love to this man, our connection has always been powerful, intense. Every kiss and every stroke, means something different, a new expression of our feelings we can't say in words. It's like cupid keeps shooting us with his arrows, making us fall more and more in love with one another.

Three years without this, three years of what ifs, and now it's easy to say we were always meant to come back together. Life just threw in some educational growing bumps along the way.

My core tightens and my fingers tangle in his hair, my mouth parting from his trying to hold off the pending orgasm. Christian grabs my ass forcefully, pulling me down, and stilling my moments, causing to set off the earth quake in my body.

"Holy fuck," I groan, my body quivering and clawing at Christian trying to gain some equilibrium.

"That's a sight…" Christian growls. With his hold on my ass, he lifts me and slams me down on his dick. Over and over again, my head still spinning and another orgasm already building inside of me.

"You going to come again, Ace?"

I make some mumbling sounds that comes out more like 'yaheshey' than a yes.

Christian chuckles deep in his throat as he continues to slam into me. He nuzzles his face in my flopping breast trying to lick, nip, and suck. "You have the best pair of tits Ana," he mumbles.

With one final lift, my core hovering over tip, brushing, teasing for only a second, before ramming me down on his shaft and the both of us exploded. Our screams, mainly mine, fill the cabin.

Christian falls back on the bed and brings me down with him.

"I have to say, I really love this bedroom more now than when I bought this jet." Christian says brushing my hair back the rolling us to our sides, where we stay snuggled together.

"Yes, what better way to renew our mile-high membership. So much easier than those tiny bathrooms." I giggle.

We used to sneak into those bathrooms and I always pictured one of us coming out with a blue leg like Chevy Chase in the last family vacation movies.

"Mmmm." he hums against my lips, "those were some good times."

"But these are even better." I gently kiss him, "but as much as I'm loving this, do you think we could- I dunno- sleep before we land. I still haven't recovered from the four a.m. wake up call."

"You sleep and I'm going to try and get some work done before our meeting."

"No…stay." I pout and wrap my arms around him tighter.

He chuckles and kisses my nose, "how can I say no to that?"

* * *

I'm awoken by feather kisses on my face, I groan and push the intruding face away.

"You need to get up, Ana." Christian says and pulls the blankets off me.

"Christian…." I whine, reaching out for another blanket, my eyes still glued shut. I just want to sleep, I feel as though I haven't in days, and if I think about it I really haven't.

"You still need to get dressed. We're landing in twenty minutes."

"No." I whine like the child I am when it comes to waking up when I'm not ready. I've always been one of those people that if I don't wake up on my own, it's a pain for me to get moving. Even worse when someone is making me do it. Used to drive my parents bonkers.

Christian laughs and hovers over me, "you know I didn't think I would miss what a pain in the ass you are to wake up, but I did." I feel his nose trace down my face to my neck, to my chest. "And if I remember there was only one way to make you perk up." I barely hear him, his wet lips kissing down my stomach. I'm already moaning knowing what's about to come.

That magic tongue of his.

His fingers trace my folds and like I knew he would, he sucks hard on my clit. I fight to keep my eyes close but it's no use when his tongue starts lapping up my juices and the sounds that leave his mouth when he does it, only makes my belly tighten more.

"Fuck, always so damn good, Anastasia." He murmurs and inserts his fingers in me. His dark grey eyes meet mine. There almost sinister looking and it spurs something in me. My hands reach out for his hair, but he moves away, making me groan at the loss of his tongue but thankfully his fingers are still working me over. I was so close.

"Uh-uh little girl."

"Why?" I pout. His fingers torture me, doing a come-hither movement that drives me insane.

"Figure it your punishment…" He smirks and I roll my eyes.

"For what? Not wanting to get out of bed, I didn't think it was such a crime." I bite. He's driving me to the brink and then cuts off the damn gas at the end.

"I love it when your feisty." He chuckles. "You want to come Anastasia."

"Yes. Stop teasing me…" I squirm, trying to get more friction from his fingers.

"Never…" He removes his fingers from me and I instantly shoot up. Glaring at him. I'm going to kill him.

"Oh, good you're up…" He smirks, looking positivity pleased with himself.

Yep I'm going to kill him. I roll off the bed and go after him. I only need to take a couple steps in the tiny bedroom to reach him. I grab him by the neck and try to tackle him down to the bed, but the asshole picks me up and I instinctively wrap myself around him.

His mouth crashes to mine and between us I can feel him working the button and zipper of his pants. "Hang on baby." He mutters. I clamp onto his shoulders and he pushes me against the wall. His dick is free and I'm quickly impaled by him.

* * *

After eight grueling hours of sitting in a boardroom, I the only woman in the room, I'm ready to drown myself in a bottle of wine. Hell, a half a bottle would be enough for me. I may never drink as heavy as I did in college – or the last time I was in Portland with Christian- but I think I can now be at a point to enjoy and relax.

Also, I'm starving. Lunch was a salad between all the arguing and debates of numbers. At least we finally have mostly everything under control.

"Can we get something to eat and then I don't sit in front of the TV?" I ask as I wrap my arm around his. He laughs as we walk out of the building.

"Not yet, I have something else planned for us." His eyes light up brightly as he tells me. Taylor and Sawyer flank behind us as we head down the sidewalk.

"Is there food involved?"

"Yeah. We're going to go to that pizza place you like and then I have something else up my sleeve for the evening."

"I've seen New York, Christian. I don't need a tour, unless it's to getting to know every inch of our room."

"Well, it's not a tour and I think you will like it."

"Fine. If I have too." I groan playfully.

"You have too."

We stroll along the busy street, we watch a man and woman run into each other, the guy ends up spilling his coffee—everywhere, including all over the woman. Luckily the girl doesn't seem upset or fazed. When he helps her up I swear I see sparks ignite. I guess love is in the New York air.

We grab a couple of slices and I inhale them like my last meal. Sometimes the best meals come in the form of grease and fat. You only live once and I was never big on fancy meals.

"Did you have enough?" Christian jokes as I tear off his last pepperoni.

"For now. Now what?"

"You ask to many questions, you know that. You'll see."

We clear our plates and we walk about six blocks, arriving at Madison Square Park.

"What are we doing here?" I marvel at the scene in front of us. the trees and plants are covered in lights, the foundation has multi-color lights that bounce of the flowing water.

"I thought we could go for a walk, enjoy the fresh air from being inside all day." Christian tells me, pulling me deeper into the park. I just have a feeling there's more than just a walk in the park involved here.

I hear music out in the distance and that's when I quickly notice nobody else is here. This is New York, where the hell are the hordes of people?

"Christian where is everyone?"

He smiles at me, that smile that tells me he has something up his sleeve.

"Let's just say this is a private event."

"A private event, huh?" I shake my head, in amazement.

We walk just a little further past the fountain to an open field, in the center is a small band, playing an instrumental to " _You're still the one…"_

"I love this, when did you do this?" I ask as he pulls me into his arms and we sway to the music. I look around and notice a bunch of guards around the perimeter.

God knows he would have had to pull permits and hire all these people. No way he did this is a day. I don't care how rich the bastard is.

"Even though I shut down you last week. I had planned to make it up to you here. I've had this spinning around in my head since you took the job. Knowing we were coming to New York helped make it a reality. I wanted to wow you, impress you, show you how we can be great again…"

"Christian, you did those things. Portland was a good example. But you also impress and wow me by just being yourself, well expect when you were in a jealous, broadening fit, but jus seeing you, touching you, reminds me how good we were. I didn't need the convincing I needed the words. Words I know were hard for us both to find. You know I don't need crazy hoopla"

"But you don't hate it…" He smiles and rest his forehead to mine.

"No, I don't hate. It came from you...and this definitely would have helped lessen my anger if you were still ignoring me."

"I love you, Anastasia. You don't know how much I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and this is all going to be a dream."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere. I'm where I want to be."

The strands to Ed Sheeran's Perfect start and I can't help the grin on my face. I'll never get tired of this song. It makes me ooey gooey and it's ours. After we broke up I would hear it all the time and it would drive me mad. Then slowly I stopped hearing it and I started to miss it. Because that was one of my happiest memories of us making love for the first time and I realized no matter what I didn't want to lose that memory.

A smooth voice starts to sing the lyrics and Christian and I move closer to one another.

 _ **Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet**_

 _ **I never knew you were the someone waiting for me**_

 _ **'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love**_

 _ **Not knowing what it was**_

 _ **I will not give you up this time**_

"There was so much I wanted to tell you last time we danced to this song… and now it holds more meaning because we're back together…"

I run my hand down his face and he's right - this song was part of our first time and now it's part of our restart.

 _ **But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own**_

 _ **And in your eyes you're holding mine**_

 _ **Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms**_

 _ **Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song**_

 _ **When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath**_

 _ **But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight**_

"The song is also what gave me the idea for tonight and I remember you told me it was something you always wanted to do."

"Yeah because every time we thought about it in the moment it was either raining or snowing…"

I thought the weather was crazy in Seattle but it's even more nuts in Boston. I don't care what anyone else says.

"Remember that snow storm and we were stuck inside for almost a week?"

"How could I forget. Did we ever get dressed?" I giggle. I remember the day like it was yesterday. We turned the heat up, locked all the doors, empty the liquor cabinet, and clothes, they weren't an option. Those are the days I look back on fondly and remind me how good we were together. We didn't need anything but each other's company. Hell, we literally lived off pop-tarts and roman noodles that week because we forgot to go to the store before the storm. Those are moments I would love to have again.

"I don't think so… and it involved lots of drinking and naked twister." He remembers fondly.

"To bad it doesn't really snow in Seattle…" I raise my eyebrow at him.

"I'm a billionaire… I can think of something…"

I giggle and rubs my face in his chest. "It might be easier to run off to Aspen…" I joke.

"It could be arranged…my parents still have that cabin…"

A shiver runs through my spin thinking about even more racy times with this man- especially that one wild summer we spent there. Thank god, for birth control because I think we would have ended up with hundreds of babies, because god damn we were bunnies.

Hell, we are again.

Which reminds me I need a refill.

 _ **Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know**_

 _ **She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home**_

 _ **I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets**_

 _ **To carry love, to carry children of our own**_

 _ **We are still kids, but we're so in love**_

 _ **Fighting against all odds**_

 _ **I have faith in what I see**_

 _ **Now I know I have met an angel in person**_

 _ **And she looks perfect**_

 _ **I don't deserve this**_

 _ **You look perfect tonight**_ …

"Maybe we should get married…" He muses aloud as the singer finishes the song.

What the hell? Talk about coming out of left field.

I fall into a fit of giggles, "What? No…" I stop when I get a look at him. Holy shit he was serious. No, he can't be...I place both my hands on his cheek. "Christian you can't be serious…"

"He shrugs, "what if I am?" He questions me, his eyes boring into me.

"We've only been back together for two days. Maybe one day… but Christian _now_?" I'm flabbergasted by this.

I mean if I'm honest would it be the worst thing in the world to do… no. It would be insane. We still have some issues we need to get fully over, we need to know each other again. The newer versions of ourselves.

"I know. I just know I want you forever. If the whole Elena thing never happened. I mean all together, like she didn't take advantage of me, or her having that hold on me." He pauses, trying to dance around what he wants to say. Words I know he struggles to admit. "I think we would be married already. Maybe a rugrat or two…"

" _Or_ maybe we wouldn't. Who's to say that things happened like this for a reason to make us stronger, so we do last forever. We could have gotten married and not worked. We'll never know." I reason with him.

"Honestly," Christian grabs my chin, "If we got married back then I would have never let you go. Because I would have already been honest with you, and I would have worked so much harder. Sure, we might never know. But I like to think it would've worked. But know when it does happen I vow right now to you, that I will do everything in my power to keep you happy. I will never hurt you again and cherish you till your final breath."

My mouth pops open and my eyes water over at his decoration. I'm lost for words… and I don't have time to even process them when she swoops me in a kiss and I'm lost as the music starts to play again.

* * *

"This was the most perfect night, Christian" I tell him as the musicians start to pack up and we are laid out on a blanket looking at the stars. We've danced, we gave the band a show with an intense make out session, fed each other strawberries, till we settled on the ground to stare into the sky. New York doesn't have many of the stars Boston had, but it was perfect nonetheless. I swear it's like I'm in some romance movie.

"Well, I plan to take you back to the hotel and make it even more special for you…"

"Is that so? Don't you think we should get some sleep with another long day in negotiations tomorrow?"

"No, I don't think we should. That's what coffee is for." He winks and kisses me softly.

"I guess you're right. I did want to test out how soft that mattress was… and the couch. And wondered if the bar could hold both of us…" I slyly grin.

"I think it can…"

"But coffee is a must tonight and tomorrow. Maybe we can stop at my favorite coffee shop on the way back."

"Yeah, of course." A look crosses his face and he falls quiet, looking back up at the sky.

"What's wrong?"

His head rolls back to me.

"Thinking about one of the times I came here awhile back. I was on a business trip and I had also wanted to come see you…"

"What?" I sit up and he remains laying down with his hand behind his head, lost.

"It was about two months after your dad died. I did feel awful for leaving. We weren't talking as much as we used to. I wanted to come and tell you I was sorry, that I missed you, I don't know. If I'm honest I had nothing planned. I needed to see you. Maybe I had hoped you were unhappy here and I could take you away." He chuckles softly.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"

"I wanted to surprise you." He sits up and takes my hand in his. "Then I saw you walking with a couple of girls out of this coffee shop on 2nd. You looked so happy, beautiful." He smiles at the memory, then a frown washes over his handsome face. "I thought I would call you… just to tease you and be like turn around, I called, and you looked at your phone, and then stuffed it back in your purse."

My stomach drops, "Christian, I might have just not wanted to be rude." I try to reason. It wasn't like me not to take his calls, unless I was at work or a function. I wouldn't even be able to pull of the memory of what I was doing that day. Was that a miss opportunity… again…

A tear slips from my face and Christian's thumb reaches out and brushes it away. "Don't cry, I wasn't even mad. I knew you were busy, but it still stung. Also, just seeing how happy you were, you had friends…"

 _Something he didn't really have…_

"You called me later that night going on and on about your day and your new friends. I could hear how happy you were, so like the coward I am, I didn't tell you I was there. You were happy and okay, and that was enough for me."

"The spirits really didn't want us together back then, did they?"

"They did, but it worked out in the end. There's was no way I was going to take you away from where you shined. It really did blow my mind when you said you would take the COO job." He lays a light kiss on my lips. "I didn't bring it up to upset you, but I realized I didn't tell you…and remember no more secrets."

I nod, "just sometimes it's hard to wrap around how many chances we had to be here because we were stubborn." I wipe my face and giggle. I move myself to sit in his lap and wrap myself around him.

"I wanna go back to the hotel and I want to make love, fuck you, for the rest of the night."

"Well, what do you know. That's just what I had in mind."

* * *

Hand in hand we walk out of the hotel. My body is still sore from last night activities. I don't think we left an inch of the suite untouched and now I have to sit through a long drawn out meeting, where all I can't think about now is his fingers, his mouth…

"Are you thinking the same thing I am, Miss Steele?"

My head turns to his direction, his eyes have darkened and he licks his lips, looking me over.

My stomach lurches and I have no idea how I want more of him already.

Beautiful fucking bastard.

"No, I'm just going over some numbers." I lie.

"Uh-huh." he laughs and pulls me into his arms, my body flushed with his. "I didn't think making a deal would make you blush so hard. I thought it might have something to do with the merger we made last night and this morning." He whispers into my ear, giving me goosebumps.

"I have no idea what-" I stop when out of the corner of my eye I see a blonde with sunglasses staring at us. There's something different about her.

Did this woman really follow us to New York?

"Christian, she's here…" I whisper. My body spins to tell Taylor, but he's already going after her. Sawyer moves in closer to us.

"Sir, Ma'am, I need you guys to get into the car." Sawyers says firmly not to be argued with the hotshot that is gripping my hand. We are ushered to the car. He opens the door and we both slide in heeding Sawyers request and he closes the door behind us.

Christian scoots over and puts his arm around me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just wish I understood what was going on. I mean this person followed us to New York and how would she know were staying? And what the hell do they want? Is someone working with Elena or you Ex? I'm a nobody…" I ramble off, trying to wrap my mind around this. I figured New York would be safe. No worries.

"I wish I had the answers, but we'll get to the bottom of this." He kisses my forehead and rubs my back.

"Have there been anymore of those threats?"

"No."

I want to scream out my frustration, but I don't. My eyes drift to the windshield and I see Taylor and the girl walking back. She's talking and seems to be willing because she's not fighting under Taylor's grip around her shoulder.

"Do you know her?" I ask Christian, who is squinting at the two.

"No idea…" he answers confused.

Sawyer takes a hold of the girl and leads her into the hotel and Taylor knock on the window. Christian rolls it down.

"Were taking her inside to talk to her more. I think you're going to want to head what she has to say. I'll call Morgan house for you and let them know of your hold up." Taylor tells us and we pile out of the car,

We settle into a conference room and the girl is sitting at the table twiddling with her fingers. She looks nervous.

And like I thought before a little different from the last girl I saw.

"This is Miss Heartfield… she's 22 inspiring actress…" Taylor snorts. "Tell them what you told me."

"Um… you see I was offered a job- when I took it I had no idea what I was going to be doing- I thought it was an acting job- I was told to show randomly at where you guys would be. I was given times of when you were more likely to show up. I was to report everything I saw and let myself be seen, but not caught."

"And you didn't see anything wrong with that?" Christian asks appalled. "You do know stalking is a serious crime."

"I know, I know." she shakes her head, trying not to cry. "When I was paid before I was told what I would be doing. I thought maybe you guys were in on it… I don't know the money was too good to pass up. I _needed_ it. I answered this ad for an acting gig on-line, 'looking for blonde actresses, needed a.s.a.p. Big money.' When I got there…"

"Where's there?" Christian asks.

"Oh, it was this 501 1st Ave. It looked to be an old dance studio. There were ten other girls. We all stood in a line and he picked me out of the lineup. I guess I should've known there was something wrong with it because we didn't have to audition. In the back of my mind, I thought I just fit the build of what he was looking for." She sighs, and starts circling her finger around the desk. "He paid me two-thousand dollars in cash and told me I would get more if I succeed. He wouldn't tell me what the job was till I took the money."

"What if he was telling you to kill us or something else illegal?" I ask. Who just accepts something without wondering what the fuck you're getting into? The money might be nice, but you can't enjoy it if your locked up.

"I asked and he swore it wouldn't be anything crazy. Actually, very simple. And you might not understand, because you guys are loaded, but two-thousand dollars for me is a lot of money. I have to work two jobs in hopes one day I'll get my big break." She bows her head. "I'm sorry. I just…" she trails off.

Christian is about to say something, probably give her lecture but I cut him off. "It's fine. I can somewhat understand that. But the best thing you can do now is help us find out who hired you. Do you know anything about him?"

"He said his name was Roger Wright. He had jet black hair, a little on the heavy side, a beard, and green eyes. He didn't give me the creeps like most producers do, but his eyes seemed to be lacking life."

I'm trying to rack my brain for anyone I might know that looks like that, but nothing is coming to me.

"I don't know anyone that fits that description, Ana?" I shake my head, and Christian rubs his chin. "I'm sure the name is fake. He had to have known you could've gotten caught and might tell us… Taylor have Barney look into the name. See if he can trace the ad that Miss Heartfield answered and the place she "auditioned." Christian looks down at his watch. "We need t get downtown for that meeting. Martin can take us and you and Sawyer can" he throws up his hands. "Figure out what to do with her or if you need anything else form her."

"Did you want to connect the police."

"NO!" The girl screams. "No, please don't. I'm sorry I swear. I'll give you whatever you need, do whatever you tell me. Please I didn't think I was hurting anyone..." Large tears roll down her face. I can see her guilt and remorse all over her face and I don't think this is acting. If she was this good she would be in Hollywood already.

I look at Christian and plead with him not to get the cops involved. It's not like they'll be able to figure out anything more than what he hires his own to do. Christian bites the inside of his cheek.

"No. Just get all the information out of her and stick with her till we get out of New York."

Christian grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room. The girl still crying and I'm not even sure she heard that she wasn't going to jail.

Once the both of us get outside, Christian and screams frustrated. I quickly wrap my arms around him and bury my head in his chest. I feel him relax under my touch and he puts his arms around me in return.

"If anything ever happened to you…" He murmurs.

"Nothing is going to happen to me. We just have to stay together through this."

"Maybe I should call Elena. If she's behind this... "

I push myself out of his arms and cross my arms. His eyebrows cross unsure of my reaction.

"No. You will not contact her. She won't tell you anything even if she is involved. Have your team handle it… but no Elena is a hard limit. Watermelon!"

Christian's face breaks out into a grin, at my ridiculous safe word. He shakes his head. "Okay. I won't. Now will you come back here." He waves me over with his arms open

"No…" I simply say dropping my arms to my side.

"Ana…" he growls.

"We have a meeting to get to...if I wrap back in your arms, we will never leave." I smirk and walk to the car and Martin opens the door for me.

I slide in all the way, and I hear Christian mumble something to Martin, but I can't understand what he says, before he slides in next to me.

Christian doesn't move to touch me and looks out the opposite window. The car starts and moves out into traffic.

"What?" I ask him, still staring at him. He shrugs his shoulders and I sigh, turning my attention to the traffic out my window.

There's a buzzing noise and in the corner of my eye I see the divider come up. I go to look at Christian, just in time for him to grab my face and press his lips to mine. I moan at the force of his kiss and melt to him. He breaks away from me, his dark lustful eyes looking into me.

"We have twenty minutes at least. I think we should make the best use of it."

I don't have time to answer when his lips come crashing down to mine again and his hand slips up my skirt.

* * *

 **? pov.**

It seems my little actress was found.

Just as planned.

I love wild goose chases.

Because they're to blind to what is right in front of them.

Perfect.

* * *

 **Let me know what you think :)**

 **Chapter 12 I think will get you more information 13 will bring you more clarity and well after that- I'm sorry...very sorry :).. So enjoy the fluff ;p**

 **Also I'm not a huge Ed Sheeran fan- but "prefect" is prefect for my couple-**

 **Also did anyone notice a little shout out to Watching you? Lol- 9 days you all**


	12. dinner with the greys - old memories

**A/N: I know you're all itching to find out who ? is. So I'm sorry if anyone thinks this is moving to slow…. But I really needed to show Ana and Christian's growing bond and love with each other…you find out much more this chapter and the next…(thank Star for your help and Kelly for pre-reading for me)**

 **Christian:**

We arrived back from New York Thursday night. Friday at the office was a blur of piled up paperwork and meetings from the days I was gone. It's one of the struggles of business trips, is falling behind on everything else. Correction- old me would have worked every second at the hotel after meetings. It's being with Ana again that makes me fall behind, however, I much rather bury myself in Ana then paperwork any day.

Now it's Saturday afternoon and Ana and I are heading to my parents' house for lunch. My mom and dad are going to be over the moon when they find out we're back together again. I've been waiting to surprise them with the news. I have a feeling my dad is going to be telling me, 'I told you so.'

I'm waiting in the living room, dressed down in jeans and a t-shirt. Ana is still in my bedroom getting ready. I was disappointed when she told me she wanted to stay at her place tonight, the thing is I don't want her to leave. I know starting over means starting over, but god damn, I don't want to start over from point A because if she thinks for one second I'm not spending the night with her she has another thing coming. Even in college, we went back and forth between places and it was rare that we spent the night apart. On top of having these threats on us, there's no way she's going to be left alone.

Nothing came to light with the information Miss Heartfield gave us. Barney is still trying to trace the ad, cameras, anything, to figure out who the hell hired this girl. So far, nothing, nada. Whoever the fuck this is, knows how to cover their tracks and it's pissing me the fuck off.

There's at least hundred Rodger Wrights that match what the girl told us over the coastal United States. I've been racking my brain on who it can be and who is the blonde that's been following Ana around Seattle. Is she just another actress too?

"Mr. Grey?" Taylor calls out stepping into the room.

"What is it, Taylor?"

He doesn't say anything and pulls out his phone. He clicks a couple things before handing it over to me to see. I look at the screen and before me is a picture of Ana and I at Madison Park, kissing in the middle of the field. This one has a caption, about an office love affair, and a possible marriage proposal with a band and all.

"This has now been published all over the internet and magazines. Also, as soon as the pictures went live Barney got another e-mail-"

Taylor slides his finger on the screen and the email appears.

 **I HAVE EYES AND YOU'RE STILL RUNNING BLIND.**

"Were they able to trace this?" I hand Taylor back his phone and run my hands through my hair. "What the fuck does he mean by eyes?" I mutter. The girls... are there more?

"I thought about the meaning behind the eyes and have had the security systems swiped for interference and there was nothing. I also traced the house, GEH, and Ana's apartment for any other type of cameras and there was nothing found. Though I still haven't figured out how Elena managed a code. As for the email, It traced back to Maine, like the last one did. I sent a couple of guys out there to check the location and see what they can come up with."

"Good, but it wouldn't surprise me if it's another dead end."

The sound of Ana's heels click on the marble floor, greeting us to her entrance. I turn to see her and she's wearing a black skirt, and a lace white top, covered by a jean jacket. She looks sensual, as always.

"Something wrong?" She looks at me concerned and wraps her arm around my waist.

"We got another threat and our picture from New York at the park made the internet," I tell her, kissing the top of her head, and placing my arm around her.

Taylor hands her his phone. She looks over the items and sighs, "and still no idea who…"

"No."

"Do you think it could have been that girl that took the picture?" Ana asks and hands Taylor back his phone.

"Honestly, Miss Steele, no. Though I could be wrong, we checked her phone and she didn't have anything on it, nor did she have a camera on her. She was very willing to help us, even though it leads to another dead end. I believe she was just a pawn, but at this point, anything could surprise me. I will be in contact with her regarding this. I have compiled the list of individuals we deemed a threat. The only person we can't find is Elliot Grey."

"Still? There's nothing on him at all. I don't understand how he can just completely vanish?"

 _Where the fuck are you Elliot?_

"I mean the guy in New York could be him… he's likely one of the only people besides Elena that would want us apart or has some hidden agenda. Didn't you say you refused to help him expand his business?"

"I did. But I did that years ago. Why target you and why do all of this now?"

"Cause I'm sure whatever it is, Elena is behind it. And why not me? He hates me…" I nod, this is very true. "They always did seem buddy-buddy. More than you two."

"Do whatever you have to do to find him," I tell Taylor and he leaves us to go get the car ready. I grab Ana's hand back, "I'll talk to my parents, maybe they know where he is, but we need to get going. You know how my mother gets when we're running late."

Ana giggles in reply. "Yeah, I remember. And I remember every time we were late was your fault."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say feigning innocence. We walk towards the elevator and when it opens I push her in and up against the wall. "I remember it was you that could never say no." I grin wickedly and slam my lips to hers, and lifting her in my arms, quickly losing myself in her.

* * *

We pull up the long driveway of my parent's house and I look over at Ana who seems to pensive as she looks out the window. I reach over and grab her hand as Taylor parks the car. She turns and gives me a small smile.

"I wanted to surprise my folks with your appearance- and let them know we're back together but I have a feeling the internet beat us to it. They're going to be so happy to see you."

"I'm going to be happy to see them too. It's just.." her voice trails off and her lips twist together.

"What?"

"The last time I was here wasn't happy. I'm trying to push out those memories out…but" she shakes her head, "like what if Elliot does show up?"

"I doubt he will."

 _But if he does, I'll beat the ever living shit out of him._

I reach over and kiss her, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. "I think we're going to have to make some new memories to replace those old ones."

She gives me a little giggle, "Well, we do have a few untouched places left." She bites her lips and bats her eyes at me subjectively.

"And you used to say I had a one-track mind."

"What can I say, I know what I want." She smiles at me and moves out of the car and I follow suit.

We're barely out of the car before my mother and father come charging towards us and wrap Ana in their arms. I shake my head when I notice my mother crying. Sometimes I wonder if they were as upset as I was when we broke up. They also thought I would be marrying Ana. Well, I did ask my mother's advice on a ring. At first, all they knew was I made a mistake and hurt her. Now they know everything, my mom promptly called me a moron for my actions but then cried for being so blind with Elena.

I only wished I listened to them when they kept telling me to go after her, try harder. They saw what a mess I was, but I could just never do it. I'm just glad I finally listened to my dad and offered her the job.

"Oh, darling Ana, we missed you!" My mother squeezes her tightly, then looks her over. "You've only gotten prettier."

"Thank you, Grace." She smiles as my dad hugs her again.

"It just hasn't been the same! So glad you're back sweetie. Someone needs to keep my son in line." My dad jokes and I roll my eyes.

"And hi to you too… mom, dad." I grumble, left to kick a stone along the drive.

I knew they missed Ana, but never believed how much until now. They loved Ana as their own, but I think respected me enough not to always tell me how they felt about her unless I was to bring it up.

"You, my boy, are late." Grace scolds as she finally moves away from Ana.

"Well, you can blame Ana for that one," I smirk and Ana glares at me.

"You thought we believed you before, did you really think we'd believe it again, Christian?" Carrick shakes his head and shakes my hand. "Come, let's head inside. Mia was still getting ready last time I checked."

My mom ushers us into the house to the living room.

"So how have you been Ana?"

"I've been good. It's definitely been a whirlwind month that's for sure." Ana looks over and smiles.

"Well, that's good. I saw those pictures of you two in New York and I for one am happy my son finally got his head out of his ass and did something about winning you back."

"Mom!" I say shocked. Since when did she start saying ass? It was always a cuss word in her book.

"Don't mom me. You've been pining for her for forever. I'm glad you woke up." I roll my eyes in response.

"Actually Grace I think it's fair to say we both woke up and conquered what we both wanted."

"Good. I knew you two would find your way together again somehow. Now tell me what you've been up to all these years."

Ana tells them about after her graduation how she moved to New York to start working. I was taken surprise when they told me they went to her graduation.

 _Why didn't they tell me that? I would've gone as well._

I'm about to ask when my hurricane of a sister comes into the room. "Ana" she calls out and wraps Ana in her arms.

When did I become chop liver?

"Mia." Ana greets.

"I'm so glad you're here. We have so much to talk about."

She giggles and looks at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "Like those pictures, _damn_. I never knew Christian could be so romantic. Good job bro."

She pats my arm and I notice Ana blush. "Christian was always romantic" Ana grabs my hand, "I'm just glad it never changed."

"Come let's sit down to eat. I went a little crazy in the kitchen today." My mother smiles, leading us over to the dining table.

We sit down to eat, and my mother wasn't lying about the food. There are at least 10 different dishes sitting on the table. That tells me more than just being excited about Ana coming over. It's how she keeps her mind off things. Like everything, I confessed to her last Monday.

"This all looks good, Grace. It's been awhile since I've had a home-cooked meal." Ana says scooping some potatoes on her plate.

"Yeah mom, it looks like your trying to feed an army."

My mom chuckles nervously, "well, just a small one. Plus, leftovers will keep for a week. Now eat."

Sitting around the table, all of us laughing, cracking jokes at my expense makes it feel as though we're back to the years when me and Ana used to come home for break. I haven't laughed like this with my family in years and it feels good to feel like this again. I feel lighter, at peace, finally. The only thing missing Is the evil stares of Elliot Grey.

"Have you guys heard from Elliot since he left?"

My mother drops her fork to her table, her happy face now with a deep frown. My dad also wearing the same expression.

"No. We have no idea where he is. Frankly, I'm worried about him. Even when he was in college he would check in once a week." My mom pauses. "I'm trying to figure where I went wrong with you boys."

"Mom." I push back my chair and move over to her. I lift her from her seat and pull her into a hug.

"You didn't do anything wrong, mom." She shakes her head in my chest and sniffs back her tears.

"I did. I let that _woman_ into our lives. Thinking she was some friend. Never in my wildest dreams did I think she could take advantage of you. She's known you all since you were tiny. The loan, the company, I just thought it was gifts, trying to be nice, encourage you. To her those were nothing. She could give things like that away like candy. I mean she did the same for Elliot, but he blew it all."

What? Elena gave Elliot money? When?

"I didn't know that…"

"Oh yes, he actually blew it twice. When you were about 16. I remember Elena being mad, but then she tried again years later and the company never got off the ground again. It was right around the time you and Ana… um broke up. Maybe a little bit before that though. I can't quite remember. Sadly, Elliot never had that same drive as you. He's smart, tech-savvy, but he just expects things to happen for him, that his ideas were enough to keep a business going. She invested a lot in Elliot and started blaming us for her losing almost everything."

I look towards Ana and I can see the slight shock on her face. It's all coming together little by little.

I really was his cash cow. I'm guessing Ana was the one that put a damper on that for him. If I stayed in Boston then I couldn't give him the money, because I would have delayed my startup. But how does that connect him with Elena instead of being pissed about the money she lost.

Elena ended up about two years ago losing almost everything. She made some bad deals and her ex-swindled money from her offshore accounts in which he thought were owed to him. I'm sure it's partly why she tried to be so nice to me and want to "help" since I paid her for her services and then gave her back the money I owed her – slowly.

"Do you think Elena and Elliot? Like me?" I mumble.

My mother puts her hand over her mouth. "Oh god."

"I just never vision the two- together like that- not till now." My mom and dad look positivity green.

I don't get how I couldn't, why I couldn't. Did I just not want to see it?

"If I think back then there might have been signs, I just never did or wanted to... Mia?" I ask as I try to dig through my memory banks of when I was fifteen, sixteen or anytime I would have seen them acting like they've seen each other naked. I never got that vibe- he never went to her house I don't think. I could have sworn they avoided each other till right around the time I started dating Ana. It was what seemed like an overnight change in how he felt about the girl I loved. Happy for us to hating in seconds. Elena came over more when we were home.

I want to bang my head against the wall. Fucking blind as hell.

I should've trusted Ana more when she told me Elliot was out for her. He was my brother- someone I used to think was my biggest supporter- I just walked around with my head in the clouds thinking not everyone gets along or they'll get used to each other eventually.

"I never noticed anything. But…." Mia's mouth drops open like she's having an ah-ha moment.

"A few months ago, I saw them together outside this building. I can't remember what building. They were talking animatedly. I was with my friend driving by and couldn't stop. But I didn't think much of it besides Elliot had put some weight on."

Mia and Elliot stopped talking, unless they had to, once she found out what he helped do to Ana and me.

"I can't believe I never saw it. He kept saying he had girlfriends, but he never did bring them around. I just assumed- he didn't want them to involved." my mother cries. "There were signs… I'm gonna kill her…"

"I'll help." Ana snarls. Then her eyes go wide. I'm sure not meaning to say I out loud.

My mom gives a small giggle. "I would need all the help I could get. Where do I find her?" She turns to me.

"According to the person I have following her says she's in LA with a relative. No signs of Elliot with her, but he might not look the same either."

"Hmm…" My mother hums before shaking her head, "I need to freshen up." She dabs her face and leaves the room quickly.

I sigh and fall back into my chair running my hands down my face. I feel Ana's hand on my leg and I turn to look at her.

"You okay?" She whispers to me. "I didn't realize you told them everything before."

I give her a small smile, "I only did on Monday. I figured it was time." I pick up her hand and put it to my lips. "I feared they were going to hate me, but it was quite the opposite. I think it might have brought us closer, though I think my mom is a permanent wreck. Elliot was staring us clear in the face. How did…"

"Nobody saw it with you either. Not even me… when you want to keep things hidden bad enough you can."

That was a direct hit in the jugular, "Ana…."

She moves her face to mine and presses her lips to me, "I love you…" she runs her hand down my face, "I was just trying to make a point. You can't blame yourself, no one can, for not seeing it. All anyone can do now is try to fix it. Plus, maybe it's not the same but maybe he was manipulated differently. We won't know until we find him."

"You're right, but I think he was - I just didn't think Elliot was as vulnerable as me. He used to seem to always have it together."

No matter what I've been blind and I wonder if some of his hate has to do with Elena coming to me or is it just because Elena told him too, to try and get her money back through me? I hate myself more and more for falling into the trap of Elena Lincoln.

The doorbell rings loudly through the room and throws us out of the moment. My dad twists his eyebrows together.

"Wonder who that could be?" My dad questions, getting up from his seat to move to the door. The rest of us continue to eat until escalated voices from the front door. I can't make out what is being said, but I quickly recognize Taylor's voice, demanding who is ever at the front door, wanting to know who sent them.

Ans looks at me curiously and I take her hand. "I'm going to go check it out. Stay here." I kiss her forehead and rise from my seat. I know she wants to argue with me, but thankfully she listens.

I walk to the foyer and at the front door stands a frightened teenager, my dad who is on the phone, and Taylor looking through an envelope.

"What's going on?" All the heads snap to me.

"I was just doing my job. I swear," the kid holds his hands up defensively.

Taylor stuffs the papers back in the manila envelope and dare I say, he looks a little green by its contents.

"Andrew here was asked to deliver this package to you, Mr. Grey, today and at this time. He works at a courier services downtown. Your father is checking to see if he can find out who delivered the letter to be sent. It seems to be another threat, sir."

"How the hell did they know I would be here?" I question out loud but asking more to myself. The only people that knew I would be here are Ana, my parents, and Taylor.

Then I remember what the email said this morning about him having eyes on us, and us still being blind.

"We need to figure out how this asshole is figuring out our every move. What did this say?" I point towards the envelope. Taylor hesitates.

"Hey, can I go now?" The teenager pipes up.

I look towards my dad for an answer and he nods, "I confirmed his employment. He's fine. The manager is checking the tape to see if he can find out who dropped off the letter."

"Yes, go." I wave the kid off who quickly makes a run for it. "Taylor?" I put my hand out for the envelope.

"I'm not sure if you want to see Mr. Grey. It might be better to confirm the authenticity of it."

"I just want to know what it days."

"Maybe Miss Steele should be with you. It involves her too." My eyebrows knit together at his unwillingness to hand this letter over and it only spikes my curiosity. "In private," he adds.

Okay, now I'm concerned.

"Why don't you guys go to the library and talk." My dad says walking over to me and gripping my shoulder, "and listen to her before you overthink."

"What the fuck is in there?"

"I'll go get Ana for you, son. And also check on your mother." He walks away towards the dining room.

"How bad is it Taylor?" I cross again. I hate this back and forth shit.

"Bad, but I would listen to your father. There's something- off about them-"

"Them?"

"What's going on?" Ana's voice comes from behind me.

"I'm not sure yet, I've been given the runaround..." I reach out for her hand and she willingly takes it. "Let's go to the library and talk."

The three of us walk into the library. This was one of Ana's favorite rooms at my parent's house. She used to tell me she always dreamed of having a library like this one day in her place and one day when we get a place of our own, I'm going to make sure it's ten times better than this one.

"Okay now, will you tell us what is going on…"

Taylor nods and hands me the manila envelope…. Finally.

I open it up and pull out a stack of photos. There's a note attached to the first picture and I feel sick to my stomach when I see the image and reading the note doesn't help any.

 **What do you think of your little slut now? To think when she was dating you- she had many other dicks on the side. You really think she was always going to classes? Don't believe me… I think a picture proves a thousand words.**

"What the fuck?" Ana gasps next to me, but I can barely focus on her. I flip through the pictures of what seems to be Ana with some guy on top of her in the throes of passion. My stomach twists. These can't be real. They can't be. In college we spent every second together and I know she was going to class, her grades would a test to that. Plus, we had many of the same classes.

But could she have?

No.

The thought leaves me instantly. Maybe these are from afterwards and this sick asshole is playing it off. Or…

I don't even get to finish my thoughts when Ana snatches the photographs out of my hand. I see her out of the corner of my eye examine each one, with a twist of disgust on her face.

"These aren't real…' Her voice squeaks almost haunted like. "I swear,"

I nod. I think back to when Elena sent those pictures of me with my old subs to her. Is this how she felt like she was getting punched in the gut? I shake my head and she held onto that knowledge and images for days and I still didn't tell her the truth. If these images are seared in my mind already, I can't imagine what her memories look like with images that were real. My mind flints to her and Owen and I picture them together now, even if these are fake, I now have an image of what she would look like with someone else.

"Christian?"

"What?" I say softly, trying to get my mind around this.

"Actually, I think these are of us. But they photoshopped you out. Like how would they get these shots at these angles unless they were always spying? Remember we made videos…"

"How could I forget…" A small smirk plays on my lips. It's hard not to smile thinking about all the times we made those videos.

I copied every single one of them to bring back with me to Seattle after we broke up. There was no way I was going to pass on watching them a million times over. Though now it makes me wonder who could have gotten a hold of them. I had them locked up when I wasn't using them for recreational use.

She puts the nauseating photo in my face, "If you look here- that's your end table and sitting on it is your watch your grandfather gave you one Christmas…you only took it off when we had sex so it wouldn't-" she blushes and her eyes dodge to Taylor then back to mine, "hurt me. I know that's not a lot to go on… but you can kind of see how grainy it is….and I bet if we put it to one of our videos it would match. Plus, you can't see any of these guys faces…" She rambles and I push the picture away.

"Christian…"

"I don't really want to study the image of someone else fucking you…" I say calmly to try to convey I'm not mad, though I'm definitely not happy, but I guess the words were wrong and her eyes drop to the floor, along with her hand.

"Ana…listen," I reach out to her and touch her arm, but she doesn't look at me still. "I know these are fake." she nods and I take the pictures from her hand.

"I need...air," Ana mumbles and turns to the door.

"Ana...I think we still need to talk." I say and walk towards her.

"I know. Just handle this. Do what you need to do, I just can't right now. It's all too much right now."

"Don't leave… okay?"

Her eyes finally meet mine and tears are welled up in the corner of her eyes. "I wouldn't. I'm just going to trust you two to deal with this."

"I'll come and find you when we're done…"

She nods and then exits the room. This is just a fucking mess.

I turn to Taylor who has been standing in the corner silently. I bet feeling slightly uncomfortable. Hell, it's bad enough that he saw my girls naked body.

Fuck did my dad see them. I shake it off and note not to tell Ana that.

"Taylor, you don't need these do you?" He shakes his head.

"Good." I rip them up into little pieces and move to the fireplace. Grabbing the lighter, I set them on fire, letting the pictures to ash.

"I want to know who sent those pictures and figure out how they knew we would be here today. That was a message loud and clear that they know our every move and I want to know how."

"Yes, sir."

I close my eyes.

"Jason," I stress, knowing I need him more as a friend now then as my employee. "I need you to help figure this out. That girl is the love of my life and I can't lose her again over pictures and people not wanting us together. Find Elena torture her. I don't care. But she's involved somehow."

"I'll do whatever I can, Mr. Grey." I glare at him, "Christian"

"Hire whoever you need too. I know that this all might be bigger then what you can handle alone. But I hired you because you were the best- so please do whatever you can to stop these assholes."

He nods.

I trust Taylor, but I really need him to stop dropping the ball even if this is mostly out of his control.

* * *

I find her standing in the living room with her arms crossed, staring at the pictures that sit on the mantel. I walk behind her and put my arms around her waist, kissing the side of her neck.

"Look at that cute couple…" I murmur in her ear.

"I can't believe they have these on the mantel." She says but doesn't look at me.

"I've told you they loved you like one of their own. Plus, I wouldn't ever let them take them down anyways. One because I loved seeing your face whenever I could… and second I'm sure it drove Elliot insane to know how much my parents adored you." I chuckle lightly.

One of the pictures that sit is of Ana and me from our first Christmas together. The Christmas that I like to remember. We're sitting on the couch wrapped in each other's arms smiling- content and in love with each other- as my mom took the photo. Beside that one is the both of us sitting at the piano together, playing. I grin remembering what we did later that night on that piano while my parents were out.

"Want to have a repeat performance on the piano…" I whisper in her ear. I feel her shiver and she turns her head to look at me, her eyes telling me a hundred things and unfortunately none of them happy.

"One day. But I don't think your parents would want to watch the show." She gives me a weak smile and steps out of my arms.

I sigh and know right away what's troubling her. "You mad at me?"

She shakes her head and wraps her arms back around herself. "No. It would just be nice to come here and not be bombarded by pornographic pictures of each other." She sighs, and turns to look at me "I saw the look on your face when you first saw them you thought they were really me. I mean I can't blame you, they looked pretty real. But you know I wouldn't or would ever cheat on you, right?" She says softly.

"I thought maybe for a spilt-second that they were real. Then I thought, maybe they were from when we weren't together. Maybe your first ex? The pictures still made me sick, even knowing they weren't real." I put my arms back around her, needing to hold her, to show her that I love her and that this didn't affect us the way whoever is trying to do so. "I know this is what it must've felt like for you when Elena sent you all those pictures back then, but like a million times worse. Feeling the way, I do over fake pictures—" I shake my head and press my lips to her forehead. "I hate that you have to live with those images. I wish I could wipe them for you. I'm so sorry."

"It's getting better. I swear." She clenches my shirt, looking up at me, "it would just be better if everyone would leave us alone."

"I love you and to answer your question; I don't think you ever cheated on me, nor do I think you ever will."

"I cheated on Owen, well drunk me did."

"That doesn't count. We wanted each other. It was only a matter of time and I understand why you stayed with him…."

"Doesn't make me a good person though."

I grab her shoulders and spin her around to look at me.

"You are the best person I know. If I had told you what happened that night I know you would have been honest with him. Our connection with each other was bigger than anything. We kissed because we were connected, it not like we had a fling, knowing what you were doing. But that's over now." I brush her hair back and kiss her gently on the lips. "Those pictures mean nothing because I know their lies. But you know what I think we should do?"

She shakes her head and stares at me curiously.

"I think we should go home and figure out which video they got those pictures from." I lean down to whisper in her ear "and I think I know just what video to start with." She blushes and I know she likes the idea. She needs to know I'm not mad, that the pictures changed nothing for us. I just need to now see those images with my body.

"You swear you're not mad?"

"No… I love you. We just need to get to the bottom of this. I think it's going to start with finding Elliot."

* * *

 **You're in luck since Friday is a big day for me with Watching You coming out I will update again and we will finally know who ? is next chapter...**

 **Let me know what you think... This chapter felt as it took 30 years to write... :)**


	13. Discoveries!

**It's Watching You Release day… I hope that if you enjoyed that story, you'll give it a look over. Check it out on Amazon under Erica Marselas…**

 **And since it's such a BIG day… How about a BIG chapter. Ready to know?**

 **ANA- (1 month later)**

I'm typing away furiously at my desk. I'm exhausted, hungry, and just want to scream out in frustration.

I've had enough bullshit this last month to last me a lifetime.

The girl following me around Seattle has seemed to stop and I wonder if it has anything to do with the other girl getting caught.

Or she's just hiding better now.

It's only eased some of my tension, but those pictures that were delivered to the Grey's rocked me to my very core. We spent the night after we left the Grey's watching the tapes we made in college. We figured easily what tape it was but who knows how or when they could've got their hands on it. Christian made a mention that he would watch them all the time and he wonders if they just stumbled on them one day left in the DVD player. He swears he never let Elena is his room and his brother only came over once and that was before Elena came back into his life again. Checking security footage would take forever. Hell, it could have been one of those damn Subs Elena hooked them up with. The list could be endless to how got their hands on it. But now Christian is going to make sure those videos are locked up better. Though I know we should destroy them, but I sorta don't want to… they're fucking hot and my body was perfection then.

Though I know no matter what all of this madness has to be Elena or Elliott. They're the only two souls in this world that hated us being together. It's just a matter of finding who did the dirty work.

And it looks even more like Elliott since it seems like he vanished off the face of the earth as soon as the news of me coming back came to Seattle.

Why can't they find that damn surfer fuck boy?

However, the pictures are a real Elena type move. I don't even know anymore, but this needs to be figured out before I lose my mind, but at least this insanity seems to have brought Christian and me closer together than further apart. Wonder if they know that their plan is backfiring? Or is this just the quiet before the storm?

About once a week a picture of Christian and I surface in an intimate moment. A private one, where the paps wouldn't be around. Last week it was us kissing in the woods after a hike. It was taken far enough away and really has us questioning how they're getting the information of where we are. We had to check all the guards again, run interference, we even told everyone we were going somewhere else and they still found us. We checked the apartment again, got new phones, and my only thought is there using bugs that can't be picked up. We've taken apart everything, but the walls and it might be our next step.

My office phone rings and I debate to pick it up because I fear it's only going to be another issue I don't want to deal with.

But I do it anyways.

"Ana Steele."

"Miss Steele? There's an Owen Knight here to see you. He said it was urgent."

"Um… oh… can you tell Sawyer to meet me in my office and then I'll tell you when to send Mr. Knight in."

"Yes, Miss Steele."

What the fuck is Owen doing here? Maybe I forgot something at his place, but he could have just mailed it to me.

There's a brisk knock on my door and Sawyer walks in. "Miss Steele?"

"Sawyer, my ex is here and he wants to meet with me. With everything going on lately I thought it would be better if you were with me."

"Of course, ma'am." He nods his head and moves into my office.

I roll my eyes, "how many times I have I told you about calling me, ma'am?"

He chuckles, "about a million since I met you weeks ago. Old habits, _ma'am."_

"I should kick your ass," I mumble with a smile and he chuckles.

"I'm going to call Christian and let him know."

God knows if he finds out Owen is here, he'll blow a gasket. Even though I don't believe Owen is a threat, but to Christian he is.

Men.

I dial his office line first and I'm left with a voice mail. I ramble my message and then call his cell. I'm also sent to voicemail and then I remember he is in a meeting. I sigh and leave a message and then inform Andrea to give him the message promptly when he gets out.

I let Lisa know she can send in Owen now. A few seconds later Owen walks through the door and gives me a half smile. He stands in front of my desk and spies Luke in the corner giving him a nod. He doesn't seem irritated at all by Luke's presence.

"What can I do for you Owen?" I ask nicely.

Owen never did anything wrong. I don't have an ounce of hate for him or even dislike. I know he probably does for me though. Can't blame him. I should've been honest with him in New York.

He moves to sit down and sighs deeply, "Do you know an Elena Lincoln?" He asks.

I'm taken by surprise. Elena's words from last week, _'what would Owen think'_ ring through my memory.

"Unfortunately, I do. How do you know her?"

"She's a client with our accounting firm. I actually met with her about a month ago. I didn't think anything of it then, but I remember her asking about you from the picture I had of us on our desk. I, of course, told her and that was that. However, yesterday she came back and saw me and mentioned how you ran off with some billionaire, and that I must be upset I fell for such a gold-digging whore." He says the words with no venom, but I still flinch at the words. "Hey, I don't think that. When we broke up, sure I was mad, but if I remember you were trying to break up with me before you moved and I wouldn't have it." he chuckles softly. "It's easy for me to see that you're in love with him and I know you didn't want to hurt me. If anything, you helped me to get a better life here in Seattle, because the jobs weren't biting in NY. You're a great girl Ana and you're hard to give up. I hope he knows that?"

"I think he always did…" I muse.

"Good," he says sincerely. It's one of the things I liked about Owen, he never seemed to hold a grudge. I knew him long before we started dating, his good heart is what drew me to him. I feel bad I couldn't give my heart to him in return. I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to because it was under lock and key to Christian. I just hope one-day Owen finds someone that deserves him.

"Anyways, moving on. I told her it wasn't a big deal and I understood. She didn't seem too pleased with my answer. After that, she left. Something with her didn't sit well with me. That's why I came to see you."

"Thank you. God, knows any little information is important."

"There's one more thing. I should've told you earlier, but even though I'm not upset now, I was before. At the benefit dinner, I had someone approach me."

"Approach you?" I question.

"Yeah. This guy. Overweight, jet black hair…"

"Did he have green eyes by any chance?"

"Yes, he did. Do you know him?"

I shake my head. "No, but he seems to maybe be a person who is stalking us or something." I close my eyes a vaguely remember Owen talking to this guy. I don't remember seeing his face, but I was so wrapped in Christian my focus was blurred.

"Yeah, he was-"

Owen is cut off by my office door crashing open. I jump out of my seat and Sawyer moves prepared to attack but stops when he notices it's just Christian.

Oh, god. Mr. Hot Head is out to play.

"What's going on here?" Christian says calmly but I know he's seething. I can tell by that vein on the side of his neck ready to pop.

Owen and I stand from our chairs and I move towards Christian. He has to know nothing could be going on. I called him and Sawyer is here.

Who am I kidding this jealous man was always blind.

"I called you to let you know he was here…" I start.

Christian's eyes finally leave Owen, who seems to be confused by this Liam Neeson wannabe that's kicking in doors.

"He actually has information for us on who might be behind the threats and the girls following me," I say slowly like I'm talking to a small child. I see him relax a little and move more into the room.

"Information?" He crosses his arms and looks back to Owen, trying to command the room.

"Actually, it's a good thing you're here Mr. Grey." Owen moves to sit back in his chair, not giving a shit to Christian's attitude and I almost want to laugh at this whole thing. This is awkward as hell.

"It concerns you, as well," Owen says glancing back at him. "I mean no harm…" he laughs, "as I was telling Ana, I'm happy for her and I hope you hold on to her this time," he smirks.

Christian clears his throat, obviously perturb by Owen's words, but thankfully seems to let it go.

"So, this information?"

"Yes, as was telling Ana I was approached by a gentleman at the benefit dinner. He was asking if I knew about the two of you dating in the past. I told him, yes, and then he mentioned how it was easy to see you two were in love. I believe when I finally looked I saw it too." He clears his throat and fixes his tie. "He then showed me pictures of the two of you leaving the hotel - I believe from Portland. You two were wrapped in each other's arms and smiling. I didn't want to believe it, but… when I asked why wouldn't you leave me for Grey, he proceeded to tell me that you were a 'cheating skank.' That you enjoy destroying lives. "

"That seems to be his M.O," I mumble. I glance up at Christian and he moves closer to me. We share a look and he's telling me it's okay, but I see the flicker of something in his eyes and I'm sure it has to do with him remembering the pictures.

"To me it was unbelievable. I've known you long enough Ana to know that's now who you are. But at the time watching you with Christian that night-" Owen glances up at Christian who is now firmly at my side, with his hand rubbing my shoulder. Owen smirks and shakes his head. "I didn't think you were cheating but I knew any chance to stay with you was gone. And as I told you that's okay, I do get it now, but I guess I just needed time to collect myself because it stung, and it wasn't till Miss Lincoln walked in that I realized that that guy was part of a bigger picture. That this was something you needed to know. I apologize for not saying something before." He says sincerely.

"It's okay." I wave him off. "I can't blame you."

"Wait- Elena? How do you know Elena?"

"She was a client at Owen's firm. She asked about me-" I fill him in.

"How long has she been a client at your firm?"

Owen opens his mouth and closes it again. He looks pensive as he tries to think about it. "Actually not long. Little over a month. She just signed on right before I met with her."

I look up at Christian and know he's thinking the same thing I am. She sought Owen out I'm sure once she got word I was back in town.

"Will you let us know if she comes see you again or anybody that comes to you about us?" I ask.

"Of course, Ana. I would hate anything to happen to you." Owen moves to stand from his chair and I also stand, to go towards him to give him a hug.

Christian grabs my hand causing me to stop walking to Owen and wrapping his arm around me. "I'm not going to let anything happen to her.' Christian states firmly and I roll my eyes.

 _Why don't you piss on me, honey? Gezz_

Owen smirks and puts his hands up defensively. "Well, I'm sure you will. If you need anything. You know where to find me… both of you." He chuckles softly and moves towards the door. I elbow Christian in the stomach making him let go of my hand.

"Thank you, Owen."

"Welcome. Good luck." He looks at us again and is out the door. I look over at Sawyer who is stoic as ever, "Luke can you give us a moment?"

"Yes, Miss Steele." He nods and quickly makes his exit.

I turn to Christian and cross my arms over my chest. "Did you really have to practically kick in my door?"

He smiles at me sheepishly and shrugs not giving me an answer.

"What did you think was going on that you had to act like Rambo?"

"I don't know. First thing through my mind was you being alone with him and him begging for you back- then I started wondering if he had something to do with the threats. I mean he just shows up out of the blue after a month." He blows out a large puff of air and rakes his hands through his hair. "Would you believe I didn't really have too much rationally before I stormed in here?"

"Oh, I believe that." I shake my head. "You have to know I wouldn't do anything. I had Sawyer with me and I tried to tell you. I just thought he was maybe returning stuff I could've forgotten."

"He's like Elena to you- a hard limit."

I roll my eyes at his overreaction. "Owen in a million year could never be like Elena."

"You don't really know that Ana. You don't want me to meet with her to get behind this crap, but it's okay for you to meet with Owen? What if he was behind this somehow and he harmed you?"

"For fuck sakes Christian. Owen isn't a manipulating like Elena and I do know that. I've known Owen for a year, he doesn't get revengeful, as you could plainly see. Plus, I made sure I had Sawyer with me for protection anyways. But fine if you feel that strongly about it I'll make sure it doesn't happen again." I huff and move back to sit at my desk.

"Good." He nods his head and it only serves to piss me off.

"Did you need anything else, Mr. Grey? I have work to do." I snap. I want him out of my face. Comparing apples to oranges I swear.

He looks taken aback by my outburst. Frankly, maybe I am too. But I've just had enough with everything right now. He takes a step closer to me like a wounded bird. "You know I'm a jealous asshole. And Elena wasn't the right example, but what if it was Haley that came to see me with information and I met with her waiting for you, despite Taylor being with me."

"I wouldn't be happy. But you have to know Owen isn't crazy like those other women you had." He starts to say something and I raise my hand to stop him, "but you never knew him, so like I said, I won't do it again. Just know I didn't try to do this behind your back and without your knowledge."

"I do. I'm sorry for storming in here. I think with everything happening it's hard to trust anybody. I mean my own brother could be behind all this, and he was at one point for sure. To me, everyone is suspect until proven not."

"I know," I say softly.

"I don't want to fight baby."

"I don't either."

He puts his hand out to me and I reach for it. He pulls me into his arms and leaves little butterfly kisses on my cheek and neck, causing me to giggle from the tickles his lashes give me.

"I hate that I can't go to New York with you." He nuzzles his face into my neck.

Christian was supposed to come with me, but it seems like hell and shit are all going down at once with a merger dealing with solar phones and problems with shipments to Dufar. The only reason I have to go is to put the final touches and sign off on Morgan house from our last trip and do a large transfer of employees to new departments and or locations.

"I know, but it's only two days. You have too much going on here."

He grabs my chin and I stare into his piercing gray eyes. "Promise me you won't go anywhere without Sawyer and whoever else ends up going with you. I wouldn't be able to live if anything happened to you."

"I won't. I promise." I tell him sincerely. It's not like I would want to go anywhere without someone having my back. Hell after meetings I plan just to cozy in my room and order room service.

He kisses me gently on the lips, his left hand moving up my skirt. "Your place or mine tonight?"

We haven't spent a night apart since we got back together. I can only wonder how much longer this back and forth thing will go on before one of us cave and ask the other for us to live together. It's not like we haven't before and I already keep some clothes in his closet. We lasted only four months in college before we rented our apartment. But my thing is; I want him to ask.

"Yours. I should have enough stuff there to bring with me."

He smiles, his hand now grabbing my ass, and his mouth moving to my ear, his hot breath sending shivers down my spine.

"I'm going to lick, suck, and kiss every inch of your skin tonight. I want to still taste you while you're gone and your skin to always be alive with the memory of where I was."

I open my mouth for a reply but nothing comes out before he's shoving his tongue down my mouth. The room starts spin by the intensity. He releases my body and steps away.

"That's just the start of what I will do to you tonight."

I'm still panting holding onto the side of my desk, "Where are you going? You can't leave me like this?" My clit is throbbing- my panties are soaked, and I'm desperate need of him—and he's leaving?

He just blows me a kiss with the wink and walks out of my office.

 _I'm going to kill him._

 **? POV (GASP WE'LL KNOW FOR SURE NOW WHO IT IS!)**

I watch as Anastasia gets into the back of the Audi, her CPO moving to the front after putting her bag in the trunk. No one will be following her to New York. Don't need them because the best is yet to come. We've backed off, but still letting them know were close with a picture a week to the Seattle Nooz. Can't let them think that everything is fine. I get the camera ready when I see Christian run out of his apartment building. He hands her something and the pulls Ana into his arms.

Fucking bitch.

If only I had enough to make her fucking plane crash.

We have one more idea to break this couple up (The goal is that she can't handle it- she runs off again- leaving the bastard heartbroken and nowhere to turn) and if it fails it will be time to bring out the final move. Which may just leave sweet little Ana with her head spattered somewhere.

I'm aware that even if they break up, Christian giving us money, _what we need_ , is slim. It's really not even about that so much anymore. It's a sick thrill to watch them all running around with their heads cut off. But in time, he will crumble again and do what we want. He was always a weak bastard. That's why I know killing her is our best bet, especially if we can make it look like an accident.

But unlike my partner, I just want Christian to suffer. The best way is to have Ana gone from his life- even in death. I'll do whatever I can to please my Mistress. I was mad for a while that she went to teach him our ways, but I knew it was for the money. I failed with the money she gave me, she was so angry at me and thought I was a failure. But I'm her favorite pet and my Mistress is always wonderful with helping me, no matter what, especially if I expect all my punishments.

 _What she can do with a cane…such pain and yet enticing._

Christian was to be apart of us…work together….and to support us. But no, he ran off with the damn tart, forgetting the lifestyle and pushing us away. And to think I liked her for a second. Elena taught me better though, knowing that Ana would take away our meal ticket.

When they broke up, we thought we got him back on our side, but I think what we did with the pictures might have gone too far. But the bitch wasn't taking any hints that she was useless and needed to fucking go.

All we did was show Ana how much he really didn't need her. Luckily, we were right about the amount of Christian's self-worth, Elena convinced him for so long everyone would hate him, that he would be a monster if they found out what he did, and once Ana confronted him about it he quickly dumped her instead of facing the music. The only thing we didn't see coming was he would catch on that it was our fault. Bastard.

We knew he still needed the lifestyle, and wouldn't you know the bastard came back needing his damn control. Christian paid back the loan Elena gave him, painfully slow. Thank god, he was a hefty tipper when it came to Elena giving him Subs.

Though it still pisses me off that he forgave Elena and not me. I'm his fucking brother, but I remain un-forgiven and hated by him.

My own fucking brother turned against me from that stupid slut. So much for bros before hoes. So, what if I helped scare her away? If he could forgive Elena WHY NOT ME!

Then my dad, the asshole telling Christian to bring Ana in to help fill the COO job. I'm his brother, dad should have encouraged him to take me.

FUCK THEM ALL! I don't need them.

Across the street from Escala, I rented a place, so I could hook up a listening device that uses laser through the windows to pick of the vibrations of sound. You can't trace it and it works perfectly. I can easily find their locations with their phones when it bounces off cell towers, also not traceable. I also had Miss Haley bug his apartment the second Ana got the job. I was almost pleased he didn't kick Haley to the curb right away and I was actually surprised Ana had a boyfriend, I mean who would want that stupid bitch.

Besides my fucking bonehead of a brother.

That bastard was still masturbating to her every night- even after a session with Haley, the picture of her still hung in his room. I knew he stilled loved her- the damn pussy. So Haley getting her hand on one of those tapes was easy- to bad he didn't fall for the edited pictures- I only wish I could have seen his face when he first saw his girlfriend in "Someone else's" arms.

I do have some smarts- in might not be with money, but the video bugs Haley planted can't be detected, there attached to his own security cameras that look like the normal covers. The bugs only turn on when keywords are said and turn off either by me or key-words to know they might be searching for them. Taylor might be great at what he does, hell my brother has one of the best teams, but the thing is I've been studying everything they do and how they work for years. I got rid of everything Elliot Grey, I no longer look the same. I pat my Santa Claus like belly in disgust. It's to be expected though I've only been sitting around watching, doing nothing for months. And how I end up one of those people that get fat from snorting coke... I don't know.

I'll worry about working out AFTER we destroy Ana.

Haley comes bouncing to me… her hair dyed back to brown, sorta. She's been one of Elena's girls for years. She's what we call a test dummy for Doms. She'll do anything Elena says and that means listening to whatever I have to say.

"Who did your crap job?"

"Shut up. It doesn't fucking matter." She growls. "I'm risking my ass for you. You're just lucky they haven't caught on that Hanks is missing." She laughs.

Yeah, that bastard was easy to blackmail, but he was going to talk and well I took care of that. I use his phone to call in and check in. When Ana returns they'll be a surprise waiting for her.

"Whatever, get in the car, Mistress is waiting for you." I grab her by the neck, "but first I want something on the way there. Can you be a good girl for me?"

She laughs. I shove her to the car.

"Sorry, but you really shouldn't try to act all Dom on me. It's hilarious. Especially since I know what the other Mr. Grey is like, you can't compare. Listen, if you want your dick sucked all you just have to ask."

I slap her across the face and she laughs. "Aww, pity party for one I see."

"Just shut your mouth and get in the fucking car," I growl at her putting my hand around her neck. The crazy bitch loves the violence I don't think I've ever met such a masochist. I open the door and throw her in. When she collapses into the back seat she laughs.

"You're getting there. Don't worry. I think once you get some more blood on your hands you'll be ready…"

I slam the door. I don't even care about being a Dom, but she is right, once I do away with Ana - people will start to bow down to me and stop messing with me- giving me everything I want, especially Christian Grey.

 **A/N: So now you know. How many of you knew all along? I tried to give hints in 12- with Elliot's weight gain (via what Mia said) and ties to Elena.. Its really hard to write a somewhat insane person—note above.. I hope it explains things… that Elliot isn't all there anymore- and his anger is fulfilling Elena wants and his own hatred to his brother. (as in 12 Elliot has been under Elena's claws for a long time…) Also, the hardest thing was the bugs and Taylor not finding them... but I did some research… so It's not all Taylor's fault. But hold on to your seat-:/ And I really wasn't going to tell you who ? till chapter 16 but- I couldn't do it to you guys much longer...**

 **(also find Watching you here: www dot amazon dot com/dp/B078NHJP5T - thank you guys for all the support to making this happen.. youre the best!)**


	14. did someone order a sub?

**A/N: Some of you have had asked who Hanks was- He was the guy that was to be watching Haley and report her whereabouts to the team. (it was mentioned in the chapter where they go to Ana's apartment and see the blonde across the street)**

 **Chapter 14**

I texted Christian when I landed to let him know I was back in Seattle. I want to surprise him, so I told him I was going back to my place for a bit to unpack and we could get together later tonight. Oddly enough, I haven't heard back from him. But he has been working his butt off trying to sort out a problem with the shipments to Darfur and one company under our umbrella try to swindle money. He says he's sleeping, but when we talked last night at eleven east coast time he was still in the office, and had huge bags under his eyes, so I knew he was lying to me. In fact, I called Taylor to confirm that he's been staying at the office all night and snoozing on the couch.

Sawyer and I ride up the elevator to the penthouse. He couldn't lie to Taylor about my whereabouts for my own safety, but just as long as he gets Christian to wait to come here after work is all that matters. I want him to be surprised and it's the only way I know how. He asked me to move in with him before I left for New York and I promised I would think about it. So tonight, I want to do something special to tell him my answer is yes. I want to make dinner for him and while we eat seduce the shit out of him with this new lingerie set I bought in New York that I'm hoping that will get his gears running.

Sawyer and I walk off the elevator. It's quiet- almost to quiet and I wonder if we should get a dog or something.

Yeah, he wouldn't go for that, well not until he finally hires a housekeeper. I drop my bag in the foyer as Sawyer heads for the security room.

When I walk the hallway to my bedroom, my body starts to shake and my anxiety rises. There are clothes thrown everywhere. A woman's skirt, underwear, bra… what the fuck is going on? My heart is hammering out of my chest. What the hell?

The trail of clothes leads all the way up to the bedroom.

If Sawyer is in the security office, he should see this… where is he? I fumble with my phone and text him…

 **Bedroom...Now…911.**

I know I shouldn't, but I'm ready for the kill. Whoever is behind there is going to have to deal with the wrath of Ana Steele. I'm sick of these damn games. But then I pause with my hand on the door.

I shouldn't.

"Ana…" Sawyer hisses behind me. He has his gun ready as he moves to me.

"I'm going in…" I whisper.

"Stay behind me… from what I can see there's only one person in there… just be prepared…but I think you talking to her while I search the rest. Back up is coming up now…"

Prepared?

I look at the clothes behind me and like a no-brainer, it hits me the person is missing those.

I push open the door and there in the middle of the floor is a woman on her knees. Naked, her head bowed and hands on her knees. Her brown hair looks like a very bad dye job and I can still see the blonde streaks peeking through. This girl looks oddly familiar and I'm sure she might be one of the girls that was stalking me. But there's something else about her.

"Who the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing here?" I bark and quickly realize that my sailor mouth is back due to a certain man I date. But this deserves all the fucks.

The girl lifts her head and now I know, she was Christian's sub. I'm trying to keep my heart from plummeting. I know this can't be possible for him to do this, I know he's been in the office working and sleeping. His around the hour emails prove that, and with everything else happening this has to be part of the plan to separate us, plus where is Christian if she's here?

Stay strong. Study the room, Be pre-prepared for anything, Ana. Sawyer also study's the room ready for the attack…not moving far from me.

"Master wanted me here… like the last two days… what r you doing here?"

"Visiting my boyfriend. You don't belong here. You need to go." I point toward the door. "Before I kick your fucking ass and that smug look on your face..."

She has the nerve to laugh at me, "if I wasn't meant to be here, then why am I? You know he has this place locked down like Fort Knox. You're the one not supposed to be here."

I roll my eyes, "your logic makes no sense bitch. Get off the damn floor before I make you."

She looks over at Sawyer and smirks.

"Don't worry there's' no one here. You see- Mr. Grey wanted me here - wet and waiting- like countless of times before you came back. He quickly saw how much he missed it being stuck in a vanilla relationship with you. He just doesn't want to hurt you again. Sorry. But while you're away - the mice will play. And we play very hard." She laughs.

FUCKING BITCH!

"You stupid-"

I don't have time to finish my sentence when Christian and Taylor bust into the room.

I turn to look at Christian see the look of disgust and turmoil all over his face. He looks over at me and checks me over - a look of a plea dances in his eyes, before turning back to the riff-raff.

"What the fuck are you doing here Haley?" He seethes and I can see that famous vein popping out of his neck. He moves closer to me but doesn't touch me. Is he worried how I would react to this or to him?

"Oh, don't play Master…" Christian cringes. "you wanted me here. Tell her how much we've been fucking three last two days."

"Fucking bullshit, how the hell did you get in here?" he yells and picks up the duvet from the bed and throws it at her.

Thank god, don't want to look at that anymore. And will have to burn it later. Behind Haley, Sawyer starts doing his perimeter check. But I do believe her when she says no one is here. I don't know how she got in here, but this has to be another method to make me run.

"Taylor where's Williams? I have this. Go find him… so I can fire his ass then after you take this damn trash out."

Taylor nods and moves out of the room. He should've taken out the trash first. But I know this is more about making a statement to this bitch. As I look at the camera, whether they're watching or listening, I do hope there fucking hearing all this.

"Master… why are you acting this way? I thought you were going to tell her about us…" She stands up, not using the duvet to cover herself, walking over to him.

Oh hell no.

I step in front of her before she can take another step. "Back off bitch"

"Ana, face the facts, you're done with…. He's only holding on to you because of the job…" she tries to move past me, reaching out for my man and I slug her. She falls to the ground, her naked ass screeches on the wood floor. She holds her face and I see her eyes darken a sinister smirk dancing on her evil face. She stands up and rushes for me.

She's about to hit me when Christian grabs her wrist, and twists it around, stopping her in her tracks.

"Don't you _dare_ think about touching one hair on her head." He growls venomously that it even makes my skin tingle. Yet, this crazy bitch seems turned on…

"I always like when you're rough with me, Master. Do you want to give her a show?"

And like she's on fire Christian lets go of her arm- disgusted. But my blood boils, all this bullshit finally spilling over and I charge for Haley and knock her to ground again- and hit her once more square in the smirk of hers. "You know what I hate the most in life… it's fucking liars!" I hit her again for extra measure, and Haley starts to cry.

"Ana…" Strong arms wrap around my waist and lift me off the stupid bitch. I struggle in Christian's hold as he tries to soothe me.

Taylor comes rushing forward and picks Haley off the ground. Finally taking the duvet and wrapping it around her. Her nose is bleeding and her face is already bruising.

Good.

"Master," Haley begs.

"I'm not your fucking Master, never was. I don't know how the fuck you got in here. But know the police are on their fucking way to arrest your ass." Christian grabs my hand and looks it over. "You okay?" I nod and Haley starts laughing hysterically, trying to wiggle out of Taylor's hold, her tears now gone.

It's hard to believe the person I love- slept with this thing. I didn't really think about it before and it makes me sick. Maybe this is what Christian felt about Owen. Knowing someone else touched the person I love. I move out of Christian's hold just needing the distance for a second.

"The police." She scoffs. "I bet they would love to hear how you whipped and tortured me in your playroom. Got some fresh marks for you," she says still laughing like a maniac.

"Taylor get rid of her and make sure someone follows her...And find out where Hanks was." He orders and moves close to Haley, sticking his finger in her face. "You can try all you want to crush me, but I'll crush you first. Take everything you have and you'll never be able to find work, and the only place you'll live is some drain under the city because I'll wipe you clean of every penny you have. If you so much come within a 1000 feet of me and my girlfriend, I swear to god you'll pay worse than a couple hours in prison. Hell, I think I'll do it anyways."

She smirks again, "Fine. I won't tell, but don't worry they're coming to take what means the most to you, very soon."

Christian silently says something to Taylor before grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the room. We past Sawyer who still has his gun out.

"What room has been cleared?"

Sawyer points to one of the spare bedrooms. I notice another guy moving around floor and Haley is yelling at Taylor to get off her. She's one loud bitch. I thought a submissive was supposed to be more silent and listen?

Christian drags me in, the bedroom he pulls me into the bathroom, locking the door. He turns on the shower before he faces me. He doesn't say anything and stares at me. He's pale and looks exhausted as hell. I move to him and wrap him in my arms. He hesitates before wrapping his around me.

"I've missed you," I breathe, inhaling him, and I know he's doing the same.

"I've missed you too. I was so worried about you." He kisses the top of my head.

"Huh?" Why would he be worried? I was only alone with Haley for a moment. Then it does make me wonder about how quickly he arrived too the situation.

He grabs my face and has me look up at him.

"I got your message about going to your apartment. I thought I would meet you there." he shakes his head, the trouble and the pain back in his eye, "Someone had broken into your apartment."

"What?" He lets go of my face.

"They broke in, doesn't look like they took anything, but they spray painted your walls and bed."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I scream. "How?"

"I don't know I have Barney and Welsh looking into tapes. You know I had your apartment setup with video equipment." I nod. "They're trying to figure it out. It shouldn't' take long. But I'm sure it was Elliot or Elena or both. Who knows. I panicked when I couldn't find you and that's when Taylor told me Sawyer had brought you here. Now I know why he was trying to stop me from going to your place, but now I'm glad I did. I didn't feel too worried about it because I thought my place was safe. That you were safe. I tried to get in touch with Williams and he wasn't answering and on the way up her Taylor found out that the elevators were accused with an extra security code an hour ago, one for the CPO's to track their comings and goings, we have a different code. It belonged to one that should not have been used since they have no reason to access the penthouse. Then I got the 911 from Sawyer and rushed to find you. I knew someone was in here, Haley was my last guess. I was thinking..."

"The worst."

"It could have been." He runs his hand down my face. "Anything could've happened."

"I'm okay…"

"No thanks to me."

I take his hand from my face and squeeze it, "hey, you're doing all you can. I mean you're getting the FBI to come in. Can't help it's not their first priority. Even the detectives can't find anything or that one professional? Remember they might be impossible to pick up. We can only do what we can, Christian."

He doesn't say anything and presses his lips to my forehead.

"How do we know nobody else is here?"

"The notifications tell us how many people are in the elevator. Taylor went to check on Williams and the feeds. The 911 that was called out sent five more of our guys in to check things out. We're safe here. If we weren't Sawyer would man the alarms. There's a way to the safe from this bathroom."

"What?"

He goes to the linen closet and pushes a button and it opens up the wall. "There's more, but you know where the major ones are…" I nod as he closes it back up.

"So what guards code was used?"

"Hanks. The one that's supposed to be following Haley."

"So, you think he's a part of this?"

"I'm sure somehow. You saw her hair. I'm sure she's one that's been watching you and him lying about where she is."

"Elena is still in LA, right?"

He frowns and shakes his head.

"They lost track of her yesterday afternoon. It seems she had a double," He scoffs. "The ones watching her only had a picture to go by. My guess, like in New York, they found someone that matched her description. She was leaving home at night and going to clubs. It fit- My guess she knew she was being watched and somehow changed it up...but who the hell knows when she did it. I don't even fucking know anymore." He rubs his hands down his face.

"Your CPO's have been doing a super job lately," I mutter sarcastically.

"I know. Right now, the only people I trust are Taylor and Sawyer and even that's on a fine line...All that matters is you're okay."

"What do we do now?"

"First figure out why the fuck William's didn't do anything and kill Hanks with my bare hands. Then after that, I don't know. Tell my CPO's to get their act together or I'll fire them all."

"You can't fire them all. There working their asses off and you know it."

"Then why can't they find Elena or Elliot? Or someone from breaking into both of our apartments."

There's a knock on the door and Sawyer announces himself on the other side.

Christian moves away from me and answers the door. Sawyer is holding a manila envelope.

Every time I see one of those now I cringe.

"Sir, Taylor is downstairs dealing with the cops. She's acting like the crazy bitch she is and they have arrested her. Also Williams… is in need of medical care and EMT is on their way up. He got knocked out, hard. He's awake but disoriented- I haven't been able to check the feed to see what had happened yet, but Willams only said he went to comfort Haley- and she whacked him. But this" he holds up the envelope "was taped to the monitors."

I don't want to know what is that envelope. I really don't. It's more pictures I can feel it.  
"How did Haley drag him back to the office?" I ask. "Is she that strong?"

"Williams is scrawny and only 5'4" Miss Steele. I think that made it easier he weighs only half of me. But he's military trained, I've seen him in action, but I guess a metal pipe to the skull put off his defensives. Like I said I still need to check the cameras."

"What's in the envelope Sawyer?" Christian asks and looks over to me. "If it's pictures- we don't need to see- but is there a threat or a note with it?"

"Yes, there are pictures and you're right neither of you needs to see and there is a note. "I'm not sure if you would want to read it…I plan to hand it over to the cops- but wanted to let you know."

Hell, Sawyer looks nervous and I can only imagine what it says.

"What does it say," I mumble and grip Christian's hand and curl myself into his body. "I think we need to know what it says. No matter what it says." Christian looks down at me and I nod.

Sawyer clears his throat and pulls out the paper from the envelope

" **Sweet little Ana-**

 **I hope you like what you see- you need to remember you can't satisfy him. You can't get him to feel this with you. Look closely-his face says it all. He claims coming back was a mistake, but do you really keep believing those lies. You should leave, if not, I'll be sure to do it for you- the thing is it won't be pleasant." -E**

My stomach turns at the flash of my man once again with someone else, but I shake it off. This is what the bitch wants.

"Sawyer, go ahead and make sure Williams is taken care of and if you can view the tapes. Miss Steele and I think are going to go spend the night somewhere else tonight. I'll inform you where when I figure it out. And have this place checked again for bugs and fucking find them. I'm going to light a fire under the FBI to get someone here tonight."

"On it Sir."

Sawyer turns around to leave and Christian locks the door again.

"Maybe I should find a way to get in contact with Elena…"

"No. We talked about this before. There's no way you're going to go see her. Especially on your own."

"I wouldn't be alone. I'd have Taylor.

"Oh, like she's going to meet with you and Taylor. She wouldn't get the chance to manipulate you." I roll my eyes.

"What else do you think we can do?"

"Find her and kill her," I smirk. I would say I'm joking, but I'm not.

"I just think I could frame her. Have her admit to the shit she's doing."

I laugh, "you really think she's going to admit that to you."

"No. Maybe just pay her off. It's clear what she wants."

"What she wants his to fuck you again I'm sure...and what if you meet with her and she does something to hurt you? It's clear she has people working for her. We just need to find her. Find fucking Elliot."

"She doesn't want to fuck me again. I think she would have had her chance if she wanted to…" he says annoyed and my mouth drops open.

"Oh, you mean if you asked, you would have jumped on that old boat again?" I cross my arms and step back from him.

"That's not what I mean. But she didn't ask if you must know. She was happy with someone else. I did sorta accept her to and maybe when she didn't is why I tried to trust her again."

"You mean that someone being Elliot…?"

He groans deep in his throat. "Listen I might detest my brother right now, but it's still not something I want to think about."

"Don't you think you have to? All of this mess circles around those two. You have found nothing about them together back in the past?"

"No. I looked into the loans that Elliot burned through and the spending Elena was doing. Elena gave Elliot a loan - but it seemed to all be in cash. She gave the loan with a cashiers check. Elena's money quickly decreased and decreased when I was about 16. If Elliot started a company, there's no show of any of it. I'm guessing the money was spent before had any contracts or other investments. The fucker had no clue and I'm surprised Elena tried again. My only thought is she might have cared about him. When she gave me that loan it was almost everything she had left. I really was her last hope. They're dumbasses - "

"I concur."

"They had more chance of me helping them if they weren't so bent on pushing you away. I would have still started the company in Harvard. They were better off acting like nothing happened then pushing you away. To me their motive was fucked up and I don't see the logic behind it. I mean Elliot was my brother. I would have done anything to help him if he asked. He had to know pushing my girlfriend away would make me hate him."

"Or he thought he was help saving you from me. I think it also has something more with Elena being obsessed with you and you not being on her hold anymore. Whatever the reason you're right. They would have been better to let sleeping dogs lie. But maybe they also thought you would eventually tell me everything and well I would tell you couldn't be involved with that _thing_. I'm sure to them, it was better to show me pictures of you having sex with others because they knew how you felt about it. They used you. They almost got you to the point of trusting at least Elena again. And honest I think you would have started giving them everything if I didn't come back. Which pissed them off again…"

"I wouldn't have-" He starts and I hold my hand up to stop him.

"I guess we'll never know what would have happened and it's not something we need to worry about now."

* * *

Two hours later Christian and I are in a rental car and driving down the I-5. We spent the time talking to the cops about what happened today. Haley is going to jail and Carrick will handle a restraining order but I doubt that will keep her away. We then watched the tapes of when Haley came in. It showed Williams comforting Haley at the elevator but before he got close she ran towards him wielding large metal pipe to his head. She was able to drag him to the security room and left the envelope. Then proceeded to undress. My guess they either knew I was coming back or it was luck when I did since my apartment was also trashed. I guess it didn't matter which one I walked into, I would be in for a surprise. There was also a note found by the cops that said the same thing on the one left here.

Hanks the one that was watching Haley seems to be missing. So he's either apart of this and hiding out or something happened to him. Right now, it's an either or game.

Barney and Welch came back with a tape of my apartment. It showed the guy with jet black hair and pot belly destroying and spray painting my apartment. The bastard even tore up the dragon gave to me on our first date and the pictures with it. That hurt.

We know its Elliot because when he found the camera those green eyes said everything to us. He smirked before turning off the feed. The cameras that lead outside didn't help much. It seems he was on foot and no matter how many security cameras they tried to ask for or break into there wasn't enough to cover the area he could've gone. They're still shuffling through some but all he needed was a good ally to disappear in. The cops know of it and there out looking, but Elliot Grey can still not be traced. He might as well be a fucking ghost. Elena is still unaccounted for and it makes me wonder how they're outsmarting everyone. Is it our team that sucks or is it truly something out of our control?

Something big is coming. I can feel it.

"I was thinking we should go away for awhile. Work remotely. Get away from Seattle for a bit."

"Can we do that?"

"I don't see why not?"

"We have so much going on Christian, I don't think-can we just run away?" I sigh.

"It's our company baby. We'll handle what we need to do from a distance. I haven't even decided where we are going yet- we're going to decide and I'm not telling anyone but who needs to know."

"But what if they trace us. It seems like they can Christian."

"I feel like most of all their information they got from us was when we were in our apartments. Taylor can't find a bug, but there's something. He and a team are going to tear the apartment apart along with the FBI. But even if they follow we know the place we stay out will be clean."

"Do you trust Taylor or Sawyer?"

He sighs resigned, "I do and I don't. Taylor always hated Elena. He made it clear not only in many words and told me to watch myself. He seems to be failing at every turn - but I don't think it's with a purpose or a reason that he just doesn't know. I look at it like this; Serial killers get away many times without being tracked- even with notes and evidence, and cops and FBI on their tale…"

"Oh, that's positive…" I shake my head. But in a way he's right.

"I'm not explaining right, but I don't think it's as easy as we want it to be, even though we know it's Elliot and Elena. Right now- we're just going to get away for however long we think we need to be- clear our heads- focus on us, knowing whatever they try to pull next won't come between us." He reaches over and grabs my hand. "I love you- and everything seems to be a mess right now but I' going to figure out what the hell is going on."

"I know. I guess let's try to make the best of what all this mess… And you're right we could use the break."

He kisses my hand and I look out the window. I close my eyes and try to process everything. Tonight wasn't supposed to be going like this- I was going to tell him I wanted to move in and he would hopefully fuck my brains out, and if those assholes were watching give them a show. Show them how much we really love each and ending up on PornHub be damned at this point. They have to see how satisfied he is with me and hell uploaded us because everyone else would see it too.

I sigh heavily and roll my eyes at myself. I'm going mad.

"You okay over there?"

"Yeah," I look back over at him. "Just overthinking…"  
"Well, cut it out. That's my job." He chuckles.

"I'll be fine once we both get some sleep."

"Yes, that sounds good. God, knows I sleep better with you…"

"Christian?"

"Yeah?"

"I was going to tell you tonight, that I was ready to move in with you. I had a special night planned but that's kind of all blown to hell now."

The largest grin I've ever seen spreads across his face, "you mean that? You want to move in?"

"I do. I mean, I sort of have to now since Elliot gave my apartment a makeover. But yes, there's nowhere I would rather be than with you."

"You don't know how happy that makes me, Ace. If I could I would pull over right now and fuck your brains out…" He leans over quickly to kiss me.

"God, you were always such the romantic, hotshot." I slap him in the chest and laugh.

"I try to be…" He winks, "so, where do you think we should head?"

"Disneyland? I don't know… since we can't stop anywhere that looks like an out of the way spot?"

"I think I know a place that they wouldn't be able to link to us."

"What?"

"Remember that one summer we came up to visit your dad and he took us camping?"

I could I forget that bounding trip between my dad and Christian. We went to Golden Ears Park, spent three days hiking and swimming and eating. Those two spent most of their time yapping about sports and fishing. They drove me nuts, but he got my dad's full approval. He adored Christian. I know he would be happy to know that we got back together and maybe because I never told him the whole truth to our break up. If he knew he would have killed him.

"Yeah, Canada? And Camping? No thanks, I want a bed…"

He laughs, "I know, but do you remember afterward…Your dad went home and we hung around. That hotel that was a little way from there?"

"Yeah, that place was beautiful. You were really trying to show off."

"I figured we would go there. Try to relive a good time."

"Sounds good to me…"

 **Elliot POV**

You can run little brother, but you can't hide.

Does he really think I won't be able to figure out where he's going eventually? I might not know right this second, but I will. We'll lay low for now, but once they come back- thinking they're in the clear, we put in for the final attack and Christian will listen to us once in for all.

We all know he would never want anything bad to happen to his little Anastasia and he'll do whatever we say- including lying to her, to save her life.

 **A/N: uh-oh what are they up to now? Big things are about to happen. You'll find out more about these bugs and the only hint I give: Another threat and one picture that will finally give Elliot and Elena the leverage they want. As for there only being one guy in the apartment when Haley broke in, my thoughts were- he had most of his team with Ana and himself. He wasn't going home at night- so he put people where they were needed- but they did have back up as needed. And it being this short, little guy, on their team.. well I think you know that sizes doesn't matter, but a metal pipe to a head.. well..**


	15. Fade away

**All I have to say is this is a work of fiction... if you don't like what I'm doing.. stop reading.. :)**

 **Christian POV:**

We spent three weeks away from Escala and we're still getting followed. I have no idea how they're figuring it out, or if someone is giving them information as well. They know everything we do.

Knowing Elliot is behind this mess makes me sort of understand how no one is finding anything. He was always crazy into tech- he could figure out whatever he needed in a second. He was brilliant- and it's disappointing that he threw it away, or didn't ask for help when he tried to start up a business. I don't understand how someone that has brains seems to lack the cells. How badly does Elena have his mind molded?

It got to the point we didn't trust Taylor or Sawyer either. We even skipped out on them in the middle of the night one day just because we were both trying to figure the _how_ and the _who_ might be giving them information. We left our phones behind and got a cab, telling the guy just to drive. We still ended up getting our picture in the Nooz sitting outside a McDonald's eating because Ana wanted a Big Mac.

I've yelled and fired Taylor and Sawyer three times already.

It got to the point I had an outside person stalk them and look into their background and everyone else's on my team. They were clean and I'm left losing my ever-fucking mind.

It wasn't until the 3rd time I fired Taylor he finally laid it out and gave me back my unknowing trust. I think I just needed to hear the words.

 _"You expect me to keep my game up when you've got so many of us doing everything in our power to make sure the threat against you is neutralized. God dammit, we're stretched thin with the whole fucking - need to know bullshit. I dropped the ball, and we all do it sometimes. You don't think its driving everyone on the team crazy? That Elena and Elliot are outsmarting us? The technology they have is easy manipulated and hidden. We're running blind and when I see your brother, I might personally kill himself for these extra gray hairs and store his mind for science to figure out how the fucker figured it out because he doesn't seem to have a clue on the outside. But Mr. Grey I will stop at nothing to make sure you and Anastasia are safe."_

Taylor and the FBI did a sweep and not only managed to flip my penthouse upside down and cut walls but luckily found the video feed hooked right into my own security cameras on the plastic back. The FBI was even impressed by the technology, something so small that picks up keywords to turn on and off. As for them to be able to listen to us, Taylor is talking about some fancy laser shit, from buildings across the way and there almost impossible to pick up and if they're off well...nil. If they're always watching or even just listening, they know when searches are happening to turn them off.

Fucking technology.

Ana's thought is if they're watching, play their game, and show how their plan isn't working. We now try to talk in code for important things or exchange notes. It's a mess. At the hotel, we felt somewhat better, but we still weren't. The two of us might have gotten a lot closer, but we were still on edge. We spent most of the time in the room and only let the maid in when we were there, watching her every move. Sad when you can't trust anyone around you. In our room I think was the only time we weren't watched or listened to... well we think…

My team even scouts the area to see if someone is waiting or following us and nothing…

I mean how hard could it be to spot some fat asshole with greasy hair?

If I didn't hate Elliot so much and he was doing this shit. I might hire the dipshit.

Hanks is still missing and I this point he's either hiding out or dead. The FBI has no leads on his whereabouts. Hell, they don't even know where Elena and Elliot are. They're ghosting. Haley is still in jail. Thank god. She was denied bail for the attempted murder of Williams. If my dad and my lawyers have their way she won't see the light again till she's ninety. She refuses to talk. After she came into the apartment the cops spent hours questioning her. It figures now she learns to keep that mouth closed.

I swear I'm about to buy a private island and run off to it. Me and Ana and no one else.

Ana still doesn't want me to find a way to contact Elena and settle this. I'm sure all I ever had to do was say so and she would come out. I don't get why she's so hell-bent on me staying away when we could possibly end this.

Okay, I do get it, but desperate times. We almost got into a fight about it again the other night till she distracted me with her naked body.

 _What can I say I'm easily distracted when it comes to Anastasia Steele._

But now I stand in my living room clenching my cell phone between my hand on the verge of snapping it in half. I've read both messages over and over again. I'm going to have to deceive Ana and do just what she doesn't want me to do. I don't think there's a way around it.

It's not just the messages that have me on the brink of self-destruction…. It's the picture that came attached to it.

A picture the first time I saw it, I vomited.

Ana is sleeping, wrapped in a blanket and her hands tucked under her pillow. I would say she looked peaceful, besides the gun that is pointed at her temple.

It must have been that day she slept in because she was battling a cold, and passed out on nighttime cold meds. I went to work without her. Now I wish I haven't. No matter what I do I can't seem to protect her. How does she not just leave me for putting her in danger every day? She's only dealing with this because I couldn't say no to Elena's "help" once again.

And I know it's real. Because it's the earrings I gave her last week in her ears and the pink camisole she wore to bed when she's usually wearing nothing.

A million alarm bells are going off in my head. How did they get into our apartment? Taylor was with me, but there were two guys on post that day. Why the fuck weren't they watching?

So maybe it isn't real.

Then something clicks from when I got home. She yelled at me about leaving the balcony doors open. But how they get to it? The emergency stairwell is internal in the foyer, there is a lock and an alarm on it. Did they come from the roof like some mission impossible shit? I mean we're only a floor down?

I plan to make my way to the gym later as an excuse and have that checked out. The video feed was found, but I don't know if they had time to plant something else, or if this based on whatever shot they had set up.

The FBI was unable to get search warrants in every floor of the three buildings that surrounded us. We knew they were still listening when we came back to Escala but it seemed no matter where we went we risked ourselves. What would stop them from getting keys into our hotel room?

I look at the picture once more.

They could have killed her then and they didn't—this is them telling me they have me by the balls and can do whatever they want.

I look down at the message again and cringe.

 **Message Sent: 5:45pm**

 **From: Unknown number**

 **I KNOW SHE TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULDN'T COME AND MEET ME. NEVER THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE SO WHIPPED- AND NOT IN THAT GOOD WAY. YOU KNOW THAT WE HAVE EARS AND EYES EVERYWHERE. AND AS YOU CAN SEE WE CAN GET IN ALSO. YOU NEED TO MEET ME AT THE MARRIOTT AT 12PM TOMORROW. I'LL LET YOU BRING TAYLOR- JUST BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'LL ASK- PLUS ALL I WANT TO DO IS TALK. I WON'T HURT YOU...UNLESS YOU WANT ME TOO. I KNOW YOU REMEMBER HOW GOOD I COULD MAKE YOU FEEL WITH THE BITE OF A CAT.**

 **BUT YOU LEAVE YOUR TRASH GIRLFRIEND AT HOME. ALSO, TO MAKE IT FUN- I WANT 10 MILLION DOLLARS. I" LL LET YOU KNOW THE ACCOUNT WHEN WE MEET. YOU SEE ME AND ELLIOT HAVE SOME LIVING TO MAKE UP FOR.**

 **IF YOU TELL HER OR CALL THE COPS I WILL SHOOT HER LIGHTS OUT RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.**

 **I'LL KNOW…**

 **LOVE ELENA**

 **Message Sent: 5:58**

 **From: Unknown number**

 **I** _ **SEE YOU GOT THE MESSAGE. JUST IN CASE YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, YOU'RE STANDING IN YOUR LIVING ROOM. FACING THE WINDOW. ANA IS IN THE SHOWER. RIGHT NOW. SHE'S LATHERING UP. I BET YOU WANT TO JOIN HER?**_

 _ **I WOULDN'T.**_

 _ **Now as I said you're not going to tell her. You might think you can get some secret code out, or tell her where you think we're not listening, but is it worth it? Plus, you and I know she won't allow it. If I see her or any of my people see her with you tomorrow- she's dead. And that counts also for anyone on your team… Don't play with me boy because you will not win.**_

What the fuck am I going to do?

* * *

I can't sleep. I've been thinking over and over what I need to do. I could tell Ana somehow, but I have no idea in what way they're watching or listening again. Also, Ana would never let me go and I need to finally handle this. Taylor and I talked on the roof last night and there's a plan in the works, but it's going to take come careful ass planning considering I don't know how many people they have on their team.

I checked the video feed from that day the picture was taken, and it seems like they were able to get into the system to loop the feed of Ana sleeping. The guards knew nothing and without any reason, they're not going to check Ana while she's sleeping. Just when I thought being high in my tower would be safe, I come to find that they propelled down from the roof and winched themselves back up. They left behind marks on the wall. They also dismantled the alarms of the roof accuses and bypassed the keyless entry in the garage. Taylor sent the security feed from the stairways to the cops. However, the person doing this wasn't Elliot or Elena. I'm guessing they hired another person for whatever master plan they had.

I lost my brother because of Elena. Why didn't he ever come to me? Why couldn't he ever see what was wrong? If I didn't meet Ana could I have been in the same mess as him?

I look over at my sleeping beauty and brush her hair out of her face. She moans in her sleep and a smile appears on her face. I need to do this to protect her. She's going to be mad, but would she leave me again after she finds out? I won't keep it from her afterward., though I worry how I'm going to because I have a feeling there will still be a threat attached to me ever telling her.

I know this is about me and Ana and just not money. She could have asked for a drop point or gave me an account number. Fuck this is a fucking game to her and wanting to manipulate me like a puppet, I'm sure just like she does Elliot.

I could easily leave Ana, give them what they want to leave her alone. But would they at this point and would they leave me alone?

Me leaving Ana though is never going to happen. I just need to protect her. Somehow.

Ana has a doctor's appointment at eleven thirty and said she was just going to stay home till it was time to go because she knows something will suck her attention away if she goes into the office. At least she wouldn't notice me missing when I step of the office or don't go at all.

I close my eyes for a second and see the picture in techno color- it can't escape me- The gun to her head. The thought of anyone touching her sends me into a tailspin. I'm going to _have_ to meet with Elena and hope that she forgives me later. She'll understand why.

I hope.

I kiss her gently on the cheek, but it isn't enough. I kiss her soft lips and inhale her scent. Imprinting the feel, taste, and smell of her. Her eyes flutter open to look at me sleepily.

"Hi..." She whispers.

I smile at her and I can't hold back and claim her mouth. I need to possess her like it's my last time. If anything happens to her, I'm not sure if I could keep going. How do I get her/us away without them knowing...the thoughts swirl around my head eating me alive.

I finally break away from her somehow and she's staring at me in a daze. "Good morning." She rasps out.

"Morning baby. Go back to sleep. I have to get to the office."

"What's wrong?" She touches my face and those soft blue eyes reading right through my grey's like always. She knows something is wrong even if I'm doing everything to not show her.

 _Well, you did just kiss her like it was your last, Grey._

"Nothing. I just couldn't resist you... "

She cuddles into me and kisses my chin. "I love you…"

"I love you too… You know that right?"

"Yeah of course I do. Christian, what's wrong?"

"Really nothing... Just a bad dream... I'll call you later. Get back to sleep." I kiss her nose and she frowns, but she doesn't say anything.

I quickly get showered and dressed. When I'm done I notice she's dozed back off. She's been exhausted lately and falls asleep at the drop of a hat.

I have four guards here now, two from the FBI, and two of my own, all armed, and huge. I hope it's enough.

Maybe I should tell Ana on the GEH roof and then tie her up so she can't follow me, but I think I would be better off omitting.

I'm between a rock and a hard place. But no matter what happens today I'm not letting her go.

I'm standing outside the Marriott at 1145. Taylor told me Ana is safely downtown at Dr. Greene's office under heavy watch.

"Is everything in place?"

"Yes, Sir."

I steady my breathing and putting my trust again in other people, hoping that I'm making the right choice by not telling Ana.

 _Just let her be safe._

"Let's do this then..." I just want it to be over

I walk into the conference room Elena wanted to meet in. She's already here sitting at a table. She's not alone. Standing behind her is a guy that looks as he bites the head off chickens for sport. He's ugly as hell, a nasty look on his face, but he's huge like Hulk Hogan.

"Christian," Her evil smile chills me and I know I shouldn't be here. But what choice did I have? She threatened the girl I love with a gun to her head.

"You were always the smart one. I knew you would listen."

"Cut the crap Elena, what the fuck do you want?"

"Is that the way to talk to your friend?"

"You're not my friend. Now what the fuck do you want so you and Elliot can get the fuck out of my life?"

"I think you know what I want…" she drums her long nails on the table. She looks to gorilla face and nudges her head towards me. "Search them…"

"Elena…." I growl, "you know better that I don't let anyone touch me."

"Oh, I thought sweet Ana cured you."

"She's the only one… Don't push me, Elena, you know how I get when people fucking touch me, your guy might be big but you know I could take his ass down."

She rolls her eyes. "Fine. Unbutton the shirt. I want to make sure you're not playing any games."

 _Perfect._

"I'm not. I don't have time for games, unlike you Elena."

She laughs and waves me off. "Hurry up already. We have much to talk about…"

I unbutton my shirt and show her there are no fancy wires hooked up to me. My stomach turns when I see her look me over and lick her lips. "I'm so glad to know you still take care of yourself."

I quickly button my shirt up.

"Now give me your phones…" She wiggles her hand and I place it her slimy paws. Taylor does the same. She turns them both off and stuffs them into her bag.

"Taylor, you willing to do the same or you can stand outside."

"I rather get frisked by your ape." He sneers and Jolly Green Giant snorts.

Taylor is searched and passes and they both go stand back behind us.

"Now sit," she demands and waves to the seat in front of her.

I sit down and Elena reaches over to grab my hands. I move them away and she's tisks at me. "Oh no, you're on my time and you're going to let me do whatever. Don't worry we won't be fucking- yet." She winks and I resist the urge to vomit all over her plastic face. "Every wrong move you make - the closer my people get to blowing your girls head off."

She grabs my hands again and runs her fingers along my knuckles. I don't move this time, but my whole body is tensing.

"I remember what these hands could do." She purrs.

"What do you want, Elena?"

Get on with it already. That way I can make you fry in the pits of hell where you belong.

"I need you to get rid of that fucking bitch you're dating once again? Or did you not pick up on that? Then after you dump her, I want you to come back to me. I want you to support us. I don't want a flat fee-it's too easy, I was never one for easy. I need your name, your reputation, to get me back to where I was before. Not to mention your poor brother you left behind…"

She's lost her ever fucking mind. She was crazy before, but she must have turned up the dial lately.

"I don't give a shit about him as much as I do you…"

She sighs over dramatically and squeezes my hand. "You really think you are one to play when I hold the fate of your girlfriend's life in my hand? You do know Elliot is antsy to kill her. Just for the sport of it… the only reason he needed to hate her was taking my word. He was such a good pet. I was really hoping you would follow. I would've had both of you Grey boys on my leash."

"Why can't you just let me go, Elena? What is this sick thrill you have attached to me?"

"Money of course," her eyes glance down my body. "And that dick of yours also."

Her hand travels up my arm and I go to pull away and she digs her long-manicured nails into my skin.

"Maybe you could blame your brother. He was never quite enough, but so easy to mold and train. You guys never knew about us and it was sitting right under your nose. Then the boy lost my money- twice." She growls. "But I have a soft for him. I mean, now he's filled with lots of soft spots." She chuckles and then a devil smile rots on her face. "There's something else you didn't know. I knew Elliot's mother. I made a promise to always take care of him. She was my best friend. When I found Grace and Carrick Grey were adopting him," she rolls her eyes, "well I knew I needed to always stay close. I kissed Grace Grey's ass, became one with the society overnight. Then Elliot matured and well… I took care of him the best way I knew how."

I close my eyes and steady my breathing. It took me a long time to see what we did wrong. I think I always knew, though I let this bitch back into my life, because I was lonely, and I was only lonely because of them.

"You make me sick, Elena. What if I do help you? What would stop me from turning you in? I have proof of what you and Elliot have been doing...I could bury you alive."

"Oh, yes I know all about the FBI." she scoffs, "but they still couldn't find us, could they? You have nothing, really. I know that and you know that. But I have something that will make you listen…Her name is Anastasia… Or what you like to call her so affectionately, _Ace..._ your number one girl right?" She mocks. "Sure, you could throw me in jail with Elliot, but the thing is I know many of people, hard asses, killers, that would take care of it for me, isn't that right Tony?" She looks at the ugly giant and he smirks.

"Oh, yes, Mistress, lots of people willing to get hands dirty for you-"

"They wouldn't do it for free…" I spit.

"Wanna bet?" She spits back. "I've given them much quality pussy over the years…pussy is worth more than cash…"

I don't say anything and my temper rising just to kill this bitch with my bare hands. But I can't. I can't till I get more on her and know Ana will be safe no matter what happens today.

"You don't do what I ask at every turn… I'll torture, beat, hell maybe let some people enjoy her, till I get to the point I just kill her. Then just for added measure- your parents and sister Mia. Every wrong step you make it would be their blood on your hands. Maybe when I'm all done with that I'll have enough from you by then… making your death an accident… that way you can be with your _Ace a_ gain. But maybe I won't have to because I Would have molded you where I want you. It's your choice. Just remember I can find her wherever she goes. You can try to run out today with her - I'll find you."

"Can we get to the damn point of what you fucking want?"

Her evil cackle makes my ears bleed.

"It's so simple, just listen, and watch your temper. You really should have better control of it."

I bite the inside of my cheek so hard that I taste blood and nod my head at her to continue.

"I want you to be my good little pet. Elliot and I will move in with you. To the outside world, we will be like a couple. Your money is as good as mine especially when we get married."

Oh, fuck that will never happen. The thought makes my dick shrink and retreat. She really has lost her ever fucking mind.

"What about Elliot? Wouldn't he be upset you left him for me again." I snark. "I wouldn't want to hurt him more than I already have, would I?"

"Molded mind my dear. Plus, the drugs will keep him distracted. He does love that coke up his nose." She snorts. "I'm then going to open my beauty shops again, but also, my clubs. Which really you would be profiting. But these clubs will be special. Hell, you could fuck and whip any of the girls we get. I mean it would be yours too. Get that Ana out of your mind."

"You know there's no way in hell I'm going to reform to you. I rather cut off my dick then touch another woman with it again."

"Aww, aren't you such a Romeo." Her voice deepens, making her sound like the Sea Witch from the Mermaid. I want to laugh since Ana's nickname is fitting for her at the moment. "But I think you said that before and how quickly you changed."

I grit my teeth and close my eyes. Will I ever be able to live down that mistake?

Listen, why don't we work a deal… I keep Ana with me and I let you have access to my money and tell the press were good friends. Like a second mother to me.?" I offer, but I already know it's a lost cause.

She purses her lips and glares at me. She digs her nails into me again, to the point she'll leave a permanent mark before she smiles evilly again, "would you let me train her? Sell her to other men? I mean, she is very pretty, I can't deny that. I've seen what she looks like naked after. I'm sure the world can too. Think of all the money we could make, 'Pay for a night to fuck Christian Grey's girlfriend. For one night you can live like a billionaire'." She hackles.

"You fucking bitch." I roar and stand from the table.

"Sit your ass down boy…"

"No. Take my money- fucking take all of it… I don't care... Just stay away from Ana and my family. I rather have nothing, let you fucking win, as long as they're safe and I'm with them"

"But it's not what I want." She fake pouts.

"It's eight billion dollars. You could do anything…I don't know anyone stupid enough to pass it up."

She shrugs, "There's no fun in that...I like playing games over money. You know that…Now sit your ass back down before I decide to kill the bitch now. I know she's at Dr. Greene's downtown. I have eyes on her. You know making sure she stays the fuck away like I told you or I'll have that cool metal pressed again her head in a second."

I glance at Taylor and he's just as pissed as I am. There's nothing he can do right now. We just need to keep listening. I have no idea what the team we enforced is doing? They should have enough to go on by now. Have they not rushed in knowing if they do they leave Ana at risk? I know they're trying to lure Elliot out, however, how long do they wait to take what they got?

I sit back down in the chair and she grabs my hands again

"Fine, I'll do it. The only thing I ask is I get to say goodbye to her." I choke back, even though it's not going to happen the idea of saying goodbye to Ana kills me.

The freak giant boy leans down and whispers something into Elena's ear. She smiles up at him and that back at me. She looks positively pleased with herself.

"Oh, I would be fine with you telling her...and I'm going to enjoy watching too…"

I ignore her comment. "Fine, now can I go?"

"Ha! I think we have some paperwork to go through first…" She winks.

 **ELLIOT:**

My knuckles turn white from gripping the steering wheel so hard. The bastard got in touch with the FBI. I see them walking around, pretending to be normal. But it's hard not to miss that gray van a block over from the hotel.

Fuck. I slam my head against the wheel.

I was watching the live feed of Elena and Christian, waiting for princess Ana to come out. I can't believe she didn't fully check him, especially now know what I know.

What the fuck to do now. Elena isn't responding to my text about it, but I guess she's busy with Ana now. She and her guards have just entered the hotel a minute ago. She was prepared for her arrival. We knew she wouldn't be able to stay away once she saw the picture.

We should've done this sooner- but the chase has been the most fun if I'm honest about it. I was in my prime and felt on top of the world, no one could catch me. Now it's about to crash.

I can't believe he got smart… F B fucking I. I would have sworn he wouldn't want an outside team enforced at a risk they learn his past lifestyle

I just need to make it worth my while. Change the plan and make this whole plan worth it. And I know just what to do to make Ana pay for what she has done and bring Christian back to where he belongs.

 **ANA:**

Christian answer your phone.

This is the 3rd time I've tried calling him today and he hasn't answered. In fact, it's going straight to voicemail, which is highly unlike him.

I'm sitting in the doctor's office, in a paper gown, my feet dangling from the bed, wishing my damn boyfriend would answer the phone, so I could at least put him on video chat. When I came in today in hopes to try a new birth control I wasn't expecting for the doctor to tell me I was actually pregnant.

I was shocked- the air left my lungs. A baby.

It seems the shot failed, being the crap I knew it was, so in nine months, I'll be bringing a little Steele-Grey into the world. An heir to the GEH throne. I giggle and shake my head at the thought.

After only a little of over two months back together, we're having a baby. I can't help but wonder if we were still together would we have had a bunch more or would this have always been the timing. The meant to be. Why we got back together when we did because this child was always meant to happen, **now**.

Christian and I talked about having kids before in college. Not because we were talking about our forever, but because we had a pregnancy scare after about six months of dating. We were in the middle of finals and I had missed a period and freaked out. I was so nervous about telling him that I was late, but he picked up something was wrong and managed it out of me. In a blurry mess, I told him and he just held me and told it everything would be alright. We ran to the drug store bought every test they had. I remember feeling relieved and disappointed when the pregnancy test came back negative. It was after that the both of us had a serious talk about babies, marriage, and when. We knew we wanted to have them one day but wait till we were older and I guess well- now we're older.

God. I'm having a baby! We're having a baby.

And the man won't answer his damn phone.

I guess I'll need to find another way to surprise him.

Do we get married?

Do we wait?

I mean we have history, but we're still new. Healing our past. I guess if he were to ask- _well ask again_ \- I wouldn't say no. I shove my phone in my purse and will deal with it all later.

Dr. Greene comes back in to do the ultrasound. She gets everything ready while asking me how I'm absorbing the news and starting up the machine. For safety reasons, no one but Dr. Greene is to come into my room. There are too many uncertainties with the staff and since I refused to have Sawyer in with me, it was the only way. Though he stands at the door while the other guy's man other safety points. Sometimes I feel like the damn first lady.

"You ready to see your baby Miss Steele."

I smile and nod my head. "I can get pictures, right?"

That way after I bop the man in the head for not answering his phone, he'll still be able to see the life we created.

 _Our baby._

Holy hell I almost can't wrap my mind around it all. Dr. Greene gets the machine ready and I lay back to allow her to use the prob. It pinches when she inserts it and I wish Christian was here holding my hand or making some dirty joke. Hell, he'd probably get jealous.

After a couple taps the screen comes alive. I don't see much but what looks like a black hole. She moves the probe around just a little a little white blob appears in the center of the black. She freezes the picture and points to the screen.

"That Miss Steele is your baby. I would say you're about four to five weeks along. I'll print you out a copy. Also, I want you to start taking Prenatal Vitamins, and I would like to do some blood work next time you come see me in four weeks?" She smiles at me and I nod.

She hands me the sonogram, "Congratulations Miss Steele. If you have any questions, feel free to call my office.

"Thank you."

She gives me one last smile before walking out the door.

I stare at the picture in my hand and run my finger over the little blimp Christian and I made.

I finish getting dressed when I finally hear my phone ping.

It's about time.

I pull it from my purse and swipe open the screen to my text messages.

Dread washes over me at the picture before me.

I don't know how long I spend looking down at my phone. The grainy picture staring at me never changes no matter how much I will it to. Christian and Elena at some table and she's touching his hands, smiling at him. Why is he letting her touch him? And why is he with her?

The message underneath of it is even more glaring, "Look who has returned to the arm of his Mistress...You knew he wouldn't be able to stay away."

How could he do this to me? I can't believe he has the audacity to do this when I asked him not to.

I resist the urge to throw my phone across the room and stuff it back into my purse. I wipe the fallen tears from my face and exit the doctor's office, without waiting for my prescription. I'll get it later after I sherd Grey into tiny pieces and scatter them around Seattle.

How could he?

He could have at least told me. Anything, but lying to me, again. What does he really think seeing her will do?

I try to shake off my rage, but it's so hard. Like I did with Owen he could've at least tried to tell me. Sawyer is behind me chasing after me through the parking lot.

"Ana, wait?" He grabs my elbow and spins me around. The other men stop behind us.

"Did you know about him meeting with Elena? Tell me the truth. NOW!"

He looks shocked. "No, Miss Steele I didn't. Taylor just told me he was going to a meeting downtown and make sure you were safe."

"I need to go. Give me the keys. I'm driving."

He hesitates, looks to the other guys and tells them to follow behind closely. I'm sure worried about me kicking him square in the nuts with my temper, he hands me the keys and jumps in the passenger seat with me.

I get in my car and speed across town to the Marriott. The Audi behind me with my 'extra protection' stays on my tail. I roll my eyes and wonder if Christian knows he's the one that's going to need the extra protection.

I'm grateful for the light traffic and park across the street.

I run as fast as my heels can take me and run through the doors to the reception desk. Sawyer is hot on my feet, asking me to stop. I stop and spin to look at Sawyer, putting my finger in his face. "Whatever you do. Stay out of my way. Unless someone else is causing me danger- don't touch me and don't stop me." I turn back around to look at the frightened boy in front of me.

"Where are your conference rooms?" I do my best to ask nicely to the poor desk clerk, but it comes out as a barking order.

The young man's eyes widen in surprise, "down the hall on the left." he shudders.

"Thank you." I give him my best smile and speed down the corridor.

I arrive at the door and take a breath. Sawyer pops in front of me and grabs my shoulders.

"Ana…"

"Get out of my way, Sawyer."

The other guards that have been following me, catch up with me. They don't move towards me.

"Ana...Miss Steele." One of them starts and I glare over at him.

"Tell me why I shouldn't? You guys have been nothing but useless fucks lately. My boyfriend put himself in danger and none of you knew about this, I don't believe it for a fucking second. If you don't get out of my way I swear to god. There's fucking four of you behind me, to kill a fucking bitch if you need to, but this more than that. I need to know what this stupid bitch wants, once and for all…."

"Miss Steele…" He's practically begging me to listen and I can't begin to try and listen to him with the blood pumping my ears. Sawyer and Taylor knew that I didn't want Christian seeing the bitch, that I didn't feel safe with him anywhere close to him, and here they're all going behind my back. My feelings didn't matter to them.

"Move…" I hiss. I'm so angry my blood is boiling. I know it wasn't Elena that sent me the picture since she was in it, but at this point, it doesn't matter. There's some static talk come behind me like a walkie-talkie, "they said let her…" I swear one of them mumble, but none of it registers in my ears to make sense of it.

Sawyer steps aside, while the rest of the men move closer.

I fling open the door and my heart shatters seeing what's in front of me. No matter how much I expected it.

Elena has her hand on his and he's not doing anything about it. Both of their heads swing to look at me.

Elena looks smug, evil at best and Christian appears shocked and nervous. He yanks he hand from under Elena's and stands up towards me.

"Ana?" The surprise is advent in his voice. He really didn't expect me to see him cozy up to his so-called friend.

The friend that's been threatening me, been threatening us.

Whatever this meeting is for, whether it's to make her stop or get on his knees for forgiveness, it doesn't matter. He should've told me and even though I would be pissed. It's better than lying to me.

Christian reaches out to me and I put up my hands to stop him, "NO!" I yell, "Stay away from me…"

"Let me explain, Ace...it's not what you think I swear…"

I clench my jaw when he uses my nickname. Does he think trying to sweet me will make this better? If anything, it makes it all worse.

"What's to explain Christian. You went behind my back and saw this stupid bitch when I begged you not to. To let someone else handle her. But you had to do it your way huh? It looked pretty cozy in here moments ago."

"Ana…" He begs again.

"Let her go Christian." Elena's voice interrupts, "She's was never good for you. Always was bringing you down…" She evilly laughs.

 _Fucking Sea-Witch._

"Shut up." Christian hisses turning his head over to her. His angry vein pulsating.

You brought this on yourself Christian.

"No, she's right… Let me go." I start backing out of the room. I can't breathe and all I want to do is run away from it all. I got my proof.

"Ana, please...I had to meet with her..."

"Christian!" Elena yells. "You're breaking the rules of our agreement… remember what I said. You promised to obey me, child." Elena stands to her feet and I see Christian pale.

I sniffle a laugh. The bitch always did have him easily wrapped around his finger. I can't believe Taylor was allowing this shit to happen after everything she's been doing lately.

"I should've known .." I say disgusted "That you would go crawling back to her...go back to bring under her thumb again. What she promise you a bouquet of Submissives?"

I don't even know what I'm saying at this point. My head is a clouded mess and it was like all those years ago. All those secrets he kept from me. Anytime he was with her it was a secret, him deceiving me, to never know the truth about them both. Why I didn't want him to meet her. No matter how much I try to push the past away...Elena was our end because of lies and looking at them now, would he have told me of this meeting? Because I doubt Elena would have let him.

I turn on my heel and run down the hallway. I know Christian or Sawyer or Taylor are hot on my heels. I heard them barking at each other, but I keep going. Knowing it's giving me enough extra time to get away.

I make it through the front doors of the hotel and breathe. My adrenaline pumping through my veins. Everything hurts and this was supposed to be a happy day

I vaguely hear Christian calling for me telling me to stop and listen along with all the other yelling in the background.

I wouldn't be able to listen to anything he says right now. My mind is in a fog and the tears are running down my face. My heart aches and I know I need time.

Right now, all I would do is yell and scream at him. Say everything I don't mean. His reason will mean shit, all I know is he lied and went behind my back. He's been ignoring my calls all day. I should've known he was up to something. No matter what we'll have to talk and get past this, we're still having a baby, I still love him, I just need a couple hours to cry and scream.

I can barely hear the noise of the city or enjoy the fresh air on my face. I feel almost as I'm having an out of body experience.

Christian grabs my waist and spins me around.

"Ana, that meeting wasn't what you think…"

I push his arm off me and shove him away. "There's nothing you could say right now to make this better. I need time."

"Ana, we should talk. Just listen for a second. It was the only way, please."

I sigh, still trying not to cry but I'm failing my cheeks wet. There's a lot of activity and noise going on around us, neither Christian and I paying attention as we stare at each other.

I'm trying to put all my scattered thoughts in order, I just can't right now.

Maybe he did have a good reason, but I thought we were done with secrets? Why did he let her touch him?

"Right now, there's nothing you could say to make this better. I wanna believe you didn't do this to hurt me. But she was touching you. You allowed it. We promised no more secrets and you're still keeping them. I need some time. If you still want us- give me some time then we can talk. But please just leave me alone right now, Please." I beg through my tears and turn away from him.

He nods, and I spin around. I look both ways down the street, it's empty, and I start to cross.

Everything seems to happen in a flash. Screeching tires echo as a car comes speeding towards me. Panic surges through me, I go to run, but the car is fast and driving erratically on this wide roadway, and I feel like a deer in the headlights, despite my moving feet.

Suddenly I'm pushed out of the way violently that I'm sent flying and land on my ass and hands on the asphalt.

I don't have a second to think about the pain. Everything goes in slow motion as the love of my life hits the speeding car with a loud thump and an agonizing cry. The car keeps going as Christian hits the windshield and rolls on the roof and hits the ground hard on his head.

"CHRISTIAN!"

* * *

 **A/N: The end of this and next chapter was the reason I even started this story… sorry** **Don't hurt me… I promise it's okay.. no one dies…no memory loss... and honest the crap is over... Don't be too mad at Ana but she didn't know there was a plan –or Christian for not say he had his reason you'll learn more about next. And fair warning you will not learn what happened after this right in the beginning of the next chapter. I have a plan … but you will find out- promise…**


	16. coming back into the light

**A/N: There is a reason to why I started this chapter the way I did, so stick with me…. You will learn everything that happened from the last chapter in this one. Also, I am not a doctor and googled what I could.. so forgive me now.**

 _ **Christian**_

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

I'm woken abruptly by freezing water covering me. I rush to sit up to find the person I'm going to kill and when my hazy eyes are finally able to focus there's a girl smirking at me holding a red plastic bucket. Even blurry she has an amazing pair of blue eyes, and a banging body. Those tiny shorts, tan legs….

"Morning sunshine. Rise and shine." Her chirping voice pulling me from my gawking.

I shake my head, my hair making the water splatter everywhere.

"Hey, cut it out." The girl laughs. "God, what are you a dog?"

She throws a yellow towel at me. "This should help you dry off and maybe warm up the little guy for you, so he's not so scared and pathetic." she laughs, eyeing me. I look down and notice I'm as naked as the day I was born and my dick has retreated from the pelting of ice water. Glancing around the room I realize I have no idea where I am.

"Who are you?" I ask, standing to my feet, while I rub myself down with a towel. She throws a couple more towels down on the hardwood floor for the excess water.

"Really? Who am I? You're saying that after the magical night we shared…" She bites down on her lower lip and making her eyes large, and whimpers. "I'm hurt." She places her hand over her heart.

"I'm sorry. I had a lot to drink last night. The guys made me drink vodka like it was water." I wrap the towel around my waist and sit on her bed. The adrenaline of my shocking wake-up call wearing off and now the room is spinning like crazy.

 _I think I'm going to die._

"You sure really know how to make yourself at home, don't you?" I lift my head slowly and look at her. I have no idea what she's talking about, but I really wish I could remember that I slept with her. I bet she was amazing.

My now warmed dick starts to stir at the thought of this girl under me and if I wasn't so drunk I would ask for another go around.

She sits down next to me and places her hand on my bare shoulder. I'm surprised when I don't flinch from her touch.

"I'm Ana. But I guess you wouldn't know that anyway since you didn't even ask me last night."

I cringe. "I'm sorry. I didn't hurt you or anything did I? Do things you didn't want? I mean you pelted me, so I must have…"

Considering what I've done in the past, something I haven't done anything with anyone in months, I don't know how I could have acted... controllably. I never had sex without a girl being tied up or retrained somehow. Shit, I haven't even had sex unless there was a contract involved.

 _Fuck. Did she touch me?_

She starts to laugh and I look at her questionably.

"We didn't have sex if that's what you're worried about." She answers still laughing her beautiful little head off.

"But I'm naked."

"I know...You came into my room, took your clothes off at the door, and slipped into my bed. You got mad at me thinking it was your room. We sorta fought." She grins wildly, "Then you said fuck it and tried to cuddle with me because I was warm. I processed and pushed you off the bed, you landed on the floor, where you passed out. Tom came looking for you, he told me that they hazed you, and you were to sneak in here and take our banner or something." She shrugs, "I guess you forgot on the way over. I told him you were fine where you were and I would return you in the morning. I figured them thinking you got laid would help lessen the blow against you for not succeeding in your task."

I purse my lips together and close my eyes, trying to force myself for the memory to come back.

Then it hits me.

" _What are you doing in my bed?" I yell at the figure hogging my bed. She smells good though._

" _No. What the fuck are you doing in my bed?" She yells and pushes me away._

" _You're in my room…." I close my eyes. The room is spinning and am I really going to argue with having what I think is a hot girl in my bed._

 _I hope she's still hot when I wake._

" _This is not your room pig head. AND why are you naked?"_

 _I look down at myself and laugh. "Because I was getting ready for bed…." I wiggle my eyebrows, "You're a surprise."_

" _It's not your fucking bed, dick." I laugh at her poor attempt to push me off._

" _Fine, but I'm staying because you're warm." I reach out to grab her and pull her to me._

" _Get off me you pig," She shoves me again and that's the last thing I remember._

I laugh, all of it coming back to me now. "Sorry about that. I'm not usually like this. Forgive me?"

"I guess. Just don't let it happen again Frat boy."

"What if I want it to happen again?" I run my hand down her shoulder and she sniffles a laugh.

"Are you telling me that you like waking up in freezing cold water?"

"No, what I'm saying is…"

I grab her face and pull her to me. I'm thankful when she doesn't pull back from me. She wants me as much as I want her. I can feel it.

"That I want to wake up to you again…"

"Christian." She whispers my name…But it's faint like she's far away instead of right next to me.

I ignore it and keep moving closer to her pouty lips.

"Christian…" she whispers again. All I can think about is how much I love the sound of my name leaving her lips. I feel hands on my chest, but it's okay. I love that she can easily touch me.

"Say my name again…"

"Christian…" I ignore the fact that it sounds panicked and still far away. I need to kiss her. I need her to be mine.

Our lips are centimeters away from touching.

I can feel her breath, then-in a blink, she vanishes from me.

The room is gone and suddenly I'm standing in the middle of a road, a car coming at me. I see Elliot. He's behind the wheel and I freeze. My brother's eyes; evil and piercing.

I hear Ana again, she's calling out for me. I look beside me and she's on the ground, but I can't reach out to her.

I need to get to her.

But she vanishes again.

And when I turn back the car is now gone as well.

What the hell is going on?

The world is spinning, flashes of what seems like my life in my eyes, and when it's done, I'm now in a meadow. I don't know this place. I'm alone, but I hear laughter. I push my way through the tall grass when I hear my name again.

" _Christian. Come on Christian, I know you're there…come back to me hotshot."_

I make it to a field, along the water edge. Ana is there, glowing in the sunlight with a little boy in her arms. He's got hair like mine. They don't notice me and I try to move closer to them, but no matter how much I walk, I can't get to them.

I call out to her and nothing. I watch them play and laugh, and it's warming my heart to see them so happy. I need to get to them.

She finally puts the little boy down who goes running off, though I can't see where. She puts her hand on her belly. Her very pregnant belly. She smiles and finally looks to me. She holds out her arms and again I try to move and I can't.

There's a bright flash and I cover my eyes. When I open them again, I'm in a dark tunnel. There's a blinking light hanging above me and I'm alone once again.

And engine roars and the car is back, coming straight for me.

I can't move. I need to move and get out of here. Back to Ana.

**BANG!**

Everything goes black. In this distance, I hear beeping noises and a voice talking. It's mumbled, but I swear it's Ana's voice.

Ana.

The dark now has little rays of light peeking through. I start to panic. My throat is closed up. I'm trapped in this darkness, unable to open my eyes, and I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

My body is flopping around like a fish out of water as I reach for the item that's cutting off my airway. Get it out of me. I can't die. I can't die. I need to get to Ana.

I'm choking.

 _Save me._

I'm vaguely aware of someone's voice screaming out for help. At least I hope they were screaming for help.

I try to peel open my eyes, but everything is blurry around me. A sea of white comes at me, voices I don't know, and strong arms on my shoulders holding me down.

"Mr. Grey….it's okay…try to relax" I try to focus on the person talking to me.

Help me. I want to yell. I can't yell.

Pain rips through my throat as someone removes the item from deep in my chest. It burns. My throat is on my fire.

I start to cough and when I do it's like there are glass shards cutting me in my windpipe.

"Sir...Mr. Grey. Try to taking steady breaths for me." My vision slowly is becoming clearer and I can tell the person hovering over me is an older woman in purple scrubs.

I nod and close my eyes back and try to breathe even though it hurts. I'm exhausted.

I feel someone touching my chest and I panic all over again, trying to scream and push the person off me. Thankfully, the hand is quickly removed. No one touches me. No one.

Only Ana.

"Ana…" My voice comes out but it's rough, like I have swallowed a million jagged rocks, and barely above a whisper. I doubt anyone heard me.

"Mr. Grey. Relax." A ruff male voice says. My eyes peel open to the dark-haired man.

"I need to check your lungs. I'm aware of your _haphephobia_ _,_ _b_ ut it's really important that I listen to your lungs."

I shake my head. I don't want him to touch me. I look around the room and try to see if there's anyone I know here. I'm disappointed when I don't see a single familiar face. Where's my family?

Where's my Ana?

Then I feel my chest tighten again and my throat constricts making it hard to breathe again. A flash. A memory of Ana's face when I last saw her. The hurt, the disgust, the anger that mirrored her beautiful face before she turned away and ran from me.

The voices around me are shouting and there are hands holding me down again My vision blurs and I feel as though someone is squeezing my heart.

I can't breathe again.

I want my girl. Where is she, why am I here? I ask myself, trying to place what is going on.

"Christian?"

Her angelic voice rings in my ears and my head turns to her. When I see her it's like she's glowing once again. My body ceases its movements and the weight that was on my body is instantly lifted.

"Ana?" I manage to croak out.

She nods her head and moves to the side of the bed. The nurse and doctor move away. "You're awake. It's so good to see you." She brushes my hair back. She's crying, I want to wipe the tears from her face, but I don't have the strength. "I'm missed you…" She sniffs.

I go to talk, but she silences me by placing her lips on my mouth. "Don't talk. I'm sure your voice hurts." She whispers and kisses me again. "Dr. Harold needs to look you over. You can trust him and I'm here. Would me having my hand on your chest at the same time help?"

I nod. Her touch always makes me forget everything.

Ana sits down on the edge of the bed next to my head.

People are working around me, but my eyes are only focused on Ana and her touch. My angel is here. She's not gone. She's here.

"Mr. Grey…" The male voice calls to me. Ana smiles at me and nods towards the man now hovering over me. I turn my gaze away and look at the man in the lab coat.

"I'm Dr. Harold. Welcome back." he gives a faint smile.

What?

That's what I try to say when I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. My throat burns. My body is weak and I already feel ready to go back to sleep, but I fear I have already done enough of that today.

"It's better that you don't try to talk right now. You've were intubated, and when that comes out it makes your throat and chest sore. The nurse is going to bring you some water and I want you to take small sips. It'll start to ease over time. You're going to be weak for awhile. I'm going to order some scans and some blood work. Your last brain scan came back good, so I'm hoping now will be even better since you're awake. I would like to get you moving as soon as possible. You've lost a lot of muscle."

I look at puzzled and then back at Ana who brushes her hand down my face, looking as if I'm not real.

"How long?" I choke out.

"Almost four months, well three months 3 weeks and two days to be exact," Ana tells me and her lip shakes. She's trying to keep herself from crying.

I hear the doctor tell me that he'll be back shortly, but I don't acknowledge it as I realize all the time I lost.

Holy shit. Four months? I've been like this for four months? I close my eyes and see the car again coming at Ana, at me. What would have happened to her if I didn't? What happened after that?

"Are you okay?" My gravel voice only pronounces some of the words fully.

"I'm fine, thanks to you." She leans down and kisses me gently on the lips. The feeling of her soft lips is like heaven. If I had the energy, I'd kiss her some more. I feel as though I have a house sitting on my body.

She grabs a styrofoam cup and puts it to my lips, "small sips...it probably won't feel very good, but it'll help."

I take a small sip of water

"I've missed you so much…" She cries the tears finally escaping her. "You don't know how good it is to see your eyes open, to hear your voice, even if it sounds horrible. I love you so much."

She kisses me again.

"I you…." I say softly and my eyes start to droop.

"Rest baby. You need your strength. I'm right here." She grabs my hand and I doze off.

I'm taken for CT scan, blood work, and EEG, everything under the sun. It's hours after I'm wheeled back in my room. But so far everything looks good. I had a collapsed lung, which is why I needed the breathing tube. A broken leg, which healed before I woke. I had severe swelling, which I had surgery to release the pressure, but it seems from all the trauma my body went through, I remained in a coma. They thought I should've woken up months ago, but when I didn't they thought I might never wake or be a vegetable. It was only in the last weeks things started to change and I slowly started responding to voices and touch. It seemed when doctors or nurses would touch my chest I would moan and my heart rate would spike. I'm a rare case of waking up the way I have after being out so long, but he seems to think I had my reasons to come back.

Ana.

I just hate my body for not coming sooner.

Ana hasn't left my side any night since I was admitted. The staff even let her room with me and gave her a bed to sleep on right next to mine. One of the nurses kept going on and on about it, she was so moved by Ana and her love for me. I guess a couple times people tried to convince her to go home at least for one night, and she refused.

I always knew she was as stubborn as I was.

They want me to be able to get up and walk, holding up some of my own strength before I go home. I'll more than likely have to have a Physical Therapist come to the house. Other than that the doctor thinks I will do fine. Maybe some headaches, weakness, and pain till I gain my strength again, but my outlook is good… and it might be due to my body having the longer time to heal.

x=x=x=x

I'm wheeled back into my room and look around and notice Ana isn't here. Where did she go?

"I made her go get some food while she waited." Dr. Harold tells me, placing his chart on the table. "I knew if she didn't do something besides wait around she would go crazy. Your mom, dad and sister are here as well."

I nod. "Send her in first?"

"Of course."

Five minutes later, Ana walks in. God, she's beautiful, even in my oversized grey Harvard sweatshirt and yoga pants, with her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. She's crying, her hand over her mouth.

"Ace…" I grin and open my arms to her.

She runs over to me and wraps her arms around me and buries her head into the side of my neck. "You're really awake. I kept thinking it was going to be a dream," she rasps.

"I'm here." She looks up at me and rubs her nose against mine, gently kissing me on the lips.

"I can't put into words how happy I am. That you're okay. I was so worried…" She kisses me again. "I love you so much, hotshot. So fucking much…"

"No more crying." I wipe her tears away with my thumb.

She sniffs, "I'm trying…Do you want me to bring your parents in and Mia?"

I shake my head and she looks at me funny. "I just need some time with you."

"Your family misses you just as much…"

"But they didn't cozy up to me every night. Plus, the last time we saw each other..."

She frowns and nods that she understands.

"How have you been?" I run my hand down her face. She leans into my touch and gives me a weak smile.

She shrugs, "surviving, I guess would be the best way to put it. Between praying that you wake up, working, and sleeping, I don't feel like I've done much else." She chuckles softly.

"God, GEH." It didn't even cross my mind. Not only has Ana been dealing with me but also needing to deal with the company.

"It's been taken care of don't worry. Ros actually came back to help out for however long she needs. I started going back in during the day after about three weeks, but I would mostly work here when I could. AND _somebody_ left me as acting CEO, so I _had_ to go in..." She smiles at me, nudging my shoulder slightly.

What Ana never knew was if I ever became incapacitated or died, GEH would be hers, and she would have control everything I owed. I always wanted to give her the world, years ago, even though we weren't together, I would do that in death or if something happened to me where I couldn't make conscious decisions. My family would be left with enough to be happy, but I wanted to show her I always loved her. I knew even if we never had the chance to get back together she was the one I trusted my enterprise with. I never saw myself getting married if it wasn't to Ana, so it worked well.

"I hated leaving you. But I would come back every night and stay with you. It pays to have money." She giggles. "Got you the private room and they let me have a bed next to you. I would hold your hand and talk to you. Hoping you would wake up soon."

"You really stayed?" I say, still in disbelief. I mean I knew, but just hearing it again from her makes it all surreal.

"Yeah. You saved my life and I love you. I needed to be close to you. Let you know that I was here for you because I know the last time we saw each other…" she trails off. "I needed to be here, so when you woke up, you knew that I wasn't ever going anywhere."

"I'm glad you were. You were my first thought when I woke up. Come here…" I wave my hand. My body is still weak, but I need to hold her, love her. For me, it feels like it's only been a day since I last touched her, but knowing that's not true, I need to possess her, feel her body mold with mine again.

Ana crawls into the bed that is next to mine. I still can't believe she stayed here every night. That's four months of sleeping in a less than comfortable situation.

I take her hand and pull her close to me onto my bed. Most of my wires are gone now. She's kneeling next to me, her body leaning over me. I kiss her lips softly as she moves her hands through my hair. I need to touch her everywhere. I run my hands down her arms, over her chest, to her legs, before my hands work their way under her oversized t-shirt that used to belong to me. Her body tenses as my hands make contact with her bare skin. I travel up her stomach and realize it's no longer flat and small hard bump has taken over.

She grabs my hand leaving it on her stomach. She looks at me worry entering her beautiful blue eyes as she chomps down on that luscious bottom lip of hers.

"Ana?" I ask nervously

"I wanted to wait to tell you when you've been awake for a little longer…" my heart starts to clamor. I know what this might mean and I know it's more than just eating more than her fair share of doughnuts

"Tell me what?"

"I'm pregnant…" She says softly and I retract my hand.

She's so tiny. There's no way in hell she could be over four months? She has to be newly pregnant- a month or two maybe?

 _What the hell do you know about pregnant woman, Grey?_

 _But I've been in a coma. I know she didn't tell me before the accident. So, I'm not forgetting. Also, she was on birth control._

My mind is in overdrive. My head is pounding already but now with the anxiety building, it's even worse. Why would she tell me she loves me and then be with someone else? A one night stand because she got lonely? The thought of her with another man makes me want to vomit.

No. She wouldn't do that. I know she wouldn't do that to me. Maybe she took my sperm just in case I didn't wake?

 _Oh, that's ridiculous, Grey._

Ana sits up and moves away from me. Tears slowly running down her face. "I can see by the disgusted look on your face what you're thinking. You really think I would do _that?_ Be with someone else while you're in a coma after I've told you I've been with you every day. That I love you?" She gets off the bed and starts to pace.

"I don't know what to think. You have this tiny bump that I didn't even notice till I touched you. So, you can't be that far along and I've been in a coma for four months…" I say calmly and slowly, sparing my voice. I'm so confused. I hope she wouldn't, but I have no idea what's happened these last months.

"I'm five months, twenty weeks as of tomorrow if you want to be technical." she crosses her arms over her chest. "It's your baby, Christian."

I swallow and shake my head vigorously at what she just said. I'm going to be a father? Trying to wrap my mind around it all. She's pregnant. The two of us are having a baby. A baby we might have had years ago. I stare at her stomach. She's so tiny.

"Shouldn't you be bigger?" I ask confused.

She looks at me and snorts. "Every woman is different, I'm quite normal." She rubs her over her belly. "You still don't believe me, do you? This is why I wanted to wait to tell you, I know it's a surprise." she sniffs and wipes her nose with the back of her hand.

"I'm just caught off guard, can you understand that?" She doesn't look at me and nods. "The last thing I remember is you looking at me like you hated me…" Never thought I would wake up from my girlfriend to tell me she's pregnant.

"I didn't hate you Christian… I was upset and hurt you didn't listen to me. But I get it now, why you did it."

I close my eyes and the memory of why I was meeting with Elena appears. She was threatening Ana, she was working with people, and I knew the only way to try and stop her was to handle it myself.

"You do?"

Ana nods and walks closer to me. "I do. I was overwhelmed. I just found I was pregnant and they sent me the picture. I went hoping to think it wasn't true or kick your ass, I just had enough of the whole thing, but when I saw you, I crashed. I would have never left you. I just needed to clear my head. But…" She crosses her arms over her chest and more tears slip down her face, "I really think we should talk about that later. Your family is here and you shouldn't even be talking this much."

"I want to know and I'm fine."

She raises her eyebrow at me, "You sound like you smoke twenty packs a day and swallowed a bag of gravel."

"Please...and come here." She hesitates for a second before walking back to the beds.

I pat the side next to me and she curls next to me. My hand runs over her stomach. A baby. _We're having a baby_. It's still a shock, but god damn, there's nothing more I want, than to start a family with Ana.

The second we got back together, I've only been thinking about putting a ring in it.

"I'm very happy about this," I tell her in a whisper. "I love you."

She runs down my face, "I love you, too. So much Christian. If it wasn't for you…" Her hand falls over the top of mine that's on her stomach.

I kiss her forehead. I remember it all so vividly. Ana in the middle of the street, the car speeding out of nowhere, and all I knew was I had to get her out of the way. I don't remember anything after that, but there's no denying I would do it again because if I didn't, I wouldn't have her and we could have lost the baby.

"We're they caught? Tell me everything, please" I need to know. I don't want to keep sitting here and thinking that they could be out running around. That they didn't pay the price. Did the plan Taylor and I put into motion help anything, because it sure didn't avoid me getting hit by a car.

She sighs, and I know she doesn't really want to tell me anything right now, but she relents.

"Before the accident, while we were outside talking, Elena was pissed you left, the guys you had extra covering me, along with Sawyer, and two other FBI went in after her and that Tony guy to arrest them. It seems Elena was packing heat…" She scrubs her face with her hands. "I was told she drew the gun from her ankle and Tony drew his. There was a standoff. They tried talking her down. Sawyer inched the wrong way and she shot him." her frown deepens, "he's okay now, thankfully only got him in the arm, they got the bullet out and he has full use of it, and already back at work, following me everywhere at his request." she giggles softly and rolls her eyes, then sighs, going back into the story, "after she shot him, one of the FBI agents shot her in return, and killed her instantly."

"Good," I mumble. Though she got off easy.

"Well, yeah. But most of the agents were distracted by that. So, after you got hit…" she swallows and touches my face. "Elliot actually got out of the car…."

 **Flashback Ana pov**

The car screeches to a halt in front of me but I don't care as I crawl over to Christian.

"Ana don't touch him. An ambulance is on the way." Taylor yells at me. But I don't look at him my eyes can't leave the bloody twisty body of my boyfriend. He's hurt. I have to help him.

There's blood coming from his head and his ears, and places I'm not sure where. His leg is bent in the most awkward way.

"Christian," I cry. I touch his neck, wanting to feel his pulse to know that he's alive. It's faint but it's there.

"It was supposed to be you…" A rough voice grits out and I turn my head to see Elliot. I know it's him even with the long thick black hair and large belly. He's snarling as he walks towards us.

"You bitch… you ruin everything…It was supposed to be you-" Elliot charges towards me, but he doesn't make it far Taylor intercepts him and pummels him to the ground, laying a punch after punch into his face.

I hear the siren's blare around us. Someone kneels beside Christian and grabs his wrist. I see a see a flurry of people surround us and running in and out of the hotel. I question where Elena is, but only for a second to focus back down at Christian. My tears running down my cheeks faster and harder.

"Christian..." I push his hair back, that's' now soaked in blood. The world around me turning black. Wanting this to all be a dream. "I love you Christian. I need you to be okay. We're having a baby. Come back to me hotshot. I'm so sorry." My tears land on his forehead and I wipe them off. "I just needed to clear my head." I gasp, my lungs burning from my deep sobs. "I'm so sorry. Elliot's right it should've been me. I should've talked to you…"

There's a hand on my shoulder and I notice two EMT's around me. "Ma'am, you need to let us work. Once we get him loaded you can come with us." I nod and step away.

My heartbeat in my ears is still making all the words fade around me. I hear them say he's got a pulse, but his oxygen level is low. I watch as they start to work on him and load him carefully onto the stretcher.

"GET OFF ME!" Elliot voice echoes in the street.

I spin on my heel, knowing I should stay with Christian but right now there's nothing I can do. I rush over to Elliot about to attack him the way Taylor just did, but I'm grabbed around the waist before I can.

I struggle in the person's arms who holds me back and I can't think of anything to say to the bastard. I just wanted to rip him apart. My words won't matter anyway, he doesn't care and I break down into tears.

I'm so fucking scared. There was so much blood. I can't lose him. I can't.

"It was supposed to be you…" Elliot yells at me again.

He's right. It should've been.

"Get him out of here…." Someone yells and Taylor takes me from the unknown arms. Taylor twists me around and I crumble into his arms.

"He needs to be alright. I should be…" I hiccup.

Taylor brushes my hair, much like my father used to when I would cry. "He'll be alright. Christian is strong and stubborn. He'll pull through this…"

I nod, but right now I find it hard to believe. The image of him flipping over the car plays over and over in my mind.

Taylor finally grabs my face and has me look at him. "It's over…and he will be alright…"

"You can't promise me that…" I shake my head, "he's my everything. I didn't want him to meet with her because I was afraid she would manipulate him like she did before, to save me. I know him that well, Taylor. And I love him for it. But I need him. Why did he do this, put himself in danger..." I hiccup and look at the sea of activity.

"I'll explain it all after he's been taken to the hospital and evaluated… I promise."

I nod and not having the strength for words anymore.

"He's ready…." The EMT yells towards me. Taylor gives me a squeeze and lets me go. I run towards the ambulance. I notice another one pulls up as I climb in. The EMT's rush inside.

The ride to the hospital is a blur of medical talk and his vitals. I finally feel the pain my ass from my fall, but I grip onto Christian's hand the whole way, prying he comes out of this.

Once he's wheeled into the ER, I'm kicked to the waiting room, so they can look him over. I fall into the seats and realize I don't have anything on me. My purse was in my car. I need to call his parents. How do I explain this to them? That their oldest son hit his own brother while trying to get me.

I hug my arm around my belly. He saved me. He saved us.

I wipe my tears and walk to the nurse's station. "Can I borrow your phone?" Her eyes go wide when she looks at me. That's when I look down at myself and notice I'm covered in blood. I give her a weak smile and she hands me up the phone.

"I'm going to get you some scrubs," she mutters and I thank her, dialing Taylor's number. I have no idea what Grace or Carrick's numbers are by heart. Though I vaguely wonder if she's working.

"Miss Steele?" I hear Taylor's rough voice over the line.

"I left everything in my car and I don't have the Grey's number could you give it to me?"

He rambles off the numbers and tells me he's coming in with Sawyer and nothing else after that. The nurse comes back and hands me a pair of blue scrubs.

"You wouldn't happen to know if Dr. Grace Trevelyan is working today, would you?"

"I can check…" The nurse quickly types something into her computer and then looks back at me, "yes, she's here."

"Is there any way to page her. Let her know it's an emergency. Her son was just taken back and as you can tell it's not good."

"Yes, ma'am."

I dial Carrick's number while the nurse works and tell him quickly to meet me here and hurry. That I'll explain everything when he gets here.

I rush to change into scrubs and by the time I get out Taylor arrives, and I see Sawyer pass me on a stretcher back towards where Christian went into.

"What happened?"

"Sawyer got shot by Elena. It hit him in the arm-"

"WHAT?"

He tells me what happened when Christian went after me, and that Elena is in fact dead. That when they were loading Sawyer up they checked her pulse. She was shot in the heart. I can only wonder how they did that since the bitch didn't have one of those.

Taylor is about to tell me how and why this all happened when Grace comes into the room. My heart aches seeing her, knowing I'm going to have to shatter her heart.

"What happened?"

"Christian-" I gasp out, knowing that this is going to be so hard on her. I couldn't imagine learning any of this from a mother's point of view. "Christian was hit by a car, trying to save me. He was meeting with Elena… and I found out and I got mad- wanting space… I just- Elliot was aiming for me and -" crap hold it together, Ana. You need to be strong for her. These are her babies.

"I'm so sorry Grace. They arrested Elliot and Christian is in the back. I haven't heard anything, but he had a pulse. But he landed on his head…"

The woman that I used to look to as a second mother breaks down into tears. I reach out to hug her and I'm glad when she accepts it. I just want to know I'm here for her.

We hug which seems like forever, when Carrick comes into the room, breaking us apart. Taylor explains to them what happened and that's when I learn about the picture with the gun to my head.

"You're telling me they broke into the penthouse?"

"They accessed the roof and then came down through the balcony. They sent Christian pictures with the gun to your head...and then sent him texts telling him where to meet and that's when we managed to get the FBI fully involved. They thought it would also be better not to tell you as well, to keep it all realistic. They figured if you knew your attitude would change and they would know which would blow the plan. Christian didn't agree but it was the only way to hope they would fuck up. Elena did that within minutes, but they wanted Elliot as well. Elena might be the mastermind, but Elliot was the most unstable. They saw that a mile away. When you came, they allowed you in, instead of telling you, hoping they could bum rush her. Well, things changed when you argued, when you ran out they were on their way in. They let Christian go after you…"

I guess that's all the yelling I heard when I ran out. I close my eyes tightly. I should've stayed there and talked. I shouldn't had come at all.

"So, if I didn't come?" I'm trying hard to stay strong, but it's impossible. I feel as the world is ending around me, and I could've avoided it. I have no idea what is happening to Christian, and it scares me to my very core that I might lose him. I can't lose him. His parents can't lose him, Mia, either. We need him. Our baby needs their father.

 _Christian, please be okay… please God let him be okay._

"It's hard to say, Ana. They're questioning Elliot now, but we have no idea what they would have done if you didn't."

I look over at the two heartbroken parents. Carrick has Grace wrapped in his arms.

"I'm sorry Ana, Mr., Mrs. Grey. This is my fault. I somehow dropped the ball countless of times. IT was my job to protect you both. I will-"

"Don't even say it, Taylor," I bark between my tears. "We're going to need you and Christian wouldn't expect anyways. We just need to figure shit out to make sure there's never a next time. But no, I won't allow it…"

"Ana's right Taylor." Carrick steps in and Grace bundles me into her arms. I don't listen to anything else they say as Grace and I start crying again. I do hear him asking where Elliot is, but close out the rest. I only hope he gets what's coming to him, but I won't state that out loud to his parents.

After an eternity a doctor finally comes in to talk to us.

"Mr. Grey has severe swelling in his brain, we've rushed him to surgery to help try to relieve some of the pressure. Afterwards we will run another EEG to check his brain activity. He has a collapsed lung which caused us to have to intubated since he's not doing it on his own. Also, his left leg is broken. We're hoping after we relieve the pressure on his brain he'll start to wake up, but he could remain in a coma for a couple of days or weeks. I'll be back to talk to you more as the surgery progresses. When he gets out, he'll be admitted into the ICU. Unfortunately, I have to ask, if there's a DNR place?"

"No… no... there's not right?" I look to Grace and Carrick. He wouldn't do that. He's the most stubborn man in this world, he would want to be saved just to be a pain in the ass again.

"No, there's not," Carrick tells him. I believe Grace and I take a huge sigh of relief.

"Alright, we're going to do whatever we can. I have a good feeling though…"

"Would you know anything about Luke Sawyer?" I ask, knowing there's another person's life that may be hanging in the balance because of me.

"I can find someone to get with you."

"Thank you."

He nods his head before turning away.

Now we wait.

"Ana, you should probably get checked out as well," Taylor tells me.

"I'm fine. Just some scrapes on my hands and a sore behind…" I wave him off.

Taylor clears his throat and I look back at him. "What Taylor? I'm fine. Plus, I'm not going anywhere till he comes out of surgery."

"Ana, Sawyer told me." He stresses, narrowing his eyes at me.

I look at him confused for a second, then down at my belly. "Oh." When in the hell did he tell him that? Sawyer asked me on the way of me driving to the hotel. I told him I was and avoiding crying trying not to think what Elena was threatening Christian with to make him leave.

I landed on my ass I should be okay. My body shakes from the overwhelming thoughts of what if?

Grace sits down next to me and puts her arm around me. "Honey, what's going on?"

"I'm pregnant…" I bite my lip, "I didn't get to tell him yet. He saved us, even though it was my fault. I'm so sorry Grace."

She holds me tighter and kisses my forehead. "None of that young lady. This is Elena and Elliot's fault. Or really mine, because I didn't protect either one of my sons from that bitch." She cries again.

"It's not though, Elena is nuts and knew what she was doing from day one. I hope she's rotting in hell…and getting pineapples shoved up her ass, pointy side first." I spit and it gets a small giggle out of her through her tears.

"Oh, I'm sure the devil has something special in store for her. Now, we should get you looked over just in case. But if you landed on your butt, it should more than likely be okay. I'll let them know where to find us, but it's going to be hours sweetie and this will only take a moment."

"Okay, you're right."

"Well, at least one good thing came out of today." He pats my still flat stomach. "I'm going to be a grandmother, and my son a father. He's going to ecstatic when he finds out you know."

I nod and close my eyes. I hope I get to tell him soon because that will mean he's alright.

X-x-x-x

Two weeks have gone by and there are no changes. He hasn't woken up yet. But he needs to soon. He still has brain activity. He's still there, I just wish he would come back. They're afraid if he doesn't wake up soon, he might not, but as long as the swelling keeps going down and his brain activity continuities it's just a matter of waiting.

I help do his therapy to keep his body moving, lifting and bending his arms and legs, well besides the left one which is still in a cast.

I haven't left this hospital, besides to go outside for some fresh air, but other than that I won't leave till he wakes up. Once he got out of the ICU, the staff took pity on me, or since they know I will pay for it, and set me up with a bed next to Christian's because I was spending every night hunched over with my head on his bed, holding his hand. Thinking if he moved I would feel it right away.

Now to keep my mind busy when I'm alone with just Christian is a way to set up what I have for others -such for parents and significant others to stay comfortably with their loved ones. They give beds sometimes, but they're uncomfortable as hell. I've already had something being approved on the peds level for parents with the kids in long-term care. I've been talking to Grace and working a fundraiser to add a wing.

Luke went home last week. They got the bullet out and he's doing well. He came to see Christian the other day and he's already itching to come back to work. I told him to take a break for now because there's no way I'm going anywhere yet.

Grace walks in and sits down her bag. She walks to Christian and kisses his forehead. She then comes over and gives me a hug. "I really wish you would get out of here for a bit. You're going to end up going crazy, Ana."

"I can't. I know the second I leave he'll wake up and I need to be here when he wakes."

"You know they will call you right away." she pushes my hair back. "I know you're still blaming yourself for this. But all of this isn't good for you and the baby. You need to break away from this, even for a little bit. There's nothing wrong with that."

"But he doesn't get to break away from this…"

"I know. But as I tell people. You're going to be his caregiver and you need to be strong and be able to care and you can't do that doing what you're doing right now."

"I know...but."

"No buts. Actually, there's something Carrick and I needed to tell you. We've been waiting to tell you since you had Ros come in and help out with GEH."

I had called Ros after a couple of days, knowing that someone needed to be at GEH dealing with stuff. Everyone knew what happened and well, GEH needed a leader before it went crazy and people using Christian's hospitalization to find a way to monopolize on it. Ros more than was willing to help out and jumped on the first flight over. I've done a few things to pass time, but my heart isn't in it right now.

"What?"

Grace pulls out a couple of papers from her bag and hands them to me. "Carrick wanted to be here to explain this to you but he's dealing with um…" she frowns and I take her hand. She can't even say Elliot's name anymore. He was locked up in the ward and pulling some lame silent treatment. Carrick has been talking to the psychiatrist about his past since Elliot has gone mute. I'm not sure if I believe this crazy show he's putting on, but again I keep it to myself for Grace and Carrick.

Mia has been a wreck. It's hard for her to come here and see her big brother this because of her other brother. She calls me on a daily basis, but some people aren't meant for the hospital setting. It's like - death.

"Yeah I know he told me."

She gives me a small smile, and I look down at the papers she handed me. "What's this?"

"Christian changed his will…" I pale. Will?

"Nothing bad sweetie. I promise. This is to state if at any time he was incapacitated you would become acting CEO to GEH and also his power of attorney."

The world stops and I swear I also stop breathing. "He did _what_?"

Grace squeezes my hand tightly. "Christian loved you more than anything in this world. And no matter how the both of you didn't see it for years, and I get why after he explained everything to me, but he wanted you to have everything. I remember when he came to Carrick with this… he didn't care if he was 100 when he passed, he needed you to know how much you meant to him, even if it was in the end to your kids."

Drops of my tears fall onto the paper. I can't believe he did this. Why would he do this? I look towards my boyfriend who sleeps soundless, how I wish he would just snore for me, and take his hand.

 _We're going to have a serious talk when you wake up mister._

"Why won't he wake up Grace?" I sob.

"He will when he's ready. And if I know my son, he'll wake up ready to take on the world…"

I look down at the papers and I know I'll have to go back to GEH and make sure he has the world to come back too. I don't think the company would crumble, but if Christian trusted me to handle it all, that's what I'll do. I'm sure I can work from here most of the time. Talk shop to the sleeping man, and no arguments. I smile, I want to disagree with him again over M&A like we always did. But no matter what, I'll be in sleeping next to him every night.

 **Present time.**

 **Christian's POV.**

"The FBI charged, Elliot, Haley, and some guy named Tony Glosser with attempted murder, conspiracy to murder, blackmail, and well the list is a mile long. The Tony guy was the one in the pictures with the gun to my head. They had these lasers set up across the street in the Evergreen condos. That's how they listened without being noticed. They tracked our phones GPS from cell towers. Actually, every single one of our CPO's were hacked. Elliot killed Hanks. He admitted that Hanks was going to confess about Elliot's blackmail, and he killed him." She frowns, "They actually had to put Elliot is a Psychiatric facility. After he was arrested he lost it. From what I was told he went crazy lashing out at everyone, about hitting you and not me. That's when he started rambling his confession. He admitted that the plan was to take me along. Either they were going to follow me, knowing I would walk out if I caught you with Elena and take me from wherever I went. I'm not sure exactly how considering the five guys I had around me, or Elena distracting them was also the plan. No matter which I did, he swore up and down they would have gotten to me - and you know…even if you did what Elena wanted they still would have tried to get to me. It was basically damn if I did damn if I didn't. But the FBI threw him off and that's when he tried to run me over."

"I just wanted -"

She grabs my hand and puts it on her face. "I know… I know…" She kisses the palm of my hand.

"After Elliot's crazy admission. I only saw the tape, but your dad went to go see him. Wanting answers. He wanted to know what he did wrong when they raised him and so on. But when your dad told him about you, at the time you weren't in good condition. He got mad again. But the kicker of it all was no one told him Elena was dead. If you ever see the video it's like he got hit by a train. He fell into his chair and he hasn't spoken since. So, after that, he was evaluated and they said he couldn't face trial and they locked him up."

"Padded walls might be too good for him though."

"I know, but he's in a room much like a prison. I actually went to go see him…"

"You did what?" I yell but it comes out like static and she rolls my eyes.

 _Oh, darling girl, just you wait till I'm up and going again._

"I needed to see for myself. I thought maybe if he saw me I would set him off. That he would talk. I thought maybe it was just an act." She shakes her head and closes her eyes at the memory. "He's completely gone, I think. He looked at me and nothing crossed his face. Nothing. I tried asking questions, demanding him to answer me, and then he curled into a ball and started to suck his thumb. I really don't think it's an act. The psychiatrist thinks he's gone to some childhood like state. I think him finding out the person that had all this control over him was gone, kind of made him snap into himself. He really was her puppet and now he's lost. A child needing someone to care for him. Although if he ever pops out of it, he will face his charges. But he's as good as locked him, he's not living in a lap of luxury. That's for sure."

I close my eyes and pinch my nose. He should pay for what he did. For trying to take Ana from me. From taking me from her.

Ana's hand brushes through my hair, "you okay? We can talk about this later. This is a lot at once, baby."

"No, tell me. I rather know now then have to think of it anymore."

"You're supposed to be taking it easy…"

"Is it bad?" She shakes her head. "Then tell me."

"You're impossible, Mr. Grey. You do know your very worried family is out there…."

I grab her chin, my arm feeling like spaghetti. But I power through. "Tell me,"

She rolls her eyes and cuddles herself into me.

"Haley started talking, she wanted a lesser charge on the attempted murder one and the conspiracy charges. Her evidence showed how Elena was behind everything, not that we didn't know that. She even told us where Elena kept all the videos of all her boys and the ones she had on us. I'm told that the ones she had on Elliot were some crazy mind control shit. She groomed him well, to the point of selling so-called "training videos" for sex-trade ringer's, 'how to manipulate your prisoner.

"They waited till we came back from Canada, knowing it would be easy for them to break into Escala from the roof. With no alarms on our balcony, and they jimmied the locks. They knew about my doctor's appointment that day and figured it was the perfect time for you to meet. Separate us. They knew you wouldn't be able to say no because of the pictures, but I also know now that the FBI figured it would be safer not for me to know, just in case someone on our team was working with them."

"I'm sorry. I fought so hard with myself on what to do."

She brushes her hand down my cheek, "I'm sorry too. I should've known something was up. I just couldn't see straight. Months of pictures, and the fact she was touching you, adding to the fact I just found out I was pregnant. Rational Ana left the building. I wanted answers, I wanted to kill Elena with my bare hands, and I wanted to slug you in the face. Our whole team knew and I didn't. It hurt. The FBI team gave Reynolds the go-ahead to let me in. They had enough to go on, but they were hoping to lure Elliot out."

"So they put you in danger?" I hiss, despite my sore throat.

Fuck, I knew they were waiting around for something, but I never expected them to use Ana as a prop. They should've stopped her and told her before she got to the room.

"There wasn't much choice. They knew I was coming to you. If one of them stopped me- we don't know what they would have done. I mean they had guns. You weren't protected either. What if they shot you, you weren't armed,"

She grabs my face gently and rubs her nose with mine before laying a kiss on my lips. She does the action again and again. "I've missed you…It's over and you're here." She gives me another kiss. My heavy arms try to move to grab her, but they flop down back to my side. I'm exhausted and I haven't done anything.

Ana grabs the water and puts it's to my lips again. I take a few small sips before she sits it back down.

"Now no more of this for now. That's pretty much everything. I'm going to go get your parents I know they're chomping at the bit to see you." She kisses my cheek. "I love you, Christian Grey, forever and ever."

I smile at her and mouth the words back to her.

 **A/N: Let me know what you think...**

 **This was my idea all along, but I was not got to torture you, I wanted the dramatic, then well let everything end up being okay, him waking up from his coma flashback if you remember is how these two first met!**

 **If you stuck with me to this thank you...**

 **Next chapter Ana has another surprise for Christian...and he will finally get to see his baby...where they find out the sex**

 **Remember when I said short story...lol -**


	17. not a chapter

**if you remember chapter 17 was just chapter 16 because FF sucked for dayyyssss with the links with everyone... but it seems to be working- update coming soon**


	18. surprises

**THANK YOU TO STARGAZER93 FOR HER HELP WITH THIS CHAPTER…. GO CHECK OUT ALL HER STORIES ESPECIALLY THE LINES THAT CROSS! IT's one of my FAVES.**

* * *

I wake up the following morning with my girl curled into me. I put my nose to her hair and inhale her sweet scent. She might have been living in a hospital for four months, but she still smells of my Ana. Apples and Honeysuckles. She stirs slightly but doesn't wake.

I think back to yesterday when my family came in to visit. We talked for hours at first about what happened, all of us still trying to come to terms with it. But soon found ourselves moving that conversation aside for _normal_ stuff, to help lighten the mood. My family is now in therapy dealing with the aftermath of Elliot and my parents feel most of the burden of not being able to see the monster Elena was. I could see it eats away my mother the most. She's much thinner, and paler now. She's half the woman I used to know and I only hope in time she heals along with the rest of us.

Ana mentioned a vacation for them and for us once I woke up and was doing better, knowing no would leave to go anywhere till I was at least walking again.

My family stayed through my first Physical Therapy appointment. It was rough as hell and burned out really quickly. But the therapist said I did quite well for day one, that he thinks it will take a couple weeks to finally hold myself up. Though I think I'm just going to convince the doctor that I can do this all at home. Everything else looks good, except I do have to do breathing treatments for a couple days to make sure my lungs are working properly.

Taylor stopped by to see me after my family left. .I swear the man teared up when he saw me but tried to remain as stoic as ever. Ana told me about all the great security upgrades that have been made at home and GEH. That Taylor has been working his ass off to make sure nothing like what happened with Elena and Elliot happens again. There's even security all around the hospital and always someone standing at my door. Each person is checked and cleared before they can enter.

" _It's good to see you awake, sir."_

" _Cut the sir crap, Taylor." I wave him off. "How's everything been? I bet a lot easier not having to deal with my ass for four months." I joke, wanting to lighten the mood._

 _He chuckles, then frowns. "Very different. But you have been missed. I just wanted you to know I reformulated our whole security team. With help from the FBI, we have put in better tracers and alarms...everything. But I'll let Ana show you what's been done. You should be proud of her."_

" _I am." I knew leaving her in charge of everything and everyone was a good idea. She's shown how to power through it, to rise above a challenge and to accept responsibility when its thrust upon her. She's always been like that, one of the reasons I always so, of course, I'm damn fucking proud._

" _She did mention you tried to quit. I hope you're not.."_

" _No. I just hate that it came down to what it did. That I let you down. My job is to protect you and you got to a point you didn't trust me. And yes I found out about the people that followed us and the background check us. The missus told me after she gave me a very very long talking to." He laughs, "she's been filling your shoes quite well. "_

" _Should I worry I'm not needed?"_

" _Nah, we still need the hothead asshole around."_

" _I'm glad you have jokes, Taylor." I shake my head. "Sawyer… has he…"_

" _Everything was taken care of, sir. All medical and downtime and compensation was taken care for. He was eager to work again. As I'm sure you know."_

I'm exhausted, yet my mind is everywhere. I'm still trying to process everything I learned yesterday. Elena dead, my brother, my fucking brother, that I once looked up to when I was little, tried to kill my girlfriend, almost killed me. That his mind was so fucked with under Elena's deep control, and we all missed it. Now he's in a fucking nut house. That crazy bitch Haley got ten years knocked off her sentence for her information, so instead of thirty-five, she got twenty. I can only wonder if I never let these people back into my life, would this have happened? Hell, if I never let them have that power back in college?

The thing is I will never know and I have to finally put the what if's away and put everything to rest. Those people are gone and I have to start thinking about this future I have with Ana and our baby.

The first step is getting home. It's only been one night since been awake and I've already had enough of this hospital.

Ana moans and curls more into me again. I kiss her forehead and her head pops up to look at me. "Good morning…"

"Morning…"

My hand runs down her face, down her breast, to her stomach, where our baby is growing. "We're having a baby…" I say softly. I'm still in a state of shock and amazement. This beautiful girl is swollen with my child and I've never felt such fulfillment, that she's mine and that we made this everlasting commitment to each other.

Ana frowns and wraps herself around me tighter. "What's wrong?"

"It's all my fault. That you're here…" she cries softly into my chest.

Where the hell did this come from? I thought we buried these thoughts, yesterday?

Her head lays gently on my chest, minding the few wires I still have connected to me. Her tears soak through my gown the guilt still tearing her up inside. It doesn't matter how many time I've told her she had every right to act the way she did. She was placed in an impossible situation, no one could fault her for what happened. If the roles were reversed, if I'd found her that day, after getting pictures of Owen all over her, alone at a hotel, and she didn't try to tell me… lord knows what could have happened. I almost did months ago, but this was Elena, the person that's always been out to ruin us. No, I don't blame her one bit.

"Baby, stop. It's not your fault."

She shakes her head in my chest, lightly gripping me around my stomach. "I've missed you…" she says muffled into me.

"Ana…."

She looks up at me, chewing on her lip, and I can see the uncertainty in her eyes. "If… if I didn't run away...gave you a second to…. to talk. You're here because of me. I put you here and it eats me away every day and I can't forgive myself for it." Her voice shakes through her tears and I give her a moment to calm her thoughts and herself. "I hated that you last possible thought was you thinking I hated you." She cries even harder now and pushes her face back into my chest.

"Don't cry...Baby, it's not your fault. You know that. You told me they would have tried to get to you another way…they would have gone after you."

"I love you. I've never stopped loving you...I just got so mad and needed to think… to calm down."

"I know baby…It's over now."

She nods her head, "I know," she places a kiss on my chest. "But Christian…you saved me and our baby, and in doing that, it almost cost us you. That's the hardest part of all. I could have lost you and it would've been my fault. Our baby might have never known you and how great you are."

"And you think I could live with myself if I lost you? Baby, you're stronger than I ever gave you credit for. You held your shit together against all odds, kept everyone in line and pulled people's heads out of their asses... if this was you in this bed... I'd want to be in a coma right next to you."

She snorts a laugh as I pad her tears away with my thumb.

"Anastasia Steele, I love you. I promise you, I won't ever hold this against you. You're here, I'm here, our little one is here." I place my hand on her belly. "This is our forever and everything is in the past."

Her hand touches my face and she pulls herself up to kiss my lips. She's gentle, barely grazing my lips. But I need more. With all the strength I can muster up, I pull her head closer to mine.

"More."Her eyes bore into mine and her mouth parts to kiss me harder and allow my tongue in. A moan leaves our lips, the intimacy we've been craving since I woke, explodes, from the intensity, of this one kiss. Something we've both have been needing. This is home. This is what I needed to help heal me.

Her body molds with mine, my missing puzzle piece. Her nipples pebble beneath her nightshirt, the heady scent of arousal filling the room.

We break apart, reluctantly on my part, resting her forehead on mine. Her deep blue eyes search my own and I feel like I'm falling for her all over again. "I'm glad to see you have your strength for that, but we should probably take it easy. We can't have you to passing out now, can we?."

"Just one thing before I agree with your ridiculous suggestion, Miss Steele…"

She raises a brow at me, her eyes dancing with mirth as I lean forward, our noses almost touching."And just what would that be, Mr. Grey?"

"How wet are you right now?" I ask in all seriousness.

In the next moment, she breaks out into little giggles, a sound I've missed so much. This is how I always want her, smiling and laughing. I would do anything to keep her this way and away from the guilt, she feels.

Her laughter subsides and she focuses back on me. Her cheeks flush a delicate shade of pink and she brushes her lips to mine. "Very," she purrs and moves away.

"I don't see why we can't have sex? I mean you would have to do most of the work…"

She laughs, "You don't play fair. Not only have you been here for months, but these pregnancy hormones don't help any with how bad I want you. And while sex is the next thing on my list when it comes to you, Mr. Grey, we can't. Not until you're stronger. You can barely hold a cup, let alone my body or yours... you know how we can get."

I shrug, "It was worth a shot." Although, I know right now I don't think I would be able to get into it without passing out after a minute or two.

She shakes her head at me then her mouth makes a perfect little 'o' in surprise. Is she changing her mind? Because I'm down for that.

My hand suddenly finds itself on her belly, "what are you doing?" I chuckle.

"Just wait…" she whispers.

I look at her confused and that's when I feel it. Movement. I barely notice at first, but then it happens again, right under my palm.

"Is that?"

"Yeah,that's our baby. I think he just woke up too. He was quiet yesterday, but it was busy too…." My hand gets another kick.

"Ana…? When did you first feel this?"

"About two weeks ago." She smiles and looks down at my hand. "I remember it because it happened with you. I was reading to you, and I had felt little butterflies before, but the first real kick was that night. I had lifted your hand to my belly, hoping and praying that you would subconsciously feel it."

I hate that I've already missed out on these first with her. For two weeks she's been alone with our baby kicking her, telling her to keep going.

When she looks back at me she has fresh tears in the corner of her eyes. "It seems silly, but that night, _and in that moment… you started showing signs of life again._ Your hand flexed and I got a moan _out of you_. I thought I was crazy, but every day there was something more. A twitch, a spasm, or a muttered word. I think you finally knew what you needed to be here for."

"He's a little soccer star, isn't he?" In the time she's been talking, my child has been non-stop, as though he was kicking goals against my hand.

Ana glances at her watch and smiles, my hand still on her belly. "I have a surprise for you, well two, but the first one should be here soon."

"Surprise?"

X-xx-x-x-

Twenty minutes later, a female doctor walks into my room, wheeling in what looks like an ultrasound machine.

"What's that for? I thought I had all my tests?" I question to no one in particular. "This is your surprise?"

Ana smiles warmly at the woman and the machine.I look at her like she's lost her mind. These tests are not something I would consider a surprise.

Ana's stomach moves again, my hand still placed on her stomach from earlier, trying to absorb all the times I missed.

Then it clicks.

The baby. It's for the baby.

Ana chuckles, "I see you figured it out now. This is Dr. Greene. She's been my OB since day one, and when I called her to let her know you were awake, I asked if she could do my appointment here. She was more than willing to do so. Since I'm twenty weeks now, we can find out if we're having a boy or girl and you'll get to see our baby. I've been waiting for you to hopefully wake up so you could share this big moment with me." She grabs my hand.

"What if I didn't wake up?"

"Doesn't matter now , but I would've waited till he or she was born."

To think I might have had a heart attack if I woke up and had a child.

Dr. Greene introduces herself and fills me in on everything that's been going on with the pregnancy. Everything has been going smoothly and no complications. I'm relieved to hear that.

Ana lays on the bed next to mine and she lifts up her shirt. Dr. Greene gives me a perfect view of the screen from where I'm sitting and I take Ana's hand a squeeze it.

Squirting the gel on Ana's stomach, the good doctor places the probe down and the screen comes to life.

There's a lot of gray, black and pixels, but then something white appears. But I can make out the head, two arms, two legs…

Our baby.

"Wow," I whisper. Dr. Green points out the body parts and I swear he just waved.

"Want to know my favorite part for first-time dad's?"

She presses a button and the room is suddenly alive with _woosh, woosh, woosh._

"What's that?" I ask, my eyes still locked on the screen.

"That, Mr. Grey, is your child's heartbeat."

My heart and voice catch in my throat. Tears well in my eyes and goddammit if I cry right now. This is a moment I'll cherish forever.

"It's good and strong like always. You ready to find out what you're having?"

"Yes…" Ana and I answer together.

"I'm going to change to the 4D so we can get a better look at the baby and hope that he or she behaves. Right now they got their legs closed and butt to us."

Dr. Green messes around the probe before placing it back on Ana's stomach.

The screen changes, what used to be a grainy grey is now a sepia tone, and our baby looks so much more like a baby than they did five seconds ago. I can make out their little features, all ten fingers, and all ten toes.

Dr. Greene quickly changes to the 4D probe, and now we can make out his or her facial features. She wiggles Ana's stomach to get the baby to move to _display_ for us.

"Baby is being stubborn like his father I see." Ana teases.

"Come on, baby Grey, mommy and daddy want to know." Dr. Greene tries wiggling Ana's stomach again to get him or her to move.

"Ah, there we go." Dr. Greene freezes the image and points to the screen. "You're having a boy."

I'm having a son. I look over at Ana and her eyes are glowing. Me and her, our son, the beginning of our next chapter.

"A boy!" Ana cheers. "Little Christian.." she giggles and looks to me.

I shake my head saying no to the name Christian Junior. "We'll think of something. We have time." I tell her and she rolls her eyes.

"I'm going to print some images for the two of you, but Ana, I won't need to see you till your twenty-four weeks scan. Everything's measuring perfectly, and baby Grey is well on his way."

She hits a button on her machine and it whirs to life. Ana begins cleaning up the mess on her stomach and I just sit there in complete awe of her.

"Congratulations Mom and Dad," Dr. Greene says and hands the images to me, a couple of black and white and one of my son's face in sepia. He already looks like the perfect mix of both of us. Hands push through my hair and a kiss to my temple pull me away from the images. I look to Ana and grin, "Pretty cool, we created him.."

"It is pretty cool. And I have one more thing for you...But first, answer me honestly, how are you feeling?"

"Honestly, I've never been happier."

"We need to do your exercises."

"But mooomm." I mockingly whine.

She leans down and kisses me, "behave."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

A better part of my afternoon is spent in "therapy". Trying to get my legs to behave is proving harder than it was to get my lungs to behave.

I've made a promise to myself that, come hell or high water, I'll be walking out of this fucking hospital.

The therapy quickly wipes me out and I found myself napping again. I never took naps before, I thought it was for babies, but will say after thirty minutes of slumber I feel rejuvenated again and ready to go. Hell, when I go back to GEH I might invest in a Murphy bed for the office.

 _Though I doubt naps would be what I would end up using it for._

When I finally did wake up from my therapy induced slumber, I found Ana typing away on her laptop.

"Well, if it isn't my CEO hard at work." she looks over me with a playful glare.

"Always." She grins, "It never stops. I actually can't wait till you take back over and I'm back to second banana."

"Meh, maybe I'll retire."

She closes the laptop and moves over to me. She sits on the edge of my bed and draws her hand up my chest. "You wouldn't last a second in retirement. Plus, you wouldn't really be _retired,_ you'd just become a stay at home daddy. Doing the cooking, cleaning," Her hand continues down its path, coming dangerously close to my crotch. My dick stirs, instantly reacting to her touch, wanting and needing more of it.

"... servicing his wife." Ana continues, and I'm fairly sure I've missed part of this conversation.

"I think I can at least manage the kids and the last one, most definitely." I wiggle my eyebrows. "I'd be very happy to keep my _wife_ happy. For the rest of my days."

All I have to do is get walking again and I'll be getting on one knee. I already have the ring from college and when I sprung the idea up in New York, I sent it out to add a few things to it, to make it _special_ and different, and possibly bigger. I wasn't making the cash in college like I am now. I want her to have the best.

Her hand moves away from the dangerous territory and back to my chest. I picture what her finger would look like with my ring on it.

 _Mine._

"Why did you leave me everything, before we even got back together?" She asks suddenly, all playfulness gone from her voice.

I had a feeling this was coming but didn't expect it quite this soon

"You know why, Ana."

" I know what your parents told me, yes, but there's another reason. Christian what if you got re-married or met someone before you got to change it? I mean I know you could've changed things if you got married, but still. Even so, you had a family, I don't know other people that could have taken care of it for you."

"I didn't feel that way. Ana, I never planned on getting married and as you know I didn't want a relationship if it wasn't you-"

"You might have changed your mind over the years…"

"I didn't see it coming to that. If anything, it was for the time being. I would have left you something no matter what. My life was and will always be at risk; being who I am and people wanting money or revenge. I wanted you taken care of, I wanted you to know that even if we never got back together or talked again, you were in my heart. I promised you the world, Ana and at the time it was the only way I saw it happening."

Her hand moves up to my cheek and I lean into it, "you're crazy, you know that." She lays a kiss on my nose.

"So, I've been told. Just know I'm not changing it now, I will be proposing to you soon, and you will be my wife." I stay firmly. Letting her know I'm serious even if it might be time before I can. I want her to have only the best.

"I can't wait-" she grins, "because I'll be saying yes." She kisses my cheek.

"And I think you should get a will made up as well…" My lips fall to a straight line. Why did I say that now? The girl just told me she was going to say yes to my proposal.

"It's already been taken care of Mr. Grey. But nothing is ever going to happen to us till we're old, wrinkly, about one-hundred, and living with our kids." She clears her throat, "speaking of kids, your next surprise."

"Finally." I roll my eyes and she narrows hers at me.

"Did you just your eyes at _me_?"

"What are you going to do about it? Because I'm about to figure out how to get you over my knee if you don't hurry up…"

"You're a pain in the ass." She crosses her arms, but can't keep the smile from her lips.

"Soon, I promise I will be…Now chop chop."

She blows out a breath, making her bangs fly, and lays her hand back on my lap. "Remember that house we both said we liked along the Sound?"

"Yeah…"

I remember the conversation well, it was while Ana and I were camped out in the hotel in Canada, we talked about getting a home together. A place to call our own that was tinted with the past. The moment we came across this stunning home, we knew it had to be ours. It didn't matter how much work needed to be done, it was going to be our home for the rest of our days. I wanted to tear the whole thing down and start from scratch, but Ana vetoed that _hard._

We planned to go look at the house the following weekend when we came back from Canada, but shit the fan, and well, I ended up in a coma.

"What about it?"

"I bought it." She says simply, "well, we bought it. Since you know…"

"You did?" I ask surprised, when did she get as spontaneous as I am?

"Yeah, I wanted us to start our family in a family home. I knew you liked it, even if you wanted to change things, and it was still for sale, so I took it as a sign that it should be ours. I hired the designer that did your house in Aspen. Despite needing to um- _dress_ more modestly, she was very nice and had some great ideas. It was actually finished a couple of weeks ago. Just waiting for us to put the final touches on it."

"You bought us a house?" I grin and manage to pull her down flush against my body.

"I did. You okay with that?"

I slam my lips onto hers and kiss her much like I did earlier, trying to consume her. Now I'm glad I had that nap for the spiked energy level.

"Of course I am. How could I not be? I trust you with everything Ana."

"I can't wait to show you. I think you'll like what I did to the master bedroom." She licks her lips.

"What did you do?"

"You'll see… nothing big. But let's say I know your tastes…."

I squint at her, not really picking up what she's talking about, "Okay."

"Don't worry about it, you'll see soon." She moves to lay down next to me and wraps herself around me.

"Why didn't you stay there?"

"There was no way I could live there without you. The only way that would've happened is if I had the baby before you woke. But I knew you were going to wake and I wasn't ready to leave your side. My home is with you, hotshot. It has always been with you, I won't forget that again."

"I won't forget either… never again."

We kiss, turning into a heavy make out, petting session before Dr. Harold comes in catching us. I know what my first question is going to be to the good old doctor...

x-x-x-x-x

A week to the day since I woke up, they're finally setting me loose. Well, with some heavy persuasion Ana and I. Ana's been hard at work all week, making sure all the proper equipment is ready, installed and available for me to use as soon as I need them.

Our brand new home looks more like an elderly couple live there, then a couple in their twenties. Hopefully, it won't be for long.

I'm improving every day. I use a walker to get around most places. It was something I had to be able to do before they let me go home, well I was determined more than anything to get home.

The exercises are overwhelming and the exhaustion I feel afterward is bringing me down emotionally. I know a change of scenery is what I need to help kick me out of the funk I find myself in, and it's not anyone's fault. I'm just so frustrated at myself for not being able to do something I used to be a pro at.

Ana keeps reminding me that I'll get back to the man I was, but I needed to give myself time to let that happen.

But damn I need so muscle back, I haven't been this skinny since I was fourteen. I look like Chris Evans in Captain America _before_ he became Captain America.

My family has been another constant in my life, always around, always fluffing pillows or bringing me food.

I love them, but they're beginning to drive me crazy.

Ana curls into my side, the bowl of popcorn sits uneaten between us, as the reality of today finally hits us.

I'm home.

Now that we're completely alone in our own world, I realize that this is what we have truly been needing.

That and a good quality mattress to sleep on. Those hospital ones are garbage.

"I like what you did with this room….and the special extra feature…" I nuzzle her neck and she giggles.

"I thought you would. I liked what we tried at the hotel that time and I got some extra stuff as you saw that I thought we might like together."

Ana had a special hidden dresser made in our closet. You push a button and it opens up to several drawers and shelves, filled with toys, handcuffs, a riding crop, and a spreader bar.

I know there's no way we will ever have anything close to a Dom and Sub relationship. It's not us, but the elements of play can still be used I in a normal relationship to add some extra excitement in the bedroom.

Which only got me thinking about something else, that I haven't asked when she told me about the house. I play with the button on the top of her blouse and undo it. I don't know why she's still dressed for the day, as we lay around in bed for the evening. But then again, this is the first time she's stopped moving since we got home. As soon as I collapsed into bed, she joined and we haven't moved since.

"Do we still have the penthouse?"

"Yeah. I'm not going to get rid of _your_ penthouse…."

"It's as much yours as it is mine, Anastasia."

She rolls her eyes, "I get that, but no. I figured it would be something for us to discuss later. I have no problem keeping it. Use it for clients, or us, for when we're in the city. Whatever you want to do…" she rattles off.

Though some of the memories of the penthouse still taunt me. I think about her place and the last time we saw it after Elliott destroyed everything.

'That sounds good to me. What about your place?"

"Oh yeah, that's gone…as you know, nothing in that place was worth saving and even after it was cleaned up, I just never wanted to go back." She frowns.

"I'm sorry." I brush her hair back.

"It's okay. The only thing I miss is our old couch and my dragon…" Her frown deepens and her eyes glisten holding back her tears. I know that dragon meant something to her, maybe more than I'll ever know. When she first found out, she tried to shake it off, pretending she was alright, but now I can see it deeply affects her.

"I'll have to win you a new one or buy you one.." I lament even though I know it's not what she wants. Though, it gives me the perfect idea.

She puts her head on my shoulder. "It's not the same...that one was special." She sniffs and her cheeks begin to wet.

"Ace…" I wrap her in my arms and kiss away the few fallen tears.

She wipes her face with the back of her hand, "it just meant so much to me. Our start together…I kept it with me always, and looked at it almost every day, wanting to always remember that moment. When I found out I was pregnant, my first thought - well maybe like 5th - was that I wouldn't be able to give it to our child." She cries harder and buries herself in my neck. She sniffs loudly and looks back at me "I'm sorry. These hormones don't help. I cry a lot about silly stuff now. One day because my doughnut didn't have enough pink icing and sprinkles." She laughs and shakes her head. "But nonetheless, I miss that stuffed dragon. But I have you…that's more important."

I brush her hair back and I'm trying not to laugh. I get her being heartbroken about the stuffed animal, but a donut?

"Were you like this for the last four months?"

"On and off, yes…"

"Maybe it is a good thing I missed it.." I wink and she nudges me hard in the shoulder.

"Just you wait, buddy. It's only going to get more crazy."

I laugh, "actually I can't wait. I'll invest in tissues for you."

"Jerk," she goes to nudge me again and I grab her arm, pulling her so she straddles my lap.

"Do you know how beautiful you look right now?" I brush the buttons of her blouse and she shakes her head.

"I'm a mess…"

"Beautiful, but you know what would make you even more irresistible?"

"What's that?" She raises an eyebrow at me.

"You naked. It's been a long time since I've seen you, _all_ of you. And I'm not talking about your little tease flashes, but all of you." I undo another button on her blouse.

"Okay hotshot, slow your roll...me being naked isn't going to help either one of us."

I shrug and undo another button. She sure isn't fighting me, so I do another.

"Come on.. take it off…or I'll just keep doing it for you."

"Shouldn't you be saving your energy?" She teases and judging by the heat between her legs, she's turned on and I'm glad to know I haven't lost the touch, even with my twig like body.

"Hey I was told to keep pushing myself as much as I could, Dr. Harold and the PT said I was doing amazing if I remember correctly. What did she say, I was an eager beaver?" I chuckle and Ana laughs. The in-home physical therapist we hired is in her sixties, from the south, feisty, and in amazing shape, _so much so_ that I thought she was much younger.

I unhook another button the blouse now hanging open with her white lace bra exposed.

"Come on Miss Steele, just a peek."

"You're right. If you want it you work for it."

"I don't have a problem with that. You do know every day it gets easier... " My arms work a lot better than my legs.

She shakes her head, "it's nice to know you're horny side hasn't taken much of a back seat since you woke up." Her hand reaches down to my erect dick and rubs her palm over it.

"Oh no, he's never far away...especially around you."

I unhook the rest of her buttons on her blouse and push it off her shoulders. I pull the cups of her bra down and push the straps off her shoulders, pushing the bra around her stomach, and letting her breast free.

Fuck, the hook in the back right now.

Hell, her tits are bigger than I remember. I haven't seen them this up close since before I woke. But I have a photographic memory of her breasts and these puppies are definitely bigger.

I've been begging her to see her naked. Playing up to her that it would help with my rehabilitation, but she refused and well there was always someone coming into the room.

I reach out and caress each breast and her nipples harden under my touch.

My mouth latches to them and she moans and grabs my shoulder

"You're really not playing fair. I thought you just wanted to see me naked…" She pants and wiggles herself on my lap

I don't answer and keep sucking.

Once I finish I back away to admire her. She's flushed and very excited. I know I'm being mean to her. I can tell she's been hornier than normal, because of the pregnancy, but I can't help it. It's who I am.

 _Plus, sex heals all._

And I might not be fully ready for intercourse, there are other ways around fulfilling needs, especially the vixen on my lap.

"When was the last time you came?"

She bites her lip, "The last time we had sex."

"Are you needy, Ace? Does my girl need me to help her take off some of the edge?"

She shrugs, "I can wait till we can have sex again Christian. I don't think it'll be much longer."

"But you have needs. I have needs and the doctor didn't say anything against jerking off."

"Oh god, please tell me you didn't ask."

I laugh and don't answer her, but I asked. "Take the rest of these clothes off and help me remove my pants, I think we could mess around a bit."

"Christian…"

I pout, full lip out pouting, and whimpering like a lost puppy.

"You're pathetic, you know that?" She shakes her head at me, but I'm grateful when she unhooks her bra from around her stomach.

"But you love me."

"I do." She moves off the bed and unbuttons her jeans, pushing them down her long legs. I swear I might be drooling. She's wearing a pair of blue lace underwear.

She stands before me her brown locks around her shoulders and it lays over nipples. She's still as skinny as she was before, besides the cute baby bump that she now sports, she's all baby. I smile when I see her stomach make a little wave.

"You're alluring, Ace. I don't think you've ever looked so sexy as you do right now carrying my child. But I think you'll look better if you lose the underwear."

She ever so slowly pulls down her underwear and steps out of them, throwing the garment at my head.

I take them and put them to my nose, the smell only serves to make my dick harder. I wonder if I have it in me just to spend my time eating and devouring her pussy.

She crawls onto the bed and hovers over me grabbing the hem of my pants and boxers. I lift my hips enough to help her yank them down. She gets them off easily enough and grabs my dick with her hand. I hiss at how good it feels to have her hand touching me there again.

She looks at me with a twinkle of mischief in her eyes and licks her lips. Her hand pumping my dick and she licks her lips before she lowers herself, to wrap her mouth around my cock.

"Fuck-" I grip the sheets. I might not remember not having her for four months but my dick does.

"Baby, slow down…" Her eyes meet mine and I see her smirk even with her mouth full of me. She shakes her head and goes back to her task. This isn't what I wanted. I wanted us touching and playing at the same time, but I'm unable to stop her. It feels too fucking good. She gives the best fucking head. I reach out and tangle my hand in her hair, guiding her movements.

When she takes me all the way down and I hit the back of her throat I know there's no way in hell I'm going to last long. I close my eyes and absorb the sounds she's making as she inhales my dick. Music to my fucking ears.

Taking my balls in her hands she massages them and my body jerks at the sensation. I'm trying to hold off, be a greedy fuck, but I can't, as soon as her teeth gently run along my shaft I'm a goner.

"Ana!" I call out and pump my hot seed down her throat. She takes my dick out of her mouth with a pop and licks her lips satisfied.

"Come here." My voice hoarse. Fuck it, I'm diving in between her legs. So what if I pass out afterward? She'll understand, but she'll go to bed herself feeling good. "I want your pussy in my face."

She looks about to start to say something but then she stops and crawls up to me. I grab her ass and pull her to me and my tongue quickly diving in between her legs. He belly makes it a little bit harder and I find myself scooting down to get a better angle, thankfully it seems our son is asleep and not kicking me in the head.

I kneed her ass and lick and suck her soaking folds. She tastes different then I remember and I wonder if that has anything to do with her being pregnant. Her hips thrust into my face and her hands pull at my hair, pulling me in closer.

Letting one hand off her glorious ass, I rub them along her slit before inserting them into her and start working her over.

"Chris- Chris-tain…" Her grip on my hair becomes hard, and much like me, she isn't going to last long.

My mouth finds her swollen nub and I suck on it, hard, my fingers moving faster in and out of her. My arm is already like spaghetti, but I don't stop. What better way than to get muscle back.

She clenches around my fingers, her fingers scrap my scalp, and she denotes around me.

I slurp up every last drop of her orgasm, and she falls down next to me on the bed.

I put my fingers in my mouth to make sure I taste every last bit of her. When she finishes coming down from her high, she curls into me, sinking tirelessly into the mattress. Her hand rubs my chest and I take comfort that she is still the only one that can relax me by doing this gesture.

"Feel better?" I mumble. My voice heavy with sleep. I feel satisfied and connected once again with my girl. My Ace. My Ana.

"Mmmm. Very much so. You?"

"Yes…" Her leg hitches over my body and we fall into complete silence, the only sound is our heavy breathing. "I love you, baby," I whisper as sleep starts to take me over.

"I love you too, hotshot, forever and ever."

* * *

 **I don't know when I'm going to have time to write the next chapter…(which will more than likely be the last) You know there's this movie coming out this week, maybe you heard about it? And I also have two other writing projects to work on for publishing. But knowing me it won't be too long.. This story wasn't ever supposed to get to 100k… I even asked who am I because it's so unlike me..lol**

4 DAYS! ENJOY FIFTY! And I'm glad I was able to meet such great people through this fandom and read/write so many great stories.


	19. new chapter of our lives

**I hope everyone enjoyed the movie even if it was really rushed. I hope the DVD is filled with a bunch of extras from all three movies or I'm going to stage a revolution. ;p Here's the next chapter… all mistakes are mine…**

 **ANA:**

It's been a month since Christian has been home. My stubborn man has been putting all his energy into trying to walk again. He has bad days, where the energy is drained out of him, or gets light-headed, or in intense pain, but he keeps going. It wasn't always like that though, the first week home I caught him one evening cussing and yelling at himself for being pathetic and weak.

I confronted him and he tried to play it off, but soon one of the strongest people I know was crying in my arms. He was worried about never being the same man again for me. It broke my heart and I did everything in my power to try and convince him that none of it matters and I just wanted him. The next day I found someone for him to talk to. To talk to us. To help us to the final steps of being normal again.

Dr. Lovett's has been a godsend.

The both of us knew what happened with Elena and Elliot wouldn't really just be buried no matter how hard we tried and wanted it to be. We spent hours talking it all out, the feelings, the triggers, the memories. What happened maybe will never fully disappear, but I don't think it's going to ever stop us again.

I love Christian Grey more than anything and I can't visualize a world where we are apart again. What we have now really is forever because our bond is unbreakable. That's what we proved through all the mess.

Christian and I will be stronger and better than ever from this point forward.

Christian has started to work from home, wanting to get his mind back in the game before he fully returns to Grey House and back to being CEO. Ros is still with us for another couple of months to help out, she too has been a godsend. Today I'm working in our home office. I was kicked out once again from Christian's therapy and figure I would get some work done. Not like I have anything better to do. The plus is though, I actually love this room. When I had the office designed, I wanted it for Christian and me to share. There's a large retractable wall that separates both our oak desks so we can have some privacy if we're on calls or having meetings. That way one can't distract the other, but I have a feeling it will stay open most of the time.

When have we ever been able to be separated for long since we been back together?

For the last hour, I've been going over spreadsheets and employee recs of a company were about to take over. I have a headache and honestly I'm burnt out. I much rather be snuggled on the couch with Christian right now eating ice cream or making out.

I can't wait for Christian to take back over. This is his seat, not mine.

I'm trying to plan a vacation for Christian and me, a babymoon of sorts, but I want to wait till he's walking again. I want him to be able to enjoy whatever it is we would do and destress before we go back to our busy lives.

A couple of days ago, Christian and I sent Grace, Carrick, Mia and her latest beau to Hawaii. They all needed a break, especially Grace. She's still holding in so much guilt with Elliot, I only wish I can do more to help her. She's talking to someone, but I no matter what she lost her son. He might have been psycho, but it was still her baby, her child, a mother's love I don't think ever just stops.

There's a rap on my office door and I tell the person on the other side to come in. Wanda, Christian's PT pops her head in before walking into the room.

"Miss Steele, Mr. Grey has requested you." She says with a beaming smile of her face.

I stand up from the desk and walk to her. Her smile is infectious, that I find myself grinning as well. "Is everything okay?" I ask, even though she seems excited.

"Oh, yes Ana. Come." I follow Wanda down to the gym. I have a good feeling with what I'm about to see. My son kicks me, letting me know he's excited as well. I'm now twenty-five weeks and I can't wait to meet this little guy. Now if only we could decide on a name we would be set.

I walk into the gym and see Christian sitting on the couch. Wanda pats my shoulder and leaves the room.

"You needed to see me?" I start walking towards him and he tells me to stop.

Christian stands from the couch and he's steady on his feet. The smile on my face is now hurting as I watch him walk to me. Watching his body move, not struggling like the other times I watched him walk without support, makes me giddy. Days ago, he wasn't doing more than a few steps, now he's doing it all on his own with no help whatsoever. This is another one of the happiest moments in my life. He finishes walking to me and I gather him in my arms. "You're walking." I cheer and cry at the same time.

"Hey, no crying." He rubs his thumb on my cheek, brushing them away.

"They're happy tears." I sniff, and put my arms around his neck, "I know this didn't happen today. Is this why you didn't want me to watch the last couple of days?"

"I wanted to surprise you. This last week, I've been feeling good, my legs have been behaving, and Wanda was adamant that I was ready. She added more leg strengths exercises and pushed me to keep going, so here I am."

"Here you are." I chuckle and put my fingers through his prickly beard.

He smiles at me before he smashes his lips to mine, pulling my body as close as possible as he can, with my bump in the way. Our teeth clash as we pull on each other's hair, desperate for one another. He's holding his own strength, not an ounce of his body weight rested against me.

The both of us are caught up in this magic of the moment forgetting the world around us, that's until our son gives me a swift kick causing us to pull apart. Christian laughs and puts his hand on my belly.

"I'm sorry buddy, were we squishing you?" He bends down to kiss my belly, and Christian is given another kick.

"Do you need to sit down?" I ask him as he lifts his head back to mine.

"No, I've been doing too much of that for way too long."

"Just don't push yourself too much, but I'm so proud of you. And I don't even know if proud is the right word. Amazed maybe. Blown away. You're walking. I knew you get here, but it still blows me away."

He chuckles, "I know I feel the same way. I think in a couple more weeks I should be golden and I'll just have to start doing more strength training to get that sexy bod back you like so much."

I shake my head and run my hands up his chest and rest on his heart. "I like you just fine Mr. Grey. I love what's in here…" I kiss the spot before I move my hands back down his chest and over his groin, "annnd… What this does. You, my sir are golden just the way you are. If you lose this." I squeeze his dick and I feel him grow in my hand, "then we'll talk…" I wink.

"You know Miss Steele, I've been thinking about fucking you in here. Maybe you bent between the parallel bars…"

I giggle and blush. Yeah, I've been thinking about that too, but Wanda could come back."

"I sent her home for the day and told her to have her husband take her out to dinner and the theater on me."

"That's so sweet…"

"She's been working her butt off and kicking it literally some days to get me here. I'll also give her something extra in her paycheck."

I reach up and kiss him, "should we skype your parents."

"After I fuck you…"

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 **Christian.**

Ana and I leave for Fiji tomorrow afternoon for two weeks. I've been walking on my own for two weeks now and I decided last week it was time to get out of Seattle. Just me and my girl, no worries, the sun, and hopefully spending most of our time naked fucking in the ocean.

I hope that the two of us will have _more_ to celebrate than just me walking again, and my soon return as CEO at GEH.

Ana walks into the living room sporting a pair of jeans and a grey maternity shirt, that shows off her pregnant belly. She's still tiny, well to me, at twenty-seven weeks. I tease and tell her it looks like she swallowed a basketball. Although, I will never tell her, that her ass is more round and full, which I love, but I have feeling her hormones might kill me. My baby is a MILF.

 _My inner God slaps his forehead {sorry I had to} not believing that I used the term MILF._

"Where are we going?" She asks as I take her hand and pull her to me, kissing the inside of her neck.

"You'll see, but I think you'll like it." I pull her to the door. Taylor already waiting outside in the driveway with the car.

"I'm sure I will, but I also like sleep and I know there's no way I'm going to be sleeping on the jet." She smirks at me and I help her into the back of the car. I slip in next to her and wrap my arm around her.

"I promise I'll let you sleep. _Tomorrow_." I tease, whispering in her ear.

Taylor pulls out of the driveway and I scout back to my seat to buckle up.

"Sure you can't give me a hint into where are we going?"

"It would ruin the surprise, but I will tell you this, it's outside and something we haven't done in a long time."

She screws her noise and I can see her trying to figure it out. " _Sex_ outside?"

I laugh, "no. Just be patient. I promise you're going to like it." I take her hand and place it to my lips.

"I'm sure I will."

x-x-x-x-x

Twenty minutes later, Taylor pulls into the fairgrounds. Ana looks out the window and falls into a fit of giggles. "You're taking me to the fair."

"I thought we could recreate our first date." I help her out of the car and we walk towards the gate. This time we don't have to pay to get in or have some mother pissed at us for making out in line. Though…

I grab Ana around the waist and press her body to 's hands are quickly in my hair, pulling and tugging, as our lips melt together. I love the sounds of her soft moans, the way she tastes and feels in against my body. There's never been a doubt that this is the girl I want to spend forever with. I can only hope we're still this frisky in our eighties.

"EWW." Little voices scream causing Ana and me to quickly break apart. Running past us is a couple of little kids running into the fair with their parents on their tails.

"Come…" I take her hand walk us into the grounds.

"I didn't even think there was a fair in town. Isn't it more for summer? "

"Yes, but this one is special. …"

A couple more small children run past us with large stuffed animals in their hands, laughing, on their way to one of the rides.

.

"Special how?"

I shrug trying to be modest.

"Tell me… what did you do?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I know that look on your face. You're up to something." She wags her finger at me, a playful grin on her face.

"I sorta set this thing up for us. I wanted to do something special for you. We had such a good time that first time. It was the...start of us. But I knew it wouldn't be fun without other people around, so I invited the kids from my mother's charity and some kids that were also healthy enough to come out from the hospital. Everything has been paid for… every kid gets a prize. …unlimited rides."

Ana's face lights up in shock and awe, "Christian Grey, you never fail to amaze me." She wraps her arm around my neck and kisses me forcefully before backing away.

"I didn't know it would be possible to love you more, but I think I do."

"It's not a big deal." I wave off.

"it's a very big deal, Christian. All these kids look so happy and their parents too." We take each other's hands and starts walking through the grounds. Taylor, Sawyer and two other guards follow behind us.

Ana starts to laugh when she sees familiar faces running the games. "You have our staff working out here?"

"It was all volunteer, I put out an email asking for some help. I was quite astounded by how many wanted to help, that I didn't even have enough booths. Some are making the food, running other activities like face painting and so on. If they were volunteering their kids were also welcomed to join. The only thing they're not doing is running rides. I figured I would leave that to the professionals. But I had made sure each ride past inspection before I let it be run."

"I just can't believe you did all this and in secret too. All this to redo our first date again?"

"And for the kids," I say modestly.

She smiles as many happy kids laugh and scream around us. "Do you think this is something we could do every year? Maybe expand it?" She suggests.

"I think we could work something out." I wink.

We walk past a line photobooths and I pull her into one and sit her on my lap. "We need to make new memories, right?"

"I see what you're doing." She rests her head on my forehead and looks at me, her eyes slitted, and a goofy smile on her face.

Part of this plan was to replace the things that Elliot destroyed from our first date. Along with the dragon he also ripped up the pictures that it was holding. I have a copy of them, so I don't really need to replace them, but I want to do my best to make everything like our first date.

"Do you? I don't think you know the half of it." I wink at her. I reach over to start the picture reel.

We kiss, making funny faces stick our tongues out, and I nuzzle my face in her breast. We do a couple rounds of photos before we stumble out in a fit of laughter. The pictures print out on the outside and I grab them, putting them in Ana's purse. I wonder what the Nooz would think of these photos if they got their hands on them. Two CEO's acting like a bunch of children and finally relaxed? They would have a field day. The same field day that I'm going to get with Ana when I tell her she's going to own half of GEH and be my co-CEO. I have a feeling those gorgeous hands are going to be wrapped around my neck. Though, I'm sure it'll lessen the blow that she'll remain to have the same job description as the COO. I'm just going to enjoy watching her get feisty with me before I tell her.

"What next?" Ana asks bouncing on her feet.

I place my hand on her belly, "well we can't go on the rides, so how about a game?"

"It's your dollar." She giggles and I remember when she told me that five years ago too.

"Well, thankfully, the games are free this time."

I lead her over to the game that Barney and Andrea are running. It's where you have to throw a ball into the wooden basket. We both greet Barney and Andrea, the both of us trying not to laugh at the propeller beanie Barney is sporting.

"I like your hat, Barney." She fails and breaks out into her giggle-snorts.

"I like your snorts too, Miss Steele." He smirks back at her. Ana covers her mouth and nose with her hands, blushing.

"Shut up. I can't help them." She says with a fake pout. She flicks Barney's little propeller, "but I admit you can pull this off. Right, Andrea?" She goads and that's when I notice Andrea's cheeks now turn bright red.

"He looks cute to me," she says meekly and touches Barney's shoulder.

My jaw drops, "when did this happen?" I wave my finger at the both of them. "I know I was out for awhile, but I would feel like my girlfriend and COO would tell me these developments. My PA and my head of IT are… together.

"Slipped my mind," she laughs, shrugging her shoulders.

"It was a couple months ago, sir. We've been trying to keep it on the down low, but a week ago, Miss Steele caught us, umm.. Kissing in the copy room." She looks at me nervously.

Maybe the me before Ana came back in my life would care about fraternizing in the office, but me with Ana can only say, "well, I guess it's only going to make us even when you catch us in the same copy room, doing the same thing." I say plainly.

Andrea beams at my comment and shakes her head, "Sir, if we're being honest here, I've heard worse coming from your office already."

"Andrea! You have not!" Ana yelps shocked and waves her hand pretending to swat at her.

"Have too. I advise some soundproofing for both of you." She winks.

"When did my PA get so brazen?"

Andrea used to be; ask no questions and do what she was told and now, she's friendly and speaking her thoughts aloud. I know this all has to do with my soon to be wife. She always told me how she hated how everyone feared me when all I was really was a giant puppy dog.

"Oh, that's because she's been mine for far too long… Sorry, I might have broke her, I'll be happy to keep her when things go back to normal." Ana smiles wildly at me.

"Nah, I think I'll keep her. Now, do you want to play?"

"Yea, this game is one of my favorites." She jokes.

Barney sets us up with a couple of balls in a bucket and moves them towards us. I pick up one of them and hand it to Ana. "Want to go first?"

She looks at the ball and then back at me, "why don't you show me how it's done first, hotshot. Win me a prize, that raccoon is cute." She points to a gray and blue stuffed raccoon hanging from the tent.

"I think I can manage that, but are you going to keep your hands to yourself this time?"

She shakes her head and she grabs a handful of my ass. "My hands belong here, thank you." I kiss the top of her head and move to throw the ball towards the basket. I miss the first one and Ana pinches my ass. I throw the second and despite her grip on my ass cheeks, I make it.

"Winner." Barney cheers.

"Darn, I like it when I can distract you." Her hand moves off my ass.

Barney reaches down under the ledge and grabs the prize, handing it to me. It's a pink and purple dragon, very close to the one I won her years ago and was shredded to bits by my asshole brother.

"For you," I hand her the dragon and she takes it, pulling it to her chest.

"Christian," she gasps, "I love it."

"I know it's not the same," I start and she cuts me off by kissing me forcefully.

"I love it all the same." She whispers against my lips. "It means just as much to me. Thank you." She gives me another peck on the lips. I push her blowing hair back and kiss her salty tear away.

 _This is it._

"It's your turn, Ace." I grab the ball and hand it to her.

"I stink at this game…" She whines, but she takes the ball anyways.

She curls the dragon in her left arm and moves to the stand. All three balls miss the basket and she turns around to me and pouts. "I told you I stink…"

"Hey everyone, is a winner today, Miss Steele" Barney tells her and spins the propeller on his head.

"I don't need it… give it to one of the kids…I got mine already." she holds the dragon closer.

"I think you'll like this Ana…" I whisper in her ear.

"What?" She questions me and Andrea hands her a teddy bear holding a black velvet box

She stares at the bear, her eyes widened, her mouth gaping at me. She looks up at me and I can see more tears welling in her eyes.

I take the velvet box from the bear's hands and fall to one knee.

"Anastasia, you are the love of my life…My first memory of you is pouring a bucket of ice water on me. That's when I knew there was something special and unique about you. That I wanted you. You didn't freak out and you gave me a chance. A chance that I desperately needed with you. On our first date to the fair, I was bewitched by you. You saw me like no one else ever had before and showed me what I had been missing out on. I fell in love with you quick and you were always been my better half. You're my Ace, my number one girl, my everything. Even our time apart you were still my person. I couldn't stop loving you and I never wanted to stop. I know what it feels like to miss you and I never want that again. I want forever with you." I place my hand on her belly and give it a kiss, "and our children. So, Ana, will you marry me?"

She nods her head erratically, "yes. Oh my god, yes." she cries the tears now streaming through her face. Somehow the dragon manages to stay under her left shoulder in her excitement. I grab the stuffed toy and place it on the games ledge. Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a group of people standing around us, I'm sure with their phones out videotaping the event.

I take the ring out of the box and slip in on her finger. Standing to my feet I grab her face and kiss her with everything I have. The ones that have gathered around start to cheer.

Once I release her from my hold, she looks at the ring, "this is beautiful." she murmurs.

"I've had this pick out since college," I tell her honestly. But I refuse to tell her when I had planned to tell her I was going to purpose. "I made changes to it though, we've changed so I needed the ring to change. The rose stone is for the month we first met and also helps its part of your name. The emerald is for when we got back together again, the ruby is for when you found out you were pregnant, and the Topaz is for when I woke up and I lives started once again. Though I kept the center diamond the same to remember the old us, the one before we had everything, but each other."

"It's perfect, Christian. I can't even put into words how much I love it."

I grab her hand and pull it up to show the crowd around us. "We're getting married!" I announce and everyone cheers even the kids around us. "Now who wants funnel cake and cotton candy?"

I look over at Ana and she grins, rubbing her belly, "your son does for sure."

"My son? Don't blame that craving on him, that's all you."

She places her arms around my neck and steps on her tippy toes and whispers into my ear, "It is the baby that wants the funnel cake because mommy wants her lips wrapped around your dick"

 **OKAY SO THERE IS ONE MORE CHAPTER COMING…I was going to end it here but I owe lots of fluff for those who thought there was to much angst ;)**


	20. Epilogue

**A/N: Ready for your teeth to hurt? This chapter was hard for me to write… I love weddings but writing them…. Not so much. Heads up now… I do end this story on a flashback. It was going to be a quick flashback, but it took on a life of itself. The story ends fine without it, but I wanted to share it. Enjoy, and thank you all for your support on this story!**

 **Thank you foreverdreamingx for help with this chapter and talking through it with me… (check out her stories, they're brilliant) and also Stargazer93 for her help during this project… check her stories as well.**

* * *

 **Epilogue**

"When do you want to get married?" I ask my fiancée while we lay in bed on our jet heading for Fiji, my hand rubbing over her belly after we just made love.

"I don't know. I would honestly love to marry you before the baby is born, so we all have the same name, but I also don't want to be a pregnant bride." she giggles, "have our kids one day look at our wedding photos and think we had a shotgun wedding because daddy knocked up mommy."

I roll my eyes at her even though I know she's joking.

She swats me in the chest, "Don't roll your eyes at me. Okay, so that's not the reason, but I would just like to look hot on my wedding day, _not_ like I just swallowed a basketball."

"I can understand that." I place little kisses on her face and neck, "but you would look hot no matter what to me. I think your even hotter now carrying my child."

"We could get married, maybe hit up Vegas on the way back…" she suggests with a laugh, "I mean we are sort of going on a honeymoon now, we can do things in reverse. I just know once you get back into the swing of things it'll be a bit harder to take time off especially after the time off for the baby."

"We're the CEO's baby, we can do whatever we want."

"Yeah, yeah. Still not thrilled with this co-CEO title, you know."

"You'll get over it," I say cheekily. "Now about this getting married in Vegas thing. I might have an idea, hoping you would say something like that. Well, it was more hoping you would say you couldn't wait another second to become my Mrs. Grey."

"What do you have up your sleeve mister?"

"You'll see. But it has to do with our layover in England."

* * *

"Was I really not around you that much when you were home? I can't for the life of me figure out how you managed to plan all this stuff behind my back."

We're in Liverpool, England outside the Ness Botanic Gardens. I was able to get it booked for us to get married here once we planned our trip to Fiji behind Ana's back. I knew we would need the layover and I found this place on my hunt for simple wedding venues. Knowing Ana, she wouldn't want something big and crazy, yet still romantic. I pulled a few strings, threw some money around and have the wedding planned for tomorrow. For the first time, I had no doubts that she would say no to marrying right away. We've waited long enough in my book.

Now I just have a few other things worked up my sleeve.

"You worked enough and also having the Grey name with lots of green to spend, helped speed things along. Oh, and very good staff, that keep their mouths closed."

"You're a pain in the ass, but I love it." She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek, "but what if I said I wanted to wait till after the baby was born for sure?"

"You wouldn't have. I know you well enough. After everything we've been through, I don't think us waiting any longer is what we wanted or needed."

"You're right. But I feel bad, that no one will be here with us." She pulls back and raises her eyebrow at me, "you did that too, didn't you?"

I smirk in reply, "of course. My mom and sister should be here shortly to help you find a dress. There's a designer that makes Maternity dresses coming in to help do any changes you might need or help as well."

"If I could jump in your arms right now, I would. This might be better than anything I could've thought of on short notice. Because I totally would've been down with Elvis. Thank you."

She presses her lips to mine lightly, and I move my hand to the back of her head, wanting to deepen it. My tongue flicks with hers, with our son kicking between us, and I get lost in her knowing this is the spot where we will become husband and wife tomorrow.

Behind us, someone clears their throat and we break apart. My parents, Mia, Andrea, and Ros stand behind us smirking.

"You'll be able to do that enough on the honeymoon." Ros jokes, "now we need to steal the future bride to find her dress."

Ana grins, "who else is here?" She looks at me with big shiny eyes.

"Everyone I could manage to get here that we care about. Now go." I kiss her cheek and guide her gently towards the girls.

"One day I want your secrets of how you pull this crap off Grey."

"Never, Miss Steele. I need to keep you on your toes and surprised at every corner."

She shakes her head at me and then something sparks in her eyes and she walks back to me fixing the collar the of my shirt. "You know, it's tradition for a couple to spend the night apart the day before the wedding, so I think tonight I'll bunk with the girls. I guess it would be a bachelorette party of sorts."

"I don't think so…" I mutter and grab her waist.

"I think so, I mean you surprised me so quickly I didn't get that last hurrah. I think you should go out and have some fun with the guys as well."

"I'm not sleeping without you tonight. Fuck tradition." I'm still in a mindset of making up for all those years I lost without her at my side.

"But think about the anticipation when you see me again." She brushes my cheek tenderly,  
"I'll be your wife. I will sleep next to you for the rest of your life."

"Will it make you happy?" I grit my teeth. Though when I take a good look at her, I remember how she hasn't done anything in months on her own. The poke of her swollen belly into my waist reminds me it'll be even longer with a baby coming soon, but I still can't control the somewhat possessive need to always have her with me.

"Very. I also think you'll have some fun too."

"Alright, but call me before you go to sleep."

"Will do."

"No strippers?"

"No strippers, same for you, bub."

"Promise, you're the only one I want to see naked…"

She grabs my cheeks with both her hands, pulling me to her so our noses barely touch. "Back at you. Thank you, hotshot," she whispers before kissing me.

"Anything for you, Ace. Just stay out of trouble. I know how crazy my mom can get." I joke.

She giggles, "I think your mom needs girl time more than I do."

With one final kiss, she walks away with the girls. I watch as she turns out of the gardens and my dad slaps me on the shoulder.

"My son is getting married. It's about time." He chuckles.

"I know I know…." I laugh. "I should've asked her after our second date. I knew even then."

My dad shakes his head, "maybe you should've. Now let's go get some drinks the other men are waiting for us."

* * *

I wake up the following morning with a note taped to my head. I don't even have the strength to pull it off me yet.

My head throbs from last night's activities. I have forgotten how much lower my tolerance is now and kept throwing back drinks like I was still 21. I didn't feel it until the end of the night. I couldn't even tell you how I made it to bed, but I had fun. My dad, Jason, Luke, Barney, Welsh and a few other colleagues rounded out my spur of the moment bachelor party.

I remember vaguely talking to Ana, but I couldn't tell you any of the conversations. I only hope she had as much fun as I did. I only do wish she was with me now.

I finally crack open my eyes and pull the note from my forehead. I laugh at the words, which does nothing for my headache.

 **Hotshot,**

 **What is the first rule of drinking?**

 **Eating!**

 **Those greasy nachos that Jason said you had don't count.**

 **Shame, shame, my sweet future husband. I'll have to figure out a way to punish you since you don't go over my knee to easy anymore.**

 **Though, it's too bad that you weren't more careful because I came to see you in hopes to ride your dick till sunrise and you were passed out… tisk tisk…**

 **And after all that dirty talk, you leave** _ **me**_ **, me, your horny, pregnant future bride hanging?**

 **At least the girls gave me some special toys for my bridal gift and I took care of it myself. ;)**

 **I hope you shake that hangover mister, I don't need you to be stumbling at the altar.**

 **I sent you some of my magic serum that I used to make you in college. I got extra for the others, but none of them were as trashed as you.**

 **I'm glad you had fun. I saw the pictures...and I will be framing a couple.**

 **I love you,**

 **Now shape up and come make me your wife.**

 **Your Ace xxx**

That's my girl, always looking after me. I somehow manage my way out of bed and into the shower, but not before pounding back the green sludge waiting for me on my nightstand. It's nasty as hell, kale, spinach and some other shit she throws in. I always figured it's better that I don't know, though I wonder what she had to do to get the ingredients on short notice?

Once I'm showered and feeling more like myself, I stand looking at myself in the mirror in my tux. I take a good look at the person staring back at me and how my life has changed not even just over the last three years, but these last eight weeks. I never thought I would be here in this moment about to get married to Ana. My life really was flipped upside down. My brother almost killed me, I spent months in a coma, unsure if I would wake up, then when I did I find out I'm going to be a father. While also learning that the girl I loved more than anything was with me almost every second waiting and never giving up on me. There were moments where I wasn't sure I'll be able to walk again, that I wouldn't be me anymore. But now, the moments almost seem so far away. I'm standing on my own and I'm about to marry the girl of my dreams and the mother of my child and future children. The last eight weeks have been some of my hardest, but also maybe some of my favorites. Odd right? But it showed me how much good I truly have to live for.

* * *

An hour later, I'm under an arch made of white and pink roses with Jason at my side. The rest of our guest are sat in their seats and like me awaiting my bride.

The music starts and Mia comes down first smiling like a loon. She approaches to where I'm standing and gives me a hug, "I couldn't tell you how long I've been waiting for this day with you two. Congrats Bro." She kisses my cheek and moves to stand to the side.

The wedding march starts and rounding the corner in my girl, on my father's arm. She's perfect dressed in a long flowing ivory dress, with a lace neckline, and a stain slash around her stomach. Around her neck she's wearing the pink pearls I got her for her birthday, the first one we ever celebrated together. They were just like the ones her mother had. I'm not sure if I'll ever be able to top that gift.

The smile on my face hurts as I watch her walk closer and closer to me. Today will we be joined together for an eternity.

She's smiling maybe as big as I am when I take her hand. My father pats my shoulder before taking his seat.

"You're simply irresistible Anastasia. You take my breath away." I kiss her cheek.

"You look- wow. You could always pull off a tux." She smiles and steps back, our hands still connected.

We both look to Father Davis and he smiles at the both of us. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. Their love has been a journey, filled with ups and downs, but today with their family friends and under God, they will now be united together as one forever."

Davis goes about love, commitment, and unity. The words circle in my mind, but I can't stop looking at the woman that has had my heart for over five years. She's never looked more beautiful in white and the curve of our child growing outlined in the dress perfectly.

"Christian, if you will share your vows?" I'm almost startled by his response, not knowing we were at this point yet. I rub my fingers over Ana's knuckles, taking a deep breath to recite my vows.

"Ace, the second I met you I knew you were the girl for me. You could touch me when no one else could, you were adorable, feisty, funny, and have this cute snort laugh that I love. You were the person I needed in my life to show me everything I was missing. Not being with you was the worst time in my life, but in the end, it made me value and appreciate you more. I will never take advantage of your love for me again. We've both grown and have become stronger and better for one another. You've already proven to me that you'll stay by my side in sickness and health. You'll always be my number one girl." I turn to grab the ring from Jason and slip it on her left hand. "With this ring, I vow, from this day forward I'm holding on to you for as long as we both shall live. I'm going to love you and tell you every chance I get how much I do. I'm going to honor, cherish, drive you insane, protect you, and drive you wild from this day forward; today you become my wife and this is the beginning of a new chapter in our lives."

I touch her face and brush the fallen tears from her face with my thumb. "No crying, baby."

She giggles and shakes her head gently trying to stop the tears, and mouths that she loves me.

"Anastasia, your vows." the minister says breaking our little moment.

"Hotshot, when I first met you I knew you were going to be trouble. I was tempted to avoid you, but you made it very hard to do so." she chuckles along with our guest, "and I'm glad you didn't because our first kiss sparked something in me and like you I think I knew in that moment you were the one for me. When we parted my world stopped, I was going through the motions to survive, but I was never really living. It wasn't till we came back together, faced head-on with the evil trying to keep us apart, that I saw how much better we were the second time around. Evil almost won, but in the end, our love was too strong and now we're making our commitment permanent. I can't wait to grow old with you and raise our babies with you." Ana turns to Mia and she gives her my wedding band she was able to pick out yesterday. She slips the silver Tungsten ring on my hand. "With the ring, I vow from this day forward to love you always and never let you go. I'm going to honor and cherish, drive you crazy with my smart mouth, and also drive you wild for as long as we live. I can't wait to start this new chapter with you as my husband."

Ana reaches up and touches my cheek. She wipes the fallen tear from the corner of my eye like I did for her.

"No crying hotshot," she smiles.

I lean over to kiss her and Father Davis laughs stopping me, "not quite yet." All our guest, laugh as well.

"Can we make it quick?" I chuckle.

He smiles, "With the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may _now_ kiss your bride."

I grab the sides of her face and bring her lips to mine. When they collide, our tongues quickly tangle and everything around us becomes lost. She's my wife to forever and to hold.

* * *

"Will everyone gather around for the couple's first dance." The DJ announces.

"Mrs. Grey?" I reach out my hand to her. Her little hand slips into mine.

"That's me." She grins. I pull her body to mine as Ed Sheeran "Perfect" plays.

This will forever be our song. Every lyric tells a part of our history. You want our love story, this would definitely be the short version of it.

I place my lips to her ear and start singing the lyrics to her, while her fingers brush the back of my neck.

" **We are still kids, but we're so in love**

 **Fighting against all odds**

 **I know we'll be alright this time.**

 **Darling, just hold my hand**

 **Be my girl, I'll be your man.**

 **I see my future in your eyes...** ".

I continue to spin her around the dance floor, singing in her ear. When the song finishes our nose touch and the silent tears roll down her face.

"What have I told you about crying today?" I tease and brush her tears away.

"Then stop making me cry by being so romantic." She whacks me softly on the chest.

I chuckle and dip her down to kiss her. There's hoots and hollers around us. Once I finish sucking the life out of my wife, I stand her back up. She's a little unsteady on her feet and claps onto lapels.

"Why don't we get out of here?" I smirk, ready to be balls deep inside of my wife. We still have four hours till scheduled take off, but we could make perfect use of the jet bedroom till then.

"I'm not going anywhere before we cut the cake."

"Your choosing cake over sex?" I stare down at her, mockingly appalled.

"No, I just know I'll need the sugar to keep up with you tonight. Plus, all these people came for us, it would be rude not to keep partying with them." She smiles and wraps her arms around me again. We sway to the music, most everyone else has joined us on the floor.

"It wouldn't be rude, there here for free, drinking. Thanks to us they got time off work and a trip to England."

"Another hour or so won't kill you." she laughs, "this is fun. We won't have this moment again."

"Touché, Mrs. Grey." I kiss her forehead. "This is fun. Just no more crying today. At least not until we're 50,000 feet in the air, and you're crying out in pleasure from me pounding into you so hard you can feel in your teeth…"

"Promises, promises, Mr. Grey. I'm going to hold you to it."

* * *

I stare at the beautiful woman I get to call my wife, as we lay in bed for the night.

 _My wife_ , boy does that feels good to say after all these years. We had the picture-perfect honeymoon in Fiji. Sex, swimming, sex, Sun, Sex, shows, fancy dinners, sex, well you get the point. It was hard to come back, then try to go back to GEH. More so for me. But once I got back into the swing of things, I realized know how much I missed it. Being back in my CEO chair, running my empire again, it's as if everything is starting to come back together. There's just one more thing I need to do to make it complete.

"I've been thinking," I say out loud randomly into the quiet of our bedroom. Ana looks over at me, mid-bite into her chocolate chip cookie. I chuckle when a crumb falls onto her very exposed cleavage that's wrapped in a pink silk nightie. Her breasts are incredible now, and I still believe they doubled in size in the last week.

She is now at 38 weeks. Not only has my wife's chest grown, but it also seems our son has too, and the doctor believes that we might have a mammoth of a child on our hands. She's still absolutely stunning, even if she thinks otherwise. I can't wait till I can knock this woman up again, but I don't' dare tell her that yet. I just started walking again, and I'm not ready to lose my legs from a hormonal rage.

"Thinking about what?"

"Hmmm…." I'm still momentarily distracted by the crumb on her breast. I lean in a clean it up for her, taking my time to lick and rub my face between them.

She giggles and pushes my head away, "that's what you've been sitting there pondering about for twenty minutes?"

I smirk, my lips kissing the side of her neck before sitting back up. "It was part of it, but no. I was thinking about going to see Elliot. I couldn't tell you why, but I feel like I need to see it all to believe it."

"I get that. When were you thinking of going?"

"Tomorrow. The sooner the better. I was talking with Dr. Lovett's and she thought it would help for me to confront him…"

"Even though he's not really _there?_ "

"Yeah, I spoke to the person that is in his case, and he told me it would be alright. Elliot has some idea of his surroundings. I don't know; maybe there's a part of me that hopes if he sees me, he'll snap out of it. I guess I still find it hard to believe that he could just stop being _him_."

"Okay, do you want me to come with you?"

"No, I want you right here in this bed, with your feet up. You don't need to go to a mental facility with a bunch of crazy people."

She shakes her head, "I have been there before, remember? But if you need me, I'll go, but I'm not going to stay in bed all day, you do know who I am."

"A person that can't just enjoy her last two weeks of being pregnant and waited on? Actually, I feel like it makes you a bit of a freak."

"You're freak." She sticks her tongue out at me. "But I'm not restricted to this bed, and if you change your mind, I'll be there."

"I think it's something I need to do by myself."

I grab one of the cookies from the plate between us and finish it in two bites. A couple weeks ago, we hired Gail Jones to help us around the house, especially after the baby is born. We both adore her and I think Taylor might have a little crush on her. I've never seen the man so flustered before. Gail also makes the best chocolate chip cookies by far and some crazy person keeps requesting them every night. A plate a night has definitely been helping me to get some more weight put back on.

"You know I can't wait for Teddy to be born, so I can have some milk for these cookies." I wiggle my eyebrows and expose her breast to me. I latch on to and give it a quick suck.

"Perv."

* * *

I walk into the Seattle Institution and Infirmary with Taylor on my heels. I meet with Elliot's psychiatrist, Dr. Omen and he fills me into what's been going on with Elliot. It seems my brother as the mindset of a three to four-year-old, but still lacks any vocabulary. He'll watch tv mindlessly but doesn't react to it and will play with building blocks. There are only two members of the staff that he will give indications to that he understands - like clean up, eat, sleep, shower, and so on. He doesn't write either. He'll eat, but it has to be nursery food and or sandwiches that have to be cut into fours. Dr. Omen thinks his state of mind went to a time when he was safe. Elliot was adopted at the age of five, so his guess is his mind is at a state before his parents died. Although, he suspects the no talking has to do with him not being able to get into trouble-

Honestly, my brother's behaviors are somewhat of a mystery.

I look through the glass window that's between me and my brother. He's sitting in a chair, rocking back and forth, playing with Legos. He's insanely pale, his hair has returned to the blonde it was, and he's lost weight. And even though he looks somewhat sickly, I see my brother again, the one I grew up with, and for a fleeting second, it's hard to believe he's the one that tried to kill my wife and me.

I shake it off and enter the room. There's nothing in the room that he could use as a weapon and frankly, I think he would be too weak to even try to come after me. I might not be as muscular as I was pre-coma, but I have gained a hell of a lot of strength since I started walking again.

I sit in the chair in front of him, and he doesn't look up at me. I call his name and still nothing. I knew this visit might be a dud, but I had to know I had to see that he really was fucked up beyond repair. Elena did this. How different would our lives be if Elena never came into them? Would Elliot be carefree, loving life, had a girl that loved him as I do? Would I have ever met Ana? I push the thoughts aside, knowing the what ifs, are only that, and there's no point in trying to figure out what could have happened.

"Elliot, I know you can hear me. So, I'm just going to talk. I'm Christian, you're little brother."

His head pops up and he stares at me; a reaction. His expression is blank, but it's something.

"We grew up together, and we used to be close."

Still nothing, he's still blankly staring at me, his eyes not registering anything I'm saying.

"You see, at one time you were able to break up the greatest thing I ever had, and when I got it back, you tried again, and you almost succeeded by killing me. I know it wasn't all you, that she-witch had you so brainwashed into harming us. Especially seeing you now as nothing, it's easy to see your mind was never your own. But, I also have to thank you, in your attempt to break up Ana and me, you helped by making us stronger. Our love prevailed through your hate and soon enough, a product of that love I'll be holding in my arms, calling him my son. My children will hopefully never have to know what their uncle did and the horrors he couldn't control. If they ask because if they're anything like me, they'll get nosey; I'll only tell them the good times, I wouldn't tarnish them with the pain you gave Ana and me. With that said, I came here today to tell you that, and that I do forgive you. I forgive you because living with hating you takes too much energy. My life is better than ever and I'm happy. Who knows? Maybe you and she-witch are why. I'll never know for sure. But, this is good-bye."

I stand to my feet and Elliot is still looking at me. Maybe I still hope he'll open his mouth, maybe the words I'm sorry will spill out, or maybe we'll discover he is sane and send him to the actual prison. But as I look into his lifeless eyes, I know he's already in one in his head.

I walk out of the room without a glance backward. This part of my life feels over.

"You okay Christian?" Taylor asks as we walk out of the faculty.

"Never been better," I grin, and he pats me on the back.

"Interesting you say that because I have some news…."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, I'm rushing into my house like a bat out of hell. I wasn't allowed to have my phone on while visiting Elliot, so Ana had to call Taylor to let me know her water had broken. My heart is racing and sweat is dripping down my face in panic. She's early and I'm wondering why she's not on her way to the hospital.

I'm about to make my way to the steps when Ana catches my eye. She's sitting on the couch eating what looks like a grilled cheese sandwich and bonbons.

What the fuck?

"You said your water broke? What are you doing?" I'm confused wondering why she is just sitting there stuffing her face, and not, I don't know, getting her butt ready to move out the door.

"It did, but I was hungry and waiting for you." She laughs "Why are you so panicked, I told you not to worry and that we had time. My contractions are like fifteen minutes apart. Chill."

"You said that you needed to get to the hospital." I move to stand in front of her.

"I do, but Dr. Greene said I was okay as long as I get there within a couple of hours. It's been thirty minutes since I called you. Gail has my bag ready and I'm going to finish stuffing my face because I have no idea when I'll be able to eat next." She shakes her head and puts the last piece of grilled cheese in her mouth.

"You done now?"

"Are you going to be like this for the next however many hours?" She giggles, "have my crazy hormones rubbed off on you? Because I might have to ask Taylor if he was able to steal a straight jacket for me."

Suddenly she crunches over and grabs her stomach, "fuck."

"That's what you get for making jokes," I tell her sternly and she looks up, glaring at me.

"Shut up." She finally mutters when the contraction passes.

"You ready now?"

"Yeah, yeah, but you do realize this might take all day, right?"

It didn't take all day.

Theodore Raymond Grey came screaming into this world at 4:54pm weighing at a whopping 8lbs 4oz. 22in long. Dr. Greene said that if Ana went the next two weeks we could have had been at least nine pounds

By the time we got to the hospital Ana's labor had progressed. She was already at 3ccm and three hours later I was holding our son in my arms, with some added broken fingers to boot. They say the first usually take the longest, but not this time.

I sit on the edge of Ana's bed and she rubs her finger down Teddy's chubby cheek. "He looks so much like you already," she smiles down at our little boy. It's still somewhat surreal that we have a child.

"I have to wonder what in the world you were feeding this kid to get him so, plump."

"The child ate everything. I'm not even sure I got any of it to be honest. All him. Like his father that can eat whatever the fuck he wants, like potato chips wrapped in meat and cheese."

"Oh my god," Mia's voice rings into the room and rushes over to us, "he's so cute. Can I hold him?"

She holds out her arms and wiggles her fingers.

"Hi to you sis, nice to see you."

Mia looks at me and raises her eyebrow, "I see you guys all the time, I haven't met him yet."

"Mia, Grandma first." My mom and dad come pilling in with balloons, flowers, and gifts. I crack a smile, already spoiling the child that has almost everything.

My mom rushes over to me and I hand Teddy to her. "Oh, boy look at this chuck."

"He's got legs like the Michelin man. I love it so much…" Mia gleams and rubs his cheek.

And for the first time in months, I see my mom's face light up brighter than any Christmas tree or fourth of July fireworks. Tenison rolls off her shoulders staring down at her first grandchild.

"He's perfect you two." Tears are now pouring from her eyes. "You are going to be so loved baby boy. I promise you." My mom kisses the top of his head and hands him to Mia.

I pull my mom into a hug and she breaks down crying. "I'm so proud of the both of you." She finally says whipping her tears on my shirt. "You're both are going to be wonderful parents, I know it."

"Thanks mom, I had a good teacher by the way."

She shakes her head. I know she's not believing me after how both her sons got trapped in Elena's claws, but even the best parents mess up sometimes, and sometimes it's out of their control. Elena was a manipulating person and perfected herself from anyone seeing her true intent. Though as I glance at my wife, I have a feeling between the both of us, anyone that crosses our children's path, we're going to have a close eye on, followed, and background checked up the ass.

"I love you, mom, but no more crying I've had enough of that from Ana the last four months." I joke and my mom swats me, smiling again. She grabs my chin and shakes my face, "it's only going to get worse now before it gets better, sorry to tell you."

"Great." I sigh and Ana throws a pillow at my face telling me to deal with it.

* * *

My family finally leaves hours later of fawning over my son. Teddy is nestled in his bassinet fast asleep next to Ana's bed.

Ana herself is wide awake. I'm surprised, I figured she would be exhausted. But nope here she's been flapping those pretty lips of hers.

"You never got to tell me how it went with Elliot?"

"Well, he's really not all there that's for sure. He looked at me, but I could tell he might have known who I really was. If he has any memory of me it's not as a twenty-five-year-old. I told him I forgive him, and goodbye." I lay down next to her in the bed. It's a tight fit, but we have mastered this.

She lays her head on my chest and cuddles into me. "Are you okay though?"

"Never been better, honestly. That chapter of our lives is finally over. Elena is dead, she remains spread over a sewage treatment center, I think it's safe I'm at peace. I have you and our son, and my family. I don't need anything else."

"I love you." She mumbles into my chest

"I love you too," I kiss her forehead. "You tired now?"

She nods and swings her leg over mine. "You're just so comfy. You make this hospital bed so much better."

"Glad I can help. Get some sleep." She doesn't say anything else and I know she has fallen asleep. I brush her hair back and kiss the top of her head. Looking over at my sleeping son I really do truly feel at peace, with a family I was always supposed to have with her.

I loved her, lost her, found her, and now I have forever with her.

* * *

 **Five years later….**

"Do you have it all set up?" My wife asks from the bed, naked. I have the video cameras set up ready to record. Tonight, we're making a sex tape, something we haven't done since college. Even in my head, it's surprising, but I guess after Elliot and Elena finding our tape put an automatic stop to it.

"Yep, it should be good to go."

Three cameras set up to record the different angles and on timers to continuously change.

I move to the bed and scoop her into my arms. My hand trace over her breast, down to her swollen stomach. Ana is now four months pregnant with our third and fourth child. Finding out we were having twins was a surprise, but the both of us couldn't be more excited about it.

Teddy is now five. Our little chunk thinned out and I think it has to with him always being a constant ball of energy. He just started kindergarten a month ago. My boy is quite the popular one and there's always one of his little friends running around this house.

Our daughter Phoebe is three going on twenty-six. She's sharp as a tact and always has her nose in a book. She looks exactly like her mother and I know she's going to drive me crazy when she becomes a teen and wants to start dating. Good thing for all the extra security we have.

"You're so beautiful carrying my children, Ace," I whisper in her ear and let my hand move between her drenched folds. Her head lolls back on my shoulder and I nip and suck on her neck. My fingers slip into her core and I begin to move. The voyeuristic side of me is turned on knowing the camera has a perfect view of what I'm doing and can't wait to watch it again later.

"Christian…" she pants, her breath tickling the side of my neck. When she's pregnant, it's like all I have to do is touch her and she comes like a rocket. Now with the twins, it's twice as easy. Her hold body is overly sensitive and reacts like crazy to my touch. I love it.

I roll her nipple between my fingers and capture her mouth with mine. Letting my tongue explore her mouth, my fingers move inside her faster, my thumb circling her clit. Her muscles clench and her nails dig into my leg.

"Let it go, baby. Let me feel you." I twist her nipple a little hard and her body convulses around me. "That's my girl."

Once she's finished quivering, I nudge her to move, so I can get in position. She sits on her knees and I lay on my back on the bed. Ana grabs a hold of my dick and pumps it in her hand. She leans over and licks around my tip before taking me to the back of her throat.

 _How I wish I had a handheld camera right now to get close up on this action._

I could watch her forever as her head bobs on my dick. Though I need her. I need her encased around my dick. I fist her hair and pull her off me.

"That's enough Mrs. Grey." She gives me a pout. "Come sit on my dick, your ass to me."

"As you wish, sir." she teases. Place her knees on each side of me, she sinks herself down to my shaft. She bounces on me and my finger plays with the outside of her ass.

"I can't wait to have this later…" I grunt.

I grab a hold of her hips and still her, "Hold on, baby."

I lift her up to my tip and slam her down, bottoming out in her. "FUCK!" Ana screams, and I do it again. She falls forward with the next and I figure I should do slower movements.

"You okay, Ace?" She nods, but she's breathless. I won't do any more of those, just to be on the safe side, but over the years I have done my research on just how rough I can get with her while pregnant.

"Yeah," she wiggles her hips and pushes back on my thrusts.

"MOMMY!" Teddy's voice yells from the opposite end of our door, his little hand knocking to the beat to jingle bells. The both of us are frozen in our spots. It's after eleven, he should be asleep.

Fucking figures out of all the nights he would get up.

Maybe he just heard his mom scream and thought it was a monster. She was loud even considering the soundproof walls.

"What's wrong, Teddy?" Ana calls back, trying to move off me, but I hold her down. I think we can convince him to go back to bed.

"Mommy…" he cries, "I'm scared…" He wiggles the handle trying to open the door. We leave it unlocked unless we are doing what we're supposed to be doing now. "I want to come in…"

"Hold on, sweetie…"

I release my wife's hips and know that the night is over for us. Ana gets up and finds her robe and throws my boxers back at me. I move off the bed, slipping on my boxers and PJ pants and cut the cameras. My wife opens the doors once the both of us are put together enough.

Teddy comes flying in and barrels into the middle of the bed.

"Don't forget me…" Phoebe's little voice calls as she comes running into the room with her stuffed bunny tucked in her arm.

I laugh as the both of them get under the covers. This is my life and I wouldn't change it one bit.

Well, besides the fact I wish they could have stayed in bed for a while longer.

"What's going on you two? And why aren't we in our own beds?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see Ana slip to the bathroom, I'm sure to put on real PJ's since I don't think our night time intruders are going to be leaving soon.

"I had a nightmare. There were monsters and they were trying to eat me…and I was stuck in a Minecraft house and it had no doors. Then the pigs turned to vampires." I close my eyes and shake my head. The boy always did have an active imagination

"Monsters were going to eat you?" Phoebe looks at him shocked. "DADDY, MONSTERS EAT KIDS? You said they were nice…"

"Monsters aren't nice, Phe. Don't believe the movies they try to show us." Teddy crosses his arms and Phoebe lips tremble.

I slide onto the bed and put my daughter on my lap. "Monsters aren't real."

"They are too, daddy," Teddy argues just as Ana comes out of the bathroom dressed now in a white shirt and plaid pajama pants.

"They're not. It's all make-believe. Plus, don't you think mommy and daddy would let any monsters near you?"

"You can't protect them in my dreams. They wanted to eat me."

"But that's just it. It was a dream. Not real." I tussle his hair. "But it doesn't make it any less scary. But you know your safe."

Ana sits next to Teddy and he curls around her stomach. "But when I came to your door I heard mommy scream…"

 _Knew it._

"Mommy and Teddy were watching a scary movie." Ana tries to play off.

"You wanna be scared?" Phoebe peeps.

"Sometimes it's fun…for when you get older."

"I don't think so…" Teddy shakes his head, his copper curls flying around. "I'll never like scary movies."

"Alright, Alright. It's late and we have a lot of people coming over tomorrow. Remember what tomorrow is?" I ask them to try to change the subject.

"Mommy's birthday!" Phoebe cheers.

"Right, so we need lots of sleep, so you can stay up for all the fun stuff and the cake."

Tomorrow we're having a huge bash for Ana's 30th birthday. The kids have been looking forward to it more than Ana. We have a moon bounce set and games for the afternoon, but will start the day out on my new catamaran, "Ace of hearts"

"Did you get the ice cream cake with the chocolate crunchy things?" Teddy asks, his eyes large in hopes.

"Yes, now sleep…"

The kids cuddle under the covers, Teddy on my left and Phoebe on Ana's right, that way I can hold the girl that has always kept my nightmares away. Plus, the kids wiggle too much if there in the middle together, fighting over more space.

More than likely they'll end up on top of us in the morning.

I close my eyes and drift to sleep, dreaming about the time I told my wife I loved her for the first time on her birthday all those years ago and how it led me here.

* * *

 _Flashback_

 _I'm running late as I charge into Tri-Delta Sorority house. It's Ana's birthday today and the girls are throwing her a huge celebration. I was hoping to give her gift before the party, but I had a meeting with my professor about a proposal I'm going to present in a couple of weeks._

 _As of today, we've been dating for three weeks, but it feels like so much longer. I can barely remember my life before she entered it. Not that I really want to remember it anyways. Those times are over and this is my beginning._

 _Ana Steele has made me want to be a better person._

 _The party is already on full blast when I walk in the place smells of weed and liquor. The stereo is blasting with some local band that Ana is always trying to make me see._

 _I see a bunch of girls circled around in the kitchen and head towards them. They click their shot glasses together in cheers and toss them back. My girl stands in the center wearing a sinful red dress that shows off her every curve and shows off her long legs._

 _I make my approach and Ana's eyes meet mine. She looks guilty and I know it's because I asked if she would wait for me before she started the celebratory shots._

" _Christian!" Pushing two of the girls out of the way she flings her arms around my neck and kisses me. She tastes of tequila and lime._

 _That taste only equals to one thing: I'm going to have a crazy horny girl on my hands all night._

" _Oh god girls, it's starting. We've lost her." One of the girl's shout, giggling._

" _We need more shots. Alpha boy needs to catch up." Leslie yells going for the bottle of tequila._

 _Ignoring them she kisses me again and brushes my cheek._

" _I'm sorry. I told them I was waiting for you, but they made me."_

" _It's okay. Just as long it was the first one."_

 _Nodding her head, she pulls herself closer to me. "I'm so glad you're here now. I've missed you today."_

" _I've missed you too. Sorry, I'm late. I really didn't want to be because I got you something…and was hoping to give it you before everyone got here."_

" _You did?" Her eyes light up._

" _Of course, I did. You think I wouldn't get you something special for your birthday?" From my inside coat pocket, I pull out the pink wrapped gift, handing it to her._

" _Did you wrap this?" She chuckles at my crap wrapping job. The pink paper is folded over twice and the corners have extra tape to keep them closed. I couldn't find my scissors and said fuck it. It's what's inside that counts._

" _Yes?" I shrug._

 _She bites down on her lip trying to keep herself from laughing harder. "Well, it wouldn't be fair to anyone else if you didn't have one flaw."_

" _Think this is bad. You should see me in the kitchen."_

" _So, no special dinners made by you anytime soon?" She jokes and I shake my head._

 _Ana rips the paper without too much struggle and reveals the long black box. Opening the box, she gasps when she sees the pink pearl necklace. "Christian…" my name faint leaving her lips. Her eyes glint to mine and tears swim in those baby blues. "This is- everything."_

" _You said you wish you could have one like your mother's, so I took a picture of the picture on your dresser and found the best match."_

 _Ana had told me when she was a kid her mom would always let her play dress up with her pearls. They were some of her favorite memories of her mom. The pearls were a gift from her grandmother and her mother never took them off and was even buried with them._

" _I love this so much. This is the sweetest and most thoughtful gift I've ever gotten before." Grabbing my chin she pulls me down and kisses me. "Thank you. I'm going to treasure this forever. Can you put them on for me?" Handing me the box, she holds her hair up and I clasp the necklace around her neck. I trace my hand down her back and spin her back to me._

 _Her eyes meet mine lovingly. She bites down on her lip and rubs her hand down my chest._

 _I should tell her, now._

" _Ana...I…"_

" _Okay, it's time for shots you guys." Leslie and Sarah come over to use with shots in hand, interpreting the moment. Though I should thank because telling Ana I love her in the middle of a party probably isn't the best of ideas. We are each handed a shot and I clink mine with Ana._

" _Happy birthday, Ace."_

 _She blushes at the nickname I gave her last week._

" _Thank you, hotshot." We throw back the shots and the night begins._

 _X-x-x-xx_

 _A couple hours later, Ana and I are in the middle of the living room, dancing, well more like grinding on each other. The both of us are drunk, Ana more than me. Fifteen-year-old me would never believe that I would be having this much fun at a college party._

 _My mouth sucks on the side of her neck, she's salty, yet still so sweet. Her hands tangle in my hair, my mouth now finding hers. I didn't think I could ever love someone, but I'm hopelessly in love with this girl._

" _ANA!" Ana's name being called across the room breaks us apart and coming at us is her friends Samuel and Cora._

" _Hey guys," She moves out of my arms to hug her two friends. My jealousy spurs when Sam puts his arms around her. He's a good-looking, rich, and has the hots for her. Every time we're together he's always looking at drooling at her. It drives me nuts, but I keep the thoughts to myself. If I'm honest, he never gives me the dirty looks and treats me friendly enough, but I still don't like it._

" _Glad you could come up for air to greet us, Ana." Cora jokes._

" _Shut up. Plus, can you blame me?" Ana smiles over at me and I feel slightly better._

" _Okay, I got you something. Here." Cora hands her a purple bag. She digs in and it's a couple bottoms of body lotions and sprays. Ana thanks her, giving her a hug._

" _My turn," Sam says and hands Ana his gift. The fucker wraps better than me that's for sure._

 _Ana unwraps the gift and reveals a red Cartier box._

 _Now I am pissed. What gives him the right to buy my girl, Cartier? Was he trying to show me up? What the fuck?_

 _I clench my jaw watching Ana open the red 'woman stealing' box. "Sam, I can already tell you it's to be too much."_

 _He waves it up and tells her to just open it. She does and inside is a rose gold orchid pendant necklace. He just spent three thousand dollars on my girl. "I saw it on your Facebook and you said how much you loved it."_

 _Now I'm beyond pissed. I'm out of control with my rage and I'm holding on by a string not to snap at this asshole in the middle of a party._

" _Wow. I mean Sam this really is too much."_

" _It's nothing. We've been friends for years. I wanted to get you something you like besides a bottle of rum this year."_

" _It's amazing. Thank you, Sam."  
When Ana moves to hug him I can't take it anymore. I storm away, needing space. _

_I grab a beer from the kitchen and down it. Looking at to the living room, she hasn't even noticed I left yet. Maybe she wants him now? Seeing how good he'll be able to provide for her in the future. Sure, the pearls weren't cheap, but they weren't in that league._

 _Not being able to take it anymore I barrel up the stairs seeing red. Which serves to only piss me off more because it makes me think of that fucking jewelry box._

 _I've never felt like this before. Rage, hurt, defeat. All emotions I never got with the lifestyle. I never cared about any of those girls._

 _Maybe she deserves better than me. I'm a guy that can't confess his past, ashamed of what he was, and if I ever tell her, she'll leave me for sure. I'm a monster, but the thing is I can't lose her, even to Mr. Cartier downstairs._

 _I enter Ana's room and look around the place that she calls home. The room where we started because I was a drunk idiot._

 _On the wall, I spot the pictures of us from the fair. She's making goofy faces and I'm looking at her. I'm pretty sure that was the moment I truly fell in love with her. I just didn't know what it was till now._

 _I was supposed to be telling her that tonight, hoping that she'll return the words. But instead, I'm in her room, stewing._

 _I need to calm down. Get these feelings under control. Talk to her._

Or bury Sam under the drive way.

 _My eyes dart to the door hearing the door handle turn. Ana walks in that damn gift in her hands, along with Cora's gift bag. She lays them down on the dresser and closes the door behind her. "Hey."_

 _I nod at her, not saying anything. Worried about the green-eyed monster will go verbally crazy with his jealous vocabulary._

" _Why are you up here?"_

" _That's a nice necklace he gave you," I say plainly and look out her window to the street._

" _It is, but nowhere as nice as the one you gave me."_

" _Isn't it though?" I murmur under my breath, closing my eyes. I'm trying to count to ten, but I can't make it past two._

" _Is that what's wrong? Why you just left? You think I like his gift over yours because it came in a fancy red box?"_

" _An expensive red box," I state finally looking back at her._

" _I doubt yours cost any less, but it wouldn't matter. I love this." she touches the pink pearls on her neck. "I wasn't lying when I told you this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me."_

" _He has the hots for you." I spit out the words, forgetting what it was I wanted to say._

" _I know," she whispers._

 _She knew? Yet, she still hangs around him? I grit my teeth together, the anger swirling around once more._

" _Do you want him?" I bite._

 _Her jaw drops, and I don't know why she appears so shocked by my statement. What does she want me to think after confessing that?_

" _No!" She says forcefully, and it eases me a bit. "Sam will never be more than a friend to me. I'm with you and I only want to be with you. You have to believe me. I thought I show you all the time, you're the one I want."_

 _She does, but it still make my discomfort of the pretty boy any better._

" _I don't know if I can deal with him hanging around you. Buying you Cartier, trying to upstage me. Men will do anything to get a girl's pants. Taken or not." The idea of some guy drooling over my girl, possibility waiting for me to fuck up, irks me._

 _She moves closer to me but doesn't touch me. "I know that because you were one of them." Sighing, she looks down at her feet and then back at me. "Christian, I can promise you, I'm not going to ever hang out with him alone. I know that wouldn't be right to do with – well, any guy, hots or not. But he's still my friend and till he pushes those boundaries I don't want to discontinue our friendship. He's never tried anything or asked me out. I think it's been made pretty clear I'm with you."_

" _But you knew he has the hots for you?" I deadpan._

" _Yes. I'm not sure on the extent of the feelings now. We were drunk, long before you, and he told me how he felt. I couldn't return them and he accepted it because he didn't want to hurt our friendship. Nothing more has ever happened since then nor have we brought it up. For all I know it could've been the booze. He's had a girlfriend since then too. More than likely he doesn't feel that way anymore, but I wasn't going to lie to you about what he's told me in the past because I don't know 100% sure. And Cartier is nothing to Sam, he just saw my Pinterest and got it. Money is a non-issue for him. He buys lots of people over the top gifts. Last summer he got Cora two-thousand diamond stud earrings, just because she pointed them out in a store window."_

" _Okay."_

" _Do you trust me?"_

" _I do. It's him I don't."_

" _Me and you hang out every day now, so you'll know when he's around because you'll be there too. But if it makes you that crazy, I'll stop hanging out with him, period."_

 _I close my eyes and I know I can't ask that of her but knowing she would be willing to throw her friend away for me makes me soar. This girl really cares about me. I've been so stuck in my head worried if I'll ever be good enough for her, that she couldn't possibly love a fuck up like me and every day she shows me how wrong I am._

 _Now I just need to tell her._

" _No, I don't want you to do that. I've just never done any of this before. Handling these kinds of emotions. I've never been jealous before. I never had a reason for to be. Now, all it takes is for a guy to be in 50 feet from you and my blood starts pumping, thinking they're too close to you, wanting in your panties."_

 _She grins and moves to stand right in front of me. She places a hand over my heart._

" _I get that. I feel the same way sometimes when girls come up to you putting their fake chests in your face. I think you're saving grace is that you never even bat an eye at them."_

" _The only person I want to bat an eye at is you." I brush a loose strand of hair back behind her ear. "I'm sorry."_

" _It's no big deal, Christian. I think I would feel the same way if it was in reverse. But you know you can talk to me about this stuff." She wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek._

" _You're not mad?"_

" _Why would I be mad? You just told me how you felt? It's what couples do. Plus, your kind of cute when you get jealous and it means you care about me." She smirks._

" _I do care about you, very much."_

" _Right back at you." Her lips press against mine and I lose myself in her. I try to convey what she means to me in this very kiss. She moans against my lips and my dick grows pushing into her stomach. "I want you," she pants, "I need to thank you properly for my gift."_

" _Fuck," I lift her in my arms, stumbling back to the bed. I lay her down and hover myself over her. Breaking away, I take a good look at her. Her hair is fanned out, her face is blushed, and her eyes dance around lustfully. She's fucking perfect._

" _I love you."_

 _There I said it. It's out in the open now._

 _Her mouth pops open, "you do?"_

" _How could I not?"_

 _She chops down on her lower lip and her eyes water, "I love you, too."_

" _You do?"_

" _How could I not?" She giggles, throwing my words back at me._

 _I kiss the line of her jaw, down her neck and back to her lips. "Can I show you how much?"_

" _Yes, please." She begs._

 _Her party downstairs is quickly forgotten as our clothes go flying. Wrapping her legs around me, I sink into her. She hisses and yanks on my hair as I fill her completely and start to move._

" _I love you," I whisper in her ear. My trusts are slow and leisurely wanting- needing - to feel every inch of her. Enjoying the way her pussy hugs my dick. It's fucking home._

 _We're all mouth, tongue, and teeth. The sounds of our love making fill the room._

" _Christian," She yanks on my hair and thrusts her hips upwards, wanting more. I pick up my pace and her core tightens around me. She's fucking close and so am I._

 _I rest my head on her forehead, getting lost in her eyes. Mine._

" _Happy birthday, Ace."_

 _She moans and her eyes roll in the back of her head, coming apart around me. "Happy birthday to me."_

The End

* * *

 **A/n: Do your teeth hurt? Mine do…lol Let me know what you think**

 **I'm not 100% happy with the way this turned out. I never planned to go past the proposal but you guys twisted my arm…lol**

 **Thanks again to all you guys for your support!**


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